From Out of the Depths
by kyalpn
Summary: Ethan and Theresa have had a pretty ideal life so far, but will it last? Sequel to When You Tell Me That You Love Me.
1. Prologue

Ethan and Theresa have had a pretty ideal life so far. Will it last? (Rating: PG13)

From Out of the Depths

Prologue

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Pace to the door.

Pace back to the window.

To the door.

To the window.

_Why isn't he calling me?_

_Why isn't he here yet?_

_Where are you Ethan?_

Theresa's fretting was beginning to match her pacing, which was picking up in tempo.

Back and forth. _Come on Ethan._

Back and forth. _What is taking so long?_

Just as Theresa thought she was going to lose her mind, her office door opened and Ethan walked through it.

"Ethan!" she breathed in relief and rushed into his arms.

Holding her tightly, Ethan sighed. "I'm sorry, Baby. It was a zoo at the station. Press everywhere. Julian certainly didn't waste anytime."

Stepping out of Ethan's arms to look up into his face, Theresa had one request. "Tell me it's not as bad as it sounds?"

Looking into his wife's pleading eyes, Ethan felt his heart break for her and what the next few days and months would surely bring. "I'm sorry Honey. It's that bad."

Dropping into one of the richly upholstered chairs, Theresa felt like her world was tipping. Like she was on a ship that was sinking, and she and her life were sliding down the deck to the ocean below. Just before she hit the water, a hand grabbed her and pulled her back. Looking down into her lap, she saw her husband's large comforting hand holding her own.

"It's going to be OK. I'm not sure how, but we're going to live through this, you hear me? We'll get through this like we've gotten through everything else Life has thrown at us over the years."

And even though the water was still swirling dangerously beneath her, Theresa knew he wouldn't let her drown.


	2. Chapter 1

It's a hectic morning in the Whinthrop house...(Rating: PG13)

Chapter 1

"Oh, Lily! How did you manage to get the _entire _bottle of syrup all over you?"

"Jane Sweetie, please stop playing with your breakfast and either eat it or go get cleaned up and ready to go."

"Mom?! I can't find my gloves! And do I really have to wear this stupid hat?"

At her son's yelling from the hallway, Theresa clamped her eyes shut, and clasped her hands in frustration. Drawing a deep breath, she tried to calm down. Sensing Theresa's mood, Mrs. Patterson smiled, and took Jane's hand.

"Come on Miss Jane. I think you're finished with this waffle. Let's go get you ready for school."

Smiling that once again their live in nanny/housekeeper seemed to know what needed to be done before she was even asked, Theresa grabbed Lily and rushed to get her changed. On her way past Bud (even she had started to call her son by that name) she pointed out his gloves lying haphazardly on the floor of the closet. "There are your gloves, and no you don't have to wear your hat. But I don't want to hear any complaints later that your ears were cold all day."

In Lily's room, Theresa rushed to find different clothes for her and get the dirty ones into the laundry. Why was it that when the day started out chaotically, it usually continued to get even more so? They had all gotten a late start this morning, as both Theresa and Ethan slept through their respective alarms. In fact, Ethan had showered, dressed, and rushed out the door in record time, skipping breakfast entirely, and was going to meet Theresa at the office instead of their regular practice of driving together after taking the kids to school. Struggling with her squirming daughter, Theresa thought maybe having another baby wasn't that good of an idea after all. They had talked about it, but hadn't made a decision one way or the other. And while they weren't trying to have a baby per se, they weren't preventing it either.

The ringing of the phone interrupted Theresa's thoughts, and finished with Lily, she followed the running toddler out of the room to the hallway extension. "Hello?" she answered quickly.

"Hey Honey."

Usually the sound of his voice calmed her and brought a smile to her face, but instinctively Theresa knew something was wrong. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she just knew. "Ethan what's wrong?"

"Um, well, something's come up at the police station, and it seems that someone needs a lawyer." Even though he and Theresa were running Crane Industries together, Ethan still felt a desire to help the little man, and at times did Pro bono work on the side.

Theresa felt a very brief moment of relief before foreboding closed in again. "Ethan what aren't you telling me?" The fact that he didn't try to deny there was anything wrong confirmed Theresa's suspicions. "Ethan, you might as well tell me because I'm not hanging up this phone until you do."

Knowing his wife all too well on that point, Ethan sighed. "I didn't want to get into this over the phone, but OK."

He paused again, and Theresa fought the feeling of dread rising up in her heart. "Ethan, just spit it out."

She heard Ethan take a deep breath. "It's Luis and Miguel. They've been arrested."

"You can't be serious! I mean I know you wouldn't joke about this…but what on earth for?" The idea that her brothers would be arrested and charged with any crime was almost laughable to Theresa, but it was like she said. Ethan would never joke about something like that.

"Brace yourself." Ethan's voice was dead serious and Theresa suddenly felt like she was going to faint. Reaching to steady herself against the wall, she waited for the rest. "Luis has been charged with the rape of Fancy, and Miguel is charged with the attempted murder of Fox."

Sliding down the wall to the floor, Theresa couldn't believe her ears. "Rape and murder! That's ridiculous! Luis and Miguel would never…" the idea was too preposterous to even finish that sentence.

"Mom! We're going to be late for school!" Bud's voice reached Theresa, and apparently Ethan heard him as well.

"Honey? Why don't you just stay put, have Mrs. Patterson take the kids to school, and I'll come home as soon as I find out what the deal is." Thank the Lord for Ethan, always the voice of reason in a crisis. But Theresa had a different plan.

"No. I'll take the kids to school as usual. I don't want to upset them by changing up the plan now. I won't take Lily to spend the day with Mama. She'll want to be with Luis and Miguel. I'll leave Lily here with Mrs. Patterson instead, and I'll meet you at the office as originally planned. The staff should feel like its business as usual until we know something for sure."

The concern in Ethan's voice increased. "Are you sure? This is a big shock. I don't want you driving if you're upset."

Theresa was firm. "No. I'm fine. This is too ridiculous. There has got to be a logical explanation."

"OK." Ethan relented, knowing that Theresa was going to do exactly as she pleased anyway. It was that stubborn streak, that fighting will that he loved so much about her. "Just be careful. I love you."

Theresa bit her lip against the tears that suddenly threatened to fall. He could still melt her heart with that. "I love you too. See you in a bit." Hanging up the phone, she rushed for her own things, explained the change in plan to Mrs. Patterson while kissing Lily, and ran with Bud and Jane to the car.

Trying to keep up a brave front for her children, Theresa prayed for help. She wasn't sure why or what was happening here, but knew that she was going to need all the help she could get.


	3. Chapter 2

Last time: In the middle of a chaotic morning Theresa found out that Luis and Miguel had been arrested...(Rating: PG13)

Chapter 2

Theresa pulled her Silver BMW Beemer up to Harmony Elementary School just as the warning bell was ringing, and the kids hurried to get out of the car.

"See you tonight after work, OK? Be good for Mrs. Patterson when you get home after school." She said throwing kisses to them both.

"Bye Mom!" they called back, and ran into the building.

Theresa sighed as she pulled away from the curb. On to the office. Crane Industries was on the other side of town from their home and the school, so she had a little time to collect her thoughts.

Luis and Miguel arrested. How was that even possible? And the things they were being accused of! Luis wouldn't hurt a woman in any way, never mind rape one—and Fancy Crane, his own girlfriend to boot. And while Miguel was vocal about his dislike for Fox and the fact that he had married the mother of his daughter, he wouldn't try to kill him. What was going on here? There had to be a logical explanation, didn't there? Theresa was sure there was, even if she couldn't think of one right now. It was just too ridiculous that this was even happening.

Glancing down at the speedometer, Theresa realized she was speeding. Immediately letting her foot off the gas pedal, she tried to concentrate on her driving. It wouldn't do to end up getting a ticket on the same day as her brothers found themselves in trouble. The press was sure to get wind of this as it was. Besides, Ethan would scold—especially since he had just told her to be careful.

Working to calm herself, Theresa thought of her husband of almost 4 years. Just thinking of him calmed her heart as she knew it would. His unending patience and almost obsessive need to be objective at all times, and see the best in everyone drove her nuts sometimes, but more often she remembered how lucky she was to have finally gotten to become his wife. He loved her to distraction and with a passion that drove them both mad. He was a devoted father to their children. Impeccable in business, exact in the courtroom, his reputation as just and fair preceded him. What more could a girl ask for? Thinking about that question, Theresa decided the answer was "not much". Since getting married, they'd had a pretty good life. Not without problems, but who's marriage was?

Of course one of the first things they'd had to deal with was Julian and his quest to overturn Theresa's will and throw her and Ethan out of Crane. Actually, that had only ended recently, since court after court ruled in Theresa's favor, while Julian had refused to give up. At the last hearing, the judge had had enough. In light of the past rulings, and the fact that Ethan and Theresa had decided to give Julian back the Crane Estate and find their own home, she'd thrown the case out, advising Julian that it was the last time it would be heard in a Harmony court, and Julian had grudgingly admitted defeat.

That being said, the next thing they had to do was find a home. Theresa wanted to build their dream home, while Ethan had wanted to restore one of the beautiful Victorians around Harmony. There had been a lot of discussions about which was the best idea, some of them heated at times. She thought restoring a home was too much work, and he had asked what did she think building a home would entail? To which she'd replied that at least they'd have something that had been designed just for them, kind of like a brand new start. Which was the same difference as restoring a home he thought logically. It would be redone to their tastes and what they wanted, plus they'd have a piece of Harmony's history. And it would be worth a small fortune when they were done with it. She had looked at him in exasperation and countered that that was the same difference as building a really nice, brand new home that would be worth its own fortune, and she didn't really want a piece of Harmony's history anyway. She wanted to make some of it for once! To which he'd chuckled and said that they'd managed to write enough history between the two of them in the last 10 years, and thinking about how true it was, she had laughed instead of staying mad.

In the end they had compromised and decided to look around Harmony first, and then if nothing appealed to them, they would build. But that hadn't been necessary. Theresa had fallen in love with a home just up the hill from the Mansion, and Ethan had gotten his wish. It sat on a large piece of land back away from the road and was enclosed in woods. The tree lined drive wound up to the house, and into huge manicured lawns that circled around beautiful English gardens, which opened into a surprisingly normal backyard complete with swing set, sand box, pool, and covered patio. To someone who didn't know them well, it would become apparent to them that while wealthy for sure, this was a family that used their backyard for normal family things—barbecues, tag, hide and seek, pool parties, and pretty much whatever else one could think of.

Inside, it was more than adequate as far as space and decor was concerned, but nothing was over the top. Theresa's favorite feature was the big bay window in the Family Room that had a window seat perfect for sitting and dreaming while one looked out into the woods. Again, someone there for the first time would find their home to be elegant and formal in some areas, but functional and kid friendly in most others. And if that person observed them long enough, they would also realize that the Winthrops were just like any other family.

Which is exactly what Ethan and Theresa wanted to be. Determined not to spoil their family with their money, there was no large staff to wait on every whim. Toys and trinkets were not given simply because they could be. The kids were expected to clean up after and do for themselves, and were being taught to treat everyone they met with respect. And they had been careful to make sure all of their children spent time with kids from all walks of life. This was the reason Ethan and Theresa sent them to the local school even though they could afford to send them to the best and most exclusive schools in the world. Ivy had been scandalized, coming from old money and traditions, but Ethan and Theresa would not be swayed.

Ivy had been another issue in which they'd had a chance to test their marriage. It seemed that the problems that Sam and Ivy had stemmed from the fact that Ivy had set up an elaborate scheme to get him back, Sam being her one true love. The scheme had involved breaking up Sam's marriage by making his wife Grace think she'd been married before, but had somehow developed amnesia? Theresa wasn't sure how all the details worked, but the point was, Ivy knew Grace would feel the need to honor her first marriage vows, whether she remembered them or not. Ivy's plan had eventually come out, and Grace had tragically died before she could get home to her family that had already suffered enough because of it all.

Ethan had been furious, more so than Theresa had ever seen him. In fact he had refused to forgive Ivy for a time, and just couldn't believe that his own mother was selfish enough to break up a perfectly happy family. Theresa wasn't sure why that fact continued to be a surprise to him, but kept that opinion to herself and tried to be there for him in whatever way he needed. Most of the time that meant listening while he talked, and assuring him that she'd long ago forgiven him for not believing her about Ivy's part in their own problems in the past.

Otherwise, they'd had it pretty good. Gwen was living in New York like she'd always wanted and had found her own husband. She and Theresa weren't exactly friends, but they had a sort of grudging respect between them, conceding that the other had made a formidable opponent if nothing else.

Rebecca was still huffing and puffing about the injustice leveled on her poor Gwenie, but nobody anywhere really paid her much attention—not even Julian who was married to her or Gwen herself.

Bud had broken his leg once in Little League, Jane was prone to ear infections, and Lily had scared them with an allergic reaction to one of her routine immunizations. Now that Theresa thought of it, she and Ethan led a pretty typical life. And that was just fine with her!

_At least until this morning anyway. _Theresa's thoughts turned back to her brothers as she pulled into her parking space in the garage at Crane. Putting the car in park, she took a minute to pray before going inside.

_Please God. Help my brothers and show us what to do._ And again Theresa had the feeling that every prayer was really going to count this time.


	4. Chapter 3

Last time: Theresa thought back on her marriage after dropping the kids off at school and heading to the office...(Rating: PG13)

Chapter 3

"Here is the mock proposal of the project for rebuilding the housing district that you wanted." Valerie walked into Theresa's office unaware of her boss's quickly souring mood.

"You're late Valerie! I wanted these on my desk by 10:00!" Theresa snapped.

Taken aback, Valerie looked warily at the clock and saw that it read 10:05. "I'm….sorry?" she apologized though she wasn't really sure why. The papers weren't that late.

Following her assistant's eyes to the clock, Theresa realized how short-tempered she was being and turned back with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be meeting Ethan here this morning since we didn't drive together, and I haven't heard from him yet. I guess I'm a little on edge."

"Ahh." Valerie nodded in acceptance of the offered Olive branch. "Would you like me to hold your calls until Mr. Winthrop gets here? Can I get you a cup of tea?" She was trying to offer Theresa a chance to get herself together without crossing that line between employee and boss.

"Thank you Valerie. Please hold all calls for the morning—no matter what. And don't worry about the tea. I can get it myself." Theresa answered, and Valerie left the office.

Letting out a slow breath, Theresa began to pace. _Get a grip Theresa. You practically took that poor girl's head off!_ Her cup of tea forgotten, she let herself wonder what was going on at the police station. How were Luis and Miguel holding up? And Mama? Maybe she should've called her or gone to the station herself instead of coming to work. And the press—they were going to have a field day with this.

10:30. She'd been at the office for an hour and a half, and still hadn't seen or heard from Ethan. Picking up the phone at her desk, she dialed his cell.

_"Hey. This is Ethan. Sorry I missed your call, but if you leave a message and a way for me to get a hold of you, I'll catch ya later."_

Voice Mail. What was taking so long? He knew that she'd be waiting very impatiently and would be doing his best to get back to her right away, that was just his way. Something was wrong. There had to be. Always having been one with an active imagination, Theresa started coming up with every possible reason for her husband's tardiness, plausible or not.

Maybe he'd forgotten his cell phone.

Maybe the battery had died.

Maybe he'd locked his keys in the car. With the cell phone.

Maybe the car broke down on the way to the office.

What if he'd been in an accident? He could be hurt!

No, no no! That couldn't be it! She couldn't stand anymore bad news today!

Just as Theresa was working herself into a frenzy, the man in question walked through the door, and sighing in relief she practically jumped into his arms. "Ethan! I was so worried! What took so long?"

Returning the hug warmly and holding her for an extra minute, Ethan explained. "I'm sorry Baby. It was a zoo at the station! Julian didn't waste any time in getting this story to the press. It seems that since he can't beat you with the will, he's going to take you down some other way. This deal with your brothers…he's going to milk it for all its worth."

Stepping back from Ethan slightly, Theresa looked up at him. "Is it really as bad as it sounds?"

Knowing she deserved nothing less than the truth but hating to have to be the one to give it, Ethan looked her dead in the eyes. "Yeah. I'm afraid it is."

Dropping into one of the chairs, Theresa took a deep breath. "How? And don't try to spare me. I need to know everything."

"Well I'm not sure where to start." Ethan sat next to her and frowned in concentration. "Ummm...OK. You remember that Fancy was raped during a stake out on that Peeping Tom case right after her graduation from the Police Academy." Ethan paused, then continued when Theresa nodded. "Well, it seems like she's been having a really hard time, and has been insisting that the rapist was on the Crane estate…in her bedroom even…and that he raped her again."

"Oh no!" Theresa couldn't imagine the devastation of being raped twice.

Ethan looked sober as well. Fancy was his half sister after all. "Yeah. But before that, Luis had promised to stay with her and protect her if the attacker came back. He said he sat with Fancy until she fell asleep, then fell asleep himself on the couch in her room."

Theresa was looking bewildered. "That sounds just like Luis. Always trying to protect the ones he loves. How exactly did this turn into a rape charge?"

"Apparently…and this is something that can only happen in Harmony…Fancy awoke to find the attacker in her room, and well, you know how that ended. But Luis was nowhere to be found. Crane security launched a search for both the rapist and Luis, and found who they thought to be the attacker knocked out cold in the woods on the estate. Not sure how that happened, but anyway. When they turned the man over, it was Luis."

Ethan paused again, waiting for the reaction he knew was coming.

"What?! Even if they found Luis in the woods…unconscious…wearing the clothes that Fancy said the attacker wore, they can't actually believe that Luis is capable of rape! He's a cop right here in Harmony! Has been for several years!" Looking into Ethan's eyes, Theresa's own became fearful. "There's more isn't there?"

Not bothering with a preamble, Ethan continued. "Sheridan and Chris were able to convince Fancy to go to the hospital to have a rape kit done, and they turned up…DNA that matched Luis one hundred percent."

Theresa fought the urge to laugh that bubbled up from somewhere deep inside her. This was crazy! It had to be a joke.

"And, no Honey. This is not a joke." She'd forgotten how easily Ethan could read her, and even if he hadn't spoken the words, his face would have.

Sighing, Theresa nodded. "I know you'd never joke about this. Just wishful thinking I guess. What's the deal with Miguel?"

With a sigh of his own, Ethan began. "Well, it seems that Miguel shot Fox point blank during an argument over Kay." Theresa's face went blank, like she couldn't quite comprehend the words, and he continued. "According to Fox, he was walking downtown minding his own business when Miguel came up to him, started harassing him about how Kay never would truly love Fox, that she really loved him and that he was going to make sure Fox wasn't a threat to them anymore…and shot him. In fact, Eve says that Fox is a very lucky man; he should be dead.

"Miguel says that he and Fox did argue over Kay, but that it took place at the mansion where he admits he went to confront Fox. But he swears that he never was downtown and he never shot Fox. The witnesses that claim to have seen Miguel, and Fox recovering from a gunshot wound…." Ethan trailed off with a shrug of his shoulders, and this time Theresa did laugh.

"You can't seriously believe that Miguel would walk up to someone in broad daylight and shoot him point blank in front of a bunch of people who could identify him, do you?"

"Of course not!" Ethan sounded almost offended at such a thought. "But unfortunately it doesn't really matter what I believe, it only matters what I can prove. And both of your brothers have a lot of evidence pointing in their direction.

I was able to get them out on bail—just barely. The press is already touting "preferential treatment". I'm not going to lie to you. We've got our work cut out for us. Theresa? Theresa Honey? Did you hear me?"

Yeah, she'd heard him. But right now she couldn't focus on his voice. That strong sense that something was going to go terribly wrong had set in. What was it? Why did she feel like her world was spinning out of control? Like she was on a sinking ship, and she and her life were sliding headlong down the deck to the ocean below? She was so deep in thought that she jumped at the touch of Ethan's hand on her arm.

"Hey. You look like you're on another planet right now. Are you all right?" The question sounded silly even to his own ears. Of course she wasn't all right. Who would be after this kind of news?

"Have you ever had a feeling…almost like a vibe or sixth sense about something?" Theresa looked at him, but it was more like she was looking through him, and Ethan spoke carefully trying to gauge her train of thought.

"Like how? Like when something is good or bad?"

"Yeah." Theresa continued to look at but through him, and Ethan began to feel concern. Something was definitely on her mind, and he wasn't sure he liked what she was implying.

"I think something very bad is about to happen. Whatever it is it's going to change our lives forever." Her voice sounded a little frightened, but sure. She really believed what she was saying.

Clearing his throat, Ethan tried to do his best to reassure her. "I know I said that it was going to be hard going trying to clear your brothers' names, but we've got a lot of ground to cover still. They've got a lot of support. Your mother…wow! I saw her today and appreciated all over again how strong she really is. We've got a lot of power and money behind us to do whatever we have to do. So don't give up hope yet."

"It's more than that." Looking at Ethan now, Theresa tried to put into words what she was feeling. "It doesn't have anything to do with Luis and Miguel. Well it does, but not only with them. It's something bigger. Something I can't put my finger on, but I know."

Closing her eyes trying to dispel the feeling, she was met again with the image of sliding down the deck of a sinking ship, the icy water rushing up to greet her, when suddenly a hand grabbed her. Looking down, she saw that Ethan had taken her tiny hand into his large one and was gently rubbing the back of it with his thumb.

"I don't think we should borrow trouble Theresa, but whatever you think is going to happen, whatever you think is going to change our lives, don't worry about it. We'll handle it like we handle everything now…together. We are not going to drown after everything we've been through to get to this point. I promise."

Theresa smiled her thanks as she leaned toward him, and meeting her halfway, he sealed that promise with a kiss.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 

"Theresa, stop pacing. You're going to be fine."

"What?" The pacing continued as the activity in one of the Crane conference rooms proceeded next door.

"I said, _'stop pacing'_!" Ethan had to chuckle to himself even though there really wasn't anything to laugh about. Pacing had always been her tell tale sign. When she was nervous, distracted, trying to pull a fast one on him—he'd know the minute she started to pace. He'd learned to recognize it from the moment they'd become friends, and found comfort in the fact that some things never change, even in the midst of chaos. Of course Theresa had no idea that he was on to her little habit. That would ruin the fun of watching her eyes narrow in suspicion whenever he caught her out. She knew he had a trick she just didn't know what it was, and he didn't plan to tell her.

"Oh, sorry." Theresa stopped pacing and reached for his hand instead. "I just wish this was over with. You know I hate Press Conferences."

Ethan did know that, but it couldn't be helped. He felt that as CEO of Crane and the sister of the defendants in two high profile cases, it was important for her to give the media another side of the story to chew on. And Theresa was up for anything to help her brothers. In fact she'd agreed without batting even one of her beautiful eyes.

That was just another thing that he loved about his wife. Whoever said "dynamite comes in little packages" must have known Theresa in a past life. She was small, but mighty. When the chips were down she knew her job, stepped up to the plate, and delivered. No questions asked. Raising their clasped hands to his lips to kiss her fingers, he replied, "I know. But it will be over soon and you'll be great. I know it."

Valerie walked into the room. "Mrs. Winthrop? Chief Bennett is wrapping up the Police Department's portion of the presentation, then you're up next." The words were no more out of her mouth when they heard Sam's closing statements.

_"The Harmony Police Department will be conducting a thorough investigation into the charges brought against Officer Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald and Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald without prejudice, as it is our job and wish to see justice prevail in both of these cases. I'll now hand the podium over to Mrs. Theresa Winthrop, CEO of Crane Industries."_

As Sam came toward them standing in the adjoining doorway, his eyes spoke of his grief. Ethan and Theresa knew he didn't believe the accusations against Luis and Miguel anymore than they did. But he had to keep up appearances for the press, so he passed them with only a fleeting glance and took his seat. Looking up into her husband's eyes once more for support, Theresa took a deep breath and took Sam's place at the podium.

The room was full of reporters and photographers. Some worked for reputable news outlets, others for the sleaziest tabloids around. All were hungry for the story. Cameras flashed. Reporters murmured into Dictaphones; Theresa could hear some of the ones in the very front as she took the stage…

"_She is conservatively dressed in a black pant suit…"_

"_Mrs. Crane looks very calm and composed…"_

"…_no apparent reaction to Chief Bennett's remarks…"_

Feeling much like a very small bug under a very large microscope, she took a deep breath and faced the group bravely and calmly.

"Good Morning and thank you for coming. Of course you all know that I am Theresa Winthrop, CEO of Crane Industries, and also the sister of Luis and Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald. As Chief Bennett said earlier, I will not be answering questions today, this is an informational gathering only.

It was with great shock and dismay that I received news of my brothers' arrests yesterday morning. The charges being brought against them are extremely disturbing to me because I know my brothers to be caring men, men that would never kill in cold blood or prey on innocent women. It is my firm conviction that they are innocent of the crimes they are charged with, and they along with my family will be working with the Harmony PD to find the real criminals responsible. Heinous crimes have been leveled on treasured members of the Crane family, and the perpetuators will be brought to justice.

To our stockholders, business associates, and all employees: it is business as usual here at Crane. I will thank you all in advance for your patience and continued trust in Crane Industries during this time. And to the press, thank you again for coming."

As she stepped down from the podium, she was immediately bombarded with questions as if she had never said that she wouldn't be answering any today. Ignoring them, Theresa followed the path set by Crane security away from the commotion of the conference room only to walk into the Lion's den in the back.

"Oh Theresa. How nice of you to mention our children in your little speech. As if you give a damn about anything but wasting my father's money and getting your poor excuses for brothers off the hook." Julian's voice was at the most sarcastic, full of malice.

Beside him, Ivy couldn't hide her contempt. "I can't believe that you got my son mixed up in this mess! Never mind what your brothers have done to Fox and Fancy! And Theresa, you running Crane instead of Fancy and Fox. Will the embarrassment never end? Don't you people have any sense of decency?"

"Mother that's enough." Ethan didn't want to make a scene, but this attack on his in-laws had to end. Unfortunately, Ivy was too upset to stop.

"Ethan how can you defend these monsters against your own flesh and blood?"

"Mother _that's enough_!" Ethan knew his mother was hurting and upset, but he was becoming upset as well. "Yes, Fancy and Fox are my flesh and blood, and they are victims of horrible crimes. And I want the real criminals to pay, don't you ever doubt that!

"But Theresa is my wife." Drawing her into the crook of his arm, Ethan continued. "Theresa is my flesh and blood too. And her brothers didn't do this. I know they couldn't have. And I have to make sure they get the best defense possible. I'm sorry if that upsets you, but I won't have you attacking my wife or her family. Is that clear?"

"But Ethan…" Ivy began only to be interrupted by her son's voice, still gentle, but with an edge of steel.

"I said 'is that clear'?"

Eyes wide with surprise and Ethan's tone, Ivy finally nodded.

"Come on Ivy. We're obviously not wanted here. Let's go see our other children. We know they need us." Julian was not moved, didn't make any secret of it, and he and Ivy left the room, leaving only their disdain behind.

Theresa being his immediate concern, Ethan turned to her right away. "You were great up there Honey. And I'm sorry about my mother. Are you OK?"

"Yeah, I am. Thanks." Theresa hugged Ethan close and closed her eyes, and felt her heart skip a beat. Again she saw the swirling ocean below, the hand still the only thing keeping her from plunging headfirst into it, and she trembled inside. Something else was still wrong. She could feel it. She didn't know if Ethan could feel it too, but didn't complain when she felt his arms tighten around her.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 

Pilar looked around the living room one last time making sure everything was perfect for the arrival of her guests. Then she shook her head sadly and abruptly sat down on the couch. She didn't know why she was fussing so. It wasn't like this was actually a social call or anything.

Looking around, Pilar thought about all the memories that this room held. Some were definitely bad. Like having to sit in this room and explain to her 5 children that they're father had disappeared with out a trace. Or the last argument with Antonio before he too left to find his own way, saying he was never coming back. Pilar had begged, but he had been determined, and that was the last thing she remembered about her son. Word had come a few years later that he had died in a tragic car accident. Again, she'd had to sit on this couch and tell her children that their brother was never coming back. Pilar closed her heart to those memories. They were too painful.

But they had a lot of happy memories in this room too, memories to look back and laugh at. Birthday parties, sleepovers, friends after school. Pillow fights. As she looked around the room, certain things triggered specific memories: there was the slight dent in the wall where Miguel had hit it after doing a cannon ball off the easy chair. If she closed her eyes, she could still see the broken window—broken after Luis kicked a soccer ball through it. How many times had she told him not to play soccer in the house anyway? Opening her eyes and looking into the fireplace she remembered how Theresa and Paloma had fallen asleep in front of it and nearly set themselves and the house afire when the corner of the blanket they were sharing got caught in the flames. Shaking her head, Pilar brought herself back to the present. How in the world had it come to this? Her sons charged with such crimes? She knew that they never would've done these things. Miguel may have hated Fox, but he loved Kay, and would never choose to solve their problems by killing her husband. And Luis…rape his own girlfriend? It would be laughable if it weren't so serious.

Pilar always had taught her family that everything happens for a reason, and that you just needed to have a little faith. Well if truth be told, she was having a hard time heeding her own advice. With the evidence mounting against her sons, Pilar wasn't sure even Ethan could get them off.

_"Mom?"_

_"Abuela?"_

How did he do that? Ethan always seemed to be right around the corner when you needed him, not just for her daughter, but for the whole family as well. The day he and Theresa had married, he truly became her son. Shaking off the last vestiges of melancholy, Pilar headed to the hallway off the garage and greeted her grandchildren and son-in-law where they were already taking off their coats.

"Hello my precious angels!" Pilar bent to receive hugs and kisses from Bud, Jane, and Lily. Looking at her growing grandson she laughed as he sniffed the air. "Yes, those are your favorite chocolate chip cookies. There's a whole plate in the kitchen, and probably some milk too." And with that, all three were off.

She turned back to Ethan than, who kissed her on the cheek. "Hi, Mom. How are you holding up?"

"As well as can be expected I guess. Oh…where's Theresa?" Pilar had just noticed that she hadn't come in with her family.

Looking over his shoulder Ethan replied, "Sheridan pulled up just as we were getting out of the car, so she's waiting for her."

At Sheridan's name, Pilar frowned slightly. "Oh. Why is Sheridan here and not Fancy?"

"I think Sheridan said something about Luis needing a friend so was insistent on being here tonight. Fancy, well I know she wants to be there for Luis and help him beat this, but having her here while we discuss his case would be a bad idea."

"Hi Mama." Theresa walked in just then with Sheridan on her heels.

"Hi Baby. Sheridan."

All the commotion had brought Miguel and Luis into the room now as well, and Miguel than Luis greeted their sister with a hug for his sister and nods to Sheridan, who immediately grabbed Luis's arm, sympathy oozing from her pores.

Pilar's eyes narrowed in suspicion. Was it just her or was Sheirdan just a tad too sympathetic? She was much too concerned for a married woman.

"Well, Ethan are you ready?" Luis was obviously anxious to get the meeting under way. "We got to figure out how to prove we're innocent. Miguel and I can not spend the rest of our lives in jail. I mean Miguel has Maria to think about, and I'm not going to lose Fancy."

Watching Sheridan, Pilar saw it—just a flash of anger at the mention of Fancy's name. There was something not right about this, but no one else seemed to notice, so she dismissed it for the time being. "Why don't you all head into the living room? There's coffee in there for you already, and I'll keep an eye on the kids." She said

Ethan, Sheridan, Luis, and Miguel filed away, but Theresa hung back. "I'll stay with you Mama. Ethan will fill me in later. How are you doing? And where's Paloma?" Theresa followed her mother into the kitchen where her own three children were making quick work of the cookies.

"Oh, Paloma's working the night shift at the station, and well how does one deal with something like this?" Pilar was mindful of her words. She didn't want the kids to hear. Sensing that, Theresa turned to her son.

"Honey, why don't you take the girls down to the basement and play with the toys and things down there?" Rolling his eyes, it was obvious that Bud knew the game is mother was trying to play, but he did as he was told and soon it was just Theresa and Pilar in the kitchen. Pouring coffee for the both of them, Pilar sat across from her daughter at the table.

"So…how much do the kids know?" she asked.

Theresa sighed. "Ethan and I told them that their uncles were being accused of some very bad things, and that the kids at school might be talking about it, but that Ethan was doing his best to prove that they didn't do the things people are saying they are. I didn't know what to say Mama. I just hope that it isn't too hard for them at school. I'm not sure I could take my kids getting picked on on top over everything else."

Reaching for her daughter's hand, Pilar held it for a minute before speaking. "That is exactly how I feel about Luis and Miguel. A mother's heart will always bleed for her children and she will always want to defend them no matter how old they are."

"I appreciate what you did for us so much more Mama." Theresa's voice was full of emotion. "Even when others would've and you probably should have, you never gave up on us. If I can even give half of what you gave to us to my children, I'll be a success." As her eyes filled with tears, Pilar became concerned.

"What is it Mija? You seem worried. Nothing else is wrong is there?"

Theresa debated telling her mother about how she'd been feeling lately. About feeling like her life was about to sink from under her. It wasn't an overwhelming feeling, just the nagging kind that got on your nerves. Like a pebble in your shoe, or an itch that demanded to be scratched, but you couldn't reach. What would she say anyway? "Mom, I think something bad is going to happen? "I think our lives are going to be changed forever?" No, she couldn't do that. It would only upset her mother and she needed to focus her whole attention on her brothers. Nothing was more important than that.

Theresa shook off her tears and trying to erase any sign of anxiety that might be showing through. "It's nothing Mama. I'm just a little emotional these days."

In the living room, Ethan was rubbing the back of his neck in frustration. Going over both cases again with Luis and Miguel was proving futile.

"OK Luis. You say that the last thing you remember is falling asleep on the couch in Fancy's room after she went to sleep. You say you both had a couple glasses of wine before turning in." Luis nodded so Ethan continued reading back Luis's own words for clarification. "Then the next thing you remember is waking up in the woods on the estate with everyone looking at you in shock."

"I swear Ethan. That's all I remember!" Luis was becoming more and more frustrated, and again Sheridan was quick to offer a comforting hand.

"It's OK Luis. Ethan is doing everything he can to help you beat this."

Luis shook her hand off and began to pace around the room and Ethan observed absently to himself that it must be a family trait.

"I just feel so helpless. I have to clear my name and Miguel's too. That's why I'm going to talk to Sam tomorrow and see if he'll let me back on and unofficial basis to help with the investigation…" Luis stopped abruptly as Ethan cut in.

"Absolutely not!" Ethan empathized with Luis's position, but it was a bad idea and he meant to have his way on this. "You will not be involved in any police investigation regarding this case Luis. We're already pushing it with my working on both yours and Miguel's cases while my father is the Chief of Police. Never mind the fact that one of your sisters is an officer with the department while I'm married to the other. Who happens to run Crane Industries no less. We are doing everything by the book! We aren't going to give Julian or the press any reason to think we've tampered with evidence or gotten you preferential treatment." Once Luis had grudgingly acknowledged that Ethan was probably right, the focus switched to Miguel.

Miguel shifted restlessly in his chair. "I didn't shoot Fox. He's setting me up because he knew Kay was getting ready to call off their wedding to be with me. Plus he knows Kay still loves me."

"Miguel, I cannot take that to a jury. I mean I could, but any decent lawyer—they don't even have to be good—is going to eat that for their midday snack!" Ethan was becoming just as frustrated as the others were.

Shrugging his shoulders, Miguel gave Ethan a look. "I don't know what you want me to say. I'm being set up too."

"OK. OK." Ethan knew it was time to call it a night. "I'll take what you've told me and try to work with that. We've got the best investigators on this, hopefully they'll turn something up."

Sheridan stood up and went to Luis's side where he'd stopped to lean against the mantle, and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Don't worry. We all know you're innocent. And Ethan is going to prove it."

Chris sat in a chair in his and Sheridan's living room and tried to read a book, but threw it aside after only a few minutes. Sheridan had gone "out" and still wasn't home yet. His eyes narrowed as he wondered where she was, then spit fire as he realized he already knew.

She was with Luis where she always was. If she was had to choose between anything and Luis lately, she always chose her darling Luis. Luis. Always Luis. Curling his hand into a fist, bile rose into his throat and anger filled his heart.

Driving home from Pilar's house, Ethan looked in the rear view mirror of the family's Escalade and saw that all three of the kids were fast asleep. Looking at the clock he realized it was later than they had planned and thought it was a good thing that tomorrow was Saturday and they could sleep in. Glancing over to Theresa in the passenger's seat, he thought she seemed tense. He reached for her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers. "Theresa? Honey? You OK?"

"Oh yeah. I fine." Theresa tried to smile convincingly. She wasn't really. All the way home she'd been watching a pair of headlights that seemed to be following them. Just then, they fell back and made a right hand turn onto another street, and she breathed a sigh of relief. This whole feeling of doom was really making her jumpy. Turning back to her husband she squeezed his hand and smiled a genuine smile this time. "I'm just fine."

Pulling into the driveway, he hoped his car wasn't making too much noise and that the trees were hiding his headlights from the family that was just getting in. Stopping in the shadow of the last cluster of trees, he watched as the living room light turned on and the people inside were seen clearly.

That older woman must've been the housekeeper or nanny or something. She took the baby after the mother kissed her goodnight. The other daughter and son took turns hugging their parents and also left the room. Alone in front of the window, the couple talked for a moment and disappeared as well.

Feeling sure that no one would see him approach, the driver pulled up to the door and slowly got out. He wasn't sure why he was here. It had been a long time, and it hadn't ended on good terms. Walking up the stairs of the porch he tried to calm his pounding heart. He had no explanation to give for what had happened, and he knew she might slam the door in his face, but he had to see her. He only hoped his showing up now didn't go as badly as he feared it might.


	7. Chapter 6

Last time: Ethan went of Luis and Miguel's cases with them at Pilar's house and Theresa grew apprehensive at a pair of headlights seeming to follow them homw, and indeed a mysterious stranger did pull into their driveway...

Chapter 6

Theresa curled up into the window seat in the family room and yawned. This window seat had been one of the main selling points for her when they looked at this house. The way it afforded almost a panoramic view of the woods; one could get lost in their imagination and almost forget that they were inside and not out. It had become her favorite place to come and think, forget about the day, or to still get lost in the view.

"You look tired." Ethan sat beside her and handed her a glass of wine. Leaning back against one of the many pillows, he sipped from his own glass and draped one arm over Theresa's knee.

Massaging Ethan's hand and arm, Theresa cocked her head to one side. "No more than you do. How'd it go with Miguel and Luis tonight? I'm guessing not too well…" She trailed off as Ethan let his head fall back and his eyes close.

"Just be glad that we're not going to trial tomorrow. I couldn't get them off with what I have right now. I'm sorry Baby."

Theresa bit the inside of her lip and tried not to show her panic. "Well what exactly did they say?" If Ethan was concerned that wasn't a good sign.

"Well, Luis can't remember anything between falling asleep in Fancy's room and waking up outside in the attacker's clothes. And all Miguel has is 'I didn't shoot Fox, he's setting me up because Kay almost decided to marry me.' Hmmmm…"

"What? Did you think of something?" Theresa asked.

"Well, I didn't ask Miguel about Kay nearly calling off her and Fox's wedding. I don't remember hearing anything about that. Do you know anything."

Theresa nodded thoughtfully. "I think I remember Mama saying something about it. When Miguel came home last year, he had decided that he'd spent enough time wandering around looking for Charity when she obviously didn't want to be found, and that Maria needed her father at home. In spending more time with Maria, he saw Kay more and more and fell in love with her.

"He said that Kay told him that she still loved him too, and had been ready to tell Fox the wedding was off when she happened upon an email left in the living room. She said that it was from Miguel to Charity, saying how much he still loved her and that he still wanted to be with her and have a family."

Ethan's face showed that his mind was racing to find something to use to help Miguel. "OK. What happened after that? Anything?"

"Ummm. Well, of course Miguel denied it, and I think that she almost called off the wedding again, but then she overheard a phone conversation between Miguel and Charity. Basic contents the same as the email. That was the last straw, and she married Fox. Miguel of course denies everything."

"OK. That would explain why Miguel is saying Fox set him up. He thinks Fox knows about him and Kay and is trying to keep her for himself. Wait a minute. Why didn't you tell me this before?" Ethan looked at his wife quizzically.

"Mama didn't tell me about it until a couple weeks ago when I asked why Miguel was so sad and preoccupied. I guess I forgot what with the wedding being awhile ago. And you and I haven't talked about the details of the cases much, we've been so busy with damage control." Theresa finished her wine and handed her glass to Ethan with an innocent bat of her eyelashes. "More please."

Ethan's face took on a knowing look. "Oh no. No. Don't do that!" Theresa's eyes were his weakness, a weakness she knew how to take full advantage of. "You know I haven't learned how to resist those yet."

"Resist what?" Another innocent blink. "Pleeeaasseee…?" Blink, blink.

Ethan's look turned warm as he placed both glasses on the coffee table. He leaned toward her slowly.

"And why," he kissed her forehead.

"Should I," Kiss on her nose.

"Give you what you want?" Kiss on her chin.

Laughing, Theresa turned the innocent act up a notch and pretended to be deep in thought, running the tip of her tongue along her lower lip. Another move he had yet to find a defense against. "Ummm, because I'm your darling wife and you love me?"

A kiss on the corner of her mouth and his arms went around her, pushing her back into the pillows. "Yes, I most certainly do." He said; finally kissing her lips…just as the doorbell rang.

"Are you kidding me?" Ethan asked in frustration.

Theresa kissed his jaw and sat up with a laugh. "I'll get it and send whoever it is away as fast as I can. You just pour that wine."

"Fine." He reached for the wine bottle. But you better hurry…." He added with a wink.

Still smiling, Theresa rushed to get the door, and hoped it was something simple. She definitely didn't want to keep that handsome husband of her's waiting.

Standing outside, he debated turning and running for his life before she could answer the door.

Again.

This was the third time he'd been on this porch, but he'd chicken out the first two times. She looked well. She was married—happily if his observation of the two of them earlier was any indication, and she had a flourishing family. Remembering the many newspaper articles he'd read, and looking around at the surroundings once again, he knew she was doing very well financially also.

Maybe he should just leave. Let bye gone's be bye gone's. He'd only wreck her life now anyway. Before he could decide, the door opened. It was she, and she was beautiful.

"Yes, can I help…. Oh…my…no this can't be!" The face was worn as if it had lived a hard life. The hair was gray now, but she would've recognized the eyes anywhere. It just couldn't be.

"Yes baby doll. It's me."

At the use of the old pet name, Theresa turned white. "You are not here! You cannot be standing in front of me!"

"Theresa? Who's at the door? Oh, hello." Ethan walked up behind his wife. Looking at her pale features, and the tense stance of the gentleman standing on their porch, he frowned slightly. "Not to be rude sir, but who are you?"

Swallowing hard, he turned from Theresa and looked Ethan straight in the eyes.

"I'm Martin Fitzgerald. Theresa's father."


	8. Chapter 7

Last time: The mysterious stranger on Ethan and Theresa's front porch was revealed to be Theresa's father,Martin Fitzgerald...

Chapter 7

Ethan's mouth hung open for just a second before he realized how rude that would look. Theresa's father? Theresa's father was the man standing on their front porch?

Thinking back Ethan tried to remember what he knew about the man, and he realized that he really didn't know anything. He knew that Martin Fitzgearld had left town with Katherine Crane, without warning and without a trace when Theresa was a child, but that was all. And it was a matter of public knowledge as far as he knew. Everyone knew that Alistair had taken especial pleasure in torturing the Lopez-Fitzgearlds because of it.

In fact, Ethan thought back further, he didn't remember Theresa ever talking about her dad. If someone asked, she told him or her the bare facts. No more, no less; no pity, no sympathy needed. It was a fact of her life. That was all. Ethan had never seen a picture of Martin come to think of it.

He looked down at Theresa. Her face was still white as a sheet, and she looked like she was seeing a ghost. "Is this true Theresa? Is this man your father?" He watched her reaction carefully. Nodding slowly, she answered with only one word.

"Yes."

It was apparent that shock had set in, as Theresa just stood there looking at her father without saying another word. Just stood there looking up at him with…with what? She didn't look happy. She didn't look sad. She didn't look angry. She just looked like she was in a trance, like maybe she thought she was dreaming. And dreaming a dream she wasn't sure how to feel about just yet.

Martin shifted his weight nervously, and then turned to leave. "I should go. This was a bad idea, I'm sorry to ruin your evening."

"Mr. Fitzgerald, wait." Ethan spoke now. Theresa still looked to be incapable of speech. "Why don't you come in."

Turning back toward the open door, Martin looked at his daughter. Did she want him to come in too?

Sensing that was what his father-in-law was waiting for Ethan nudged Theresa slightly. "Honey, I think we should invite you dad in. Don't you?" Again she answered with only one word, but this time automatically. Like she was doing or saying what she had been programmed to say.

"Yes."

It wasn't the reaction he had hoped for, but it wasn't as bad as he'd expected. Accepting it for what it was, Martin turned and walked slowly into the house. "Thank you."

As her father walked into their front hallway, Theresa only had one thought.

_This is not happening._

Her father couldn't possibly be standing inside her house. Somewhere, she heard Ethan asking Mrs. Patterson for some refreshment for their guest, but she couldn't really focus on that. Where had Mrs. Patterson come from anyway? She heard Ethan saying something about going into the living room, and followed both men walking in that direction, but she didn't think she'd actually made a conscious effort to do so.

_This is not happening._

Theresa felt like she was having an out of body experience. Like somewhere above herself, she was telling herself what to do.

_Sit next to Ethan on the couch._

_Thank Mrs. Patterson for the coffee._

_Stop sitting here like a stone and say something!_

She couldn't force her mouth to form words right then, so she tried to listen instead. Ethan saying something about it being a big surprise to meet him after all this time and Martin saying all the time passed was his regret…

Why was he here? Theresa had dreamed of this moment when she was a little girl, then threw it away and grown to hate her father as a teen. As an adult, she rarely thought of him at all. She wasn't even sure if she hated him anymore. She didn't think she loved him though either. She didn't feel anything about him. Did she?

_If you don't have any feeling at all toward him, why do you want to reach across the table and shake him? Why do you want to yell at him all the things he put you through when he left?_

_Stop it Theresa._ She scolded herself. _He's your father. He deserves something from you._ Trying hard to focus on the conversation, she heard Martin detailing his travels, and all the sights he had seen around the world over the years and felt anger rise up in her.

_See? What did I tell you?_

_OK, OK. So maybe I am angry. Mama barely had enough money to keep food on the table. We only went out of Harmony one time and really couldn't even afford that. And he's been traipsing around the world!_

_But still, he's my dad. I can't hate him._

_Are you sure about that?_

Bringing her thoughts back to what was happening, she didn't hear any more talking. Breaking free of her reverie, she saw the room clearly. Her husband and her father were obviously at a loss for what to talk about next, and Martin's eyes rested on her intently.

"You've done real good for yourself, Baby doll. It does my heart good to see you so happy."

"Thank you." It was the only thing she could think to say.

Martin stood abruptly then. "I better go. It's late, and I've taken enough of your time already."

"I'll walk you to the door." Ethan stood with him, and Theresa followed suit.

As Martin put on his coat, Theresa finally asked a question. "Why are you here?"

Martin paused with his hand on the doorknob. "I saw your brothers being arrested on the news. I saw your press conference saying they were innocent. I couldn't stay away any longer."

So that was why. He'd come back to town for her brothers. Well, why did he bother to stop and see her first? She knew that no one else knew he was here.

"I stopped to see you first because I didn't know how the others would react to seeing me, and they have so much on their minds already." Martin must've been reading her mind.

Her brothers had too much on their minds? And she didn't apparently.

_Don't be so selfish Theresa._ Theresa had really been trying to work on that since she'd been given a second chance at life. _You aren't the one facing prison time. Of course they have a lot on their minds now._

When Theresa didn't acknowledge his response in any way, Martin turned to leave and Ethan again spoke up. "Sorry you didn't get to meet the kids. Maybe next time?"

_Next time?_ Theresa frowned inside. Would there be a next time? How did one introduce their children to their own grandfather anyway? Not wanting to acknowledge how she was feeling about that, she pushed those feelings away and heard her father accept Ethan's invitation.

"Next time." He said, his voice carrying a tear of…what was that? Gratitude?

Ethan and Theresa watched him drive away, then shut the door against the cold. Ethan waited all of 10 seconds before he asked if she was OK.

Clearing her head and nodding she said "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" She headed into the living room to turn out the lights and clean up the coffee cups, and Ethan followed.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because your long lost father just showed up on our front porch?"

Shrugging her shoulders as she walked past him back to the kitchen, Theresa hoped she sounded convincing. "It's fine. I'm fine. Really. Just a little shocked that's all."

Warning bells were starting to ring in Ethan's head as he looked at her. Theresa was a lot of things, but calm wasn't one of them. Everything was a big deal. All her emotions were larger than life. She was passionate; passionately happy, passionately sad, passionately angry. It was another one of the many things he loved about her. And he would've expected any one of those emotions in regards to her father showing up tonight. But not this. His look must have given him away, because Theresa took his hands and kissed his cheek.

"I'm fine darling. Really. My dad is back in town and that's good. Luis and Miguel need all the support they can get."

Obviously, she wasn't going to say anymore, so he was forced to take her words at face value. "OK then. If you're sure."

"I am. Now…where were we before the doorbell rang?"

Her eyes took on their usual mischievous twinkle, and any concerns he'd had before flew out of his head. Grabbing her hand Ethan quickly headed for the stairs.

Giggling behind him, Theresa tried to push away that all too familiar feeling she'd been having of late, but she couldn't quite manage. She still saw the sinking ship, and the hand holding her out of the water, and the water seemed to be as close as ever.


	9. Chapter 8

Last time: Theresa struggled with her conflicting emotions about her father's sudden apperance...

Chapter 8

Without opening her eyes, Theresa knew that it was morning. It wasn't sunlight on her eyelids, but enough light to know that it was early. Thank goodness it was Saturday. That meant her normally busy family would be sleeping in. Burrowing deeper into the covers, she snuggled closer to her husband, laying her head on his chest. Ethan draped his arm across her pillow as she did so, almost as if even in his sleep he knew she needed a hug.

Wasn't that the truth? She was still having a hard time believing that her father had actually shown up on her porch last night. That he had actually sat and drank coffee with and talked to her and Ethan. Was there any chance that it had been a dream? No. Her emotions were too raw for that. Besides, she hadn't dreamed of her father in years.

She wasn't even sure how she felt about all of this yet. Not being willing to deal with everything last night, she'd pushed all of her feeling into a little box in her heart and locked it tight. Now, in the early light of day with her eyes closed in the quiet, she slowly unlocked the box, and carefully let each emotion out for examination.

First there was _Shock_. Need anymore be said? The man had disappeared from her life when she was eight years old, never to be seen or heard from again. Never in a million years would it have occurred to her that he would show up now that she was an adult with her own children. Putting Shock to the side, Theresa looked at the next feeling to come out of the box.

_Confusion_. She had no idea what was appropriate to feel, or even what she did feel. On one hand, the man was her father and she still loved him somewhere deep in her heart. Didn't she? On the other hand, he had left her and her family without even an insult to throw over his shoulder. She hated him for that. Right? Yet on the other hand, she hadn't thought of or felt anything about him in years. He simply didn't exist in her life. So his coming home really shouldn't effect her one way or the other, should it?

_Did I just give myself three hands? Must be a testament to how confused I am_, Theresa thought and put Confusion to the side as well.

As _Anger _followed Confusion out of the box, Theresa wondered if she wasn't so confused after all. It was the ugliest of the emotions so far; the one she was trying the hardest to deny. Was she angry with her father?

_Yes!_

Was she angry that he had left her mother to raise five kids alone on a housekeeper's salary? Was she angry that the troubles had made Antonio leave, and made Luis give up his dreams of college to help run a family?

_Yes! Yes!_

Was she angry that he had left them to be abused by Alistair…intent on making them pay for their father's sin?

_YES!_

Was she angry that as children, he had given a lot of attention to Luis and Antonio, and usually only had an "Of course you can Baby doll" for her?

_Ooops. Where had that come from?_ And no sooner had the thought surfaced than Theresa shoved it back into the box, slammed the lid, and quickly turned the key to lock it. That one was never supposed to get out.

Besides, she was wrong. Papa had loved them all equally. She was wrong to even give birth to that thought.

Restless now, Theresa buried the little box back deep in her heart, and carefully rolled away from Ethan. She didn't want to think about her father right now. Though she would have to call Mama and let her know he was back as soon as the hour was reasonable enough. If she hadn't been so caught up in trying to prove to her husband she wasn't effected by her dad's sudden appearance, she'd have called her last night. Reaching for the remote, she turned on the TV, making sure to turn on the closed captioning so she wouldn't wake Ethan with the volume. Maybe something on there would distract her.

Or not.

Looking at the screen, her mouth fell open as she read the words that accompanied the picture…

_"This just in. We have it from an anonymous source close to the Crane family of Harmony, that Katherine Crane, the wife of the late Alistair Crane who was thought to be dead, came home to Harmony last night. It has not been confirmed, but it is thought that Martin Fitzgerald, the father of Luis and Miguel Lopez-Fitzgearld who are charged with crimes against members of the Crane family, has accompanied her…."_

Too late.

Chris laid on his side watching his sleeping wife, and thought back on the events of last night. Sheridan had gotten in late, and when was demanded of where she had been, was quite open.

_"With Luis."_

Chris had tuned out everything she'd said after that. He didn't care if she had run into Luis by accident in a crowded bus station. The fact that she had been with him incensed Chris. In the middle of arguing with her about it, the phone had rang. On the other end it was Julian, beside himself, rambling on about Sheridan "needing to get up to the house to see mother." Sheridan and Chris had left James with the nanny and gone up to the mansion, more to check on Julian who Sheridan thought was going crazy.

When Sheridan had seen her mother, she'd practically fainted before she hugged her. Then the first thing out of her mouth had been "Mother, how could you take Martin away from his family? Do you realize the pain you've caused Luis?"

Jealousy had raged in Chris's heart at that. And it continued to now as he listened to his wife murmur "Luis, please don't hate her…Luis…Luis…" Laying back Chris tried to calm himself with this thought.

_At least he's going to jail for the rest of his life. There's no way he'll get out of this._

"Oh my….no….it can't be….Luis! Paloma! Miguel! Come quickly!" Pilar was staring at the television screen. What was being said couldn't possibly be true.

"What's going on Mama? What's wrong?" Miguel and Luis were close on Paloma's heels. Following their mother's gaze to the news report, they all fell silent then their mouths dropped open.

"Is this possible?" Miguel wondered? Luis looked as if he had turned to stone, and Paloma's eyes were round.

Papa was home?


	10. Chapter 9

Last time: Theresa continued to struggle with her emotions over Martin and the fallout from his sudden reappearance began...

Chapter 9

_I have to call Mama. Maybe I can catch her before she sees the news._

_Ring.Ring._ Pilar's phone number popped up on the caller ID.

Too late. Again.

Theresa picked up the phone before it could ring again and fully wake Ethan who was starting to stir.

"Hello?"

_"Thereasita! Oh my goodness! You have to turn on the news! Quickly! You will never believe it!"_

"I already know."

_"So you already saw the news and know that your father is home?"_ Pilar was so flustered she was mixing her English and Spanish together.

"Papa came to the house last night, Mama. He stopped to see me and Ethan." Theresa braced herself for her mother's reaction.

_"You saw him already? Miha! How could you not tell us right away? Why didn't you call us?"_ Pilar was angry and hurt. _"Why!"_

In the background, Luis could be heard yelling, _"Theresa knew about this?"_ Boy was she in trouble.

"Well, it was such a shock Mama! I mean, the doorbell rang and of course the last person I expected was Papa, and Ethan had to take over I just stood there like an idiot and then it all went by in a blur…I was just so surprised. Then he left and Ethan and I got to…"in her haste to explain Theresa nearly forgot whom she was talking to. She couldn't tell her mom what she and Ethan had really been doing.

"…We got to talking about everything and it got late…" Rambling to a stop, Theresa decided to just apologize. "I'm sorry. I was going to call you as soon the hour was reasonable this morning, but you beat me to it. I really wasn't trying to hide anything from you."

Pilar must've sensed that her daughter was sincere and spoke more calmly. _"I'm sorry. I don't mean to yell. It's just such a shock to all of us. I mean, what could bring your father back after all this time? Katherine too for that matter?"_

Theresa tried to hide her hurt as she answered. "He said he came back because of Luis and Miguel. He couldn't stay away after seeing what was going on with them." She guessed it was too much to ask that he come back because he wanted his family back. Because he thought his daughters might need him.

_"Oh."_

Theresa frowned. "_Oh"?_ That was all Mama had to say? She had hoped for this day. She'd lit a candle every night since the day he left praying for his safe return. She never even gave another man a second look in all of Theresa's life because she was waiting for Martin Fitzgerald. And all she was saying was_ "Oh"?_ No lecture on the power of prayer, or perseverance of faith? No tears of joy and thanksgiving for the return of her husband?

"What are you going to do Mama?"

Theresa waited for her mother to answer, and felt the indecision in Pilar's mind. _"I don't know Miha. I guess I'll wait for him to come to me. He's the one who left. He needs to come back on his own as well."_

Luis snorted in disgust. He must have picked up one of the extensions, and the full effect of his anger could be heard. _"You can do what you want. But he left us to fend for ourselves against the devil himself, and I'm going to know the reason why! And by the way" _his voice cut sarcastically over the phone line. _"Nice of you to warn us Sis!"_

_Click._ Theresa winced at the sound of Luis slamming the phone done in her ear.

_"Don't listen to your brother sweetie. He's just angry with your father."_ Pilar tired to make Theresa feel better.

"Maybe he's right to be mad. I probably would be too if I were him. I should've called no matter what the time was…I just didn't think." It sounded like an excuse even as she said it, and Theresa wondered if her mother could see through it. She just couldn't admit that she had wanted to forget that her father had come back. Couldn't admit that she was trying to prove that he didn't have an effect on her anymore. Couldn't admit that she still needed his validation of her worth now as much as she did when she was a little girl.

If she suspected a problem, Pilar didn't let on. _"It's OK darling. I'm not mad. Just anxious to see what your father will do next. I know you all haven't eaten yet."_ She changed the subject on Theresa quickly. _"Bring the family over for a late breakfast."_

Glad that at least Pilar wasn't angry with her, Theresa agreed just as Lily walked sleepily into their bedroom looking for her. "Ethan and I will come as soon as we drop the kids off with Sam. He's taking a break from the case to spend time with them today..."

"Yesterday, we were very fortunate to witness the miracle of having my mother return to us after so many years." Julian addressed the staff in one of the great rooms of the mansion. "Imagine my surprise this morning" he continued "when I turned on the news and found that this miracle was the top news story on every network."

Sitting next to her son, Katherine hoped he wouldn't be too harsh. She didn't want to make any trouble for these people who had worked for her family, and quite possibly the cruelest man to ever live, so faithfully. But Julian had been convinced and would not change his plan.

"Now, I know that _I_ did not alert the media, and _Mother_ most certainly didn't. So I can only conclude that we have a mole amongst us. Someone who has forgotten that guarding the privacy of this family is one of your duties. Let me make a few things clear. First, you are never to speak with any members of the press or anyone else about the personal lives of the members of this family. And secondly, I am putting you all on notice that termination of your services will be immediate if you are found to be violating this order. No questions asked. That is all." Julian dismissed the staff with a wave of his hand. As the filed out of the room he turned to Katherine.

"I have to go to the hospital with Ivy. Fox is coming home today you know. Are you going to be all right?"

"Of course. Just bring my grandson home to me." Katherine smiled. As Julian left, she thought about what a mess everything was. Her grandchildren on one side and Martin's children on the other. She knew that Luis and Miguel were innocent; Martin's sons could never do the things they were accused of. But still her grandchildren had been seriously hurt and Julian would expect only one hundred percent loyalty from her. She hoped it didn't come down to choosing sides. Because she didn't know who she'd chose if it did.

Walking into the hospital, Jessica couldn't believe how many members of the press were already there waiting for the first pictures of Fox's release. How did these reporters get wind of it anyway? She felt a little sorry for Kay. What had she gotten herself into when she married Fox?

Since finally being free of Spike when he went to jail, Jessica had been getting her life back together; volunteering at the hospital had become one of her favorite things to do. She'd come early to wish Fox and Kay good luck before her shift started. Walking up to Fox's room, she was surprised to only see Julian. Turning the knob to go into the room, she wondered where Kay was, or even Ivy, but then was struck by something she heard Julian say.

"_It's all going according to your plan son. But I think you need to put one more nail in Miguel's coffin."_

"_Like what?"_ _Fox asked._

"_Well, so far the case is strong, but only circumstantial. I think we need to give them something tangible to work with, and then Miguel will really be out of yours and Kay's lives forever."_

_Fox's eyes took on a wicked gleam. "Like the weapon used in my shooting…maybe? I think you might be right father."_

_As Julian chuckled he added,_ _"Exactly. We'll stick it to Miguel, and I think I've come up with a plan to stick it to Theresa as well. Not even Ethan will be able to get her out of this."_

Trembling, Jessica stepped quietly away from the door and hurried to the lounge. Making sure she was alone, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed home.

"Dad! You'll never believe what I have to tell you!" 


	11. Chapter 10

Last time: The fallout from Martin and Katherine continued, and Jessica overheard a conversation between Fox and Julian that shocked her...

Chapter 10

Martin had a sense of déjà vu as he walked up the front walk, knocked on the door, and waited for it to open. Like before, the door opened while he was deciding whether to run for his life or not. Again the door was opened by one of his children. But this time, he looked into the eyes of a man. His son all grown up.

"Papa. What? Did you see the news and figure that you couldn't hide anymore?"

Luis was angry and made no secret of it, even though he kept his voice low, and Martin looked ashamed.

"Luis, it wasn't like that. I was always going to come and see you all. I was just afraid that with everything that you had been through already the last couple days…I just didn't want to complicate things."

Luis was not moved. "Whatever. You should be glad that Mama is home. She's the only reason I opened this door to you." Luis didn't invite him in. He simply stepped aside to allow his father to come in.

"Mama!"

Martin waited tensely in the entry as Luis called for Pilar. What would she say after all this time? How would she look? Would she throw him out the minute she saw him? He wouldn't blame her if she did.

"What is it Mijo?" Pilar came from the kitchen and stopped short. "Martin."

Her voice held no surprise, but neither did it speak of anything else. Looking at her, Martin was struck at how pretty she still was. You couldn't tell how hard her life had been since he left. He hadn't been in contact with his family at all, but he knew it would've been hard raising five children on the housekeeper's salary she'd been making. He read the papers; he knew Alistair took special pleasure in making their lives miserable.

The only difference he saw was in her eyes. In her eyes he could see the hardship, worry, and all that had been endured. They were tired. They didn't have the sparkle, the same sparkle that Theresa's had inherited. They looked old beyond her years, and again Martin had to bow his head. He had done this to her. He had broken her spirit.

Pilar had prayed for the day when Martin would come home to her. She had devoted her life to his moment. She had shed tears, she had harbored hope, and she had sometimes cursed his name. She had at times tried to picture what it would be like. How she would feel. And this wasn't it. She felt oddly empty. She didn't feel like crying, or throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him, or shouting with joy from the rooftops. She didn't even feel hate or anger, or any of the other things she thought she'd feel right now. He was still handsome. The graying hair, the new lines in his face…aging was definitely agreeing with him. Looking into an older version of the face that had always turned her inside out, Pilar searched for the old feelings. She couldn't find them. Not allowing herself to fully take note of this, she motioned toward the living room. "Come in. Have a seat."

As Martin walked into the living room, he saw that Miguel, Paloma and Theresa and Ethan as well had followed their mother out of the kitchen, and stood waiting expectantly.

"Hello." It sounded so inadequate, but Martin's mouth had suddenly gone dry and he couldn't form anymore words.

"Papa." Miguel held out his hand and Martin reached to shake it. Another son all grown up. It was obvious shaking his hand was more a matter of being polite than a welcoming gesture on Miguel's part, but Martin felt thankful it wasn't a slap in the face.

Meeting the Paloma's eyes, Martin felt his heart squeeze. She wasn't a baby anymore. She was as beautiful as her mother and sister. She only had a faint smile for him—again more to be polite than anything—and he wondered anew if he'd been better off just staying away. They had done just fine without him it seemed, and would continue to do so. All he was doing was disrupting things.

Everyone took their seats and an uncomfortable silence ensued. Looking around the room and feeling the most uncomfortable of all, Martin said the first thing that came to his mind.

"Just like I remembered it."

"Well, we barely had money to keep up with the repairs, so remodeling was out of the question."

"Luis" Pilar's voice had a soft note of warning, but Luis would not be silenced.

"No, Mama! Those are the cold hard facts and he ought to know 'em. I'm not going to sugar coat this for him because it sure wasn't a bowl of cherries for us after he left!"

Martin softly broke in now. "I know I left you in a horrible position, made your lives harder than they had to be. And I'm more sorry than you'll ever know."

Pilar, Miguel, Paloma, and Theresa said nothing at this, but Martin guessed that Luis spoke for them all.

"You're sorry? _You're sorry?_ OK. If you're so sorry, where have you been all this time? Why didn't you ever call or write or send money? Why did you leave in the first place?"

Martin didn't know where to begin, or how to make them understand, but he had to try to explain. He owed them that much.

"You know your mother and I were working at the mansion at the time. I mostly did grounds keeping, but sometimes helped with maintenance stuff inside the house." Martin stopped, trying to figure out the best way to continue.

"Katherine used to love to sit out in the garden, and was friendly with all the workers including myself. She'd ask about our families and talk about Julian and Sheridan, and always thanked us for our work, so we got to be pretty comfortable around her.

"One day I was working in the flower beds behind the gazebo when Katherine came out there, and she was crying. She didn't see me, but I saw that she was holding her cheek, and when she moved her hand I could see a bruise forming by her eye. I stood up and asked her if she was OK and she hurriedly covered her face and said that she was fine. That it was nothing, and ran away. After that I always kept a closer eye on her, and noticed that she was bruised a lot of the time. On her arms, her face. She always quickly covered them up and said she was just clumsy—always bumping into things.

"Then on one particular day I was asked to take care of something inside the house. As I passed one of the rooms, I heard a woman crying, so of course I went in to see what was wrong. Katherine was sitting in one of the chairs, crying inconsolably. Her dress was torn, and I could see she had a lot more bruises. Some were old, some were fairly new, and you could see where knew ones were going to form. I rushed to help her, but she told me she was fine and to leave her alone. But I demanded to know how she'd gotten hurt. Finally she told me that Alistair was abusing her—physically and sexually and had been for years. I begged her to let me go for help, but she refused, so I had no choice but to leave her."

Looking around, Martin could see that so far his family wasn't particularly moved. They felt bad for Katherine he was sure, but still didn't see what that had to do with him leaving, so he continued.

"After that day, I watched her even closer, and though she always denied it, it seemed like the beatings were getting worse. I begged her again to get help, but she kept saying she was fine.

"Then came the day I witnessed Alistair's abuse for myself. I had come up to the main house to meet your mother so we could come home, and as I passed Alistair's office, I heard him yell at her, then a loud smack. I heard Katherine cry out in pain and then a thud as if he had actually knocked her to the floor. I ran in and yelled at Alistair to stop, and tried to help Katherine up. Of course you can guess how Alistair took that. He was so angry he almost hit me—I don't know what stopped him. But he told me to get out and to never interfere in his and Katherine's life again.

"That night, I went back to the mansion on the pretense that I'd forgotten to take care of something in the house. I snuck up to Katherine's rooms, and made her leave with me. We ran away that night, and have been hiding out all over the world ever since."

"Why did you never come back?" Paloma was the first to break the silence that followed Martin's story.

This was the hard part. Martin only hoped that his explanation would be good enough. "I knew if I came back Alistair would kill me."

"Is that also why you never tried to contact us?" Miguel was next with questions.

"Yes. If Katherine or I had tried to contact anyone in Harmony we knew Alistair would find us for sure."

Luis and Theresa weren't quite buying any of this. Looking at them Martin felt his heart sink, but didn't have time to saying anything to them before Pilar asked her question.

"How did you survive?"

"Only Katherine's youngest sister knew where we were. She was married to a wealthy man, and she had her own money from her family's side, so she was able to help us out whenever we needed to move. In between times, we lived and worked under assumed names and kept to ourselves."

Luis finally spoke, and his voice held somewhat less an edge than Martin would've expected. "If the only reason you didn't come back is because you were afraid that Alistair would kill you, why didn't you come back the minute he was dead?"

It was a fair question. "Katherine and I felt that we'd been gone so long and everyone thought we were dead anyway, maybe it was best to let things be and not disrupt your lives." Martin turned to Theresa where she sat on the couch holding Ethan's hand. Both had been quiet up till now, and he wished one of them would say something.

"So why disrupt our lives now?" Theresa's voice held the missing edge from Luis's and Martin took a deep breath.

"I saw what was happening to Luis and Miguel and thought I should be here. Thought that maybe I could help somehow."

"How did you feel that you would be able to help after being gone for 20 years?" Theresa asked. " We've gotten along fine till now. Besides, with my and Ethan's power at Crane behind them and Ethan representing them in court, they will have the best defense money can buy. I can help them just fine without you."

"Of course you can Baby Doll. I just thought…"

_Of course you can Baby Doll…._

Theresa didn't hear anything else her father had to say after that. Memory after memory filed through her head at that simple phrase, at that tone of his voice.

_Of course you can Baby Doll…._

_"Daddy, I can hit the ball almost as far as Luis!"_

_Of course you can Baby Doll…_

_"I can drive the go cart as fast as Antonio can Daddy!"_

_Of course you can Baby Doll…_

_"We had a spelling bee at school Daddy, and guess what! I'm the best speller in the class!"_

_Of course you are Baby Doll…_

_"I can help them…without you."_

_Of course you can Baby Doll…_

And she couldn't take it anymore.

_"How Dare You!"_ she snapped coldly.

Silence. All eyes were turned to her in shock. But she didn't care. She could not be stopped.

"All this time! All these years. You left us here to be tortured by Alistair so you could save his wife? Just left us to fight for ourselves, to be blind sided by his wrath to protect someone who had people around her to help her if she had asked? _How could you_?"

"Theresa…" Martin was cut off by his daughter's continuing outburst.

"How could you leave Mama with five mouths to feed? How could you leave her to raise us all alone? Did you know when Antonio died?"

Martin dropped his eyes and nodded. "Katherine's sister let us know."

"How could you stay away? Didn't your first born son's life mean anything to you? You say you knew that Alistair was brutally beating and abusing Katherine, in the most heinous ways possible, but when news hit the papers that I had married him, you didn't come back to save me. Everything he did to Katherine? Yeah, he did them to me too! Now you come back to 'help' Luis and Miguel, but where were you when I needed you? Nowhere! You were nowhere to be found. Because you're a coward. And I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"

With tears streaming from her eyes, sobs wracking her body, Theresa ran through the house out to the backyard, slamming the door behind her.


	12. Chapter 11

Last time: Martin faced his family at Pilar's house, and Theresa gave him a healthy dose of her mind...

Chapter 11

Silence hung over the room like heavy smog upon Theresa's departure. Looking around Ethan realized that he was the only one not surprised by the force of his wife's tirade. Paloma was crying, only the tears sliding down her face giving her away. Miguel and Luis were looking at each other with what could only be classified as pleasant shock. Like they couldn't believe their baby sister had so aptly put into words what they themselves had been thinking. Pilar's face was ashen and Martin's was one of devastation.

All eyes trained on him, Ethan rose silently and followed Theresa, stopping long enough to grab their coats. As he left he heard Pilar begin to apologize and Martin gently stop her with "No. I deserved that."

Ethan stopped at the back entryway to put on his coat and scanned the backyard. He didn't see Theresa anywhere, but he wasn't alarmed. He knew exactly where she was…

"_Come on." She patted a spot next to her on the twisted branch on the backside of an old tree. _

_He looked at her skeptically. "You want me to sit in a tree…?"_

_She giggled sweetly. "Yeah. Come on…"_

"_Is it safe?" He walked slowly towards her, trying frantically to think of a reason not to._

"_Ha! Ethan! Look at this tree! It's huge! There's no way this branch is going to break, and there's plenty of room for the both of us." She was shaking her head at him like he was being silly._

"_I'm not really dressed for sitting in a tree…" It was bad enough that he almost had to crawl in the dirt to follow her here._

"_Your clothes aren't going to get hurt, and if they do get dirty that's what they invented washing machines for! Now get over here!" _

_The things she made him do. Sitting gingerly on the branch with her, she smiled that smile that always made him do whatever she wanted._

"_See…the Big Bad Tree Monster didn't come and get you…" she teased._

_Able to chuckle at his own silliness, Ethan looked up into the leaves and all around them. There were so many leaves, they were hidden from view, and being in the back they never would've been seen from the house anyway. "Kind of cozy."_

"_Yeah it is." She had replied dreamily. "This is my Thinking Chair. I come here all the time when I want to be by myself. I'm the only one that knows about it. I found it when I was playing out here one day when I was little. This tree was so huge and there were so many leaves, I had to find out what was behind them all. So I crawled under them, and this is what I found. I never told anyone else."_

"_So you always come here by yourself?" he asked._

_She nodded; the little bit of sunlight that came through made her eyes shine. "Yep. You're the first person I've ever brought here with me."_

"_Really? You've never ever brought anyone else here?" he had been shocked._

_Smiling softly, she shook her head from side to side._

_Looking at her, Ethan knew he was going to fall in love…if he hadn't already…_

Firmly bundled against the cold, Ethan walked resolutely towards the tree. As he got closer, he could hear that Theresa was still sobbing, and his heart broke. Walking around to the back of the tree and ducking under some of the lower branches, he approached her silently. Gently pulling her forward, he straddled the branch with his back to the trunk, then let her fall into his chest. Draping her coat on her back, he wrapped his arms around her, sealing out the cold wind, and just held her without saying a word.

Even as she cried into Ethan's chest, Theresa couldn't help but love this man. He had come without her calling. He had known exactly where to find her. He didn't try to calm her or make her feel better. He just let her cry out all the frustrations and hurts she'd carried around for all these years. Rocking her gently, he kissed her softly on top of her head when he sensed her sobs were subsiding.

"I guess you're wondering what in the world is wrong with me?" she sniffled. "I can't believe I lost control like that."

"I don't think anything of the sort." He chuckled softly. "In fact, this is what I expected to see yesterday."

So she hadn't really fooled him. He had just chosen to take her at her word, and prepared to pick up the pieces when she fell apart, which somehow he'd known would happen. Still sniffling but under better control of herself, she sat up and pulled her coat on properly.

"I can't go back in there. Can you just take me home please?"

"Absolutely. I'll go get our things." He said.

"Are you sure that's what you heard?" Sam didn't believe Jessica would lie, but he wanted to be sure.

_"I'm positive Dad. Fox set this whole thing up, and Julian is helping him."_

"I don't know why I'm surprised. This is just like a scheme one of the Cranes would pull." Gritting his teeth Sam tried to control his temper. "I can't believe I trusted that man with my daughter's life!" he spoke of Fox.

_"So what do we do now?"_ Jessica wondered.

"Dranpa, look! I cowerd for you." Lily stood patting his knee as she waved a piece of paper with crayon scribbles on it.

"I have Bud, Jane, and Lily with me for the day, so I can't go to the station. I'm not sure what Ethan's plans were for the day." Sam trailed off trying to think. "OK. I'm going to try to get a hold of Ethan. You come home as soon as you can and we can figure out when it's a good time to give him your statement. He'll know what to do after that."

_"OK."_ Jessica agreed.

"Jess?" Sam wasn't sure if the line had gone dead.

_"Yeah?"_

"Thanks for calling. I'm not sure if we'll actually be able to use this, but it might be just what Miguel needs to clear his name."


	13. Chapter 12

Last time: Ethan remembered an event from his and Theresa's past, and Jessica finally got hold of of her father to tell him what Fox had done...

Chapter 12

_"Hey. This is Ethan. Sorry I missed your call…"_

Voice Mail.

_"Hi there! Sorry you have to talk to my phone…"_

Theresa's voice mail.

"Come on! One of you needs to answer your phone!"

_"Hey. This is Ethan…"_

Sam groaned. What was the point of having cell phones if you didn't answer?

_Beep._

"Ethan! Its Dad. Call me as soon as you get this. It's important!"

"Look. I know I'm the last person you boys want to be talking to right now—let alone accept help from—but can you at least fill me in on all the details?" Martin didn't want to push, but he was desperate to be involved in his sons' lives.

Miguel and Luis looked at each other, then back at Martin warily.

"I don't know. Ho do we know you won't go back and tell Katherine? And that she won'' tell Julian and make this worse than it already is?" Luis asked, as always thinking like a cop. Miguel nodded in agreement.

"That won't happen." Martin assured them.

Luis snorted lightly. "Why should I believe you? Because you said so? Your track record for living up to your word is pretty pathetic." He couldn't resist at least one barb.

"Because I'm not staying at the mansion. And even though we're close we're not that close. I won't have a problem keeping this from her."

Looking around, Martin saw the surprise on his family's faces, but he wasn't going to be sidetracked. "Well…what's going on? Please?"

Turning again to Miguel, it was agreed, and Luis sat forward. "OK. It's like this…"

"Grandmother!"

"Fox! I'm so happy you are well!" Katherine hugged her grandson close. Along with Katherine, Fancy, Sheridan, Chris, and James were on hand to welcome Fox and his family home from the hospital as well. Hugs were given all around and everyone settled in the living room to chat.

"I'm so glad to finally have Fox home to recover. Are you comfortable Honey?" Kay was fussing over her husband—or at least trying to. Maria was suddenly very clinging and began to cry at sitting on the couch by herself instead of in her mother's arms.

"Oh Maria." Kay cooed. "I can't hold you and make sure Fox is OK at the same time." Rocking Maria as she cried, Kay looked apologetically at the group and explained. "There were so many strange people around the hospital and with the press all over the place when we left, she's a little scared still I think. It's OK baby."

As Kay continued to comfort her daughter, Chris turned to Fox, who was being fussed over by Ivy now. "Press? How did the press get wind of your release?"

Fox shrugged. "I guess someone at the hospital let them in on the secret for a handsome price."

Julian glowered. "Yes. That or the mole on our own staff did. I'm telling you…ahh Mary Ann. There you are. Can you bring us some refreshments please?"

"Yes Mr. Crane."

"I'm telling you" Julian continued. "If I find the person responsible for this they're going to wish they'd never thought twice about crossing me. Mary Ann, the refreshments please?"

"Of course Mr. Crane." Mary Ann hurried out of the room, aware that every eye was watching her. Reaching the doorway she heard Julian remark, _"That woman. Sometimes I wonder why we keep her on, she's so slow about her work, sometimes you have to tell her several times to do things…"_

In the kitchen, Mary Ann prepared a tray for the family gathered in the living room and tried to calm herself. It was disconcerting to hear Mr. Crane talk about her in that manner to say the least. She'd just have to do better. Turning with the tray, she gasped in surprise. She hadn't heard anyone else come in.

"Don't get greedy Mary Ann. You've got a job to do. If they're watching you, the gig is up."

Ethan was beginning to grow concerned. Theresa hadn't said another word after asking if he would take her home, and had been crying quietly but steadily ever since. Parked in the garage now, Theresa got out of the vehicle and went inside without even looking at him. It was one thing to be upset with her father, and another to still be crying over it as if her heart was broken. He was pretty sure he didn't know the whole story here. Following her into the house, he watched as she took off her coat, throwing both it and her purse on a nearby chair, and then followed her straight to the window seat. Watching her grab one of the pillows to her chest and curl up in a little ball, he was convinced. Something was definitely wrong. Glad that they had given Mrs. Patterson the day off, Ethan took his coat off as well, and joined Theresa at the window.

"Baby? Can you tell me what's wrong? I mean, I expected you to be upset but it seems like something else is wrong. What is it?"

She sniffed. "It's nothing. It was just something my dad said that got to me."

Ethan nodded. "It kind of seemed like something he said set you off, but I wasn't sure what it was."

Theresa stayed quiet at this, and Ethan measured his next words. "You don't have to tell me, but you might feel better if you did. I love you. Maybe I can help."

"Nobody can help." The tears were still falling.

"OK. Well then maybe I can make it feel better, make you feel better, I don't know. It just kills me to see you this upset." He was trying not to push, but he'd never seen her quite this broken before. At least never over something that didn't involve the two of them and their past. "Please tell me."

"Of course you can Baby Doll." She finally said.

Confusion filled Ethan's eyes. "What?"

"That's what set me off. When he said '_of course you can Baby Doll'_."

He nodded slowly. "OK. Can you tell me why?"

Wiping her eyes, Theresa sighed. "It was always what he said to pacify me. I was the only girl and the baby no less, and I wanted to do everything my big brothers were doing. Playing baseball, building go carts, whatever. Only Papa saw me as the baby, too small to do whatever it was. Papa spent a lot of time with all of us, but most of the time he was showing the boys how to do something and leaving me on the side.

"Like the time he was working with Luis and his pitching. Antonio was batting, and Luis was throwing ball after ball and Papa was saying 'That's right son! Just like that!'" Of course I wanted to play too. I started jumping around, and I kept saying, 'I can do it too Papa! I can throw the ball like Luis can!' And he looked over at me, smiled and said 'Of course you can Baby Doll.' And that was it. He went right back to coaching Luis.

"It was the same with Antonio and his go carts. They'd be working out in the garage and I'd say, 'I can help Papa! I can help you build the car.' And all he'd say was 'Of course you can Baby Doll.' With that smile, and that tone that said 'you're really too little'. And he and Antonio would work for hours and never notice me leave."

Ethan was starting to get the picture, but Theresa wasn't finished yet.

"Then Miguel and Paloma were born, and he was working more hours at the mansion so he didn't have as much time with us. Especially me it seemed sometimes. Luis and Antonio always had some project they needed his help with, and Mama needed him to help with the babies and stuff. So either it was 'Oh, I can't right now Theresa.' or 'In a little bit sweetie.' for me. I pretty much got to do what I wanted within reason. I think they were just too busy to make a big deal out of it unless it was a problem you know?

"One time, I can home from school, and we'd had this spelling bee in class, and I won. And I was so excited to tell Papa; I could hardly wait for him to come home from work. When he walked in the door I was practically jumping out of my skin I was so happy. I said 'Papa! I won the spelling bee today! I'm the best speller in my class!' And he smiled at me—really smiled this time—then Luis and Antonio rushed in telling him something about their day and Paloma tripped and fell and hit her head, and Mama was calling us for dinner, and all he said was 'Of course you are Baby Doll.' And that was all. He never mentioned it again."

Theresa was crying again, and Ethan stayed quiet as she composed herself. She still wasn't finished with her story, he had a feeling. In a minute she started talking again.

"I tried to tell myself it wasn't personal, that it wasn't Papa's fault. He was only one person and had so much to do. I thought he must be proud of me even if he didn't tell me. He was just too busy.

"We had this clock in the living room from the 'old country'. Papa was so proud of it. Everyday he let Antonio and Luis wind it up, but he told me that I was too little to wind it, and that I was never to touch it. One afternoon, I was wandering around looking for something to do, and I saw the clock. Suddenly I thought if I wound it up, Papa would be so proud of me, and he'd see I wasn't a little girl anymore. I knew how to do it. I'd watched my brothers enough times. So I picked it up, I was being so careful—really I was! And as I was winding it up, Papa came in, but I never saw him. 'Theresa!' he yelled, and it scared me so bad I dropped the clock and the face smashed into a million pieces.

"Papa was so angry. I've never seen him so mad. I tried to apologize, but he didn't say anything. He didn't even look at me. He said not to worry about it. It was just a clock. But he looked so sad I knew he didn't mean it. He didn't say anything else to me all night.

"The next morning he was gone. And the morning after that, and the one of after that, and the one after that. Everybody was upset and worried. Eventually we knew he wasn't coming back and I knew it was my fault. If I hadn't broken the clock, he wouldn't have left."

"Oh Theresa!" Ethan reached to give her a hug. "And you never told anyone?"

Theresa shook her head. "I thought if I told them it was my fault Papa left they would hate me too. So I just tried to be a really good girl so he would come back. As I got older, of course I realized he had left on his own and it wasn't really my fault and that he didn't really hate me or anything.

"I guess I never realized though how much I was still hurting over all this. I mean he shows up here because Luis and Miguel are in trouble, and I guess that's great because they'll have one more person in their corner. But I wish he'd have come back because he thought I needed him. You heard him Ethan! He knew that Alistair beat and raped Katherine for years, so I have to believe that he would suspect I would be treated the same way. And he didn't come home! He didn't come home to save me!" Theresa was sobbing heavily again. "Why didn't he come home Ethan? Why didn't he try to save me?"

Ethan was crying now too. "I don't know Baby. I don't know why he didn't come." Rocking her in his arms, Ethan's heart broke for his wife. Broke for the little girl that felt left out. Broke for the little girl that thought she'd driven her father away. For the little girl that wondered why her dad didn't save her when she was being hurt. For the little girl that lay broken in his arms.

"Please Theresa." Ethan kissed her head, then her face. "Please don't cry." He kissed her lips. "Please."

Still crying, Theresa kissed Ethan back hungrily, and soon forgot everything but that she loved Ethan Samuel Winthrop more than anything else in the world.


	14. Chapter 13

Last time: Theresa tells Ethan about her childhood, an emotional time that led to an intimate moment...

Chapter 13

"Hello?"

_"Paloma? This is Sam."_

"Hi Chief."

_"Paloma? Are Ethan and Theresa there?"_

"Actually Chief, no they aren't. They left a little while ago. Why is something wrong?"

Sam sighed impatiently. _"Well, not wrong exactly, but I need to get a hold of Ethan. Jess has something to tell him about Miguel's case."_

"What? Jess has something that could help Miguel?" Paloma was so excited her voice was starting to carry and everyone in the living room rushed into the kitchen.

"What? What does Jess have that could help me?" Miguel practically snatched the phone out of Paloma's hand. "Sam? What is it? Can Jess prove Fox is setting me up?"

_"I don't want to say anything. Ethan talked to me about doing everything by book. I think what we need to do is head down to the station OK? I'll bring the kids and have Ethan meet us there, and then Jess will tell him everything."_

"OK Sam. We'll be right there." Miguel turned to the group that was waiting with baited breath and hung up the phone. "He said to meet him at the station. Jess might have something to help my case. He's going to have Ethan meet us there and have her give him her statement formally."

"Well what the hell are we waiting for? Let's get down to the station!" Luis ran from the room with Martin, Paloma, and Miguel right behind.

Pilar sat at her kitchen table and prayed. "Please God. Let this clear my son's name!"

_"Hmmmm."_ Theresa curled up contentedly in her husband's arms.

"Are you feeling better?" Ethan picked up one of her hands and kissed her fingers before wrapping his own between them. Lying with Theresa in the window seat, he was particularly glad Mrs. Patterson had the day off.

Theresa smiled a sleepy smile. "You always make me feel better."

Ethan chuckled. "I'd have to say you generally have the same effect on me." It was Theresa's turn to laugh.

"I'm sorry about your dad Theresa…" Ethan began before she cut him off.

"Please. Let's not ruin this by talking about my dad. I just want to forget today happened. At least for today." Theresa knew Ethan too well to think that they wouldn't discuss this again…in detail.

"OK." Ethan kissed her softly and pulled her closer in his arms, and they just enjoyed being with each other in the silence of the house. Which lasted only for a few minutes before the phone rang.

"Let the machine get it." Theresa murmured, and since he was feeling ready for a nap, Ethan was more than happy to comply.

_"Ethan? It's Dad. I've been trying yours and Theresa's cell phones, I even tried to reach you at Pilar's. I hope you get this soon. I'm taking the kids with me to the station, and I need you to come as soon as you get this. Jessica has something to tell you about Miguel's case. Um…well, I guess that's it. Call me at the station when you're on your way. Bye."_

The sleepy couple was fully awake now. "Your sister has something that will help Miguel?" Theresa reached for her clothes as Ethan rolled away from her and reached for the phone and his pants.

"Dad? It's me." He paused to listen, and Theresa figured Sam was giving him a small piece of his mind. "Yeah I'm sorry. I turned my phone off. What's this about Jess finding out something to help Miguel? Um hmm. Um hm. OK. I'm on my way right now."

"What did he say?" Theresa had been so intent on listening to Ethan's side of the conversation she had pulled her shirt on backwards, but neither of them stopped to notice.

"He didn't want to say too much. He said he'd let Jess tell me herself. Probably smart." Ethan sighed as he looked at his wife. "I'm sorry our afternoon got cut short."

"Don't worry about it. Go see what Jess has to say." Theresa was practically pushing Ethan out the door.

"I'll be back as soon as I can." Ethan kissed Theresa and trotted out to the car.

As she watched him pull away, Theresa did the same thing as her mother—she prayed as if her own life depended on it.

Jessica was waiting at the station when Sam walked through the door with his three grandchildren, who promptly ran to hug their aunt.

"Hey guys!" Jessica loved all her nieces and nephews to distraction and her only complaint was that she didn't see them enough. "Is Ethan going to be here soon?"

"Yeah. He called just before we left the house. By the way, thanks for getting here so fast."

"I'm just glad you caught me before I left the hospital. Lily don't play with that sweetie. Here." Jessica took the glass paperweight from her niece and gave her a hair clip she found in her purse.

The Lopez-Fitzgearld's arrived then, and Miguel immediately began to question Jessica.

"Sam said you found out something that could prove Fox is setting me up. What is it?"

"Miguel I know you're anxious, but we need to wait till Ethan gets here. Less room for people to claim we cooked this story up." Sam said.

"Papa" Luis said then. "You remember Sam.

"Martin. Good to see you again. This is my daughter Jessica. I don't think she was born the last time you were here." Sam was being careful with his words. He wanted to welcome Martin without making Luis, Miguel, and Paloma uncomfortable. And he also didn't want to alert his grandchildren that anything was out of the ordinary.

"It's good to be back. And it's nice to meet you Jessica." Martin was downplaying the interchange as well. His heart picked up its pace though when he turned to the children that were looking at him curiously. He couldn't believe he was this close to grandchildren for the first time. Looking at them, he tried not to cry. They looked a lot like their mother (especially Jane—Martin was sure that was her name) except for their startling blue eyes, which were definitely their father's.

Knowing there really wasn't a help for it, Luis cleared his throat. "Papa, these are Ethan and Theresa's kids. This is Ethan—but we call him Bud. This is Jane, and this little peanut is Lily."

"Hello." Martin didn't want to frighten the kids since they obviously didn't know him, and he had no idea how Ethan and Theresa had planned to handle this, so he didn't say anything more. No one had counted on just how much Bud was catching on until he spoke up.

"Uncle Luis just called you 'Papa." He said slowly.

"Yes, he did." Martin replied.

"Are you his dad?"

Martin nodded. "Yes I am."

"That means you're my mom's dad too?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yes. Your mom is my daughter." was the quiet answer.

Bud had one more question even though he knew the answer already. "So you're our grandpa?"

Suddenly Jane frowned and Martin's breath caught in his throat. Even through the blue eyes he could see a seven year old Theresa staring back at him.

"You're our grandpa?" she asked.

Swallowing his tears, Martin nodded again.

"Yes Jane. Bud. I'm your grandpa."


	15. Chapter 14

Last time: Everyone gathered at the police station to hear Jessica give her statement, and while they waited for Ethan, Martin met his grandkids for the first time...

Chapter 14

Silence followed Martin's declaration as everyone waited to see how the kids would react.

"You're really our grandpa?" Jane asked.

"Dranpa." Lily repeated.

Martin nodded.

"We thought you were dead." Bud was confused.

Ethan rushed through the door of the station just then. "Hey everyone. Sorry it took so long." Seeing the confused looks on his children's faces and the tenseness of the adults, he sized up the situation immediately.

"So. I see you've been introduced to the kids."

"Yeah. They're taking all this rather well I think…" Martin started to say when Jane piped up again, obviously skeptical.

"Daddy how can he be Mommy's dad? She said Grandpa Fitzgerald is dead."

Ethan bent down to look Jane right in the eye while Lily leaned against his leg and Bud came close as well. "Well…Mommy hadn't seen your grandpa in a really long time and she, and your uncle's, and your Aunt Paloma, and your Abuela all _thought _he was dead. But he finally was able to come back home last night."

Satisfied with their father's explanation, the kids looked at Martin without fear. Jane was the first to approach him and put her little arms around his waist. "I'm glad you're not dead."

"Yeah. Me too." Bud reached to hug Martin as well.

"Meee tooo. Meee tooo." Lily grabbed Martin's leg anxious not to be left out.

Martin laughed through his tears and was joined by the rest of the adults. "Me too you guys. Me too."

"So." Ethan addressed his sister. I hate to break this up, but Jess? Dad says you have something to tell me?" He pulled a notepad and pen from his briefcase.

"Um, I'll keep the kids busy in the back." Paloma rounded up the kids and left everyone else to hear Jessica's story.

"Yeah. Well, I went to the hospital early this morning to see Fox before my shift started…" Jessica detailed what she had heard, Ethan writing all the while.

"See! What did I tell you Ethan? I told you I was being set up!" Miguel was so angry he could hardly see straight, and his dad and brother were feeling the same.

"Yes. Well, now we know for sure that you're being set up. But we still have a problem. I'm sorry." Ethan apologized at Miguel's groan.

"What could possibly be the problem? You just heard Jess say that I'm innocent and that Fox and Julian are trying to keep me away from Kay!"

"But it's still her word against Julian's and we all know how that's going to go down in court. Especially with all the evidence pointing at you." Ethan hated to have to point this out. "Now that we know this for sure, we can work the investigation toward proving it. But unless you give me something solid to work with, you're still on the hook for this Miguel. I'm sorry."

"OK. OK. What do we have so far?" Luis asked

Ethan flipped through his notes. "Um let's see. We have Fox's statement, his medical records of his hospital stay in regards to the shooting—he turned those over yesterday without being asked, and eyewitness testimony of Miguel actually shooting him. On our side we have Miguel's statement of innocence and Jessica's story backing him up—thank you baby sis. But it's not enough."

"The ballistics report is back." While the others were talking, Sam had been handed the report by one of the other officers.

Hearing the type of gun used in the crime, Martin looked thoughtful. "If I'm not mistaken, that is the type of gun used by Crane security on the estate."

"Are you sure?" Luis asked.

Martin nodded. "Yep. I'm sure."

Sam looked skeptical. "Would Fox really use a gun that could be traced back to his family's private security staff?"

"I don't know" Ethan was afraid to get too hopeful at this point. Julian was used to playing this type of game, and it seemed that Fox was catching on very well. "But it's the only lead we have so far, so follow it. Find out where that gun came from. And let's hope it brings us something we can use."

"Mother, I really think this is the only way to get the family back to running the company." Julian was sitting with his mother in her private sitting room, and the conversation wasn't going as he'd planned.

"But Julian. I don't want to run Crane. And Theresa and Ethan are doing a good job."

"That is beside the point!" He was getting angry now. Taking a deep breath he tried to calm himself. "Don't you want this for your grandchildren? Hell what about your children? This was supposed to be our legacy! And we're working for Theresa…well it's just not right!"

"I don't know…" Katherine was still unsure, and her son moved in for the kill. He hated to hurt her, but if he needed to he had no problem doing that.

"Letting Theresa keep the company isn't going to make Martin love you. So why don't you stop trying to watch out for his children and start thinking of your own?"

Katherine inhaled sharply at Julian's words. She had no idea how he had figured her out so quickly. She didn't agree with him; Martin _would_ realize he loved her. After twenty years he had to. It was just a matter of time before he came back to her. Suddenly she had an idea.

"_Maybe I'll go along with his plan for now. If he's distracted with this, he won't be paying attention as closely to the case's against Miguel and Luis, and maybe Ethan can figure out a way to prove they're innocent!"_

"I guess you're right Julian. It's silly to think I can buy Martin's love. I should accept it and start looking out for you and Sheridan and my grandchildren." She hoped she sounded sincere. Since Julian smiled at her words, she guessed she had been successful.

"Excellent. I knew you'd see things my way. Here's what we do."

Stepping quickly away from the door, Mary Ann debated what to do. He had told her to be careful, and to do the job she was expected to do. But this was too good an opportunity to pass up. But if she got caught she could lose her job… Hesitating for only a moment more, she smiled. She knew what she would do.

"Hello? Yeah. I have a big scoop for you. And I think it's worth a little more than usual. Oh, you're not paying? OK. I'll just call over to… what do I think of that? I think you have a deal."


	16. Chapter 15

Last time: The ballistic report of the gun used in Fox's shooting proved it was the type of gun used by Crane Security, and Mary Ann overheard something she wasn't supposed to hear...

Chapter 15

"OK. I guess that's our next project. Find that gun and where it came from." Sam turned to his officers. "Well, let's get to work."

"And I better get the kids home. It's getting late." Ethan headed to the back, but Martin stopped him.

"Can I go?"

"Sure." Ethan was fairly sure Theresa wouldn't like this idea right now—she was a close to hating Martin as she had ever hated someone. But he couldn't say 'no'.

Martin smiled his thanks and headed for the back room and Ethan pulled Luis to the side.

"Um…I'm guessing since your dad is here, you're not having as hard a time with this as your sister?"

Luis had to give a small laugh. "I know right? I mean, I thought the day I saw Papa again I would give him a piece of my mind. I'd tell him how much I hated him for leaving us—and especially for another woman, and I'd never forgive him, or want to have anything to do with him. But I can't. He swears that he didn't leave for Katherine—at least not like that. And he swears that they've never been together—like that. Never once in twenty years. He swears it was always about Alistair."

Ethan shook his head and answered with slight skepticism in his voice. "I know Theresa wouldn't buy a word of it right now, but do you? What about Miguel and Paloma? Your mom?"

Luis shrugged. "I want to hate him. I want to not want him here. I'm not sure if I believe him. But I don't have the time or energy to fight him right now, so I guess I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. For now anyway. I think they're doing the same thing."

Before Ethan could answer, he saw Martin and Paloma coming with the kids and cut the conversation short. "You guys ready?"

"Yeah. Um Dad? Can…." Bud paused, not quite sure what to call his long lost relative.

"Um, I guess you can call me Papa for now." Martin filled in.

Bud nodded. "OK. Can Papa come home with us for awhile? Don't you think Mom would want to see him?" Ethan, Luis, and Martin looked at each other before Ethan answered.

"Well, actually Bud, Mom saw him this morning at Abuela's house. And when I left your mom at home earlier, uh…she seemed like she needed some rest." Martin shifted his weight and Ethan knew that he got the real point. "Maybe Papa can come another time."

"Awww. OK. Bye Papa." Bud, Lily, and Jane hugged Martin and then went to say 'goodbye' to Sam.

Martin cleared his throat and looked at Ethan as soon as the kids were out of earshot. "She doesn't want me there, does she?"

"She didn't use those words—really—but I'm pretty sure that would be a bad idea. I think it would be better if you just stayed away for now. I'm sorry." Martin bowed his head and Ethan reached a hand to his shoulder. "Don't worry. I'll keep talking to her. And I'll try to give you time to spend with the kids as much as I can."

Martin swallowed hard. "Thanks. That's all I can ask."

"Hey. It's Fox. I need you to do something for me that should put Miguel away forever. Of course you will. You're too hard up for cash not to. And you'll be handsomely rewarded. That's what I thought. Here's what you do…"

"Fox? Who was that on the phone?" Kay walked into their bedroom after putting Maria to bed just as her husband finished his phone call.

"Oh…just yet another request for an exclusive interview. Ahhh." Fox was settling into bed and put on the act flawlessly. If Kay thought he was in more pain than he actually was, she'd forget about everything else.

"Are you OK? Can I get you one of your pain pills? Here, let me help you…"

As Kay fussed over him, Fox smiled to himself. _You lost Miguel. Let this be a lesson you think of while you rot in prison: Never tangle with a Crane!_

Ethan pulled into the garage and watched the kids pile out. He got out more slowly. He wasn't absolutely positive, but he was fairly certain that they would rush in, tell Theresa about meeting Martin, and he'd have a fire to deal with. He hoped she'd be reasonable, but that was something he wasn't counting on. Usually he loved that she went for whatever it was she believed in regardless of reason, but tonight it might not be such a good thing.

He walked into the hallway and took his time hanging up his coat. Then he picked up the kids' coats and lined up their shoes. He was doing anything he could to waste time. He could hear them excitedly talking about _"Papa",_ and _"Dad said maybe he could come over sometime"_ and his wife's _"Oh really?"_ He knew that tone. He was in a little bit of trouble, but not too much. Yet.

Ethan listened to Theresa send the kids to wash up for dinner and then listened as her footsteps came closer. Time was up.

"Are you hiding?" she asked.

"Should I be?" he was only half kidding, and she knew it. He tried to look pitiful.

"No, I guess not. It sounds like you really didn't have much choice in how things went down. But I'm not going to see my father. And I don't want the kids getting too attached. Who knows when he'll up and leave them and I won't put them through that. I won't do it."

Ethan debated whether to argue with her, and decided against it. If Martin was as sincere as he felt he was, there would be plenty of arguments about him later.

"OK. We don't have to discuss it tonight…"

"We're not discussing it any night. That's how I feel, I'm through talking about it. Are you hungry? And what else happened at the station?" She turned away and walked toward the kitchen.

So she was going to be unreasonable tonight. He knew it was time to drop it, and followed her.

"Sure. What are we having?"

Pilar kneeled at the side of her bed, thanking God that they now had something to go on in Miguel's case, and begging that Luis's innocence would be proven soon too. And she added another request as well. She didn't know why, but she felt that she had to pray it.

"Lord, please keep my Theresa. She's filled with such hate to her father. Help her. And keep her and her family safe…"


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 

"Mom, can Papa come over today?"

"I don't think that's a good idea guys."

"Why not?" Jane was whining, and Bud looked crestfallen as well. Lily was busy making pictures with her oatmeal and wasn't paying attention; otherwise Theresa was sure she would've piped up too—if for no other reason than to be exactly like her siblings.

"Um, because I just thought we could spend the day together. You know…as a family."

"Papa is family too." Bud stated logically, and Theresa gritted her teeth inwardly. He had his father's gift for objectivity and logic, and this morning it wasn't his most endearing quality.

"Well, I just meant us. You know—you three and your dad and me? We've been so busy the last few days I thought we could do something fun. Go outside and play in the woods, or play games by the fire…doesn't that sound fun?"

"I'n want to cower pitchers." Lily suddenly piped up.

Theresa laughed. "OK. We'll color pictures too. Now, the sooner we help Mrs. Patterson, the sooner we can get started."

The kids moved to help their nanny faster than Theresa had seen them in a long time. Before she could lend a hand, her husband sat down next to her, and she didn't have to wonder if he'd heard the conversation she'd just had with their children.

"Honey, I know how you feel about your father, but we can't keep the kids from him indefinitely." Ethan kept his voice low so the rest of the group wouldn't hear.

Well, playing dumb was out of the question. Darn it all. Why did he have to be able to read her so well?

"Yes we can. And we will." She answered snappishly. "And by the way…Good Morning to you too."

Ethan looked apologetic and leaned forward for their usual Good Morning kiss. "Good Morning Darling."

"Now hurry up. We're getting ready to go outside and play with the kids." Theresa knew she didn't sound very inviting, but she couldn't help it. Talking about Martin didn't make her feel very gracious. Picking up her dishes she walked away without another word leaving Ethan mid pucker, and he shook his head.

Apparently she was still being unreasonable.

"Oh Luis! That's wonderful news about Miguel! Though I'm sorry that Julian and Fox are doing this. And don't worry, I won't let on that I know anything." Sheridan had hoped Julian had turned over a new leaf and that Fox had more character than his father did but apparently not. "Can they prove it?"

_"Sam and the guys are doing their best, and Ethan is trying everything he knows to get Miguel off. I only wish we had a lead on my case. At this rate, I'll be spending the rest of my life in prison."_ Luis sounded resigned.

Sheridan closed her eyes against the tears and tried to sound confident. "I know you didn't rape Fancy. And I'll do anything you need me to to help prove it. You won't go to jail if I can help it."

_"How's Fancy? Ethan won't let me see or talk to her or nothing. He's even told Paloma to stay away for now."_

Sheridan's feeling of tenderness was immediately replaced with bitter anger, but she tried not to let her voice show it. "Well, how do you think? She's a basket case. She can't eat or sleep. She jumps at any sound or if you even come near her. And then to have you charged on top of it all. She's not doing very well."

_"I hate this. I love her so much."_ Luis sounded heartbroken.

"I know you do." Her voice was sweet as sugar, but her heart was filled with green bitterness, and her eyes narrowed.

Watching her and listening to her side of the conversation from around the corner, Chris's eyes narrowed as green anger and bitterness filled his heart too.

The day was finally over and Theresa had never been more exhausted. Pretending everything was fine when it wasn't was hard work. She felt like she'd just worked a week at Crane. They had played hide and seek in the woods, tag in their own back yard, baked cookies, and colored pictures just for Lily. The kids had had fun, and she had kept them away from Martin, so she counted the day a success.

Except for Ethan. He had spent most of the day with them before going in to work on her brother's cases. He had played his part convincingly as well. The kids had no idea that he kept looking at her, his eyes pleading with her to reconsider her position. Accusing her.

Of what? She had been wronged by her father. Her whole family had. He didn't deserve a second chance, and she had no intention of giving him one. So Ethan could look and disapprove all he wanted. It wouldn't change her mind at all. Martin Fitzgerald would never have anything to do with her children.

Unbidden, their heated discussion from last night came to mind and Theresa groaned. She didn't want to think about it, mostly because she knew somewhere deep down that he was right…

_"Your dad was at the station tonight with your brothers and sister."_

_"I see he's still inviting himself where he's not wanted."_

_"That's not the impression I got from them."_

_"Miguel and Paloma maybe, because they probably are so glad to have him back they don't care what he's done. But Luis? He'll never forgive him."_

_"He's giving him the benefit of the doubt at least."_

_"What makes you say that? Just because he was there doesn't mean Luis wanted him to be."_

_"Luis told me himself. He said he didn't have the time or energy right now to fight him and he's at least giving him time…"_

_"Luis would never say that!"_

_"He did. He said he thought that he'd feel differently, but right now he doesn't."_

_"I guess he forgot that he left us and Mama for another woman. He might have left just to help her get away, but we all know what's been going on since then."_

_"Actually, Martin said he and Katherine aren't now and never have been romantically involved. Luis is choosing to take him at his word for right now."_

_"And I guess you think I should too?"_

_"Well, he seems so sincere. What would it hurt? Couldn't you at least try?"_

_"No."_

_"Honey…"_

_"Never."_

_"Theresaaa…"_

_"End of discussion."_

And then he had just given her that Look. She hated that look. That one that said, "Fine, but I really wish you'd change your mind…"

Like he was disappointed. And she hated disappointing him.

Well, this time he'd just have to get over it. She'd never forgive her father. Never.

"Theresa? Theresa!"

"In the family room Ethan!" What could possibly be wrong? Theresa thought back on the feeling she'd been having, the one where she thought something very wrong was about to happen. She'd been so mad at her father, she hadn't felt it in awhile, but now it came flooding back.

Her husband hurried into the room, a look of disbelief on his face. "You're not going to believe this. Actually you might. I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner…"

"What? What's wrong?" Theresa was becoming alarmed.

"Turn on the TV. Now!"

_"Once again, we have it from an anonymous source close to the Crane Family of Harmony that Julian Crane's attack on the Lopez-Fitzgerald clan continues. This time with the reopening of the case regarding Theresa Winthrop's will. Mrs. Winthrop is the widow of the late Alistair Crane, and was named head of all things Crane upon his death._

_"But since the surprise arrival of Katherine Crane back home late last week, Mr. Crane is saying his father's marriage to Theresa Lopez-Fitzgearld is null and void, therefore she could not stand to inherit everything, making her will null and void as well._

_"It is also being stated from the same source that Katherine Crane is on board with the idea of stripping Mrs. Winthrop of everything she has inherited from her late husband in an act of revenge against Martin Fitzgerald because quote he does not return her affections unquote…"_

"This can not be happening. Ethan, tell me this is not happening!"

Ethan shook his head. "Sorry Babe. If this is true, he just might win this time."


	18. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 

"I don't believe him!" Theresa was furious. "The company is mine! Alistair gave it to me!"

"Yes…I know Alistair left the company to you. But Julian has a point…What are you doing?" Ethan asked as he realized Theresa wasn't listening.

"I'm calling Julian!" Theresa finished dialing and waited impatiently for someone at the mansion to answer. Ethan felt sorry for whoever that would be.

"Mary Ann? This is Theresa. I need to speak with Julian please? Tell him it's important."

As she started pacing Ethan had seat on the couch and crossed one leg over the other. This probably wasn't going to be pretty, and it wasn't going to do him any good to try to talk her out of it now. He might as well make himself comfortable.

At the mansion, Julian grumbled as he answered the phone. What could Theresa possibly want? And want bad enough to interrupt his evening Sherry? "Yes Theresa?"

_"How dare you?"_

Julian frowned as her irate voice screamed at him over the phone line. "What are you talking about?" he asked.

_"So you're just going to act like you don't know? Well you can stop Julian! The coy, innocent act doesn't suit you!"_

"I truly don't know to what you are referring. Now what are you talking about? I really don't have time for your riddles. Just get to the point or I'm hanging up."

_"I'm talking about you blindsiding me on national TV with your plan to take Crane Industries from me! Though I don't know why I'm surprised. You have the manners of a rabid dog, and I should've known that this would be just your style."_ Her voice was dripping with scorn and malice.

It was Julian's turn to be surprised. "I never alerted the media to any such thing! They couldn't possibly know…"

_"Oh they know!" Theresa interrupted. "It's on every news network at we speak. Go ahead; turn on your television. You mean to tell me that you didn't leak this?"_ She finally stopped yelling long enough to realize that Julian wasn't being his usual arrogant self.

Turning on the television, Julian's blood began to boil, as indeed he saw his plan on every newscast. This proved it. There was definitely an informant on his staff. The only people that had known about this were his mother and himself. He hadn't even spoken to his lawyer yet. There was no other explanation.

"Not that I owe you an explanation, but I can assure you of a few things." Julian's voice had regained some of its usual disdain. "One, I didn't leak this story. I don't know who did, but it wasn't me. Two, they are correct. I will be petitioning the court to reopen the case against you, and three, this time I will win! So, you enjoy your time as queen of the world Stepmother. Because it is about to come to an end."

_"Over. My. Dead. Body!"_ Theresa answered, then slammed the phone down in his ear.

As he hung up the phone, Julian shook with anger. But his anger was not at Theresa.

"I will find you." He muttered to himself. "I will find you. And you will rue the day you betrayed the Cranes!"

Sitting in their respective homes, various members of the Lopez-Fitzgerald family sadly watched the news.

"He just never gives up." Luis sounded resigned, and Miguel sat with his head down.

_"Hello? Hey Noah. We just saw it. No, we had no idea."_ Paloma could be heard in the other room taking the call from her boyfriend. _"It's just not fair!"_

Pilar was crying inside. She had prayed for Theresa's protection without knowing why at the time. She guessed this was it. Again, Theresa was going to have to fight Julian about something. And as a mother, Pilar couldn't help but feel that Paloma was right. It wasn't fair. Theresa's time of happiness without any worries had been so short.

In his room at the B&B, Martin was dumbfounded. He knew Katherine had been upset that he didn't feel the same for her as she did for him, but he never thought she'd do something like this. He'd never known her to be mean or vindictive—even when at times when she should've been. To take this out on his daughter…it just seemed so unlike her.

He watched the report hoping to find out that there had been a mistake, but there hadn't been. He sat there, anger growing inside, as the news anchor with perfect hair, and a perfect face that smiled a perfect smile shot his daughter's life to shambles.

_How could she do this? How could she?_ Martin didn't have the answer. But as he grabbed his car keys and left the B&B, he had one thought.

_I didn't protect Theresa before. I have to protect her now._

The angry pacing continued, and though Theresa was fuming, she had yet to say anything.

"Well, what did he say?" Ethan couldn't wait anymore.

Theresa scoffed. "He claims that while he is planning to bring this to court, he didn't leak the story."

_Pace. Pace. Pace._

"Well he might not have directly, but I'm sure he paid off the person that did." He stated logically.

"No. I don't think so." Theresa shook her head to the negative, while continuing to pace. "He was truly caught off guard. His voice gave him away."

Ethan watched Theresa pace and wondered. "If Julian didn't leak the story, and doesn't know who did…who did?"

"I don't even care at this point. The point is—I am not giving up the company. After everything I went through with Alistair it is the least he owes me…oh." Theresa sat in the window seat abruptly and closed her eyes.

"Hey…are you all right?" Ethan sat next to her and reached for her hand. It was cold and clammy. "Are you getting sick?" he asked in concern.

Theresa slowly shook her head. "No, no…it's already going away. I just got dizzy for a minute."

"Maybe you should turn in for the night?" Ethan helped her to stand up and started to lead her from the room.

"No. I'm fine. Just a little tired. I don't need to go to bed right now. I'm fine. Really." She added as he looked at her with questions in his eyes.

"OK. Do you want me to sit with you for awhile?"

"No. You go back to work. I'll just rest here for awhile." And with one last assessing look, Ethan nodded and left the room.

Curled up in the window seat, Theresa looked out into the forest, her mind racing with thoughts. Her father, Katherine, Julian, the company…one after the other they ran until she started to drift off to sleep. Maybe she was more tired than she thought. Before she fell asleep she made a promise to herself.

_I will never let her win!_


	19. Chapter 18

Chapter 18 

_Knock Knock_

"Come in."

Valerie walked through the door to Theresa's office slowly, her hand behind her back. "These papers just came for you. I thought you'd need to see them right away."

"Why? Who are they from?" If Theresa wasn't feeling so sick she might've realized she knew the answer before she asked the question.

"Mr. Crane's attorney."

Theresa let her head fall back against the chair and a small whimper escaped her lips. She had forgotten. Julian was suing her over control of the company. She really didn't feel up to this right now.

"Oh right. I forgot I'd probably receiving papers from him soon. You can just leave them here on the desk. Ethan and I will go over them later." All of this was said without really opening her eyes or bringing her head off the chair.

"Are you OK Theresa?" Valerie's use of her boss's first name spoke of her concern. She never allowed herself that kind of familiarity on a regular basis. "You don't look like you feel too well."

Truth be told, Theresa wasn't sure when she had ever felt this badly. Last night she had fallen asleep in the window seat and she vaguely remembered Ethan coming down from his office and carrying her up to bed. The next thing she remembered was waking up this morning feeling like she was dying. Her whole body ached; she was dizzy, and extremely nauseated. Fatigue? She felt like she could sleep for another week.

Not wanting to alarm Ethan, she hadn't said anything, and made it to work without mishap, but she was wondering if that had been such a wise idea. She couldn't wait to crawl into her pajamas and back into bed.

"Oh, it's nothing. I think I might be coming down with a cold or the flu or something. Could you make me some tea? Maybe that will perk me up a little." She asked.

"Sure. I'll be right back." Valerie left to do as she was bid just as Ethan walked into the office.

"Hey Valerie. Where are you off to in such a hurry?"

"I'm going to get your wife some tea. She said it might make her feel better."

"Feel better? What's wrong with…" Ethan started to ask, but Valerie was already around the corner. Not wasting any more time he went into his wife's office. "Hey Baby."

He sometimes forgot how small she was. Right now she looked tiny in that big chair behind that even bigger desk. She was pale. And with her head back and her eyes closed, she looked very frail.

"Honey what's wrong? You don't look so hot." Concern outlined every movement of his body, every look on his face.

Theresa didn't move. "Well I feel like crap, so I'm not surprised."

Ethan put his hand on her head. "You don't feel like you have a fever. I guess that's a good thing."

"Like I told Valerie, it's probably nothing. It is cold and flu season. And Jane was sick not that long ago. I probably just picked it up from her."

"Why didn't you say something? You should've at least stayed home from work. Being here isn't going to help you get better."

"I didn't think I felt that bad. Maybe once I have the tea I'll be able to get through the rest of the day. By the way, we got the papers from Julian's attorney." She opened her eyes and sat up, even though her head was starting pound.

Ethan rolled his eyes. "Well he certainly didn't waste any time." He picked up the envelope and ripped it open. "It's pretty straightforward. 'Julian Crane vs. Theresa Winthrop in the matter of Theresa Wintrhop's will' blah blah blah. We've been over this. Are you sure you're up to dealing with this today?" Theresa was still looking very ill.

"We don't have a choice. We've got too many other things to worry about to put this off. Oh, thank you Valerie." She reached weakly to take the offered cup from her assistant, who left the couple alone.

Ethan had his doubts, but she was right. They needed to get going on this. "Well, unfortunately Julian wants this taken care of first. Which one, takes our focus off of your brothers, and two might just seal their fate since we won't be able to play the game as well as he can if we lose. And we just might."

"No. I will not lose to Julian or his man stealing, home wrecking mother!" Theresa hoped she sounded convincing. The tea was not making her feel any better. Was it possible she was actually feeling worse?

"Theresa, I don't want to lose either. But we have to be realistic. In terms of the law, we're out of luck."

Ethan was using that voice. The one that she always thought he used when she was trying his patience. She probably was trying his patience. But she didn't care. She was not going to give in to Julian and Katherine.

"Ethan, you know what I went through with Alistair. I deserve something for all that pain."

Ethan didn't say that is she had listened and not married Alistair in the fist place, she wouldn't have had to go through any of that humiliation. Besides, she'd only married Alistair because he'd insisted on marrying Gwen when his heart screamed at him to stop. Her pain was his fault too. Instead he opted for logic, which he should've known wasn't going to make things better.

"Well what about Katherine? Alistair hurt her too."

Theresa looked at him in shock. "I know you didn't just say that to me. Katherine has spent the last twenty years free of Alistair, somehow keeping my father at her side, while my family and I suffered at his hand. And she's doing this because my father doesn't love her. I wouldn't wish Alistair's torture on anyone, but I'm not about to feel sorry for Katherine."

"I'm only suggesting we find some common ground. Maybe if we come to them with something reasonable they won't insist on taking everything. Cause Theresa, Julian has a point. If this goes in front of a judge, they'll probably rule in their favor." Ethan was trying not to get upset, but she wasn't listening.

Theresa sat back in the chair, and fought the wave of nausea that was coming over her. The tea definitely wasn't helping. "Ethan you know Julian as well as I do. There is no common ground. He won't stop until he has everything and we have nothing."

Weighing his next words, Ethan hoped he wasn't digging himself in too deep. "Maybe we should just give it back."

"Excuse me?" Nausea momentarily forgotten, Theresa sat forward in the chair.

"I said, maybe we should just give the company back. Is it really worth all this hassle? I have money from my mom's family, we have what we've already made from Crane, and I can get a job with some law firm. We can just leave all this craziness behind."

"Absolutely not! I will not surrender to Julian or Katherine! And whose side are you on anyway? First you want me to see my father, now you're defending that woman…why…can't you…just…. excuse me…" Theresa ran for the bathroom as the nausea got the better of her.

_"Martin! How nice of you to stop by! Mary Ann? Could you please get Mr. Fitzgerald something to drink?"_

_"Um. No thank you Mary Ann. I won't be staying long."_

_"I was beginning to wonder if I would see you."_

_"Well, I've been pretty busy as you can imagine. My boys are in a bit of a jam."_

_"Yes. I'm so sorry Martin. I know your sons are innocent. I know that no son of yours could commit those heinous crimes, I don't care if they did happen to my grandchildren."_

_"Thank you. I glad you feel that way. Because after the news report I just saw, I wasn't so sure."_

_"News report? No one has asked for my opinion on the cases."_

_"I'm talking about the report about Julian reopening the case against Theresa contesting her will. Do you know anything about that?"_

_She dropped her head._

_"You do. And what about the accusation that you're doing this to get back at me? Because I'm not in love with you? It's all over the news Katherine!"_

_"Martin, I don't know what you're…."_

_"Yes. You do. I've gotten to know you pretty well over the years Katherine. You're lying. How could you do this to my daughter? I thought we had an understanding as far as my feelings for you went. You said you'd accepted it."_

_"I know I did. But I will always love you. And I thought that I could deal with you coming home to your family, but I…just snapped I guess. I can't let you go."_

_"You have to! Katherine. I knew it would be hard for you, but you know how important it is to me to get my family back! This…this is going to make it so much harder! Especially for Theresa! She already hates me. This just gives her one more reason!"_

_"I'm sorry Martin."_

_"Are you? Please! I'm begging you! Talk Julian out of this! Don't take away my daughter's life to punish me! If I ever meant anything to you—please don't do this!"_

_"You are actually pleading on my love for you? You want to use my love to get a favor from me? How could you?"_

_"You want to use my daughter to make me love you? How could you? I will not be pushed around anymore. My daughter called me a coward a couple days ago. And she was right. I'm not going to make that mistake again. You won't get me this way. I'll will help her fight you!"_

_"That company belongs to my children and grandchildren. I'm going to see to it that they get it back."_

_"Well. I would believe that's what you really thought if you hadn't admitted you did this because of me. I can't believe you had me fooled all this time. Alistair did more than hurt you physically. He gave you his warped sense of justice. While I'm not sorry I helped you escape him, I think I'm going to be sorry that I sacrificed my family and twenty years of my life on the run with you."_

Martin had left then without a backward glance, and Katherine had cried. She didn't know when she had changed her position, but all she knew was that she was going to help Julian take back the company from Martin's daughter. When she had gotten control of herself, she turned to find Mary Ann behind her and was surprised. She hadn't realized she was in the room.

_"I thought you could use a cup of tea."_ She had said with a smile.

Katherine continued to sip her coffee and thought about the conversation from last night. Julian was more convinced than ever that there was a mole on their staff. Who could it be?

_"Mary Ann could you get us some refreshments please?"_

_"Mary Ann…the refreshments? I swear, I don't know why we keep that woman on…."_

_"Mary Ann could you please get Mr. Fitzgearld something to drink?"_

_"Mary Ann, Mary Ann, Mary Ann…"_

"Mrs. Crane?"

"Oh! Mary Ann! You startled me!"

"I just wondered if I could get anything for you?"

She looked like such a sweet girl. Big brown doe eyes, small stature. Like she wouldn't give anyone even a hint of trouble. It couldn't be her? Julian always said that those were the ones to watch.

"Uhh…no thank you Mary Ann. I'm fine."

With a small curtsey, Mary Ann left the room. With her back turned, Katherine never noticed how closely she was watched.


	20. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 

She was sleeping fitfully as he lay next to her watching. Her skin's normally healthy glow was gone, and she burned with fever. Her hair lay tangled across the pillow, and each breath to him seemed harder than the last.

_Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe._ He couldn't stop watching; he was afraid he'd miss something.

This was ridiculous. It had been three days. Three days since Theresa had first gotten sick and Ethan thought she was getting worse. She hadn't been able to keep anything down at all. She kicked the covers off only to grab them and wrap them around herself like tin foil a few minutes later. The first day or so, she'd been awake a lot, but now she slept for hours at a time, only to wake briefly and complain that it felt like she hadn't slept at all. All his pleas for her to go to the doctor fell on deaf ears. She was certain that this was just the common flu and that it would run it's course and she'd be fine.

He was beginning to wonder.

_Cough. Cough. Cough. Cough…._

The coughing woke her and she groaned as the body ache overwhelmed her. It was obviously time for more Tylenol. She lay against the pillows trying to will herself up to the bathroom.

_Just ask Ethan. You know he'd get it for you. Just ask him._

She couldn't bring herself to do that. Even now when he'd made it clear all he wanted to do was take care of her, she wouldn't let him. All because of her stupid pride. She was still mad at him for taking Martin's side and suggesting they just give Crane back to Julian.

Why couldn't he see how wrong it was to give the company back? They were making such progress in turning it into something to be proud of. They were going to rebuild the housing district just like Ethan had dreamed. Giving the company back to Julian would be a waste. He'd go back to the same old ruthless ways that had been Alistair's, and Crane Industries would go back to being a company built on success at any price. She definitely wasn't going to cave in for Katherine's sake either!

And Martin—well that should be obvious. Why couldn't he understand that she would never get over what he did to her family? To her? And that she wasn't going to let her children be around a man like that? Why did he have to be so objective, and loyal, and perfect all the time?

_OK Theresa. You can do this._

Unaware that Ethan wasn't asleep and that he was watching her, she slowly moved the covers off and stood at the bedside. The room immediately began to spin, and she grabbed for the post at the foot of the bed. Her ears began to ring.

"Ethan…"

There was no need to call for him. He was already helping her back to bed.

"Ethan really. I think I just stood up too fast. I don't need to go to the hospital…."

"Enough. You're going."

Ethan was bundling Theresa against the cold to take her to the hospital, and she wasn't happy about it. He'd decided enough was enough, and if he had to truss her up like a baby to have his way, he would.

"But…"

"But nothing! This is getting out of hand. You're getting worse, I'm taking you to the hospital, so stop arguing with me about it."

Mrs. Patterson opened the door to the garage as Ethan carried his wife through it to the car and gave instructions over his shoulder. "I'll call as soon as we know something. The kids don't have to go to school today if they don't want to. And like I said, I'll call as soon as I can to talk to them."

"OK. Don't worry about anything here. We'll be fine."

He was sitting at her bedside watching her sleep again. This time she looked relaxed, and he sighed in relief. Dr. Russell had taken one look at Theresa and ordered that she be admitted. Nurses and techs had rushed around starting IV fluids, drawing lab work, and settling her in bed with pain medication to make her comfortable and something to help her sleep.

Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his clasped hand propped under his chin, Ethan thought about how much he loved her. He loved her so much sometimes that it made his heart literally ache.

He remembered one of the last times she'd been in the hospital and how close he had come to losing her, and it made him sick even though this time was nothing like then. Then Jared had practically killed her for leaving him at the altar. Having to remember that incident reminded him of what it really was that had brought Theresa back to him. Maybe it would work this time. Drawing close he brought her hand to his lips.

"I love you Theresa. Do you hear me? I love you."

She didn't wake up, but sighed contentedly, and somehow he knew she had heard him.

"Ethan? How is she doing?"

Ethan turned to see Eve standing in the doorway. "She's still sleeping. I'm glad. She hasn't been sleeping well."

"I'm not surprised." Eve said with a small laugh. "I have the results of all the tests. I was hoping she was awake so I could discuss them with the two of you together. If you want, I can come back when she's awake."

Was she crazy? He'd never be able to wait until then!

"No, No. I'd like to know what you found. I assume you know what the problem is?" Ethan's heart rate picked up in pace as he waited to hear what Eve had to say.

"Yes. Actually, Theresa was right. She has a serious case of the flu."

Ethan looked at the doctor in bewilderment. "OK. That's good I guess. She just has the flu? Are you sure? I mean, I've never seen her this sick before, and you're telling me it's just the flu?"

Eve nodded. "Yes. This particular strain seems especially strong, and many people are getting sicker than you would normally see. Though I'd have to guess that the fact that Theresa is pregnant is probably making her feel even worse."

Ethan had turned his attention back to Theresa and was stroking her forehead, but his head snapped up at Eve's last words.

"What?"

Eve smiled. "You heard me correctly Ethan. You and Theresa are going to have a baby.


	21. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 

_Ugh! I hate the way hospitals smell._

The smell was the first thing that Theresa noticed as she woke up in her hospital room. The next thing that caught her attention was that she felt better. Not great by any standards, but much better than before. When she opened her eyes she had to smile. Ethan was sitting in the chair next to her bed, resting his head on his arms that were draped across her legs, and he was asleep.

He loved her so much. She knew he did. And she hadn't been very nice lately. What was it he was always talking about? Common ground? Well, maybe she should stop being so hostile toward him and help him find it. They had enough to worry about without being at odds with each other. Theresa tried to shift around in the bed without waking him, but it didn't work. He woke up the minute he felt the covers move.

"Hey. How you feeling?" He took her hand and looked at her intensely.

She smiled. "I'm feeling better. I could still sleep for awhile though."

"I think that's probably a really good idea." He was still looking at her steadily, but a definite twinkle had begun to flood his eyes. "I talked to Eve while you were sleeping. She wanted to talk to us together, but I didn't want to wake you."

"Did she tell you that I was right? That this is just the flu?"

"Yeah actually, she did. But she said that there was something else that was making you feel sick." His eyes and the small smile that he couldn't hide gave him away.

"I'm pregnant?" Her voice was a small squeak.

He nodded, smiling fully now.

_I'm pregnant. I'm having a baby. In the middle of all this chaos. My brothers are trying to stay out of jail, Julian is trying to take our livelihood, and Papa wants back in my life…now I'm pregnant too? I don't know if I can do this. Wait a minute! What am I saying? I'm having a baby!_

"Honey?" Ethan was looking at her in concern, some of the joy ebbing from his face.

"It's just a shock I guess. But…OK. We're having another baby!" The tears fell as husband and wife hugged each other.

"Hmmm. Number four. Do you think we're up for it?" Ethan asked.

Theresa kissed his cheek. "You always say that together we can face anything. So I guess we can handle four kids!"

Just then Pilar knocked on the door with Luis, Miguel, Paloma and Noah behind her in the hallway. "Mija? Can we come in?"

"I called them earlier." Ethan offered in way of explanation before answering for her. "Sure. She just woke up."

"I must say you look better than I thought. Though I guess as a mother I always think the worst." Pilar kissed her daughter and everyone else gathered round. Pilar looked more closely. "What is it? You look like when you were little and were trying to keep a secret. Are you…?" She covered her mouth and realization dawned across her face.

"I hope you won't mind becoming a grandma again." Theresa teased.

It quickly became apparent that Pilar didn't mind and there was much talking and laughing going on before Theresa noticed him.

Her father in the doorway.

"What is he doing here?"

The room became deathly quiet and then Luis answered. "He stopped by the station this morning right after Mama called. I told him we were coming to the hospital to see you and of course he wanted to come see you too."

Martin looked contrite. "I know you don't want me here, but when I heard you were in the hospital I had to come. I'm so glad you're going to be OK. And another grandchild is wonderful!"

"You have no claim over this child or any of my children!" The venom in her voice struck him to the core and his shoulders dropped.

"Mija!" Pilar was shocked. "That is not way to talk to your father!"

"This man is not my father! And he is not welcome here."

"Theresa!" Ethan knew that she wasn't on the best of terms with the man, but this was ridiculous.

"Baby Doll, I'm sorry…"

Whatever self control Theresa had left her at that moment.

"Get out!"

Martin left without a backward glance. Ethan gave her a look that clearly said, _"I can't believe you just did that!"_ then followed.

And her earlier desire to find common ground left with him.

"Chief?"

Sam looked up to see one of his rookies standing in front of him.

"Yes?"

"We have the registration on the gun that was used in Fox Crane's shooting." He handed the paper to Sam who looked at it then shook his head and dropped the leaf on his desk in disgust.

"It's registered to Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald."

Pilar was pacing in anger. The rest of the family had retreated to the hallway to give Theresa some time to cool off.

"Theresita! How could you? No matter what your feelings are toward him, he is still your father!"

Theresa sighed tiredly. "Mama, I'm not really up for a lecture right now OK? I'm tired, and frankly I don't think I can handle one more thing. Between Luis and Miguel's trials, Julian and Katherine trying to take the company back, Papa trying to act like he hasn't been gone for most of my life, fighting with Ethan about it all, and now finding out I'm pregnant…"

"What? Fighting? Why would you and Ethan be fighting?" Pilar's tone turned from lecturing to worried immediately. "You can't be getting stressed out Mija. It's not good for the baby."

"I know that Mama!" Theresa tried to take it down a notch. "Look. It's nothing for you to worry about. I'm just saying that with every thing going on right now, I feel like I'm just hanging on. Like it wouldn't take much to make drown me."

Pilar kissed Theresa's forehead. "You try to get some rest. We'll talk about your father another time."

Theresa was too tired to argue anymore. She quickly fell asleep; dreaming of swirling water, sinking ships, and a hand that was barely clinging to hers.


	22. Chapter 21

Chapter 21 

Martin sat down in one of the chairs in the waiting area close to Theresa's room and tried to compose himself. He knew she didn't want him there, but he couldn't bring himself to leave.

"_You have no claim over this child or any of my other children."_

"_This man is not my father. He is not welcome here."_

_No._

"_...not my father…not my father…not welcome here…"_

_No. No._ Martin shook his head trying to dispel the thoughts running through his mind. _She's just angry. She'll get over it. She has to. She has to._

"Mr. Fitzgerald?" Ethan was standing in front of him. "I'm sorry about what Theresa said..."

"No. I guess I deserved it. I haven't been a father to her really. I shouldn't expect anything else from her." Martin looked at his son-in-law. "Why are you here? I'm pretty sure my daughter would be angry if she saw you here with me."

"I'm sure she's figured it out. Truth is we've been arguing about you since you came back to town." Ethan admitted as he sat down.

Martin sat up straight and looked at Ethan determinedly. "No Ethan. I don't want that. Don't put your marriage on the line for me. I'll just hope someday I can make her see how sorry I am."

Ethan looked at him wryly. "Well, I hope you're not holding your breath. It could take a very long time—if ever—before she forgives you." Martin slumped back in his chair and Ethan continued. "I'll try not to let her cut the kids out of your life and keep trying to get her to give you a second chance. But I'm afraid that when it comes to you, Theresa may never forgive and forget."

------------------------------

"Julian?" Katherine walked into his office at Crane. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Julian looked up with a smile. "Of course. Have a seat." He motioned to one of the chairs. "Would you like something to drink?"

"No thank you. I'm sorry to drop in like this, but I wanted to talk to you about something. And I didn't want it to end up in the paper tomorrow." Katherine looked decidedly uncomfortable.

Julian frowned at this. "Yes. Someone is definitely spying on us and telling the media, no doubt for money. I wish I had an idea who it was."

Katherine cleared her throat. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Do you think it could be Mary Ann? I mean, she's the one who serves us the most. You said that she's always slow about her work and that you sometimes have to tell her twice to do things…do you think that maybe she's hanging around looking for things, listening maybe? I hate to even think this of her. She seems so innocent and sweet."

"Well, you just might have something there. I hadn't thought of her because of those very traits you mentioned, but that would be the perfect cover." Julian paused as another thought came to him. "And it wouldn't be the first time she's done something underhanded and sneaky. That kind of behavior is what brought her to us in the first place."

Katherine frowned? "What do you mean by 'that kind of behavior'? And how exactly did it 'bring her to us'?"

Shaking his head Julian refused to answer, but did say, "Well, I think we'll just have to give our little servant a test. And maybe have some fun with Martin in the process."

"Julian? What does Martin have to do with this? His life is already a mess. Don't make it worse." Katherine might've been angry with the man right now, but she didn't want to make things worse than they had become.

"Don't worry about him. He'll land on his feet. His kind always do. You just follow my lead tonight. No matter what."

------------------------------

"OK Dad, what is it?" Ethan had arrived at the police station just as Sam had asked. "Can we make it quick though? I want to get back to Theresa."

"Is she going to be OK?" Sam asked.

Ethan smiled. "Sure. Nothing some rest and about nine months won't cure."

Sam cocked his head to the side at that cryptic remark, then smiled as he hugged his son. "Congratulations! I had no idea you wanted another one. You're going to be pretty busy you know."

"We already are, so what's one more to join the party?" Ethan laughed.

"Well, I'm glad you have good news." Sam's voice and demeanor changed quickly. "Because I don't."

Ethan nodded. "OK. I assume this has to do with Luis or Miguel…what's up?"

Sam picked up the balistics report from his desk. "See for yourself."

Ethan's reaction was much the same as Sam's had been. "Can this get any worse for him? Fox has obviously gone to great lengths to frame Miguel. If we can't find concrete proof of his lies…Miguel is going to jail."

Sam nodded. "Luis too. Have your investigators come up with anything else? I'd hate to think that both Luis and Miguel will go to prison because they were brilliantly set up."

"Well Dad, they say even the best mess up eventually. Let's just hope it's sooner rather than later. Because right now, I'm running out of options. If either of these go to trial, Luis and Miguel might as well head to the prison and save us the hassle."

------------------------------

_"I told you to watch yourself! What the h--- were you thinking dropping that secret like that?"_

"I needed the money! You know how crappy the pay is working for the Cranes, and you didn't do much better!" Mary Anne was tired of having this conversation.

"_I told you you'll get the rest when we got the desired result! Be patient!"_

"Look, I don't have that kind of time. I got bills and fines to pay or I'm going to jail."

"_You won't if you just calm down and wait for the rest of the money!"_

"When? This is taking too long."

_"Like I said. Be patient. And don't blow it by getting the light shined on you! Do you understand?"_

Mary Anne sighed. "Fine. I'll be careful. But this better work."

"_It will. Trust me."_


	23. Chapter 22

Chapter 22 

Theresa opened her eyes and let out a small yelp as she looked into Lily's face, which was only inches from her own.

"Mama wake now!" she exclaimed, and promptly snuggled close so they were cheek to cheek.

Bud and Jane came close too. "Hi Mom. Are you feeling better?" Bud was the first to speak. "Oh. Mrs. Patterson told me to tell you to feel better and not worry about a thing at home."

Theresa hugged her kids close and for the moment ignored her husband leaning over the foot of the bed. "Yes. I just have a bad case of the flu and I'm feeling a lot better. Dr. Russell is taking good care of me."

"Are you coming home soon?" Jane's eyes were teary and her little lip quivered. "I don't like it when you aren't there." She continued to sniff and went into her mom's open arms, and Theresa gave her an extra squeeze.

"Of course I am. I think Dr. Russell is going to let me come home in a day or two.

"When Mom comes home she's going to need lots of rest so we're going to take good care of her right?" Ethan knew she was still mad at him and was using the kids to ignore him. He also chose to ignore it for now.

Looking at her with their family, he was struck again by her beauty. It never ceased to amaze him. He still couldn't believe that he had been lucky enough to get to marry her. Or how much he loved her. Or how much they had come to think alike. They hadn't discussed it, but neither had told the kids they had a new brother or sister on the way. And this little scene with Jane had played at home earlier, and Ethan too had held her for longer than truly necessary. Even when they were at odds they were in sync. Especially when they were at odds. He loved her now as much as ever, even though he was sure that there was a fight in their near future. Between Martin and deciding how to proceed with the fight over Crane, well they could just take their pick.

------------------------------

Julian, Rebecca and Katherine were in the middle of their dinner when he put his plan into motion. He was for once glad that Fox insisted that he and Kay have their own meal. He wanted to start their own traditions with Maria or some such drivel; Julian really didn't follow his logic. But at any point he felt that not having Kay around would be better for this. Mary Ann brought in the next course for the meal and he began.

"So Mother? How did Martin react when he found out you were trying to get our company back from his devious little daughter my father called his wife? No doubt he saw it on the news?"

Katherine looked at Mary Ann, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. "Yes he did. He was most upset. He came by you know. To beg me to change my mind."

Rebecca snorted. "Oh really! He couldn't expect you to leave things in that little Tacosita's hands. I can't stand that she's in charge of everything that's mine!" she complained petulantly.

"Ahem." Julian raised an eyebrow.

"I mean 'everything that is my Pookie's" she quickly amended over her Martini.

Julian took another bite of his pasta and continued. "I think it's even more preposterous that he thought you would help him. After all he did leave you."

Katherine nearly choked on her water at that then looked at Mary Ann who was busy refilling the glasses. Were her eyes playing tricks, or did Mary Ann seem to be listening more closely? "Well, he did plead on my love for him."

Julian shook his head pretending to be very disgusted and Rebecca huffed at the "nerve of that man".

"It just goes to show his kind really have no sense of pride or class. They walk around like the world owes them something. How could he possibly think you'd be willing to do him a favor out of your love for him after he threw it back in your face when he was done using it?"

Mary Ann was clearing the empty dishes from the buffet table now, her actions very slow and deliberate. Could she really be listening? Katherine didn't want to believe it but what else could she think?

"Julian, it wasn't like that. Martin and I…well we just didn't work out. That's all. He didn't use me in any way…"

"Oh please Mother. I'm not naïve, though you seem to be. Of course he used you. A man away from his wife for 20 years has needs. Strong needs that he will fill some way or another. And what more perfect opportunity than a woman who sees him as her hero in every way, and obviously has feelings for him? No doubt he used you till he tired of you, fed you this…song and dance about not being in love with you anymore or his feelings changing or some such nonsense, and was more than happy to come home to his wife."

"And to think he wants everyone to think he and his sons are upstanding moral people! Rebecca shook her head as if she was appalled. "Well, I'm finished. I'm going to go call my Gwenie. I'm sure she'll be happy to know that Theresita is finally getting what's coming to her." Smiling with false sincerity at the others she left the dining room.

Katherine decided that enough was enough. With Rebecca gone, only she and Julian were in the room with Mary Ann, so this was the perfect time to go for it.

"No Julian. It wasn't like that at all. Martin genuinely cares for his wife, and never used me. He does say he doesn't love me, but I thought by helping take the company from Theresa we could at least work out some…_arrangement_ that might be beneficial to us both. But Martin wouldn't hear of it. So we are at an impasse of sorts…"

At that, Mary Ann suddenly finished clearing up and hurried for the first time out of the room. Julian and Katherine looked at each other.

"Good work Mother. Now we'll just wait to see how this plays out…likely in tomorrow's news."

---------------

_He said to be careful. Don't get greedy. You'll have more money than you'll know how to spend soon enough._ Mary Ann was arguing with herself in the kitchen.

_I need the money now though._

_You won't need anything but on orange jumpsuit provided by the government if you get caught!_

_I need to get those fines paid. And why should I spend the rest of my life serving these people without some pay back? Seeing them squirm their way out of their life…makes this job worth it._

_Who's going to care how much Crane gossip is worth when you're behind bars?_

She went about her work steadily, her conscience (such as it was) arguing with one of the Devil's Advocates in her mind. In the end they reached a compromise.

_OK. I won't do it…for a few days at least._

------------------------------

Chris followed Sheridan in his car, careful to stay far enough behind for her not to catch him. He had heard her earlier on the phone making a date to meet someone at the Book Café and he wanted to know whom. He had tried asking her about her plans for the evening, but she had been vague. "Oh, I'm just going to run some errands I forgot this morning." She had said. Chris was willing to bet good money on the fact that she was seeing Luis.

Drawing his mind back to his driving, he saw that Sheridan was pulling into the parking lot of the café. He parked the car a few blocks away, then walked quickly to hide behind a tree that was directly across the street, affording him a clear view into the shop.

Sheridan stood in the doorway. The light played off her hair perfectly, and Chris forgot what he was supposed to be looking for. From the darkness, he watched her face light up, and it all came rushing back. He didn't even have to look to see what had caused her to smile like that. The jealousy was already riding high in his heart. But he followed her gaze anyway.

Luis.

Rage blinded his eyes. Jealousy crashed in on him and he clinched his fist. Suddenly he felt moisture on his palm. Opening his hand to look he saw the blood through the glow of a nearby street lamp. Oddly enough he took a small pleasure in it.

Thanks to all the evidence against Luis that the police department had gathered, he'd be rid of the man soon enough. There was no way even Ethan could get him off. And Luis would be suffering from more than just a little blood on his hands.


	24. Chapter 23

Chapter 23 

Ethan left his office and slowly walked down the stairs. He had several pieces of bad news for Theresa. She'd been home from the hospital for a week and was pretty much back to 100 percent. Which meant that she'd be feeling well enough to put up a fight.

She's been very loving to the kids, and was almost like her old self with me this morning. Maybe we'll be able to discuss this calmly and rationally. Ethan you know better than that. Well, we might as well get it on.

Ethan walked toward the family room, knowing that she was most likely sitting in the window seat, probably reading to one of the girls. He stopped in the doorway, finding the scene to be just as he thought it would be. Theresa was curled up in the window seat with Lily in her lap, and Jane leaning against her arm reading one of their favorite fairy tales—Cinderella. They were all sharing Theresa's favorite red fluffy blanket, the one that she always said was "so cozy". The winter sun shined on them through the glass perfectly and Ethan smiled despite himself. It really was an ideal setting. Maybe he didn't have to wreck it right now. Before he could slip away Jane noticed him.

"Hi Daddy. Come read with us." She moved the blanket and patted the space next to her. Theresa didn't say anything, but her face was open and she smiled.

"There's an offer I can't refuse." Feeling very much like a coward, Ethan picked up his young daughter, took her place on the window seat, and settled her into his lap. He tickled Lily as Jane settled the blanket and turned to Theresa. "So. Where are we?"

"Prince." Lily pointed at the page.

"Yes." Jane made herself comfortable in her dad's arms. "Cinderella is at the ball and she and the prince see each other for the first time. It's my favorite part."

Theresa looked at Jane questioningly. "Really? You never told me that. Why is it your favorite?"

Jane shrugged. "I don't know. I always get tickles up my back when you read it. Do you think that happens sometimes really? You know…not just in stories?"

Theresa looked up at Ethan to find him looking at her knowingly. He dropped a little wink, and she felt herself blush like the young girl she'd been the first time their eyes had met. She turned back to Jane. "You know what sweetie? I know it does." Then she finished the story.

Ethan hated to break up the happy little party, but he needed to talk to his wife. He moved from under the blanket and lifted Jane out of his lap, then reached for Lily. "Girls? I need to talk to your mom for a little while. I want you to go find Mrs. Patterson and your brother…"

"Bud's at Kyle's house" Jane interrupted.

"OK. Go find Mrs. Patterson and see if you can help her with dinner or something."

Jane took Lily's hand and headed for the door, her face telling she was a little put out at being sent away. "What if she doesn't need any help?"

"Then I want you to go to your room and find a way to keep yourself and Jane busy until Mom or I call you. Do you understand?" His voice was stern, and Jane knew better than to argue.

"OK." She left with Lily dragging along behind, and Ethan locked the door behind them.

Theresa's eyebrows raised and her voice was full of innuendo. "Is _that_ what we're talking about?"

Ethan gave her a sly look then turned serious. "Well, you know I always enjoy _that _conversation, but no. That's not what we need to talk about. I just don't want them coming in while we're talking."

"Why?" Theresa was suspicious. "Are we going to fight?"

Ethan sat on the coffee table across from her. "There's a good chance."

Theresa crossed her arms. "OK. Well, let's get started."

"First off, they've set a date for our first hearing about Crane. It's in two weeks, and I think they're going to win." Ethan watched Theresa try to control her temper, then continued. "I also still think we should meet them somewhere in the middle…."

"What middle?" Theresa interrupted. "You know Julian isn't going to stop until I'm a piece of dirt on the bottom of his shoe."

"Yeah, Julian can be ruthless, but the judge might be willing to cut this thing down the middle and rule against him if we bring them something reasonable. Just like we always did before."

Ethan was ever calm, and it drove her nuts. "What do _you _think is fair?"

He ignored the sarcastic emphasis on the word "you" and answered. "Well, since Alistair disinherited all his children and grandchildren, I think the judge will probably name Katherine head of Crane—seeing as the fact she's not dead nullifies your and Alistair's marriage—and leave the appointing of officers and such to her. I think we should concede that point and petition to be left in executive positions and given seats on the Board."

"Where does that leave my will and the provisions I've made for my family and for our kids?" Theresa wanted to know.

"Dismissed. Your will would be null and void."

"Mmmmhmmm." She was about to blow. "So not only do you want me to work for Katherine, you want me to just throw away our kids' inheritance and my plan to take care of Mama?" 

"Well, it's better than ending up with nothing."

Three. Two. One… "Absolutely not!" 

_There she goes._

"I will not surrender to the woman who broke up my family, or the man that will make all our hard work turning this company into a company to be proud of a waste! And my marriage to Alistair won't be for nothing either! I _am_ going to get something to show for all the hell he put me through!"

Ethan shook his head. "But Theresa, if we fight this and the judge rules in their favor, you get nothing! I'm sure Julian will make sure of it. And if Katherine really is doing this as a vendetta against your father, she's going to throw you out the minute we leave the courtroom. It's much more beneficial to try to compromise…"

"NO!"

"…Than try to go for something you probably won't get anyway!" Ethan finished as if Theresa hadn't interrupted him again.

Theresa's eyes were blazing. "You are not listening to me, so I'll say it again. NO! I will not give into Julian or compromise with Katherine. If she wants to try to kick me out of the company I earned by being married to the man she was too afraid to come home to, she can just _bring it on_!" she finished through clenched teeth.

"Theresa…"

"No, Ethan!"

Ethan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Fine. We can discuss this later."

Theresa shook her head. "There's nothing to discuss."

"Yes there is, but we've got something else to fight about right now." Ethan knew this was going to be the big one.

Theresa knew immediately to what he was referring, and just as quickly went on the attack.

"My father is not going to be a part of my life. I will not forgive him. And he will not spend time with my children."

Ethan didn't beat around the bush either. "Theresa that's ridiculous. You have problems with your dad…I get that. But he's sorry. You two need to work it out and leave the kids out of it. Let them get to know their grandfather."

" 'Problems'? We 'need to work it out'?" Theresa's face and voice were incredulous. "Perhaps I haven't been clear enough about what he put us through when he left. Perhaps you didn't quite comprehend how I feel about how he treated me specifically as a child? We don't 'need' to do anything."

Ethan reached for her hand. "Honey. I know how hard it was for you and your family with Martin gone. And I know you felt neglected as a child, and that he didn't love you enough to come home to save you when you married Alistair, and I wish to God I could take all that pain away. But he's sorry about leaving you and he wants to try to make up for it now."

Anger burned brightly in Theresa's eyes. "He can try all he wants, but he's going to fail. Because he can not possibly make up for everything he's done to us—to me—in this lifetime."

"Not if you are insistent on not letting him try. And he doesn't even know how you feel about your childhood. Don't you think you owe him an explanation and a chance to explain himself?"

Theresa pulled her hand away from Ethan's and crossed her arms across her chest. " 'Owe him'? I don't owe him a damn thing! And I can't believe you are suggesting this! I'm your wife! You should be taking my side."

"Baby, I am always on your side!" Ethan leaned forward in frustration. "I love you! I want what's best for you! I want you to be happy always! Hating your father is not going to let you be happy."

"No! Having you tell me I need to give him another chance and that I owe him a chance to explain himself is not letting me be happy!" Theresa put air quotes around the phrases Ethan had used to accompany the sarcasm in her voice.

He took a deep breath. "You will never be happy as long as you let hatred live in your heart. Can't you see that?"

She rolled her eyes. "Your concern is duly noted."

"Fine. Hate your dad if that's what you want to do. But I still don't see a reason for this to keep the kids away from him. He wants to get to know them; they want to see him…I think we should allow it. They've lost too much time together already."

"And who's fault is that?" she asked snidely.

"It's Martin's." Ethan conceded. "But I don't see the point in keeping them apart."

"Oh really? So what's the point in not letting Ivy see the kids? You haven't you know!" Theresa couldn't resist throwing that barb. Ethan was making sense, but she wasn't ready to relent.

"Because Mom won't stop bad mouthing your brothers to whoever will listen and I'm not about to let her bring that poison around them! It's not the same thing!" Ethan was losing control now. Either she truly didn't see the difference or she was choosing not to, and he strongly suspected it was the later. "Now, Martin has asked if he can take the kids out for the afternoon sometime this weekend and I think it's a good idea."

"No! I will never forgive him and he will never spend time with my kids."

"You're being unreasonable. I will not stand back and let your issues with your father keep my children from knowing him!"

"_Your_ children?" Theresa acted as if she hadn't just referred to them as _her_ children twice already.

"Theresa you know what I mean." Ethan was trying to keep his temper in check.

Tears welled up in her eyes. "OK. That's fine. You let _your_ children spend the afternoon with _my_ father. Never mind what _I_ think about it! Since you obviously don't care."

Ethan reached for her then but she moved out of his reach. "Baby of course I care what you think. I love you."

"Do you? Do you really?" Theresa was crying fully now, and her face was inches from his own. "Because if you loved me you wouldn't do this! If you truly loved me…"

She was cut off as Ethan grabbed her by her arms and pulled her the rest of the way to him.

"You were saying?" he asked a minute later. His voice sent shivers up and down her spine, and her lips still burned from his kiss. His fingers were wound in her hair, and both were out of breath. She tried to steady the beating of her heart, but it was no use.

"Nothing." she whispered just before she kissed him again and pulled him back into the window seat.


	25. Chapter 24

Chapter 24 

_From the outside looking in_

_I see two lovers on the boardwalk_

_On the first warm day of spring holding hands—_

The music flowed out of the car speakers in a haunting melody and took Ethan back. He and Theresa had held hands as they walked along the boardwalk on the wharf many times. Too many times to count actually. And he'd always felt like he had the first time—he couldn't believe that he was there with her…

_"Come on! Take your shoes off!"_

_"Why?"_

_"Why? Because you can't walk on the beach with your shoes on! It's a rule!"_

_"It is?"_

_"Yes! Haven't you ever walked on the beach before?"_

_"Of course! But I've never taken my shoes off…" Such a thing had never occurred to Ethan, and he wasn't sure the idea appealed to him now._

_"What? OK. We have to fix that right now! You have not lived until you walk bare foot in the sand." Theresa practically tackled him to the ground._

_"Hey what are you doing?" Ethan hit the sand and she had fallen on top of him, their arms and legs tangled together, and she promptly disolved into a fit of giggles. The giggles had done it._

_"You're not going to give this up are you?" He looked up into her eyes. They were shining and she smiled mischeviously as she shook her head from side to side. It reminded him of when she took him to sit in the tree in her backyard, and he knew he'd give in now too._

_"The things you make me do…" he sat up with a shake of his head and took off his shoes..._

And he'd never worn shoes on the beach since. Ethan smiled slyly to himself. Theresa had gotten him to do several things on the beach that he never thought he would. The song continued and brought him out of the past…

_But when I look again_

_There is something missing from this picture_

_That I don't understand._

_From the outside looking in everybody sees_

_A couple so in love, yeah that's just you and me._

_But from the inside looking out_

_Everything is different baby_

_And I can't figure out_

_If you can even see it maybe…_

That perfect couple on the beach sure hadn't been around lately. Except for the part about one of them not being able "to see it maybe", the singer could be singer about he and Theresa. Only they knew that things weren't right between them.

_You could fix that. All you have to do is tell Martin that he's not welcome in the kids lives and promise to fight Julian with everything you have and everything will go back to normal._

Ethan actually spent some time thinking about this. He could take on Julian just to make her happy even though they were probably going to lose. It wouldn't be the worst thing not working at Crane anymore, and he wondered if Theresa really cared as much as she said or if it was just the principle of the thing.

He shook his head. No. He had a principle too. As much as she hated it, Katherine's reappearance nullified Theresa's marriage to Alistair and the law was clearly on Katherine's side. They should work with it instead of fighting it.

Martin was the bigger issue. Yeah, he had a lot to answer for as far as his actions of the past were concerned. But he seemed completely sincere in his explanations, so far they seemed to be the truth, and he most definitely seemed sincere about getting to know his grandchildren. When he had dropped them off at the B&B, the look on Martin's face had been priceless. And the way he had thanked Ethan just before he left had let him know that Martin knew and appreciated what this was costing him. He couldn't take that away from him. And in truth didn't really want to.

So. There it was. Theresa wouldn't hear of it his way, and he couldn't go along with hers. Now what?

_We've still got a lot worth saving_

_Let's find each other now_

_Before we throw it all away_

_Oh, I still believe we can go back again_

_Be the lovers we see_

_From the outside looking in._

Ethan sighed. There had to be a way to fix things. He just didn't see how. Well, he didn't have time to figure it out now. He was at his destination.

------------------------------

Miguel was pacing as Ethan walked up to him and he knew that there was no doubt. It was definitely a family trait.

"I see the detectives are already here?" he asked.

Miguel nodded. "Harmony's and the private investigators as well. They can actually invade my privacy like this?"

Ethan nodded and reached for the papers in Miguel's hand. "Yep. This is a valid search warrant for your work locker. They've actually done you a curtesy by waiting until they saw me drive up. Leagally they don't have to wait for anything as long as they have this piece of paper."

Miguel scowled. "I just can't wait until this is over. They're not going to find anything anyway. I don't have a gun."

"Are you sure about that?" Sam stood before them, his face grim, one of the detectives by his side.

"What do you mean am I sure about that? I should know if I have a gun or not." Miguel answered testily.

"So this," Sam paused as the detective brought out and evidence bag containing a gun for Miguel to see. "Isn't yours?"

Ethan shook his head in disbelief as Miguel groaned. "We've got to be freakin kiddin me!" Miguel muttered under his breath.

"Where did you get this from Dad?" Ethan had to ask.

"From your client's locker. I supervised the search myself and was standing right there when this detective pulled it out."

It was the answer Ethan expected and he turned to Miguel. "Is this your gun?"

_"No!"_ Miguel snapped. "I do not own a gun, and I have no idea where this came from!"

Sam looked at Miguel sadly. "Well, yours or not, it was found in your locker, so it's going into evidence against you. And standard procedure is that I have to take you down to the station for questioning. I'm sorry son"

Miguel looked defeated. "It's OK Chief. I know you're just doing your job."

Ethan patted Miguel on the back. "I'll follow you to the station. OK."

Back in his car Ethan's shoulders dropped. It appeared that Fox hadn't missed a thing. At this rate he had no idea how he was going to prove Miguel's innocence.

------------------------------

Theresa threw aside the book she had been trying to read and started pacing around the family room.

_How could he? How could he do it?_

She knew that Ethan was serious about his position on her father, but she didn't think he'd actually take the kids to see him today. She thought he'd at least let it go this week!

_He knows how I feel! How could he just disregard my feelings like that?_

Pace. Pace. Pace.

_Maybe he has a point. Maybe I should at least give my dad the benefit of the doubt. Everyone else is. Even Mama. And if anyone shouldn't it should be her._

To the window. Back to the couch. To the window. To the couch. Maybe some music would help. Theresa walked to the stereo and turned on the radio.

_From the inside looking out_

_I'm watching our love slip away_

_And I can't figure out_

_How to reach you, what to say_

_Oh it's killing me_

_What nobody sees…_

Tears filled her eyes. Ethan. Did someone write this just for them right now?

_Let's find each other now_

_Before we throw it all away_

_Oh I still believe we can go…_

_Baby Doll…_ Right there in the middle of the music Theresa heard it as clearly as if Martin was standing in the room.

_Baby Doll…Baby Doll…_

_No. He meant it as a loving nickname._

_Baby Doll…_

_Stop. He loved you too. He didn't realize he wasn't paying as much attention to you._

Pace. Pace. Pace. Faster.

_Baby Do…_

_No. I won't think about this! I won't!_

But she couldn't stop the taunting chant, and soon she was filled only with rage.

_No. I do not want him in my life. I do not want him in my children's lives. Ethan had no right to take them to him._

_I will never forgive it!_


	26. Chapter 25

Chapter 25 

"And then after lunch, Papa took us hiking in the woods, and Mom it was so cold! But we had so much fun!" Bud couldn't stop talking about his afternoon with Martin, and judging from the way Jane was jumping up and down she was anxious to tell the story as well. Lily was sound asleep in her mother's arms.

"But afterwards, we went back to his room and had hot cocoa and donuts from the bakery. We stopped there on the way home from lunch. And Papa said that if it's OK with you Mama we can spend another day with him sometime. Can we Mom? Can we? Can we?" Jane was now bouncing up and down with her hands clasped pleadingly in front of her. Bud didn't say anything, but his eyes spoke of his suppressed excitement.

From his place in the easy chair Ethan could see that Theresa wasn't too pleased with this line of questioning or the conversation in general, but was trying not to show it. In fact she was looking to him for help out of the situation. He looked back at her steadily without saying a word. This was her battle to fight. He wasn't going to help her out this time.

Theresa squirmed inwardly. What was she supposed to do now? They obviously had had a good time, and Ethan obviously was just going to sit there and let her be the bad guy if she said "no". That made her even more angry with him. He had no right to sit there and judge her about this. He had no idea what is was like growing up poor without a father, so couldn't have any idea what it was like to just have him show up twenty years later and demand a place in your life!

"Umm—well—I guess we'll have to see when the time comes." That was all she was willing to commit to and she hoped the kids would leave it at that.

"Yes!" Bud jumped up and pumped his fist in the air. "That means we can!"

"No. I didn't say that!" Theresa tried to interrupt his and Jane's versions of the Happy Dance, but they didn't seem to mind.

"No, but you said 'we'll see' and that's just as good as 'yes'!" Bud answered her confidently. Suddenly he stopped, sniffing the air. "Is Mrs. Patterson making cookies?"

"Yes!" Jane squealed and ran for the kitchen with her brother not far behind.

"Wait! It's too close to dinner time for cookies and you already had donuts…oh who am I kidding?" Theresa shook her head. Standing, she turned and tucked Lily into the window seat to continue her nap, sending her husband a cold look.

Ethan looked back unmoved. "So…there it is. The Glare of Death."

"You knew how I felt about the kids spending time with him. And you took them anyway." She stood facing him now with her arms crossed defensively across her chest.

"I believe your last words on the subject the other day were _'Fine. You take your children to see my father.'_" Ethan's look was just as steady. "I knew you hated the idea, but since I didn't see anything wrong with the plan, I took you at your words at face value."

Theresa scoffed. "So basically you used the words I said in sarcasm during the heat of the moment to do exactly what you wanted to? Regardless of how I felt? I never knew you could be so uncaring."

That gave Ethan pause. As soon as the words had come out of her mouth that night, he knew she didn't really mean them. But since he felt she was being unreasonable, he'd disregarded how she felt and done what he felt was right. Now that he was looking back on the action, it did seem thoughtless and uncaring. Theresa was really hurting here, and he had in effect said, "I don't care what you're going through." And of course that wasn't how he felt at all. But she needed to see his side too. He chose his next words carefully.

"You're right, and I'm sorry. I do care very much how you feel and I'm sorry that I made you think otherwise. But…" Ethan's heart sank. Theresa had been ready to forgive him until she heard him say the word "but". He could tell by the sinking of her shoulders and narrowing of her eyes. "But, I do disagree with you. I think your father should be given a second chance to prove himself, and the kids should be allowed to know their grandfather. I think you should talk to your father, and tell him everything you told me. Let him know how much his leaving hurt you, and about how you felt he treated you as a child. Give him the chance to make it better for you. That's what I think you should do. But I'm going to leave it in your hands. You handle it with Martin and the kids from here on out. Whatever you decide on this is how it will be. Is that OK?"

"So you're just going to let me take the fall for breaking the kids' hearts?" Theresa didn't look anymore satisfied with that option than before.

Ethan nodded. "I'm sorry if you see it that way, but this has to be your decision, and I think you should be the one to explain it to everyone. You said you feel like your father still sees you as that seven-year-old with pigtails. This is your chance to show him you aren't. Either way you decide."

------------------------------

Julian threw the newspaper over his shoulder and reached for his glass of sherry. Maybe he and his mother had been wrong. Maybe Mary Ann really wasn't the one spilling all the Crane secrets. Since the set up at dinner nothing had appeared in the news about Martin and Katherine's past together. Not even a blurb on the back page. Maybe his warning had scared the individual into stopping their snooping. Julian wasn't sure whether to be happy about that or not. It wasn't enough to know that the secrets weren't getting out anymore. He wanted to know how they'd starting getting out in the first place.

_Get a grip Julian old boy. Let it go for now. You've got other things that are more important at hand. Get the company back from Theresa and finish helping Fox put Miguel behind bars. Then you can devote your attention to finding out who's responsible for airing the family laundry._

------------------------------

_"Hmmm. Fancy's finally asleep. That's good. Whew. It's awfully hot in here. I wonder if the thermostat is broken? Maybe I'd better go check."_

_Luis stood up, but suddenly the room tilted and he quickly sat back down._

_"Heh. I must've drank more wine than I thought."_

_His eyelids suddenly became very heavy. "I guess I'm more tired than I thought too."_

_He lay down on the couch….._

Luis sat bolt upright in his bed, cold sweating beading on his forehead and his breath coming in gasps. Looking around at the familiar surroundings of his bedroom, he laid back and tried to calm down.

It was just a dream. It was just a dream.


	27. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

_"Fancy's sleeping… it's hot in here… more wine than I thought…hey!…"_

Luis struggled awake and tried to calm the beating of his heart. It had been about two weeks, and he kept having the same dream. It was always about that night in Fancy's room. He always saw clearly the events of that night up until lying down on the couch, and then he always woke up in a cold sweat before he saw anything else, his heart pounding as if he had just run a marathon. Fearing sleep, he got up and went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator more out of habit than actual hunger. Spotting Pilar's homemade guacamole and left over enchiladas from dinner, his stomach growled and he decided a snack would be nice after all.

He put the food in the microwave, punched start, and reached for the chips to go with the guacamole. What was this all about? Why was he dreaming the same dream? And why did he keep waking up in a cold sweat from it?

_Bing. Food was done._

He sat down and the table and started to eat, but he still felt uneasy. What had really happened that night?

------------------------------

The tense silence in the car was starting to get to him. Ever since that afternoon the kids spent with Martin, the entire interaction between them had been ranging from almost normal, to fighting, to polite acquaintances, and it was starting to wear on Ethan. This hearing wasn't making things easier. Theresa refused to hear anything that wasn't about fighting Julian and Katherine with guns blazing. She would not accept the very real possibility of defeat, and compromising? She laughed at that. So he'd done the best he could to prepare a case to that end, but he didn't really believe in it. His mistake had been telling Theresa that…

"_What do you mean 'you're not really sold'?"_

"_Theresa, I told you I don't think we can win this…"_

"_So you do less than you would normally just to say you tried?"_

"_No! You know I wouldn't do that! I'm just not sure the judge is going to buy it."_

"_You know what, if you're going to be a downer about it, maybe I should find someone who isn't and is going to commit one hundred percent to winning!"_

"_Theresa, stop! That's just ridiculous!"_

"_Oh so now you think this is ridiculous?"_

"_No! I was just saying that hiring someone else to do represent you is ridiculous."_

"_Really? I'm not so sure. Since you're 'not really sold'._

"_OK, that's enough! Just sit down and listen! IF we're going to win, what I've come up with is the only way. It's the only argument I can think of that might win over the fact that Katherine is alive."_

" '_Might'?"_

"_Yes, might. So I think we should come up with a plan B. Some sort of compromise…"_

"_For the last time Ethan, NO! I will not compromise, so just stop bringing it up...!"_

That was a couple of nights ago, and they'd barely spoken since. The light turned red, and he came to a stop, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel. Theresa sighed and gave him a sideways glance (it usually annoyed her when he did that) but didn't speak. Now it was Ethan's turn to sigh. Even having her yell at him would be better than this silence. The light changed to green and as he drove on toward the courthouse Ethan could only hope that whatever happened today, they could find a way to get back to their normal lives.

------------------------------

"Hello? I told you never to call me! Nevermind. Since you did, meet me at the Book Café at seven o'clock tonight. Yes, you're getting your money! You better be careful. I might decide not to finish paying you at all! And wouldn't it be a shame if this all turned out to be your idea and the police arrested you instead of Miguel?"

Fox hung up the phone with more force than truly necessary, swiveled his chair around and gazed unseeing out of the window of his Crane office. This was getting on his nerves. This constant planning and staying one step ahead of the police. Why had he let his father talk him into this anyway? If he'd had his way, Miguel would've been dead a long time ago.

_But then you would've been in jail and the whole point is to be with Kay. Don't get overanxious. You do that, you make a mistake, and lose Kay and Maria forever. Settle down._

"Mr. Crane?" Fox's assistant walked in. "I need you to sign this, initial these, and approve those." She handed him various folders of papers as she spoke. "And we have a problem with the conference call with Jason from Ironworks. He would like to reschedule it for early afternoon."

"That's a call that could last hours! That's why we scheduled it for this morning! And I really need to get out of here on time tonight." Fox was trying not to panic. "Can we reschedule for another day?"

"You could always do that, sir. But I thought you said your father as adamant that this deal be kept on track?" the assistant pointed out timidly.

"Oh that's right." Fox growled low in his throat. "Fine. Set it up for this afternoon. I'll just rearrange my plans for this evening."

------------------------------

Theresa looked over at her husband sitting next to her in the judge's chambers. He was drumming his fingers against one knee as he bounced the other in rhythm. It was his tell tale sign. Whenever he was anxious or uncomfortable or bored she always knew, even if his face didn't give him away. Usually she'd reach over and hold his hand and he'd look sheepish at being caught out, but it always did the trick.

_Reach over. Take his hand._

Theresa wanted to; she wanted to feel close to him again. But she wouldn't allow herself the luxury. She was still angry with him. Angry that he took her father's side against her. Angry that he didn't support her in her fight for Crane. Not really. He was only here to make her happy, not because he believed in it.

_But he's here. He prepared a case that might win even though he thinks you're wrong. He's still trying to make you happy. Why isn't that enough for you? Come on. Take his hand. Come on. Just reach over…and take his hand._

Something inside her ached to do it, but she couldn't make her arm obey. She just couldn't.

Julian and Katherine arrived just then. "So Ethan. I would've thought you'd have more sense than to fight this. You're a good lawyer; you know I'm right." Julian's voice was confident, and if Theresa weren't staring through the open doorway she no doubt would've had a smart comment to give.

Outside in the corridor was her father. Their eyes met for just a moment before the door closed, and his spoke of his grief. Theresa felt the anger that was always simmering below the surface boil over.

_See? He can't even support me now! Nothing is ever going to change. I will never forget and most definitely never forgive!_

------------------------------

"_So you're saying that Martin and Katherine did indeed have a twenty year affair, and Katherine wants to continue it even though Martin wants to go back to his wife? And that she's helping her son get the company back to try to force him into doing it?"_

"_Yep." _Mary Anne couldn't keep the satisfaction out of her voice. She loved bringing down the Cranes! And they pay wasn't too bad either.

"_Ha ha. This is going to look real good in tomorrow's paper! Thank you!"_


	28. Chapter 27

Chapter 27 

"As you see Your Honor, my mother Katheine is very much alive and well. Therefore my father's marriage to Theresa here could not be legal, nullifiying my father's will and in turn her's as well." Julian finished will an air of one who was sure of his victory. Sure that this hearing was nothing but a formality.

"I'm well aware of the law Mr. Crane and the facts of this case." The judge answered blandly before turning to Ethan and Theresa. "Mr. Winthrop? You have a rebuttal I assume?"

"Ahem. Yes Judge Callahan, I do."

Theresa thought he looked very calm. Especially since he didn't think this was the right decision. What was he going to do?

"While I agree that the law appears to be on the side of the Crane family on this matter, I'd like to submit that Mrs. Crane has no claim to the company whatsoever."

"What in the world are you talking about?" Julian sputtered in disbelief. Katherine was obviously shocked and even Theresa's eyes had gotten round. This did not sound like the Ethan she had been arguing with.

Judge Callahan leaned back in his chair. "Interesting. On what grounds?"

"On the grounds that Mrs. Crane abandoned the family twenty years ago with no intention of ever returning, and until recently she showed no interest whatsoever in the business or in being Mrs. Alistair Crane." Ethan answered.

"I left for my safety! It can hardly be classified as abandoning!" Katherine quickly tried to explain. "And I couldn't return or even contact any of my family or friends in Harmony; Alistair would've surely killed me!"

"Fine. But there has been plenty of time since Alistair has died; you could've come back the minute you heard the news. He obviously wasn't a threat anymore."

"Mr. Winthrop has a point Mrs. Crane. Why didn't you come back right away?" Judge Callahan was curious.

Theresa began to relax. Ethan really had done his homework. Why had she doubted him?

Katherine dropped her eyes. "I convinced Martin that it would be better not to return to Harmony since everyone thought we were dead anyway."

"Which leads me to my next point" Ethan began again. He rested his hand on the arm of Theresa's chair as he sensed her tense at Katherine's last statement. "Alistair Crane took steps to have Katherine declared dead leagally. That legally freed him to marry another woman and name her beneficeary of whatever he chose. In any point, I think it proves his thoughts on his and Katherine's marriage."

"My father would never have chosen Theresa had he known my mother was alive, Judge. My mother was bred to be a Crane wife. He only picked Theresa because he thought she had the only heir worthy of the Crane name! If he had known that the boy wasn't a Crane, he wouldn't have ever left him a dime!" Julian looked at Ethan, willing if he could arrows through the younger man's body.

"Which brings me to my third and final point. Alistair disinherited all his children and grandchildren and left it to a third party. He did not make any specifications as to the DNA that party had to posess when he made his will. Regardless of if he'd married Theresa or not or if Katherine had been in Harmony or not, it wouldn't have had any bearing on who he left the company to and in what manner he did so."

Ethan sat back and hoped he had done his job. It was the best argument he could come up with. He sure was tired of this arguing though. If he had his way he'd take his family, they'd walk away from Crane Industries and never look back. It was not worth it to him.

Judge Callahan was quiet for a moment, than began to speak. "This case has been brought up more times than I can count and I'm sure that all the parties involved would like to have some closure on this issue. Since this is my desire as well, I am not prepared to make a decision about this now. I will consider all the arguments presented today as well as the rulings from the past and will give my own ruling at this time tomorrow."

------------------------------

"Where are you meeting him? And how will I know it's him? OK. Don't worry Son. I'll handle it."

"Is Fox OK?" Katherine asked in concern as Julian clicked his cell phone shut.

"He's fine. He just needs me to take care of something for him. Come on. I'll have the driver take you home first."

------------------------------

Theresa sat back into the exam table and tried to get comfortable. As if that were possible.

"Can I get you something?" Ethan was caring as always.

Theresa shook her head. "No. I'm fine." She watched as he nodded and sat in the chair beside the table.

"Um. Ethan?"

"Yeah?"

"You were really good in there today. And I know that you didn't really want to do this. So. Thanks."

He reached for her hand and intwined his fingers with hers. "I'll always do my best for you. You know that."

She nodded.

"But are you sure this is what you want? I hate using Katherine's misfotune against her…"

Theresa pulled her hand away and gave a small chuckle. "You just couldn't let it go. Katherine's misfortune? Some of her misfortune was of her own making you know!"

"Well she _was_ running from Alistair. We know how ruthless and mean he was. He was practically the Devil Incarnate!" Ethan pointed out.

"Yes! I know! I was married to him!"

"So, what would you have done differently if he hadn't died?" he asked.

She turned away from him, a scowl twisting her face. There was that logic again. She didn't want to be logical. It was easier to point fingers at everyone else, to see the wrongs in everyone else's behavior than to examine her own failings and inconsistancies.

She wanted Ethan to assign blame too. She wanted him to be irrational for once. Yeah right! That would never happen.

"Theresa?"

He was actually waiting for an answer. What was she supposed to say?

"Ethan. Theresa. Sorry to keep you waiting." Eve walked in finally, and Theresa saved from answering. "It's been crazy today."

"No problem Dr. Russell. We have all the time in the world for this baby." Theresa said a little too brightly. But Eve noticed she didn't let on.

"Well good. I want you take take it easy with this pregnancy. Especially now at the beginning. You and your family are dealing with a lot of stuff, and I know you Theresa. You're going to want to be right in the middle of things. Well, I'm ordering you to rest. If you have to cut back work or some other things to make that happen, you do it. Understand?"

Theresa squirmed. "Well…"

"I'll make sure she rests Eve. Don't worry." Ethan promised.

"Good. Well, I think we're far enough along today to hear the baby's heartbeat, so shall we try?"

Eve set up the equipment as Theresa lay back on the table, and Ethan stood by. He held her hand again, and it felt natural. Even though they had just been fighting.

"OK. Here we go." Dr. Russell applied the cold gel to Theresa's abdomen and then placed the doppler probe over it.

Nothing.

Theresa's pulse started to pick up.

Sliding the probe across the gel and Theresa's stomach, Eve tried in a second spot, than a third.

Still nothing.

"Oh, come on now. Where are you hiding?" Eve asked playfully. She tried again, and this time the distinct beating of a heart was heard.

Theresa's eyes closed against the sudden rush of tears. "There it is." She breathed in relief, but Ethan noted the concern on Eve's face.

"Eve? What is it? What's wrong?"

Theresa's eyes flew open and she looked at Eve. She was still listening very closely almost as if she couldn't hear anything.

"Eve? What's wrong? That is the baby's heartbeat right?"

"No Theresa. That's your heartbeat. I'm sorry, but I don't hear the baby's heart at all."


	29. Chapter 28

Chapter 28 

Tears filled Theresa's eyes and she gripped Ethan's hand tighter. "Are you sure Dr. Russell? Are you sure that you can't hear it at all?"

"Are you sure you only hear Theresa's heart?" Ethan felt like he was suffocating. He didn't even notice that Theresa's grip was cutting off the blood flow to his fingertips.

Eve looked at them soberly as she reached for her stethoscope, placed it against Theresa's chest and began to count, watching the sweeping hand of her wristwatch count out fifteen seconds. "I'm sure. The heartbeat was too slow to be the baby's and matches the rate I just counted for Theresa. I'm sorry. I didn't here your child's heart at all."

"Dear God please! This can not be happening." It sounded like his voice—kind of. Ethan's throat was closing, and his mouth had suddenly gone dry. He looked over at his wife. She had her head turned away from the others in the room, her free hand covering her face.

"Look, I'm not going to lie. This could very well be the worst case scenario. But maybe we're just off on how far along she is. Theresa are you sure of your dates?"

Theresa looked back at Eve and tried to think. "I thought so. I've been so stressed out lately…I guess I could've made a mistake."

Eve nodded. "OK. Well, the only way were going to find out one way or the other is to do an ultrasound and see what's going on. Wait here, and I'll go set everything up."

The closing of the door as Eve left the room was loud. Too loud. It carried an echo of doom to Theresa's ears. This was it. Miguel and Luis, the will and Crane, her father, and now this. Losing her child…this would be more than she could bear. She really would drown. This must be what the sinking ship and choppy waters and feeling that something bad was going to happen in their lives was all about.

She couldn't stop the tears as she prayed deep in her heart. _Please God. Please don't take my baby!_

-------

Ethan turned back to Theresa as Eve left the room. She was crying silently, big tears smearing her makeup as they rolled down her cheeks. For the first time he didn't know what to say to comfort her. He didn't know what to do to make the pain and fear go away. How could he when his own worry and panic were threatening to smother him? They couldn't lose this baby. This child, this pregnancy represented something good. It represented hope. It was proof that no matter what was happening right now, the future was always full of hope.

It felt like an eternity before Eve came back the Ultrasound technician, the portable version of the ultrasound machine in tow, but it had really only been a few minutes.

"OK." Eve tried to sound positive, or at least as if she didn't expect the worst. "Let's see what we're dealing with."

_------------------------------_

_Sigh._

This was crazy. Two weeks to film a news segment for Media Arts class, and he didn't have a thing.

Well, he had an interview with the cafeteria lady reveling the mystery behind the Mystery Meat, but that wasn't good enough.

Not good enough for Jordan Campbell, editor and chief of the **Harmony High Talon**. Especially since these videos were going to be shown on Public Access television tonight. Jordan didn't care that probably only their parents and a few residents of the local nursing home would actually be watching the broadcast. And the old folks only if they could stay awake that late. He was going to be the biggest news anchor since…well, he didn't know exactly. But he was going to be big. And his first news broadcast had to be the best.

He sat in a deserted corner of the Book Café took a drink of his black coffee. The bitter liquid burned all the way down, and he gagged slightly at the aftertaste. How did the all the big reporters in those old movies drink this stuff anyway? It was already five o'clock in the evening, and they had to have the tapes in by six thirty. Mystery Meat it was then.

Just as Jordan was about to leave, he caught a glimpse of a man sitting on the couch against the back wall trying not to look conspicuous. His eyes were darting back and forth looking around the room, and though he was sitting in a relaxed pose, his fingers drummed a steady beat on the cushion beside him. The man looked up and saw Jordan looking at him and he nodded a greeting before training his eyes on the doorway.

Jordan's own eye's narrowed. Was it his imagination or did this guy look a little uncomfortable when he thought he was being watched? What was up with this guy? He looked familiar too. Jordan looked closer and tried to remember if he had seen him before, then felt foolish as it dawned on him.

It was that Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald that they said tried to kill Fox Crane. Jordan had to give him his props. Showing his face around town and still telling everyone he was innocent. Maybe he was. As a serious reporter himself, Jordan prided himself on trying to keep an open mind, but even he had to wonder. What with the amount of evidence piling up against the poor guy? More on a whim than anything, Jordan reached for his video camera, and acting as if he was going to visit the men's room, positioned himself so he could see out into and hear the goings on in the café without being seen. Then he trained the camera on Miguel. Who knew? Miguel was such a hot story; maybe he'd get something interesting.

Twenty minutes later, Jordan left the Book Café, grinning hugely at his good fortune.

_Jordan, Jordan, Jordan! You just caught the best story in class! And in enough time to make it into the broadcast too!_ He hopped into his beat up VW bug drove for home. But not before making a quick phone call.

"Yes…Harmony PD? I need to speak with Chief Bennett please. It's about the Miguel Lopez-Fitzgearld case."


	30. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

_It's hot in here…more tired than I thought…too much wine…_

Luis wasn't any closer to figuring out how the dream ended or what it meant, and frankly his head hurt from trying to figure it out. He simply couldn't remember. He kicked a stray coffee cup out of the way as he walked along a deserted path in the park. The cold air wasn't doing anything to clear his head. "What happened that night?" he asked himself. He stopped walking and leaned his back against a nearby tree. Closing his eyes, he tried again.

_It's hot in here….whoa…had more wine than I thought…Fancy! I thought you were asleep…hey!_

Luis's eyes flew open. _"Fancy! I thought you were asleep"…._ That was new. He was remembering Fancy's face hovering over him on the couch. But that couldn't be. She had said in her statement that she had been sleeping and awakened to find him gone. If they really had been intimate that night, why didn't she mention it? But if it wasn't Fancy, then who was it?

Luis had another thought niggling at the periphery of his mind. An idea that would explain at least what had happened even if not how really, but he refused to give it birth. Refused to actually allow it to take form in his head. Because that just couldn't be what had really happened. That could not possibly have happened to him.

------------------------------

"Can you please go check on him Aunt Sheridan? Ethan won't let me anywhere near him, and I miss him. It's just wrong that we can't be together when we're obviously both victims in this whole mess!"

Fancy sat down on Sheridan's living room couch with her usual spoiled pout and Sheridan rolled her eyes. What was obvious was that Fancy was all wrong for Luis, and her behavior right now proved that she was much too young to be with him. He needed a strong, capable woman, not some spoiled brat of a child. Of course Sheridan was forgetting that she had been a spoiled brat too when she first met Luis.

"Of course I'll go check on him for you. You know you don't have to ask." Sheridan was at her most understanding. "And Ethan is just trying to do what's best for Luis." _Thank you Ethan. At least I know Fancy isn't getting anywhere near him. _Sheridan thought, then said, "I just hope Ethan can prove that Luis is innocent."

"You think Luis is innocent even with all the evidence to the contrary?" Chris was angry, and tired of hiding it. He walked over to where the ladies were sitting and stood with arms folded, giving Sheridan a cold look. "There's DNA Sheridan. You can't argue with DNA and it matches Luis one hundred percent. Luis did this!"

"What? How dare you?" Fancy was outraged and stood toe to toe with Chris. "Luis would never hurt me! Or any other woman for that matter! Luis didn't rape me!"

Sheridan nodded. "For once we agree. Luis isn't capable of anything this horrible. He is the most loving, gentle, caring man I've ever known--"

"_Excuse me?"_ Chris interrupted incredulously. "The most loving, gentle, caring man you've ever known? Where does that leave me exactly? Oh never mind. It leaves me where I've always been. In Luis's shadow."

"That's not what I meant honey." Sheridan hugged Chris, who didn't hug her back.

"That's exactly what you meant. I can't even begin to count the number of times that I've heard about you and Luis and your great love over the ages. I guess that you really can't let that kind of thing go."

"Chris…"

"No. It's fine. Forget it." Chris grabbed his car keys and headed for the front door, then stopped. "And you know what, this whole thing's a waste. Luis is going to jail. Then what? Are you going to still be pining for him?"

"Chris, I'm not pining for him. I'm just concerned…" Sheridan was interrupted again by a dismissive wave of Chris's hand.

"Save it. I know what the deal is even if you don't want to admit it. And after everything I did for you, to keep you. I'm done."

------------------------------

_Please God let this baby be OK. Please don't make me have to break their hearts!_

Eve was concerned about what they might find as Theresa's ultrasound got under way. She glanced over to the head of the exam table where Ethan and Theresa waited tensely, their hands gripping one another's, and tried to give them a reassuring nod.

"OK you two. We're starting to get pictures…so far your uterus and ovaries look good. Now when I heard Theresa's heart beat I was about right here…" Eve pointed out the appropriate area on Theresa's stomach to the ultrasound tech.

As the probe moved across her belly, Theresa felt like she was going to explode. She couldn't tell what was going on, nobody was saying anything. The silence was deafening. Just as she thought she would lose her mind she heard Eve's relieved chuckle.

"There you are!"

"You see the baby?" Ethan couldn't let himself believe it just yet.

Eve turned to them with a big smile. "Yes. I see your baby, and their little heart is beating just fine!"

Tears of relief ran down Theresa's face and she and Ethan hugged, their earlier disagreement forgotten. "Thank God! How come we couldn't hear the heartbeat though?"

"Well, you're not as far along as you thought, only about ten weeks. So we wouldn't be able to hear it yet." Eve said. "You keep doing what you've been doing, remember to get lots of rest, and we'll have you come back in two weeks for another check up."

Alone again in the exam room, Theresa turned to Ethan. "I was so scared. I kept thinking that if I'd lost this baby already I didn't know what I would do. I think that I would've died."

Ethan hugged her tight. "I was scared too. But we would've found away to get through somehow. We always do."

Theresa nodded, but she wasn't so sure. She really felt like if she lost this baby she would drown.

------------------------------

"_Crane Matriarch Barters for Love"?_ The editor and chief of Daily Private Lives looked up as his reporter. "Where did you get this?"

"Haha. Yep. That ought to get the papers out of the stands! And you know I can't reveal my sources. Just trust me. It's legit."

The editor smiled. _"I like it. It'll go out first thing in the morning!"_

------------------------------

_"Hey. This is Ethan…."_

Sam shook his head and waited for the beep.

"Ethan, its Dad. I need to talk to you right away. It's about Miguel's case. I've been told we'll have everything we need to close the investigation tonight…."


	31. Chapter 30

Chapter 30 

Jordan rushed into the studio and found that the student broadcast was already well under way. "Here's my video Mrs. Chaney."

"I was beginning to wonder if you were going to make it." Mrs. Chaney pushed her wild red hair back and looked at her student over her equally wild half glasses. While well known for her eccentric sense of style and personality, the kids loved her and she was one of the most popular teachers at Harmony High.

"So this is really big huh?" She quoted Jordan from his phone call to her earlier when his editing took longer than expected. "I'm not sure I should air this. There isn't anytime to review it…there could be liabilities to the school…are you prepared to stand behind whatever it is that's on here if you're asked to do so?"

Jordan nodded. "Absolutely. I will stand up to anyone. I got this fair and square."

After a long look Mrs. Chaney nodded. "OK. Well, you're going last. Go get this over to the console and get your intro ready."

------------------------------

Theresa was once again tucked comfortably into the window seat for a relaxing evening when Ethan came into the family room.

"Where are the kids?"

Immediately taking notice of his somewhat apprehensive tone, Theresa frowned as she answered. "Mrs. Patterson is giving the girls their baths for the night and Bud is locked in his room trying to win the World Series on his X Box game. Why?"

Ethan sat beside her still looking slightly puzzled, but hopeful. "I just got off the phone with Dad, and he said that he got an anonymous call this afternoon. The caller said to watch the Student broadcast tonight on Public Access, and that we'd have everything we need to Miguel's case."

"What?" Theresa nearly broke Ethan's arm as she grabbed it in excitement. "How?"

"I don't know. I guess we'll have to watch. I'm not sure why we're watching the student broadcast on Public Access though." Ethan frowned. "It almost seems like if we were dealing with something legit the evidence would just be turned over to the police. What does a student have to do with it?"

Theresa's eyes were wide with disbelief. "Who. Cares? If it even gives you a little something to work with I don't care how you get it! When is the broadcast on anyway?"

Ethan glanced at the clock. "Right now actually."

"Well what are you waiting for? Turn on the TV!" Theresa's instruction was quite unnecessary. Ethan was already reaching for the remote.

_"Good Evening! We're broadcasting live from Harmony High School…."_

------------------------------

_Hhhhmmmmm…."Fancy. I thought you were asleep."_

_Fancy smiled and moved slowly over him, then straddled his hips—her intent clear._

_"I love you Fancy." He reached to touch her silky hair, and smiled at the shy smile she gave him. He let his hand travel down her arm to her fingertips then stopped in confusion._

_This isn't Fancy's hand! This hand was rough and callused—hard working. Luis blinked and Fancy's face disappeared, and another one appeared in its place._

_"You're not Fancy!" He started to struggle, but was quickly subdued, and a needle was driven into his arm…._

_"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"_ Luis bolted upright in bed, sweat running off his face, drenching his body. It was a dream. But it wasn't. He finally knew. He finally knew what happened that night.

"Mijo! Are you all right?" Pilar burst through the doorway, and Luis realized he had actually cried out in his sleep. He was embarrassed and glad only his mother had been awakened. Paloma was working, and Miguel could always sleep through anything.

"Yeah Mama. It was just a bad dream. You can go back to bed now."

Pilar put her arm around her son. "Are you sure? You're soaking wet. It must have been horrible. Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

He was sure. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to his mother about it.

"Yeah. I'll be OK. You go back to bed." Luis gave her a squeeze of his own and tried to sound reassuring.

Pilar looked unconvinced, but took Luis at his word. "OK. Good night."

After she had gone, Luis laid back against his pillow, his mind whirling. He had lied when he said it was just a dream.

It was a nightmare.

And for him, it was just beginning.

------------------------------

_"Good Evening, my name is Jordan Campbell with the last news story of the night."_

"Figures." Theresa muttered under her breath. She had been bored out of her mind with teacher interviews, mystery meat, and "Behind the Scenes of", but was too afraid of missing whatever it was they needed to know to leave the window seat.

"I hope this is worth it." Ethan was equally bored and just hoped that it wasn't time lost.

_"Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald has long maintained his innocence against the accusations that he tried to murder Fox Crane even in the face of the mounting evidence that is being used against him. This afternoon, I uncovered another side to this story. The footage you're about to see is authentic, and was not staged in any way."_

Ethan and Theresa sat forward expectantly as the tape rolled.

_"Here we have Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald, the accused, relaxing in the cozy back corner of the Book Café here in Harmony. Let's see what happens."_

"So what? Miguel went to the Book Café. Get to the point." Theresa was sitting on the edge of her seat. Ethan was silent, but watchful. Miguel seemed awful tense. Almost as if he was waiting for something.

Suddenly Migeul's eyes bugged and he grabbed a newspaper that had been discarded on a nearby table and opened it in front of his face…as Kay entered the café.

"Oh my god!" Theresa exclaimed watching the scene unfold, and Ethan resisted the urge to jump out of his seat as he saw Kay's companion.

"Oh my god. It's Miguel!"


	32. Chapter 31

Chapter 31 

"Oh…my…god!"

"It's Miguel!" Ethan and Theresa were staring at the screen in disbelief.

"If Miguel just walked in with Kay…."

"Then who is that sitting on the couch?" Ethan finished his wife's question.

"What the h--?" Sam was as confused watching at the station as his son and daughter-in-law were at home. Leaning forward, he watched closely as the scene unfolded….

"_Oh s---!" Miguel's eyes suddenly bugged and he snatched a nearby newspaper. Opening it, he held it in front of his face._

_The little bell above the café door chimed announcing new customers. Kay and Miguel walked in and sat at a secluded table near the middle of the store, their conversation looking intense._

_For about five minutes nothing happened. Then the bell chimed again announcing the arrival of Julian Crane. Immediately noticing his daughter-in-law and her lover, his confident stride faltered and his usually snotty attitude slipped for a split second, but he recovered quickly and scanned the room with his usual disdain before his eyes met a pair covertly looking at him over a newspaper in the back. Strangely, he did not approach Kay and Miguel at the table, but instead headed toward the back of the store._

_On the pretense of looking at the magazine rack, he stopped before the man reading the paper and spoke softly. "What the h--- are you still doing in here? Did you not see the real Miguel just walk in?"_

"_Uh…yeah! But what was I supposed to do…run right past them out the front door? Someone would've seen me for sure. Besides, I couldn't leave. I still don't have my money. Where's your son anyway?"_

"_He had something to take care of and sent me. What do you care anyway as long as you get paid?"_

"_Well…are we going to do this or not?"_

"_Don't get your knickers in a knot." Julian reached into the inside pocket of his coat and turned his back slightly to the counter. Pulling out a long white envelope, he discretely hid it behind the sugar shaker and baskets of condiments and utensils against the wall on the counter next to him. "There. You have your money. Now get lost until my son calls for you again!"_

_Finished with the magazines, Julian looked up and feigned shock and dismay, then walked resolutely toward the table where Kay and Miguel sat. The conversation could not be heard clearly, but it was obvious that it was heated and that Julian was causing a scene. Taking advantage of the distraction, "Miguel" grabbed the envelope and left the café without being noticed._

"Oh my god." Theresa breathed, at home in Ethan's arms.

"Oh my god." Sam shook his head in disbelief, several of his officers (Paloma being one of them) standing around him.

"Oh crap." Mrs. Chaney said as she buried her head in her hands as excited, unbelieving chatter droned on around her in the broadcasting studio. "We are in so much trouble!"

--------------------------------------

_Ring. Ring. Ring._

"Hello?"

"_Luis! Did you see? Did you see the proof? Miguel is innocent!"_

"Paloma, slow down. Of course Miguel is innocent! And what proof are you talking about?" Luis was confused.

_"Didn't Sam call you and let you know to watch the Student Broadcast on Public Access?"_

"No. We were out for most of the day. Unless…" Luis glanced at the answering machine and saw the blinking red light indicating a message had been left and groaned. "He must've left a message while we were gone. We never even checked voice mail!"

"_Oh. Well that doesn't matter! We saw it here at the station, and it shows…well maybe I better not talk about it on the phone. You'd better get down to the station. Ethan is already on his way."_ Paloma finished in a rush.

"You know we are too." Luis hung up the phone and ran from the kitchen. "Miguel! Mama! They found the proof! They can prove Miguel is innocent!"

------------------------------

"So Mother. I think we are in a pretty good place to get the company back." Julian took a long drink of sherry and let out a contented sigh.

Sitting across from him Katherine looked unsure. "Julian, I don't know. Ethan made some excellent points. And he's right. I don't want to run the company."

"Of course not. That's why you'll want to put me in charge. You know I'll take good care of it. You are to do nothing but be a woman of leisure, pampered to the extreme, your every whim catered to. You are to have everything Father denied you."

"Mr. Crane?" Mary Anne stepped timidly into the living room.

"Yes?" Julian barely glanced at her.

"There is a Mr. Chambers on the line for you." Mary Anne stopped timidly and her employer grew annoyed.

"Take a message. I will call him as soon as I'm ready." A call from the Crane publicist was never a good thing.

"I'm sorry, Sir. I tried that and he is very insistent…"

Julian set his glass down on the table with more force than truly necessary and interrupted, "Fine, fine! Ring him in!" He continued to mutter under his breath about the incompetent staff and one in particular until the phone rang.

"What is it, Chambers. And make it quick. You're interrupting what was otherwise a very nice evening." Julian's voice spoke of his boredom, but Mr. Chambers wasn't in the mood either.

_"You might want to cut the attitude and listen for once. Because you are in a lot of trouble right now!"_

"What are you talking about?" Julian snapped. "And you need to watch you tone of voice or you…" Julian's face suddenly went pale. "What did you say?"

_"I said, you're busted! And I'm not sure you're going to be able to worm your way out of this."_


	33. Chapter 32

Chapter 32 

"I'm busted? What are you talking about?"

"_I'm talking about your and Fox's plan to frame Miguel for Fox's attempted murder." _

Julian blanched, but his voice gave nothing away. "Chambers, I don't know where you get off with your ridiculous accusations, but…"

_"I'm going to just stop you right there. Don't even try it. That video of you leaving payment to a Miguel look alike in the Book Café this evening, asking why he didn't disappear when the 'real Miguel' showed up…looks pretty incriminating to me. And I bet it will to the Harmony PD as well."_

"Video?" Julian held on to the desk on which the phone sat and tried to remain calm. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

_"You got sloppy. That's what I'm talking about. You got caught on video tape--by a high school student no less—making some kind of payoff to a young man at the Book Café this evening. The video has just been aired on Public Access Television as part of a student broadcast. The student that filmed you intimated that maybe Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald has been telling the truth all along. Suggested that maybe he really was framed because well… 'Looky what I just caught on film! Which by the way was unstaged and completely candid.'"_

"No. No. This can't be." Julian couldn't believe that he had let something like this happen. He was always so careful, always had his bases covered. He couldn't have possibly gotten caught by a snot-nosed child! "I don't believe such a video exists."

"_Doesn't matter what you believe—it's out there. You better prepare yourself for a visit from the police. I'm taking your lack of denial as an admission of guilt. Don't want the details…don't care. Just be thinking about how you want to spin this. Because I'm fresh out of ideas. Good night Mr. Crane."_

_Click._

_Caught. Caught on tape. Helping Fox with his plan. Maybe it's not as bad as it seems. I didn't exactly mention the plan. I didn't actually admit to knowing about it or helping in anyway. I have the best legal team in the business. I should be able to buy—and most assuredly blackmail our way out of this…._

"Honey what's wrong?" The touch of Katherine's hand on his shoulder startled Julian out of his thoughts.

"Um…nothing. Just some business deal going awry. Don't concern yourself with it Mother." He patted her hand comfortingly and conjured up a smile of false assurance. I just need to find Fox immediately. I'm sorry to leave you so abruptly."

Katherine smiled at her son, not one bit fooled by his act. "It's all right Julian. You go find Fox and I'll find more than enough things to keep me occupied while you're gone."

As Julian hurried from the room, Katherine sighed in her soul.

"_Oh my son. What have you done this time?"_

------------------------------

"Fox! There you are! Where have you been? I've been running through this mansion looking for you; none of the staff knew where you were!"

Fox swam to the side of the pool where he had been swimming laps. "I didn't realize I had to tell the help where I am every minute of the day when I'm in my own home. Besides, if I had told them, they'd have just told Kay and she wouldn't have let me out of her sight and I was dying for a swim."

"Kay." Julian hissed the name as his face contorted into an angry scowl.

Fox rolled his eyes. "Yes Father. You remember Kay. My wife."

"The woman that has become more trouble than she's worth." Julian interrupted snidely.

"Don't start with that. No matter what you feel about her she's my wife! I love her. I'd do anything for her." Fox climbed out of the pool and reached for one of the fluffy white towels he had placed poolside.

Julian scoffed. "Well, I hope you're ready to go to jail for her because that's exactly where we're getting ready to go if we can't figure a way out of this."

"Out of what Father?" Fox's voice was barely tolerant, but before he could hear Julian's answer, one of the security guards walked in. And he was obviously agitated.

"Oh. There you are Master Fox. We've been looking all over the estate for you."

Fox looked at him with confusion in his eyes, but Julian just groaned and turned away. "Why are you looking for me?"

The guard looked confused as well. "I'm not sure actually sir. Your wife's personal maid said that she was going to help get her bath ready for the evening when she heard an unearthly shriek and Ms. Kay call your name. When the maid told her she didn't know where you were, Ms. Kay ordered that you were to be found and brought back to your rooms immediately."

"Fine. I'll be there shortly."

As the guard ducked out of the pool house, relaying to the rest of the security team that Fox was found, Julian turned to his son.

"She knows. She knows that you set Miguel up."

------------------------------

"So, what are you thinking Miguel?"

Miguel was so angry that he couldn't see straight and it took him a minute to answer Ethan. His family around him was just as angry. He pointed to the still image of the paused recording of the public access broadcast. "That's Isaac Rodriguez. He's new at the cannery, and everyone picked up on the fact that he had a striking resemblance to me. I don't know why I didn't think of him before! I didn't even know that Fox knew him."

Sam shook his head. "He might not have really. It's just one of those things that the Cranes seem to be very good at. Knowing exactly where to get whatever they need." He turned to his son then. "Ethan, I was thinking of going to pick Julian and Fox up for questioning. Have any objections?"

Ethan shook his head and looked at the group with an optimistic smile. "None at all. And bring in Mr. Rodriguez as well. The meaning of this video seems pretty clear to me. But to make sure we don't let anything slip through the cracks, bring Jordan Campbell in too. And make sure to get the original version of that video. If we can authenticate it, it will go along way in Miguel's defense."

Ethan's smile faded some then and he looked sober. "You all know that Julian and Fox are going to do everything they can to get out of this. Don't let your guard down yet."


	34. Chapter 33

Chapter 33 

"_Whooah! Livin on prayer!"_

"Take my hand, and we'll make it I swear! Whooh! Livin on a prayer!" Ethan sang along with one of his favorite songs from Bon Jovi as it played on his stereo. Finished shaving, he splashed on his favorite after shave then headed back into the master bedroom to finish getting dressed.

_"We got to hold on to what we got…"_

"It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not! We got each other and that's a lot! For love…we'll give it a shot!" Ethan stopped singing and hummed along as he tied his tie. He turned off the stereo, grabbed his suit jacket and went downstairs, kissing all three of his kids at some point along the way.

Still humming to the music in his head, he chuckled at his silliness. But with Miguel's case basically solved he couldn't help it. Nothing could get him down. Not the fact that Fox and Julian were working frantically trying to save face, not the fact that they could still get kicked out of Crane Industries (though Julian was trying to postpone the hearing scheduled for that day), not even that he didn't have a clue how he was going to prove Luis's innocence. Today--right now--he and Theresa were going to celebrate.

Too bad his wife wasn't in a celebratory mood.

"Good morning Darling…." Ethan trailed off as he saw that Theresa was pacing in the kitchen, reading the morning paper. And she was definitely angry. "What's wrong?" Theresa didn't even look at him or say anything. She just slid the front page across the counter for him to read.

" '_Crane Matriarch Barters for Love'_? What in the world?" Ethan quickly skimmed the article while Theresa continued to pace behind him. "So they're saying that Katherine tried to use the company to get your father to be with her? Oh wow! If the judge sees this, it will look very bad for Julian and Katherine. It goes straight to my point that Katherine really doesn't want to be head of Crane…"

"So do you still think my father is telling the truth?" Theresa interrupted her husband with ascorbic emphasis on the words 'my father'.

"What are you talking about?" Ethan asked. As the words came out of his mouth, her meaning hit him. "You think your dad was lying about being with Katherine don't you?"

Theresa stopped in front of Ethan with her arms crossed tightly across her chest. "I always have! This proves it! He has been with that woman and now just wants to cozy up to us and Mama like nothing ever happened!"

Ethan shook his head. "Baby, is that all you got out of the article? That Katherine _implies_ that they spent the last 20 years romantically involved? Don't you care that your father didn't take the bait? Doesn't it matter that he couldn't be bought? That he put his desire to have his family back above helping Katherine? Wasn't that one of the reasons you're so mad at him, because he put her before you all those years ago?"

It was Theresa's turn to shake her head. "No, it doesn't matter, because he lied about being in love with her! And once again he didn't try to help me. He didn't stop her and Julian from trying to destroy me! He's just thinking about himself as usual!"

"Theresa! Listen to what you're saying! Ethan hoped he wasn't digging himself too big a grave. "You want him to sacrifice his future with your family so you can keep Crane Industries? Do you not hear how that sounds? How can you be so sure he's lying anyway? How do you know that Katherine isn't?"

"Ethan look at that article! She sounds pathetic! This is an embarrassment to her family and the Crane name in general! No woman would embarrass herself like that _except_ for love! And as far as my father is concerned, he doesn't have a future with my family!"

"Baby, everyone else…."

"Don't you 'Baby' me!" Theresa's eyes were black as coal, a darkness they only reached when she was way beyond simple anger. "Everyone else will be sorry that they didn't listen to me about him, you wait and see! And I know that I'm doing the right thing by not letting our kids getting close to him. I can't believe I was starting to let you make me feel guilty about that. But not anymore. He will never—ever—be allowed to spend time with my children again!"

_------------------------------_

_Ring. Ring._

_Ring. Ring. Ring._

_Ring._

Julian groaned and poured himself a glass of sherry. It was barely past breakfast but he was in desperate need of one. Ever since that blasted news broadcast had aired last night and word had gotten around about Fox's plan and his part in it, the phone hadn't stopped ringing. Apparently, the phones were ringing off the hook in the office as well. His assistant had been frazzled when he called to give instructions on how to handle the calls.

Remembering the drama that had taken place immediately after the broadcast, he groaned again and poured himself another glass. Fox had gone to find Kay in their rooms, ready to keep up the act, but that hadn't been possible. Kay cried and screamed; _"How could you do this to me? How could you do that to Miguel? I trusted you! I hate you!…."_ It had been ugly. She had her and Maria's things packed and they were out the front door before Fox knew what had hit him. Julian didn't know where to, but he presumed it was straight into Miguel's waiting arms. Which he also presummed was how she knew to watch the Student Broadcast in the first place.

Then he and Fox had argued. Fox wanted to know how he could be so careless? And he had wanted to know how Fox could be so stupid as to set up a meeting like that in a public place? Then Fox had said it didn't matter where he set up the meeting because he would've been careful enough not to get caught, and Julian had laughed and wondered just how exactly would he have noticed he was being filmed? Which of course ended with the accusation that it was Julian's fault that they were even in this mess at all because he had told Fox to do whatever he had to to keep his woman.

Then Katherine had whisked into the room and demanded to know how they could do something so cruel to another person? She had shaken her head in sorrow that they were more Alistair's blood than she realized, and Julian had told her she shouldn't be so high and mighty considering she had just helped him try to trap Mary Ann. And had she forgotten that she was taking the company from Theresa because she couldn't land Martin—a common low life—any other way? That brought on the tears and "Oh Julian! How could you be so cruel to say such things!"

Sam and his renegades had shown up then and made a big production of "hauling them in" for questioning, the staff, various neighbors there to witness and the local media there to chronicle it all. The humiliation was still fresh. So fresh Julian hadn't had the nerve to see just how bad it all looked in the light of day. He hadn't watched a news report or read a newspaper and didn't plan to just yet.

_Knock. Knock._

"Go away!" Julian drained his goblet and poured another drink.

"I'm sorry Mr. Crane." The butler's voice was heard through the door. "But these papers just arrived and they're marked as urgent. They appear to be from the courthouse, sir."

"Come in then." Julian had forgotten about his late night appeal to postpone today's hearing of the judge's ruling on the company. His lawyer hadn't been happy about bothering a judge at night for such a small request, but Julian had persuaded him in typical Crane fashion.

Bowing slightly as he handed over the papers, the butler turned and left the room without a word, shutting the door behind him. Julian ripped open the envelope, scanned the leaves and tossed them carelessly to the floor. Apparently, nothing was going to go right for him today. He reached for the Harmony Hearld that had been placed in his office as it was every morning. He might as well see what the local nitwits were saying about all this. Unfolding it to the front page, his eyes about popped out of his head when he read the headline.

There it was. His trap for Mary Ann. It couldn't have appeared at a worse time for him.

He needed another drink.

------------------------------

"It's not true. She's lying. Katherine and I never had an affair!"

Martin stood before his family in Pilar's kitchen. He had come over immediately after seeing the headline of the paper, knowing what they might be thinking and wanting to be up front right from the start. He unfortunately couldn't get a hold of Theresa, but he'd have to try again later.

"I saw the news that night, saying that Katherine and Julian were trying to take the company back, and I did go to Katherine. And I did ask her if she loved me how could she do this to my daughter? But kids, Pilar…you have to believe me. I never left you to be with Katherine and I've never been with her romantically." He looked around the table at the skepticism on their faces and tried again.

"Look. I don't know why she's saying these things, and I know you don't have any reason in the world to believe me. But I'm telling the truth."

Finally Pilar nodded. "I believe you Martin. I mean, this story hurts her as much as it hurts you. It makes her look like she doesn't care about our family or anyone else as long as she gets what she wants. Lord knows that I'm not particularly fond of that woman, but I'm sure she never intended to be perceived like that."

Paloma nodded. "I agree. That's what's weird though. I'd be willing to bet a week's salary that this wasn't ever supposed to get out. Somebody leaked it. At the worst possible time for the Crane's too."

"There are a lot of people on the estate that could be responsible. I mean, I'm sure there must be someone working for them that is willing to sell them out to the highest bidder." Martin said.

Luis was quiet. He wasn't sure why Martin's statement stuck out to him, but he tucked it away in his mind anyway.


	35. Chapter 34

Chapter 34 

"Luis? It's me, Sheridan. Your mom said that you weren't home, so I thought I'd try your cell. Listen, I'm really sorry about my mom and her whole part in this mess with Crane. I can't believe that she'd try to bribe your father like that! I'm just so sorry. About Julian and Fox too. I had hoped that Father's influence over them wasn't a factor, that they had truly changed…"

Chris stood behind Sheridan unnoticed as she left her message. Anger and jealousy overflowed his soul. He knew in his head that he should accept the fact that he couldn't have the part of Sheridan that he wanted most, but his heart refused to listen.

_I will make her love me! As soon as Luis is out of the picture, she'll have no choice but to devote herself to me!_

------------------------------

"OK, Jordan. Tell us how you happened to get the footage of Misters Crane and Rodriguez that afternoon in the Book Café." Ethan was spending the morning tidying up the loose ends on Miguel's case before he met Theresa at the courthouse later that afternoon. He hit play on the dictaphone, and settled back to listen.

"I had gone to the café to get some coffee and think about our assignment. I had a story prepared for the broadcast, but wasn't happy with it, and was just walking around town trying to see if something better would present itself.

"Just as I was getting ready to leave, I saw a man that I thought was Miguel sitting on the couch at the back."

"Can you be specific as to the 'Miguel' you are referring to?" Ethan interrupted.

"I thought the man sitting on the couch was Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald." Jordan clarified.

"Thank you. Please continue." Ethan said.

"I thought he looked a little agitated, or like he was waiting for someone, so I hid behind the potted…tree I guess it is…and just focused my camera on him. I figured the case against Miguel…Lopez-Fitzgerald was such a hot topic I might get something." Jordan stopped and looked at Ethan for further instruction, and after a few more questions Ethan finished the interview.

"Thank you Jordan. You've been a big help. I feel I should warn you though that both Mr. Crane and his son want this to go away in the worst way. Don't be surprised if you're brought back into court on this." Ethan looked at Jordan's parents then. "If that happens I'd advice that you get a good attorney involved." He reached into his briefcase and pulled out a business card. "Here is the name of an excellent firm. One of their lawyers will be happy to take the case. I'd offer to take it myself, but I'm a little booked up right now." he finished apologetically. "The Crane's have the best legal team in the business; you don't want to be caught out there on your own."

The Campbells left then and Ethan turned to his father while he packed his briefcase. "Have you finished the paperwork for Mr. Rodriguez?"

Sam nodded. "Yes. His confession is signed and he's prepared to testify if it comes to that. I'm sure your deal had a lot to do with that." Sam added with a wry smile.

Ethan shrugged. "A bird in hand is worth two in the bush. I hate to flip my own brother—Mom is having a fit already—but what else can I do? It looks like Fox learned the lessons at his father's knee all too well."

"I know it's a tough decision, Son." Sam clapped his hand on Ethan's shoulder. "But this tape is being shown all over the Internet, every news outlet is talking about it. If you have all your bases covered, I'm sure even the Crane attorneys will recognize the need for the Crane's to save face in the public eye, and talk Julian and Fox into putting this to bed quietly. Especially now when it looks like Katherine tried to bribe Martin into leaving his family in exchange for letting Theresa keep the company."

Ethan looked skeptical. "Yeah, their attorneys are already begging for a meeting with me, so you're probably right on that count. But I'm a little worried. Crane's are not known for letting the proverbial good deed go unpunished."

Sam nodded soberly as the full import of Ethan's words sank in and he continued.

"Dad, somebody's going to pay."

------------------------------

"Counting the rewards of your greed I see?"

Mary Ann's head rose slowly and she turned toward her front door, which she had left open to catch the first warm breeze of spring.

" I thought I told you to lay low."

"And I thought I told you that I needed some money." she retorted.

"Apparently you haven't learned from your past mistakes either."

Mary Ann rolled her eyes. "Are you here for a reason?"

"Yeah." The owner of the voice stepped into the house uninvited. "I came to make sure we haven't let anything fall through the cracks. And to make sure you get it when I say 'stop being greedy'. If they can catch Julian and Fox Crane on a fluke, they can catch us too."

------------------------------

Theresa walked into the courthouse and down the hall towards Judge Callahan's chambers. Her mood had not improved much since this morning, and she just wanted to get this over with. She rounded the last corner and stopped short as she saw Martin sitting outside the judge's chambers. He stood as soon as he saw her and Theresa had no doubt that he had been waiting for just this moment.

"What are you doing here?"

Martin swallowed hard. The tone of her voice, the stance of her body, the look of contempt open on her face let him know that she had not changed her opinion of him. In fact he was fairly certain it had probably gotten worse.

"Hey. I've been trying to call, but I couldn't get through."

Theresa walked past him, sat in one of the waiting chairs and crossed her legs.

"Umm. I wanted to talk to you about the article…I mean…did you see it?"

Theresa licked her lips and looked at him with raised eyebrows, but still did not speak.

Martin coughed. "I'll take that as a 'yes'. Well, I figured you'd be angry and I wanted to tell my side of the story."

"Not interested." Her voice was monotone and she turned her face away.

Martin sat down beside her, and tried to keep from reaching for her hand but failed. She snatched it out of his reach just as he knew she would. "Look. I don't know why Katherine said those things. That's not how it went down."

Theresa turned her back in the chair. "I said I'm not interested."

"I'm not lying to you. I really didn't…."

"Go away…Dad." It killed Theresa to let that word cross her lips, but all the years of her mother's lectures on respect wouldn't let her call him anything else.

"Baby Doll, please listen to me."

Theresa abruptly stood then. "If you won't go away, I will." Turning on her heel she walked down the hall in the opposite direction and into the Ladies room.

Martin's shoulders slumped. Looking at his watch, he realized that Katherine and Julian would be showing up soon. Not wanting to face either of them just then, he too walked away from the chambers.

------------------------------

"Well. This has certainly been an eventful 24 hours." Judge Callahan looked at the small group gathered in front of him (this time with a Crane attorney present), his face stern. "I'm sure everyone has had their fill of news today, so I will not speak of certain news items except to say that while appalled by them, they were not used in my ruling on this matter."

Julian and Katherine breathed audible sighs of relief. They found that the relief was short lived when the judge continued.

"But I believe that's where your luck runs out I'm afraid Mr. Crane. Mr. Winthrop was very thorough in his research and eloquent in his delivery of Mrs. Winthrop's case. He mentioned that the late Mr. Alistair Crane took the proper steps to declare Katherine Crane legally dead, which nullified their marriage, leaving him free to marry whom he pleased. Which is proven by the document declaring your death Ms. Crane.

"Also as Mr. Wintrhop pointed out, Mr. Crane did disinherit all of his children and grandchildren, a fact proven by the most recent version of his will, leaving him free to leave all his worldly possessions to whomever he chose. I personally find that to be a separate issue to whether or not his marriage to Theresa, then Lopez-Fitzgerald, is legal.

"So, today I hereby rule on the issue of the marriage between the late Alistair Crane and Theresa Crane Winthrop: it was a union entered into legally and in good faith, therefore will stand as such. That being said, I also hereby rule that her will remains a binding, legal document.

"On the issue of the leadership of Crane Industries: based on the wishes of the late Alistair Crane as stated in his will, the company will remain under the leadership of Mrs. Theresa Winthrop, and to whomever she deems fit to delegate responsibility. This hearing is adjourned."

------------------------------

Ethan and Theresa walked to their cars after the hearing without exchanging a word. Upon arriving at the courthouse, Ethan had found her to be closed mouthed and cool. When he had asked if something was wrong, she had simply shook her head to the negative and took at seat. Now she remained as cool as ever. She wasn't even basking in the knowledge of her victory over Julian and Katherine.

"So, Theresa. Are you happy with the judge's ruling? You got what you wanted."

"But not what you wanted, right?" Theresa didn't miss a step or look at him.

"Excuse me?" Ethan stopped short and grabbed his wife's arm when she would've kept walking. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I know you really didn't want to do this. You did it just to pacify me. Just like my father does."

"Whoa, whoa! I did this because I love you and you said that this is what you wanted. So I did my best to get it for you, and I did. And do you really think I treat you like your father?" Ethan's face showed his hurt.

Theresa sighed. "Look I'm sorry. You don't treat me like my dad. But I know you're never going to be really happy about this. You'll always think I was selfish and vindictive. It's just maddening to think that my own husband isn't behind me one hundred percent."

Ethan was too dumbfounded to speak, and apparently Theresa took it as proof of her point. She shook her head sadly and turned to leave. Then anger overtook her in an instant. Following her gaze, Ethan saw Martin waiting next to her car.

"Theresa wait." Ethan grabbed for her arm again, but missed as she stormed toward her father.

"What are you still doing here?" Theresa asked angrily.

"I know you wanted me to leave, but I couldn't. Not without you hearing me out." Martin said.

"I told you that I am not interested in hearing you out! I'm sure you'd tell me nothing but more lies." Theresa snapped.

That obviously stung Martin to the core, but he didn't back down. "I know I have a long way to go in earning your trust back, but please…"

Theresa stood with her father toe to toe, her face inches from his. "You can _never_ win my trust back! I will _never_ trust you again! You are _not_ welcome in my life! You are _not _welcome in my children's lives! So go away and _don't come back_!"

"Theresa!" Ethan couldn't contain his surprise. She faced him then and he too received a healthy dose of her wrath.

"And you. I don't care what you think of me right now; if you're going to tell me how wrong I am, save your breath. I'm not changing my mind." Theresa stood back and shook her head in disgust before addressing the two men together; the two men that had the most influence in her life.

"Feel free to discuss me and my behavior in all the negative terms you like. I don't really care."

Then she was gone, leaving Ethan and Martin open mouthed as they watched her car speed down the street.


	36. Chapter 35

Chapter 35 

"I can't believe that I lost to that gold digging, company stealing, opportunistic, shameless…_girl_!" Julian spat as he ran out of insults to add to Theresa's name. "Will the shame on the Crane name ever stop?"

Katherine followed her son into his office and watched him practically break a crystal goblet before he filled it with sherry. "Some of this is your own doing Julian." she said.

"Oh don't pretend to take the moral high ground Mother! You helped me set up Mary Ann by trying to make Martin look bad, and you ended up looking worse than he did!"

Katherine had the good grace to look ashamed. "Where did I fail all of you? How could I contribute to all of this? Has Alistair corrupted us all?"

"Who cares about Grandfather or the stupid company right now? I'm the one that lost my wife and family, remember?" Fox walked in behind them and slammed the office door. "I'm in a lot of trouble here. Or did anyone forget that?"

Julian sat on the leather sofa with a perturbed sigh. "No Fox. No one has forgotten how you lost _Miguel's_ family, how you've put a blot on our name by losing to a common fisherman."

"Julian!" Katherine was dismayed. "How can you be so cruel to your own son?"

Fox scowled. "Yes. Thank you for your undying support Father. Especially since you're the one who messed up by getting caught in the first place."

Julian finished his drink and reached for another. "Oh stop it Fox! The truth is you lost Kay all by yourself—letting your employee call the shots! A real man takes responsibility for his actions and his failings. You should try it sometime."

"Oh could show me how? You're such a fine example in that area." It was Fox's turn to mock.

"OK. Just stop it you two! Blaming each other won't fix anything!" Katherine stepped in. "We're family. We need to support each other!"

Before either father or son could respond, a quiet knock was heard at the door and Mary Ann timidly poked her head around it.

I'm sorry Mr. Crane, but I'm supposed to clean your office today. Do you want me to come back later?"

Julian's face suddenly took on a wicked, self-satisfied gleam. "No Mary Ann. I don't want you to come back later. In fact, I don't want you to come back at all."

Mary Ann looked confused. "I'm sorry, sir. I'm not sure I understand."

Julian began to really enjoy this. "I don't want you to come back to clean my office or any other part of this house. You're fired."

Her eyes growing round, she stepped just inside the threshold. "I'm fired? Why? What have I done?"

"You are the mole leaking all the Crane business to the media. I told all of you that the person found to be engaging in those behaviors would be fired immediately. So…you're fired."

Mary Ann feigned innocence even as warning bells sounded in her head. "I don't know what you mean, sir! I assure you that I never betrayed any confidence…"

Julian cut her off with a scoff. "Don't even try to deny it. I suspected it was you, so I gave you a little test with that story of Martin taking advantage of Mother here, and you obviously failed it miserably. You have 15 minutes to leave the estate."

Mr. Crane turned his back to her then, and she had no choice but to go. _He is going to be so angry,_ she thought as she left the office and prepared to leave.

Alone again, Katherine sighed. "I hate that we were right about her, but I'm glad that this is finally over."

"Over? Not hardly Mother." Julian finished his sherry and poured a third before reaching for the phone on his desk and turning to Fox.

"You want me to teach you? Well watch closely. I'll show you how to get what you want every time."

------------------------------

"Hello?"

"_Mija! Such good news about the hearing today!"_

Theresa frowned. "Mama, how did you know about that?"

_"Your papa. He just got here and told us the news."_

"I didn't tell him what happened, so how did he know?" Theresa was suspicious, and Pilar picked up it right away.

_"He said that he was waiting for you outside and saw Julian and Katherine leave. He said that it was obvious that they had lost. Theresa, what's wrong?"_

"Nothing." Theresa lied. "I just wondered how he knew that's all."

_"Oh. Well, I decided with such good news today—what with you keeping the company and Miguel being proven innocent—I thought we should celebrate. Come over for dinner. I'm making everyone's favorites, and Paloma actually has the evening off today. Kay and Maria will probably be here too."_

"Will Papa be there?" Theresa looked up at the sound of the garage door closing and knew Ethan was home.

_"Of course. He's happy about all of this too."_

"Then I think we'll pass."

Ethan walked into the kitchen on that note, having followed his wife's voice, and wondered what was going on.

"No Mama. I haven't forgiven him and I'm not going to pretend I have."

Theresa paused and Ethan figured that Pilar must have been trying to change her daughter's mind.

_She might as well save her breath,_ he thought. He got a glass out of the cupboard, a pitcher of iced tea out of the fridge and poured himself a drink. All of this was done without Theresa even batting an eye in his direction.

"I don't care. I don't want to see him." Another pause. "No thanks. I think we'll just have a quiet dinner with the kids."

She still wasn't looking at him, so Ethan took his glass and positioned himself directly in front of her as she leaned against the counter. The look on his face must've gotten his point across, because she shot him a glare and turned the other way.

"_Ethan _can do what he wants. But the kids and I are just going to stay home tonight."

The emphasis on his name as she said that told Ethan everything he needed to know. She knew where he stood and she didn't care.

This situation with Martin was going to get ugly.

------------------------------

"_You stupid, stupid woman! I told you to lay low! I told you not to get them looking in your direction!"_

_Mary Ann didn't say anything as the tirade continued._

"_What are you going to do now? Let's just hope that when you leave no one misses you!"_

"_I don't know what I'm going to do." Her eyes filled with tears of desperation. "I'll figure something out though. I'll just get another job and start over I guess."_

"_Not in Harmony you won't!"_

"_Well then I'll go where ever I have to go to find work. It'll be fine. I'll get another job and I'll let you know where I am so you can send me the rest of my money." Mary Ann tried to sound more confident than she felt._

"_First, you don't get any money until Luis is convicted, so don't go counting your money before you actually have some! Secondly, you're extremely naïve if you think that Julian Crane fired you, let you walk out the door and that's it. You mark my words—he has something much bigger planned as punishment for you..._

Mary Ann climbed into bed and tried to shrug off the memory of his words. But she knew he was right. There was nowhere in Harmony to escape the wrath of Crane. The world was a big place though, and Katherine and Martin had managed to hide from Alistair (the worst of the worst) for twenty years in it. One little maid should be able to get lost out there pretty easily.

Outside her window the wind knocked a tree branch against her the pane. Barren yet of the new leaves it usually boasted, the branch scratched like fingernails on a chalkboard across the glass. Shivering at the sound, Mary Ann pulled to covers up tightly around her chin and hoped with everything in her soul that she was right.


	37. Chapter 36

Chapter 36 

"Ethan Winthrop. Seriously? You've already called Luis? OK. I'll be over right away."

Ethan hung up the phone and grabbed his briefcase, stopping only to give Valerie some instructions about the rest of the morning, then headed for his car. The private investigators he'd hired for Luis's and Miguel's cases had finished going through the evidence reports and had done some investigating of their own. Now they were ready to give a full report, and apparently they had turned up something of significance. Ethan was on his way to the police station to meet with them as well as Luis.

He was glad to get a break from the office. Theresa had gone to her appointment with Eve, so was out until the afternoon. Working on the redevelopment project without her input was serving only to remind him that she hadn't wanted him to go to the appointment with her…

"_What time is your appointment tomorrow morning?"_

"_At 10:00."_

"_So are we planning to take the whole morning off or what's the plan?"_

"_I'm planning on taking the whole morning off."_

"_OK." Ethan had pulled out his day planner to have a look. "So when did Valerie reschedule the meeting with the zoning board?"_

"_She didn't." Theresa hadn't looked away from the TV. _

"_Why not? We can't be in two places at once." Ethan tried to tease with a laugh, but it didn't quite come off._

_"Because there's no reason for you to be at the appointment with me. I can handle it. You can meet with the board at the scheduled time. This is an important meeting that we really shouldn't put off. You know how hard it is to get a time with them." She still hadn't looked away from the TV, and Ethan knew she was doing her best to avoid him. She didn't even like this show._

"_It's not as important as my wife and child. Theresa, I'd really like to go with you. Especially seeing as last time didn't go quite as smoothly as we would've liked."_

"_Ethan, it's OK. I'll be fine."_

"_But Honey—"_

_Theresa did look up then, and her eyes were vacant, no emotion whatsoever. "Ethan. I'll be fine. Don't worry about it..."_

It had pretty much been like that for the last two weeks. They weren't fighting per se. She wasn't being rude or giving him the silent treatment really. She accepted his hugs and kisses readily. There just wasn't any warmth in her. Two more invitations for dinner with the family had been turned down. In fact the only time they saw any of her family was if they came to the Winthrop's house. That was the only place that Martin wasn't welcome. The kids were asking for him, but she had been firm. Martin had become the huge elephant in the room that nobody wanted to talk about. He had become the wedge in their marriage. A wedge Ethan wasn't sure how to remove. But something had to give. He wasn't sure how much of this he was supposed to be able to take.

_------------------------------_

_ThumpthumpThumpthumpThumpthumpThumpthumpThumpthump…_

The baby's heart beat out a steady rhythm, and Eve smiled at Theresa. She thought it was a little strange that Ethan wasn't here to witness this, but Theresa had said something about a meeting that couldn't be put off, and didn't look in the least concerned about it as a smile stretched off her face as she listened to her child's hearbeat.

"Sounds good to me. What do you think Theresa?"

Theresa laughed. "Sounds like music to my ears."

Eve laughed as well. "Mine too. Let's get the rest of the exam done."

After a few more questions, Theresa's appointment was over and she left for the Crane.

_Well. That's one load off my mind today. Ethan will be relieved._

At the thought of her husband, Theresa had a momentary twinge of guilt. She really wasn't being very nice to him. She thought about how she hadn't wanted him to come to the appointment, and the look of hurt that had come over his face as he realized it. She'd felt bad for hurting him, but not bad enough to change her mind. She wasn't even sure why she hadn't wanted him there. She just didn't.

Theresa had arrived at Crane, and walked into her office the back way. "Ethan?" She looked around but he wasn't in her office. She walked over to the door that joined her office to his from the inside and knocked quietly. "Ethan?" When he didn't answer, she opened the door to find his office empty as well.

"Valerie?" Theresa walked out to their assistant's desk in the entryway. "Have you seen Ethan?"

"Oh. He left for the police station a little while ago. He said he had a meeting with Luis about his case."

Theresa frowned. "I didn't know he was meeting with Luis today. And why did are they meeting at the station?"

Valerie shrugged slightly. "I don't know, Mrs. Wintrhop. He just said something about the investigators wanting to meet with both of them there."

"Well, OK. I'm sure he'll let me know soon." Theresa nodded to Valerie with what she hoped looked like an unconcerned smile, and went back to her office. Once alone though, she began to fume inwardly.

_How could he not call me right away about this? Luis is my brother after all. He knows I want to know everything about the case as soon as he finds out, and he always called me right away before! What is this—tit for tat? He's mad at me for not letting him come to the doctor with me, so he's trying to punish me? How childish!_

Theresa went on in this vein for the rest of the morning, getting more and more upset, making the moment Ethan came back a very unpleasant one for him, as she exploded in anger.

"_What is your problem?"_

------------------------------

Mary Ann sipped her water, and pushed the rest of her small meal away as she sat in her motel room and wondered what to do next. Apparently, Julian Crane's wrath reached all the way to Castleton. She'd been up and down the streets of this town looking for a job, answering every "Help wanted" ad she could find in the paper, and she couldn't get work. Her previous work record as well as the criminal record that accompanied it wasn't helping.

Maybe she should start lying about that.

She reached into her purse and counted the money again. If she continued to be careful, she would be OK for awhile yet. After a little more thought, she decided on a plan. She'd go to the next town and see how she faired. If things were no better there, she'd just head south to New Hampshire. Leave Maine entirely. Certainly the Crane's wouldn't care about one little maid that far away. With a plan in place, Mary Ann felt better and turned in early for the night. She'd need an early start if she wanted to do some job hunting tomorrow.

The next morning, Mary Ann hopped in her car and drove away with her hope from the night before firmly in place. She was so caught up in her plan for the day, she never saw the nondescript, cream colored Ford Focus in the parking lot. Or how the driver cautiously pulled out into traffic behind her.

-------------------------------

Luis sat in the park and tried to gather his thoughts, which kept going over his meeting with Ethan and those PI's. They had confirmed it. There wasn't any doubt now…

"_Everything was pretty straight forward. The investigation by the department was very thorough."_

_Ethan nodded, and Luis even had a moment of pride fill his heart. "Harmony Police Department boasts one of the most conscientious force's around. I'm not surprised."_

_The head investigator smiled. "That was very obvious. You're very fortunate. Everything seemed to be in perfect order. What we couldn't find an explanation for is Luis's complete memory loss of the events between falling asleep and waking up in woods."_

_Luis lost track for a moment then. He knew what happened. He was pretty sure anyway. Instead of speaking up, he opted to see where the investigators went with this._

"_So we went over all the evidence from Fancy's room again and re-interviewed the staff. And the most telling were the wine glasses."_

"_OK." Ethan was keeping up so far._

"_We sent them for extensive testing, and we found traces of Seroquel, and Ativan on the outside rim of one of the glasses. Which based on fingerprint analysis turned out to be Luis's glass."_

"_So you're saying Luis was drugged?" Ethan looked only a little surprised. "I guess that makes would explain it."_

"_Probably." the second investigator agreed._

_Luis spoke up then. "It absolutely explains it. I remembered everything."_

_Ethan looked at him in shock. "Luis! If you remembered why didn't you tell me?"_

_Luis looked at him steadily. "Because if I admitted that I was drugged, I had to admit that there was a very real possibility that Fancy wasn't the only one raped that night." Luis dropped his eyes to the table then, and finished quietly. _

"_I had to admit…that…that I…I was raped too."_


	38. Chapter 37

Chapter 37 

_Luis's heart seized and his face flushed with shame at this admission. _

_Ethan looked shocked for just a moment and then nodded slowly. "If you and Fancy didn't sleep together that night, I guess that's the only explanation." He paused, trying to wrap his head around the fact. "I'm sorry Luis. I—I don't know what to say."_

_Luis shrugged sadly. "There's nothing to say. It just is."_

_The head investigator cleared his throat. "I hate to make a bad situation worse, but we need you to tell us everything you remember."_

_Luis cleared his throat, dropped his eyes from the other occupants of the room and began. "I remember laying on the couch, and suddenly feeling flush and very warm. I thought maybe the thermostat was turned on high, so I stood up to go check and got so dizzy I had to sit back down. My mind felt fuzzy and I felt really uncoordinated. I just thought that I had had more wine than I thought, but I guess it was the drugs. I lay back down, and almost immediately fell asleep. _

_"I don't know how long it was, but at one point I was awakened—I don't know by what—and I saw whom I thought was Fancy leaning over me. I didn't see her clearly—my vision was still blurry and I was still a little dizzy, but I could've sworn it was Fancy." _

_Luis stopped and took a few deep breaths. How was he going to tell the rest of this story? Especially to a room in which Ethan was the only person he knew? And he was pretty sure that this was more than Ethan really wanted to know about his brother-in-law as well—lawyer or not._

"_Luis?" The second investigator (a beautiful woman) brought his attention back to the task at hand. "You said you 'thought' it was Fancy?"_

"_Yeah. I thought it was Fancy. She—she climbed on the couch… and straddled her legs across me. When—when…I…touched her hands, they were rough, and I knew it wasn't Fancy. I woke up fully then and saw another woman's face. I tried to fight, but she had this syringe…and she stabbed the needle into my arm…and that's all I remember."_

"_Did you recognize the woman?" Ethan asked._

"_She worked on the estate; she had served us pretty much all night…I think that Fancy called her…Mary Ann maybe? I don't really remember her name."_

_At that, the head investigator sat up straight and leaned across the table. "Could you identify her in a line up?"_

_Luis nodded. "Now that I remember, I could never forget her face."_

------------------------------

"Excuse me?" Ethan wasn't as shocked as annoyed at his wife's tone. Things had been so weird between them, he wasn't especially surprised that he had done something to make her mad. He just wasn't sure what it was yet.

"What? Are you trying to punish me for not letting you go to the appointment with me?"

Ethan sighed tolerantly. "What are you talking about? How exactly do you think I'm trying to punish you?"

Theresa scoffed. "Stop it Ethan. You know what I'm talking about. You didn't tell me about your meeting with Luis because you're mad at me for not letting you come see Eve with me."

That did shock Ethan, and his face showed it. "You actually think I would do that to you?"

Theresa was still so angry she didn't take time to think before she spoke. "What other reason could there be? I made you mad, so you decided to do something to get me back. That really is beneath you, Ethan!"

Ethan was angry now. "You're right. That is beneath me. So beneath me that it never crossed my mind."

Hearing her husband's words seemed to bring Theresa out of her own feelings. There were a few times in the time that she had known Ethan that she had seen him really angry, and this was turning out to be one of them.

"I didn't tell you because number one, the investigators called me here and asked that I meet with them right away, so I didn't even know I'd be meeting with Luis until the last minute. Number two, I figured you were busy and I didn't want to bother you right then. I didn't know what I was getting into anyway, so I thought I'd just fill you in on all the details when I got back."

Theresa had the good grace to look ashamed now. "I'm sorry. I didn't think."

"You never do anymore. Ever since your dad came back you've been walking around like you're the only one who's effected by it. Like your feelings are the only ones that matter."

"Ethan…"

"And I'm not going to pretend I don't notice how it's affecting us anymore." Ethan kept talking as if Theresa hadn't even spoken. He hadn't planned to say any of this, but it felt good to get it off his chest. "When you're ready to be reasonable, let me know." Ethan turned and walked toward his own office, but turned back at the last minute.

"Oh. By the way, we may have found a way to prove Luis is innocent."

His door closed behind him and Theresa stood in shock. Ethan had never spoken that harshly to her, even during the worst of fights. And he most certainly had never walked out on her. She had done that to him more than once or twice. Now she was finding that it didn't feel so good.

------------------------------

"_OK Luis. Take a look at these photos. Do you recognize anyone?"_

_Luis thought the investigation team was very on edge, and wondered what the deal was, but he looked at the photo lineup placed in front of him. "Yeah. That's her." _

_Both PI's exchanged a pointed look and Ethan immediately picked up on it._

"_What? What's going on?"_

"_When we interviewed the staff, Mary Ann was the only one that wasn't available. We were told that she had been recently let go. It took a little doing, but we finally found out it was because she was leaking all the recent stories about the Cranes to the press."_

_Luis and Ethan looked at each other. "OK. So what else did you find?" Luis knew that that little tidbit of information would make even a mediocre PI take a deeper look at the woman._

"_That Mary Ann has a penchant for making a little cash on the side in illegal activities."_

_Ethan cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?"_

"_Yes. Before she came to work for the Cranes, she was a pharmacist in rural Maine. She was fired and lost her licensure when it came out that she was dealing pills to the nurses and whoever else would buy. Which is how she'd have access to the drugs that were put in Luis's wine."_

_Ethan was writing as fast as he could. "OK. Why? What is her motive?"_

"_We pulled her financials, and there was a very large payment made to her about a week before the night in question. She's obviously being or was paid off."_

"_Where did the money come from?" Luis wanted to know._

"_An offshore account in the Caymans. It appears to be funded by Crane Industries." The head investigator waited to see if Ethan or Luis had questions._

"_Would Julian really pay to have his own daughter raped to frame me?" Luis was confused._

_Ethan shook his head. "That seems extreme. Even for Julian. But with getting caught for his part in framing Miguel, maybe he paid her and then sent her away in an effort to keep from getting caught." He turned back to the PI's. "Did you find anything else?"_

"_Nope. So far she seems to have just disappeared. We found her home here in Harmony and are waiting for a call from the landlord. But so far she hasn't used anything to help us track her activity or where she is."_

"_Find her…" _

Luis shook off the memory, and headed for home. Ethan's voice had been serious, and he understood the full import of the order. A date for his trial would be set soon. If they couldn't find Mary Ann by then, who knew what might happen to him.


	39. Chapter 38

Chapter 38 

Theresa knocked softly at his office door and hoped he'd forgive her. She didn't know what had made her say those things. Of course Ethan wouldn't do anything to get back at her. That just wasn't his way. And hadn't she just been thinking that she was acting like a shrew to him and that he didn't deserve it?

_"Come in."_

She took a deep breath and slowly waked into the office. "Hi." That sounded stupid as she said it, but she didn't quite know what to say yet.

"Hi." Ethan appeared to be looking over some papers, but Theresa knew that he was merely shuffling them around his desk. His voice wasn't exactly angry, but it wasn't particularly inviting either. This was going to be harder than she thought.

"Look. I'm sorry about what I said before, and for how I've been acting lately. You're right. My dad being here has me acting crazy."

He didn't say anything. Just continued to look at her with that guarded expression. She hated that look. He'd been wearing it a lot recently, but she'd been too caught up in her own stuff to really pay attention.

"Umm…I can't promise to be more open minded about my father, but I'll try not to take it out on you anymore and at least think about you've said."

She stood there looking so uncertain of his reaction. Her eyes were full of tears, and Ethan felt himself relenting. He never could resist her eyes. She sniffed quietly and waited for him to say something. He opened his arms instead, and she came quickly around the desk to sit in his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck, he kissed her softly on the forehead, and just held her in his arms. They didn't have to say anything else.

--------------------

"No. I never had a problem with her. Quiet. Paid her rent on time. No complaints from the neighbors. Left the house cleaner than when she found it, that's for sure!" The landlord laughed like that was the best joke in the world. "No ma'am. No problems at all. What's your business with Mary Ann anyway? And what did you say your name was Pretty Lady?"

"Amy Benson." The PI held out her hand and tried to hide her disgust. The landlord was wearing jeans and a white T-shirt—both obviously having seen better days. His hair was in desperate need of a comb at least, but a wash and cut would've been better. A shave wouldn't hurt him either. He smiled widely as he shook her hand and she noticed that he was missing most of his front teeth, and the ones that were left were in various stages of decay. "Mary Ann's name came up during a police investigation and we'd like to talk to her. Did she give any indication where she was going?"

"Not really. She said something about Castleton, but that's all I know."

"Thank you. You've been a big help."

"Glad to be of service. And if I can be of…_any more_ service, you stop by anytime." He grinned again and winked in a way that left no doubt as to his meaning, both of which only served to turn Amy's stomach. But she smiled politely and walked back to her car.

_Ring. Ring._

She checked the caller ID on her cell phone, then flipped it open. "Peter." she addressed the head investigator, Peter Williams, with a laugh. "I was about to call you. Just finished with the landlord. Real…nice guy."

Peter's chuckle was heard across the line as the tone of Amy's voice gave away her meaning. _"Did he at least give us something to go on?"_

Amy nodded, even though Peter couldn't see. "Yeah. He said something about her heading toward Castleton, but that was it. Up for a little road trip?"

"_I kind of figured that would be the next step. I'm getting ready to leave Crane Industries. I just need to talk to Mr. Winthrop first."_

"Any luck with that meeting?" Amy asked.

"_I'm not sure really. Something's weird. I'm just not sure what yet."_

--------------------

"So you're not sure that Julian is behind this?" Ethan and Theresa were listening to Peter's update on the offshore account angle.

Peter shook his head. "If he did, he deserves an Oscar for his performance as an Outraged Father. He seemed totally taken off guard when I began questioning him about Mary Ann's possible involvement of this. He said trading secrets was bad enough but hurting his daughter was unforgivable. When I asked him what he meant by that he said he couldn't believe one of the staff members would actually be brazen enough to do something like that in his home." Peter paused and Theresa spoke.

"Well, it wouldn't be the first time that Julian had everyone fooled about what was really going on in regards to his own family." She turned to Ethan then. "He did try to kill Sheridan—his own sister—more than once back in the day. If the price is right or the ends great enough, I think Julian is capable of anything."

Ethan nodded in agreement, but still looked skeptical. "I remember. But I think Julian has changed in that his devious plots are usually aimed at other people now and not his own family. Having his daughter raped seems especially heinous. And for what? To keep her from maybe marrying someone beneath her?" Ethan suddenly had a thought and turned back to the PI. "You haven't talked to my mother about this theory have you?"

Peter shook his head. "No sir. I haven't spoken to your mom other than initially when we started the investigation."

Ethan looked relieved. "Good. Don't. I will tell my mother everything she needs to know. We don't need her hysterics adding chaos to mayhem if Julian really is behind this."

"Understood. I also stopped by the accounting department to try to pinpoint any leads on the account. Someone named…." Peter looked at his notes for verification. "…named Chris Boothe said he'd look into it and get back to me right away."

"Chris? Really?" Both Theresa and Ethan were surprised and Peter questioned it right away.

"Yeah? Why? Is there something wrong with that plan?"

Ethan shook is head to the negative. "No. I'm just surprised he'd do anything to help clear Luis."

Peter was more confused than before. "Why?"

"Because Chris's wife is still in love with my brother." Theresa answered simply.

-------------------------------

_How dare she hurt my daughter? What kind of woman does that to another woman?_

Julian was standing at the window of his Crane office and trying to process the information that he was given by that Private Investigator. When Ethan had hired that team, he had thought it was a waste of Crane money, but now he was glad of it. To find out that his own staff could be bought so easily, could be bought so easily to harm his family…he was too enraged to finish that thought.

But not too enraged to give birth to another. It took hold of his mind and soul and he smiled in satisfaction as a plan began to form…


	40. Chapter 39

Chapter 39 

_"Good Evening. And welcome to 'Live at 5'. And of course today's top topic is the closing of the case against Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald of Harmony…."_

Click.

_"It is unknown what consequences if any Julian Crane and his son Nicholas Foxworth Crane will face for framing Miguel Lopez-Fit…."_

Click.

_"…with our guest Grace Nancier. Grace, is this a legitimate deal or is it another sweep job by the Crane lawyers and publicists?"_

"_Oh, I have no doubt that's exactly what it is. The proceedings were private, the actual details sealed from the press, so we'll probably never really know, but I highly doubt that either father or son will be spending time behind bars. And that's an outrage to me considering what they did to this poor man..."_

Theresa turned the TV off, and let out a breath. For once Grace wasn't getting on her nerves and she totally agreed with what she was saying. It was inconceivable that Julian and Fox weren't going to jail. But Miguel had taken his mother's advice, and chosen to be thankful that he got his family and his name cleared. He said that as long as some restitution was made, he was going to be satisfied with the public humiliation they were facing and marrying Kay and finally being the family they were meant to be.

"_I'm ready to get on with my life, Theresa."_ he had said_. "Now everyone knows how evil the Cranes can be, you're running the company that bears their name—that has to be killing them! And that's almost as good as having them go to jail."_

Theresa did not agree at all, but it was Miguel's life, and he didn't waste any time getting on with it. He and Kay had been married in a quiet ceremony at the courthouse a few weeks earlier (Kay having gotten the fastest divorce ever), and had moved into a little apartment while they looked for a house.

No, Theresa definitely agreed with Ms. Nancier, she just couldn't focus anymore attention on the news. Not tonight.

Tonight she would be spending the evening with her father.

Theresa groaned and began to pace around the family room. She could do this. She really could.

It hadn't been an easy decision. In fact she had kicked and screamed against it inside. But she was really trying to remember her promise to Ethan. And in doing so, she had come to a realization. In cutting herself off from her family, in refusing to enter into situations she might encounter him, she was giving him the power to do the one thing she didn't want him to be able to—control her. If she was really going to be free of Martin's influence, truly live a life in which he didn't matter, she had to face the situation head on. She had to stop hiding and deal with it.

So, tonight she was going to Oceanious, the classiest restaurant in Harmony, to celebrate with the family. They would be celebrating Miguel's freedom, his marriage and his family, and renewing hope of proving Luis's innocence as well. And she was going to stand tall in the presence of her father.

Because she could do this. She really could.

------------------------------

_Well. I guess I'm really starting over. _Mary Ann crossed over into New Hampshire and took a deep breath. _Now what?_

_Milton. S_he looked at the highway sign announcing the name of the town. Except she didn't see any town. Not even a roadside gas station. Too small. It would be better to find a big city in case Mr. Crane was still watching her. She'd be able to get lost easier in a big city, right?

Mary Ann continued to drive, passing one town after the next. This one was too small, that one didn't feel right, it was always something. After a few hours of driving she decided to stop at the next place regardless of what she thought of it at first.

_Manchester. At least I can see some buildings this tim, _she thought with a chuckle. _Well, lets see what Manchester has to offer._

"So this is where you're going to try to hide."

The beige Ford Focus was still following faithfully behind. At one point the driver was so concerned about not being noticed he had been afraid that he'd lost her, but he had caught up and had been careful not do that again. It just wouldn't do for her to get away.

"OK, Miss Mary Ann. Manchester it is."

------------------------------

Ethan pulled into the restaurant parking lot and glanced sideways at his very tense wife. He knew that this had been a hard decision for her; he remembered how he had stood in the doorway of the family room just before they left and watched her pace. He was proud of her. She was really trying. Things hadn't been perfect between them, but he wasn't walking around wondering when the next fight was going to be. Martin hadn't been mentioned until last night when the plans were made, and that had given Ethan a moments pause. But Theresa looked at how excited the kids were about seeing their grandfather, closed her eyes briefly and agreed. He reached for her hand and patted it reassuringly before quickly getting out of the vehicle to corral the kids that were already jumping out and running towards the building.

He had a good feeling about things. Miguel was free. He and Theresa were getting back on track. Now all they needed to do was find Mary Ann to help them prove Luis's innocence, and all their lives could get back to normal.

------------------------------

"So Fancy? Why aren't you at Miguel's little dinner?" Sheridan was still upset from her earlier phone call with Luis, and when Fancy knocked on her door she wasn't at all in a generous mood.

Fancy made herself comfortable on the couch. "How did you know about that?"

"Luis told me when he called earlier today." Sheridan purposely made it sound as if more had gone into the conversation than really had.

"Why did he call you?" Fancy looked hurt and her aunt took a modicum of pleasure in that. At least until she thought of the real reason Luis had called. "He wanted me to tell you that he wished you could come with them, but Ethan is still holding firm about you two not seeing each other." It irked her to her soul to deliver that message, but Luis was sure to find out and would want to know why she didn't pass it on.

"Oh. That's for sure. That's how I found out about the dinner anyway. I was begging Ethan to let me at least talk to Luis and he said absolutely not; he'd give whatever message I wanted him to when he saw Luis at dinner tonight." Fancy grinned devilishly. "I made it as sappy as possible. I think he's going to be sorry he said that he'd do that."

Sheridan tried to swallow her sudden nausea. "Well with any luck, this should be over before we know it."

"What should be over?" Chris asked as he walked in the door from work. As if he didn't know.

"This whole mess with Luis. I can't wait until he's proven innocent." Fancy was obviously put out with the whole process and she flipped her hair like a petulant child. Sometimes he couldn't believe she was a cop. If it wasn't for the fact that he needed her to keep Luis away from his wife, Chris wasn't sure he'd be able to tolerate her.

"Well, it might not take as long as you think." He was going to kiss his wife but stopped when she was the one to squeal with excitement.

"Really? Why do you say that?"

Chris growled inside, but didn't let his mood show. "The investigators Ethan hired seemed to be following a big lead. I know about it because it involves an offshore Crane account, and your maid, Fancy. What's her name, the one that was let go?"

"Mary Ann?" Fancy was shocked. "What does she have to do with this?"

Chris shrugged. "I don't know. I just said I'd see if I could find that account and see if I could find out what kind of activity has been on it. I'm surprised Ethan didn't mention it to you."

Fancy's eyes began to sparkle. "No he didn't. But I'm sure he was just trying not to get my hopes up. Whatever. As long as Luis is proven innocent."

"Yes. And thank you, darling husband for helping." Sheridan reached over to kiss Chris, and for the first time he blanched at her touch.

Now she wanted him. Only because of what he was doing for her. What would happen if Luis really were proven innocent? He would lose his wife in every way that mattered.

_And that just isn't an option…_


	41. Chapter 40

Chapter 40 

"Mija! It's so good to see you!" Pilar hugged Theresa as she and her family walked into the restaurant, then she lowered her voice. "I've missed you."

Theresa smiled slightly. "I've missed you too, Mama."

Pilar's eyes took on a motherly look. She knew what turmoil this was costing her daughter. "I'm proud of you."

Martin walked up to the group cautiously. He was so glad that his oldest baby girl had chosen to come tonight he wanted to cry. He stood there watching her. His baby girl had grown into a beautiful young woman and he had missed it. He'd never be able to explain how much sorrow that caused him. She must have sensed he was looking at her, because she looked him directly in the eye. Her eyes were shuttered, but she didn't look away.

"Papa."

Martin sighed and fought the lump that suddenly formed in his throat. "Hi Theresa. You look really nice tonight."

"Thanks."

That was all they could say before Bud, Jane, and Lily ran to him for hugs, and Theresa was relieved. That was about all she could handle right now. She felt Ethan's hand on her shoulder and felt his support without looking. Thank goodness they weren't fighting. As much as she wanted to stand on her own two feet in this, she wasn't sure she was ready to face it without him.

"Uncle Luis!" Bud's exclamation announced the arrival of the rest of the family, and Noah and Paloma as well as Miguel, Kay, and Maria arrived. Through the window, Theresa saw Sam and Jessica parking their car, and the focus switched to the newly weds—again, much to her relief.

But she could do this. She really could.

"So you're saying that Mary Ann raped Fancy? They have proof of this?" Katherine was dumbfounded.

"Not hard evidence obviously or there would be a warrant out for her arrest already." Julian was polishing off his second sherry of the evening. "But they think it was her. They're following up on a lead regarding some money she was apparently paid for the act. Oh yes, Mother. Mary Ann is our culprit all right."

Katherine shook her head in denial. "No Julian. That is not possible. No woman—even the cruelest of women—would rape another. They just wouldn't! Besides, if she was paid, who's behind it? And what is their motive? What could they possibly gain from hurting Fancy?"

"Who knows why anyone does anything? But it is most likely someone with a vendetta against us. Someone ill bred enough to punish my daughter for our success." Julian's

voice was at it's most snotty.

"You seem awfully cavalier for a man whose daughter was violated in such a way. I doubt this attack has anything to do with you! I think any dectective would tell you this was personal—as in personal to Fancy!" Katherine couldn't believe her son's attitude had surprised her yet again.

"Oh stop it Mother. Of course I care about what has happened to my daughter!" Julian snapped. He took a calming breath and then a deep drink from his goblet. "Now, the reason for her attack matters not. The only thing that matters is that punishment is meeted out, and I have taken care of things. Don't worry."

Katherine didn't say anything. For some reason Julian's admonishment had the opposite effect. She was definitely worried.

"Hello?"

"_Hi. It's me."_

"Where are you? I expected to hear from you a long time ago."

"Apparently Mr. Crane's anger reaches farther than I thought. Once I couldn't get work in the first two towns I stopped in in Maine, I just drove to New Hampshire. I figured he was too busy with other things to follow me all the way here."

"For your sake, I hope you're right."

"Well, I got a job already. That's a good sign right? I'm sure with everything that's going on with Luis's brother and the bad publicity he's totally forgotten about me.

"You better hope so Mary Ann. Heaven help you if he hasn't."

Dinner was almost over and Theresa was finally letting herself relax. Other than a few questions directed her way, she wasn't required to speak at all, let alone to her father. She just had to sit and enjoy the conversation around her, the antics of all the cousins, and the happiness of her family in general. It had been a long time coming. A burst of laughter brought Theresa back to the present. She wasn't sure what was so funny, but she smiled anyway. She had to admit, being with her family again felt really good.

As the merriment died down, Martin cleared his throat. It was obvious that he had something important to say, and everyone turned his or her attention to him.

"Umm. I just wanted to say how much being here…with my family…as my son starts his own family", he looked over at Miguel who had his arm around Kay who held a contented Maria in her lap. "I never thought this day would come."

Theresa looked around the table. Everyone else who seemed to be incredibly touched, which instantly irritated her and she barely resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"I never thought I'd see you all again, and when I came back I fully expected to have doors slammed in my face and to have you shut me out of your lives just as absolutely, but that hasn't happened. I can't tell you how humbled I am for that…"

Theresa wanted to gag. Please? Was he serious? And were they blind? She couldn't believe they were buying this.

"Don't lose it. Ignore it. Just put on the act and let it roll off your back."

"I hope that today is a new beginning. A new beginning for our family, so I'd like to propose a toast." Martin raised his glass and everyone followed suite. Theresa raised hers as well even thought she thought this charade was completely ridiculous.

"It's almost over. Just a couple more seconds and he's finished talking…" 

"To family and new beginnings." Martin finished.

"To family and new beginnings!" everyone echoed.

Theresa barely mouthed the words. Really, whom did he think he was kidding? Just because he said he was sorry and that he was humbled and blah blah blah, they were supposed to forget the last twenty years ever happened? And what about her? Didn't he ever wish he had been there to join in the happiness as she started a family? Did he just expect her to forget that he left her in Alistair's hands when he knew good and well what would be happening to her? Well she wouldn't! She would never forget! The more she thought about it the angrier she became, and the more the talking around her grated on her nerves, and the harder she found it to sit still.

Suddenly she felt Ethan's comforting hand on her knee under the table. She looked up at him and his eyes were understanding. "Thank you" he mouthed, showing he understood and appreciated her effort. That alone was enough to renew her resolve and get her through the rest of the meal. She just needed to take a short break.

"Ahem…excuse me." She murmured and left the table.

If she thought she was fooling anyone with her demure exit, she was wrong. They all knew she really hadn't forgiven Martin. But they chose to ignore it and be thankful she had come at all.

As the evening ended, and everyone was saying 'goodbye' in the parking lot, Bud came up to his mother. "Mom? Can Papa come over for dinner tomorrow?"

Theresa didn't know what to say. On one hand, looking into her son's pleading eyes, she didn't want to deny him. But on the other hand she knew she wasn't ready to have Martin as a guest in her home.

"Umm…well…I don't know…your father and I…"

Ethan took over from there. "Not tomorrow buddy. But hey, maybe your mom and I can talk about you spending some time at Papa's soon. OK?"

"Ohh…OK." Bud wasn't thrilled, but this was better than a flat out "no" like Theresa had been giving before.

"Thanks." Theresa hugged her husband as they followed the kids to the car.

"You're welcome." Ethan gave her one more squeeze before he helped her into her seat and headed around to the driver's side.

Well, she'd made it. She still wasn't ready to spend a lot of time with Martin. And she would never forgive him. But she had taken the first step toward loosening his grip on her life. She had taken the first step to really standing up as a grown and independent woman. For the first time she was doing something to take control of her life instead of reacting to it. And it felt good.

Ethan turned the car toward home, and she smiled to herself.

"Yeah. I'm pretty proud of me too."


	42. Chapter 41

Chapter 41 ~

"I guess she was serious about getting away from the Cranes."

"That or the Cranes were serious about punishing her for leaking those stories." Peter looked thoughtful. "They are said to have the ability to black ball whoever for whatever whenever they choose." He and Amy were still looking for Mary Ann without any luck, and had decided to stop at a local diner for dinner.

Amy twirled her fork through her spaghetti, equally thoughtful. "Do you think her suspected involvement in Fancy's rape has anything to do with how she seems to have just disappeared?"

Peter cocked his head to the side. "Possibly." Then his look turned serious. "Let's hope not though. If that's the case, things are infinitely worse for her."

Amy had to agree with a sad nod. "We better find her before the Cranes do."

"Well we better pray for a miracle in the form of a good lead, because I'm at a loss for what else to try..." Peter cut off as his phone rang.

"Peter Williams. Are you serious? Two weeks? Why? No. Amy and I were just talking about it, and without any more definitive leads we don't know what else to do. OK. Bye."

"What was that about?" Amy had an idea, but wanted to be sure.

"You better take the rest of that to go." Her partner signaled for the waitress and continued. "That was Mr. Winthrop. He said that a slot opened up, and Luis's trial is set to start in two weeks. I guess they decided that five months is plenty to wait for a trial. Peter Williams." He stopped to answer his phone again. "Mr. Boothe, what do you have for me."

Amy didn't have to ask what the call had been about. Peter's body language said it all. "Somehow that lead didn't pan out, did it?"

Frustration was radiating from Peter's voice. "According to Mr. Boothe, he can't track where the money is coming from. He's going to keep trying, but he's not sure he'll come up with something."

Amy's shoulders slumped. "I guess now would be a good time to start praying for that miracle."

* * *

"So Theresa, how are you doing?" Eve walked into the exam room and had a seat on a stool by the desk. Theresa was her last appointment of a very busy day, so Eve was pretty tired.

"I'm finally over the morning sickness, so I'm ahead of the game there." Theresa gave an exaggerated shudder. "I don't remember it lasting that long with the others."

"Well, each pregnancy's different. Some women have reported being sick the entire nine months. But I'm glad you're feeling better." Eve turned to Ethan then. "And you Ethan? How are you doing?"

"I'm doing fine. Glad Theresa is feeling better. That's for sure." he laughed.

Eve smiled. "I bet. And how are the kids taking the news?"

"Excited. Well at least Bud and Jane are. Lily isn't quite sure what the fuss is about. She keeps looking at my belly and saying "Baby? Baby in there?" Theresa chuckled.

Everyone laughed at that. "I'm sure that's a hard concept for a three year old to grasp." Eve remarked. "Well, lets see what we have today." she continued, and Theresa lay back on the table.

The exam was over pretty quickly, and Eve spoke while she make notes in Theresa's chart. "Well, you're still measuring a little behind where you are. You're twenty weeks now, and you're measuring about eighteen."

Ethan frowned. "Still? Are you sure we shouldn't be worried?"

Eve finished writing and looked up. "Well, we did an ultrasound last time and everything looks to be in perfect order. Your baby just looked to be a little on the small side. There might have been slightly less amniotic fluid than would be normal, but again, looking at the baby's kidneys everything looked normal. All of Theresa's lab work and urinalysis tests are fine as well." Eve looked thoughtful for a minute. "We could do an amniocentesis. Analyzing the amniotic fluid might give us a more definitive idea what is actually going on in there, but that has some risk associated with it."

"Like what?" Theresa was afraid to ask. Nothing like this had ever happened in her other pregnancies, so she'd never had to consider an amniocentesis and wasn't sure what to expect now.

"Well, since I'd be inserting a needle into your belly to extract the fluid, sometimes you have more cramping and bleeding. Usually that resolves in a few days. But I think that the main one we tend to think of is miscarriage because we are disrupting the environment to a degree. Now the consensus is still out on if an amnio really makes a woman miscarry since miscarriage is still not at all uncommon in the second trimester anyway. But without conclusive evidence to the contrary we still list it as a possible side effect."

Eve saw Ethan and Theresa exchange worried looks and tried to reassure them. "I really don't think it's necessary to make that decision now. Like I said, based on the ultrasound I didn't see any abnormalities—just a little peanut of a baby. So I think this is an idea that maybe you should just think over and we can see how things look next month. OK?"

Ethan and Theresa looked at each other again then nodded.

"OK. Then you keep taking it easy Theresa—I know that's hard for you with everything going on." Eve said. "But try anyway, and I'll see you next month."

* * *

"Have you seen this woman?"

Peter and Amy were checking into a motel for the night, and Peter felt there wouldn't be any harm in asking. Maybe Mary Ann had stopped here on her way to wherever.

The desk clerk looked at the picture, and shook her head. "Sorry. I've never seen her."

"Are you the only one that works here? Could someone else have seen her?" Amy knew this was a total shot in the dark, a probable dead end, but what did they have to lose at this point?

Oh yeah. Luis Lopez-Fitzgearld's life. As he knew it anyway.

The young girl shrugged. "I'm sorry. I guess we can ask my manager." She picked up the phone, dialed a number, then spoke to the person that answered. "She'll be here in just a minute." she told them.

"Thanks." Amy said.

"How can I help you all tonight?" The manager suddenly appeared, and the process was repeated with her.

"Have you seen this woman?" Peter again held up the picture.

The manger tilted her head to the right, then looked closer. "You know, I think a woman that looked kind of like her passed through her a few days back. Maybe a week."

"You _think_?"

"_Kind of_ looked like?" Amy and Peter didn't like the dead end that kind of wording pointed to.

The manager nodded, more confidently than before. "Yeah. I remember her now. She remarked how it seemed silly to stop so close to the border since she was just going to New Hampshire, but that she had to get some sleep. She paid with cash. I remember because we rarely get cash now that everyone uses debit."

"Is there a way we can see who rented rooms from that far back?" Peter hardly dared to hope. He flashed his credentials. "We're looking for her in a police matter."

"Sure. We have to input identifying information even if they pay with cash, so it should be in the computer still." The manager motioned for them to follow her to the back.

Amy took a minute to look upward. _"God, I know I haven't been a praying person in the past, but please…could you help us now? An innocent man's life depends on it."_

* * *

"_What? You really need to stop calling. What if they have a trace on your phone or something?_

Mary Ann resisted the urge to snap at his tone. She knew what was at stake here. "I wouldn't be calling if it wasn't important." She drew another breath. "I need the rest of my money."

"_Oh no. You know the deal. You'll get the rest when Luis is convicted."_

"Come on! I heard on the news that a trial date has been set, and they haven't figured out the deal yet."

"_That's just it. They haven't figured it out—yet. But they haven't given up. That Ethan still has a private investigation team on the case, and they're still snooping around asking more questions. We can't afford any mistakes."_

Mary Ann groaned. "Well, I had to use a credit card today…"

"_What? Are you crazy? They can trace that for sure!"_

"I rented a studio and I needed at least a chair! What was I supposed to do?" Mary Ann snapped.

"_Sit on the floor!"_ He growled, and it sounded as if he'd thrown something. _"All right. I'll get you some more money. But that's it until the trial is over. You got that?"_

Yeah. Don't worry. I got it.


	43. Chapter 42

Chapter 42 ~

"We're going to Pa-pa's house! We're going to Pa-pa's house! We're going to Pa-pa's house!" Lily's chanting matched her skipping around the kitchen. Skipping such as it was. She hadn't quite mastered the skill of switching from her left to her right foot as she went, instead continuously leading with one foot or the other.

Lily wasn't the only one that was excited. Bud and Jane were making quick work of helping Mrs. Patterson clean up from breakfast so they could be on their way. Seeing how happy this made her children was the only reason that Theresa had agreed to take them to see Martin today. Ethan was working night and day preparing Luis's case for trial, or he would've taken them—he was so thrilled that she had decided to make this concession. She had thought about asking Mrs. Patterson to do the driving, but the woman worked so much during the week she deserved her weekends off, and Theresa had dismissed the idea.

Besides, having someone else do this would take away another opportunity to take more steps toward having him mean nothing in her life. That's what she wanted. She couldn't forgive him, and she was finding it took too much energy to hate him. So she was going for indifference. That seemed more appropriate anyway. Not only did hating him require more energy than she had, it also required her to care about him. And she simply didn't give a rat's a** about him anymore.

At least she didn't want to.

* * *

"_Chris still can't find anything? Well, where did that money come from?"_ Ethan was as perplexed as Peter was on the other end of the phone line.

"Whoever is skimming the money is doing a very good job. I mean you and Theresa had not idea about the account." Peter stopped to think. "Is it possible that this was an account already in existence when you and your wife took over? That the Cranes had that money stashed away and someone in the loop knew about it?"

"_Could be. But wouldn't Chris have been able to figure that out?"_

"You'd think so. Anyway, I know we need to figure this out soon, so I asked one of our investigators that works with this kind of thing all the time to take a look, as well as asked another one of the Crane accountants to help Mr. Boothe out. I assumed that would be OK with you." Peter reported.

"_Absolutely. Whatever you need. So…any luck tracking down Mary Ann?" _Ethan's voice took on a hopeful tone, and Peter's did as well.

"Well, we know she's in New Hampshire. She stopped at a roadside motel close to the border and mentioned to the manager that's where she was headed. Actually, that's still where we are right now—trying to form a better plan of attack. We're still checking for ATM and credit card transactions, but so far nothing—what?" Amy had come up behind him and was frantically pointing to something on the screen of her laptop. "Hold on a second…" Peter quickly scanned the screen, and then his eyes lit up.

"She just used her credit card in…Manchester it looks like. And it was at a furniture store, so I'm guessing she's going to stay there awhile."

"_Well why are you still talking to me? Get down there and start looking for her!"_

"Don't worry Mr. Winthrop. We're running out the door as we speak…"

* * *

"She's working at some mom and pop family restaurant—waitress. She's actually pretty good at it, and the food wasn't half bad either." He could still taste the surf and turf platter, and he licked his lips as he locked the rented Ford Focus and headed into his room for the night. He was staying at a quaint little bed and breakfast, mostly because he thought it was funny to find one in a town that offered some of the bigger hotel chains around.

"_I don't really care about that. I'm not paying you to critique the food or her job skills."_

"Yes sir. What do you want me to do now?"

"_Nothing. Just keep watch. I'll let you know what to do when it's time."_

* * *

"Chris darling?"

Chris swallowed the bile that was rising in his throat. To hear Sheridan calling him that would have, at one time, brought a smile to his face and joy to his heart. Now it just made him mad. It made him feel used. She was only being so congenial because she knew he was helping Luis, and for that she would be "eternally grateful" he was sure. But he didn't let any of his inner turmoil show as he turned to her with a ready smile.

"Yes, d_arling_?"

"I brought you a cup of tea. I thought you could use a break from all the research you're doing." Sheridan set a tray with a pot of tea and a plate of tea cookies in front of him. "And if it's OK, I thought I'd join you."

_Don't blow it. She's going to need a shoulder to cry on when Luis goes to jail for the rest of his life. Which he will!_

"Of course it's OK. I can't imagine a better break than a cup of tea with my beautiful wife."

_Just play the part of the wonderful, doting husband, no matter how mad you are right now._

"So, how is it going anyway? Any leads on that account?" Sheridan was pouring the tea nonchalantly, as if she was merely curious, but of course Chris knew better. The life of her precious Luis rested on what he found.

"Nothing yet. It's slow going. But don't give up hope. We still have some time to find what Luis needs." He smiled reassuringly at Sheridan, who took a sip of tea and nodded, nothing short of hope filling her eyes.

_There may still be time, but I'm not going to use it to Luis's advantage. I'm going to use it to mine…._

* * *

Theresa turned into the parking lot at the B&B and tried to calm her heart.

_You can do this. You got through dinner, you can get through dropping the kids off._

Most of the parking spaces were empty, the guests out sightseeing or whatever for the day. She parked in the closest one to the building and turned the car off. Bud and Jane hopped out before she was ready, and Theresa went to the back to let Lily out of her booster seat. Lily reached for her mom's hand (it was a rule that she always had to have an adult's hand when walking in a parking lot) and Theresa took it automatically. Just as automatically, she followed her oldest children into the building.

_Breathe. You can do this. You can drop the kids off and leave. Nothing to it._

Bud and Jane obviously remembered which room was their grandfather's, and were knocking on the door while Theresa and Lily were a way behind. He must've seen them drive up, or was as excited to see them as they were to see him because the door opened immediately.

"Papa!"

"Hey kids!"

By that time, Lily and Theresa had caught up and Lily was a willing participant in the happy little reunion. Martin looked up and Theresa didn't miss the look in his eye.

She felt herself stiffen. She couldn't handle that look. It made her feel things. Things like…longing…

pity…

love…

forgiveness.

She couldn't have that.

She didn't want that.

"So. What time should we pick them up?" Her voice was crisp, her face showing no emotion whatsoever. Martin tried to cover his disappointment. He had hoped they'd be getting past some of this.

"You don't have to pick them up. I can bring them home."

"That's not necessary." Her voice was much shorter than she intended; her father's face told her that much and she hated that she had shown some weakness. Shown that he still made her angry. "Maybe one of us should pick them up by 4:00 or 4: 30. That way we'll get home in time for dinner."

Martin swallowed hard and nodded. He didn't want to cause anymore conflict. "OK. Whatever you want Baby Doll."

Theresa immediately felt the old anger rise and begin to overflow.

_I have to get out of here…NOW!_

Barely remembering to kiss her kids 'goodbye', she ran from the B&B, and tears filled her eyes so that she could barely see. Too upset to drive safely, she decided to take a walk around town. She hadn't taken two steps before she began to berate herself…

_You stupid girl! You are so weak! Get a grip!_

She guessed this would be a longer process than she thought.


	44. Chapter 43

Chapter 43 ~

"_OK. Whatever you want Baby Doll."_

_You are so weak!_

"_I can bring them home."_

_Not even close._

"_Whatever you want Baby Doll."_

_He really means that I think._

_Who cares?_

"_Baby Doll…."_

_Stop it._

_Those pleading eyes…_

_I won't think about that…_

"_Baby Doll…"_

_No!_

"_Baby Doll…"_

_I won't think about him!_

"_Baby Doll…"_

_STOP IT!_

By now, Theresa had wandered into the park and stumbled against a huge maple tree. She squeezed her eyes shut, and clamped her hands over her ears, willing the voices to stop.

_Please! Go away! Just stop!_

For a minute they seemed to disappear. Theresa opened her eyes and cautiously dropped her hands from her head. The taunting voices were quiet, and she breathed a sigh of relief. But not for long. Around every tree, they were waiting.

_Baby Doll._

Behind every bush, they jumped out at her.

_Remember how his eyes pleaded with you._

They even peeked around every flower.

_Maybe you should give up the fight._

"NO!" Theresa yelled out loud. "Do you hear me? I don't need him! I won't forget! And I'll never forgive!"

She sank to the ground, her hands covering her face, but they couldn't contain the tears that fell freely. Only two words fell brokenly from her lips…

"Help me…"

* * *

"OK Luis. One more." Sam was spotting Luis as he bench pressed in the department weight room, and could tell that he was starting to flag.

"Push through it…good." Sam lifted the barbell into its stand and Luis sat up, panting for breath. Sam looked at Luis with a critical eye. He was dripping with sweat, and looked ready to collapse. And why shouldn't he? He had just been through a work out more grueling than Sam had seen in a long time. He'd gone from a round of cardio straight into a round of weights, lifting rep after rep and set after set with barely a break. He guessed it was on to another round of cardio; Luis stood silently and headed for the treadmill. Sam had watched Luis keep this pace for more than a few weeks. But he didn't look any better for the wear. For all the new muscle mass, it was obvious that he was losing weight—and not just because he was working out harder and longer than ever before. He wasn't eating. He couldn't be.

But the biggest change was in his face. His cheeks were gaunt. His eyes sported dark circles, telling of the sleep that Luis wasn't getting. And his eyes themselves—they'd lost that carefree sparkle that the Lopez-Fitzgerald children were known for. The smile that was always ready on his lips, the laugh that everyone quickly came to know, was gone. The infectious energy drained. To Sam it was all so obvious. Luis's soul was broken.

The only thing he didn't know was why. The few times Sam tried to talk to him about things, Luis immediately shut him down…

No, he wasn't worried about the case. Ethan had some promising leads and they were going to prove he was innocent yet…

No, he wasn't having problems with Martin. Actually, this situation had helped clear the air…

Yes, he was happy that Miguel was a free man with the family he had always wanted…

Did he want to talk about what was bothering him…?

No…

Sam thought about trying again, but knew it was futile. When Luis was ready, he would speak. He hoped it was soon though. He watched Luis pick up the pace by punching a few buttons on the treadmill's control panel. Now he was full out running. Sam had the feeling that Luis couldn't run away from whatever was bothering him, but it wasn't going to stop him from trying.

_

* * *

_

_Knock Knock._

"Mama?"

Pilar looked up from the beans she was cutting to Paloma who washing more in the sink.

"In the kitchen Mija." she answered, concern in her voice.

Theresa walked into the kitchen and Pilar's eyes widened at her tear streaked face.

"Mija! What's the matter?" She rushed to give her daughter a hug and help her sit at the table. Paloma shut off the water at the sink and joined them as well, wiping her hands on a towel.

Theresa shook her head as tears filled her eyes again, but she would not let them fall. "Papa`."

Pilar had wondered when this conversation would happen. "What about him?"

"How do you do it?" Theresa blurted out.

"Do what?" Pilar had an idea where Theresa was going with this but wanted to make her spell it out.

"Everything. Forgive him. Let him back in. After everything he's done. Especially with Katherine. How do you stand it?"

Pilar was thoughtful for a moment. "I think at first I did mostly because we needed all the help we could get as a family. Your brothers were charged with some serious crimes, I really couldn't see any way out for either of them, and I thought it was best to focus on that and not sins of the past.

"But as we spent more time with your father, he seemed extremely sincere in his desire to help and to rebuild this family. He was steadfast in his denial of an affair with Katherine, and it seemed to be the most important thing in the world that we believe him. He's been here everyday helping the boys, talking with Paloma, talking to me…whatever he can do to show us how serious he is about being back and never leaving again.

"I looked at him, and began to see glimpses of the man I had fallen in love with and married all those years ago. So I prayed to God to help me do what the church teaches us—forgive as we've been forgiven, and then I took a leap of faith. I decided to believe him."

Theresa's pain was evident as she contemplated that. "So just like that, you forgot about the last twenty years? You don't want to make him pay for leaving us, for leaving you?"

"It would be very easy to fall into that." Pilar admitted. "But what kind of mother would I be if I couldn't do the things I'd always taught you to do? If I didn't believe the things I taught you to believe? I always told you that your heart doesn't have room for hate. That you don't have enough time on this earth for revenge. That they both take over your life until they're all you have."

Paloma nodded. "I remember that. I also remember you told us that it's easy to be good when everything is going our way. But God didn't promise us an easy time on this earth, and sometimes he sends trials to teach us something, to draw us closer to Him, to remind us what is important. You said that who we are, the strength of our characters, would be decided by how we dealt with the hard stuff."

Pilar felt pride fill her heart. "Yes I did. And for me this was one of those times. It's not always easy, but I think letting your father back into our lives was the right thing to do."

Theresa's mind was racing trying to absorb all that her mother was saying, and Pilar waited for the question that she knew was coming.

"Do you still love him?"

"I will always love your father. We had good times. He gave me you children who I treasure more than anything in this world. He was my friend before he was my lover." Pilar laughed to herself as both Paloma and Theresa shifted uncomfortably. She guessed that no matter how grown up kids became, they didn't want to hear about their parents being lovers. "But if you're asking if I'm still in love with him, I don't know."

"But you're not opposed to taking him back into your life as your husband? Not just the father of your children?" Theresa pushed Pilar to answer.

Pilar chuckled. "I just told you, sweetie, that I don't know. I think I'll just cross that bridge if and when I get to it."

Theresa just sat there trying to take it all in, then she shook her head sadly and this time the tears did fall. "I can't. I can't get past it all. He left me to be raped and battered by Alistair. I don't believe him when he says that he never slept with Katherine. I can't forgive him for the pain he caused this family. I just can't."

"You can't or you won't?" Pilar wanted to make Theresa admit which it really was.

Theresa shrugged. "Can't. Won't. Maybe both. I'm sorry to fail you Mama. But I just can't."

Pilar leaned over and held her then. "Don't ever think that you've failed me. I'm proud of you and your family and what you're doing with Crane Industries. And it's a hard thing, forgiving your father. But I'm going to pray that you do."

* * *

"So you're telling me that the account wasn't just set up?" Peter paused and listened for a minute. "No deposits, just withdrawals. Can you figure out who's been making the transactions? OK. Thanks."

"Chris Boothe?" Amy asked as Peter clicked his phone shut.

"No. The accountant I asked to help him. I wonder why Chris didn't find the same thing." Peter frowned.

"Maybe he's just not as good?" Amy offered.

"If this other guy found it readily enough I'd think Chris could too."

Amy looked serious. "Do you think he's in on this?"

Peter shook his head. "I doubt it. I mean, he's fairly new at Crane and this account has been around for awhile. With only withdrawals being made, it would suggest that this party knew about the account and has the clearance to access it. I'd be surprised if Chris did."

"Which brings us back to Julian Crane." Amy said. "Raping his own daughter? That's just sick." Her face twisted into a look of disgust. "What kind of father does that?"

"Theresa did say he was good at hiding things. But it just doesn't make sense to me. Why[i] would[/i] Julian do this to is own child?" Peter asked.

* * *

"You can't be serious!"

"_Do I sound like I'm joking?"_

"Well, no. But you can't possibly be ordering me to do this."

"_You forget whom you're talking to. I am ordering you to do this, and you will do it! Think of your family. They'd miss you so much."_

"Don't hurt them! You leave my family out of this!"

"_Do as I say, and I won't."_

"OK OK." he said quickly. "You win."

"_I knew you'd see things my way."_

_Click._

He listened to the dial tone and fought the feeling of panic rising in his soul. He never would've signed on if he knew it would come down to this. He'd done a lot of questionable things, but never anything like this. But he also knew the threat was real. His life would be over if he didn't do it. And who knew what would happen to his family.

A plan started to form in his head, and soon it was set. He was ashamed. He couldn't even look up as he prayed.

"_Please God, have mercy on my soul."_


	45. Chapter 44

Chapter 44 ~

Theresa awoke Sunday morning to the happy screams of her kids playing in the pool. Without opening her eyes, she rolled onto her back and stretched luxuriously under the light sheet. Surprisingly enough, she had actually slept better than she had in weeks. She guessed crying your eyes out for hours and having a deep conversation with your mother would wear you out. She was still lying in bed when the door opened softly, and she turned her head against the pillow to see Ethan peeking in.

"Oh good. You're awake. I'll be right back."

Theresa smiled softly to herself. What was he up to now? It had been very much like old times between the two of them. Since she'd decided to try to keep a more open mind about her father, and Ethan had realized that was basically all he could ask of her, things had gotten much easier.

"Here you go." Ethan returned at that moment, balancing a tray of food, and Theresa propped herself up in bed.

"Oh. You're so sweet." She sniffed the fresh cut yellow and pink rose that floated in a small bowel of water. "And it's beautiful. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Ethan accepted his wife's kiss. "And the rose was Mrs. Patterson. I was going for the traditional long stem rose in a vase, but she said that was so…boring. And don't worry about the kids in the pool. She's watching them right now."

Theresa smiled. "Well, I'll have to thank her. But I would've loved it either way as long as it came with the Belgian waffle!" Theresa eyed the breakfast hungrily. Belgian waffles had been her craving this pregnancy, and Mrs. Patterson's peach sauce was absolutely divine. She sliced fresh peaches and mixed them with her homemade canning syrup; add a dollop of whipped cream and you basically had dessert for breakfast.

It was Ethan's turn to smile. "I asked her if she'd make them special for you. It seemed like yesterday was pretty hard on you." She hadn't discussed the details, but she looked so drained when she got home with the kids and was so quiet the night before. "And we've all been stressed a little with Luis's trial coming up."

Since her mouth was already full all Theresa could do was nod, and Ethan chuckled and dabbed a small drop of syrup at the corner of her mouth. "And of course the baby." He paused before continuing. "I think maybe we should talk about what Eve said at your appointment."

Theresa took another bite and stayed quiet.

"Any thoughts?" Ethan asked.

"I don't know." Theresa swallowed and looked at him uncertainly. "She said that everything looked OK. The baby is just small. Do we really need to do the test?"

Ethan held her gaze steadily. "I don't know. I mean, part of me wants to leave well enough alone. But we have had a couple of concerns this time around. First because we couldn't hear the heartbeat when we thought we would, and now you're small for where you should be. And I know you said that you were a little worried that you hadn't felt the baby move at the time you had with the others. Maybe we should make sure everything is all right."

"Maybe. But it's not going to change anything for us to know. We'd never consider terminating my pregnancy." Theresa said.

"Of course not. But we could be prepared…for whatever." Ethan countered.

"I guess." Theresa wasn't sold. "What if we did the amniocentesis and found out that something really was wrong? I think that waiting for and dealing with that would take away from our excitement and from the miracle of our child being born. We'd be so worried and focused on what was going to come."

Ethan bit the inside of his lip the way he always did when he was thinking hard. "I hadn't thought of it that way. But on the flip side of that, do we want to go on expecting everything to be fine and then get a shock if it isn't?" He watched her finish eating and continued to think. Finally he just had one question. "How do you feel? Physically, I mean?"

Theresa shrugged slightly. "I feel fine. The baby's moving around more and more. [i]I[/i] think I'm gaining plenty of weight." she giggled. I guess I don't think we should look for trouble."

Ethan nodded. "OK. Then unless Eve really thinks we need to we won't do it."

* * *

"Dude. You serious. You want us to do _what_ again?"

He explained what he needed done, and the men looked at each other.

"I don't know man. We don't do that."

"Yeah. That's pretty harsh. Hard core." a second man piped up.

He looked around the table at the men through the heavy cigarette smoke. This was the worst bar in town he'd found out. If the police were involved, it usually had something to do with this place. A bigger bunch of thugs and criminals couldn't be found around here, and even they thought it was over the top. But he had to convince them. If not, he might as well hire a hit on himself; if he didn't his boss just might. "You'd be handsomely rewarded."

The biggest of the group, apparently the ringleader, spoke up then. "Look, you heard the guys. That's hard core. Even for us. They ain't no dollar amount big enough for that kind of job…" He cut off when he was quoted a figure that made his eyes pop. "A piece?"

"If that's what it takes."

The men looked at each other, and he could see the dollar signs flashing.

"Deal."

"So how are you going to do this?"

"You don't want to know." The ringleader spoke again. "Just give us a number to contact you and we'll let you know when it's done."

He felt the need to warn them. "Don't screw this up. My boss is very serious and he can make your lives very miserable."

"Don't sweat it. We know just the type, and they never been disappointed in our work."

* * *

"So have they found Mary Ann yet?" Luis was pacing around Ethan's office. The trial was set to start in just a few days and Luis was losing faith. "We need her, Ethan." Then a horrible thought crossed his mind and he stopped dead in his tracks. "What if she's a dead end? What if we're totally going the wrong way about this? We don't have time to…"

"Luis...Luis…Luis!" Ethan finally had his attention. "I don't think so. I think Mary Ann is exactly the missing piece here. Peter and Amy tracked her to Manchester, New Hampshire over a week ago. They know where she lives, but they haven't been able to catch her there, and they can't figure out where she works."

Luis dropped into the nearest chair and hung his head.

"But they've contacted the local authorities to be on the look out, and between the two of them, they're trying to keep what amounts to a 24 hour watch on her apartment." Ethan put his hand on his brother-in-law's shoulder. "Don't worry we'll get her."

Luis nodded. "I just want to know why, you know? Why me? Why Fancy? What did we do to make someone hate us this much?"

Ethan couldn't answer and was saved from having to try by the ringing of his phone. "Ethan Winthrop. Oh great. What do you have for me?"

Luis watched Ethan's eyes take on new life, and he sat forward expectantly. He couldn't tell much from Ethan's side of the conversation, but he figured that it was about his case and that it must be good.

"That's great. Bring everything over right now so we can look it over. Now if Peter and Amy would get back to me, we could have this all sewn up."

"What? Who was that? What did they say? What are they bringing over?"

Ethan stood with his hands on his hips, a smile playing across his lips. "That was one of the other investigators that's working with Amy and Peter. He said not only did he find out who is accessing that account, he found another large withdrawal made in the last week and a half and found the exact same amount deposited into Mary Ann's account the next day. He also said that Amy asked him to keep checking Mary Ann's phone records. Which he did, and found that she had been getting a lot of calls from and has been making calls to a number with a prefix that suggests someone from Harmony. He dialed the number, got voice mail…"

"And the name of the person that owns the phone!" Luis was catching on.

Ethan nodded. "And the best part…it's the same person that is accessing the Cayman account."

"Well who is it?" Luis was desperate to know.

"He wouldn't say over the phone. He just said that we should prepare to be surprised."

* * *

Amy yawned and took another gulp of her iced mocha. The coffee wasn't working anymore. This heat wasn't helping. Even in the shade it was eighty degrees. She wished Peter would get back with their lunch. She was starving, and watching this apartment was boring as all get out.

Maybe this wasn't the place? This was the address the furniture store had delivered her purchase to. It seemed like the kind of place a woman that was trying to hide on a small salary would live. But they'd been staking it out for two days and hadn't seen Mary Ann's car come or go. True they'd each fallen asleep a couple times, had had to leave for meals and to use the bathroom, so it was possible that they were just missing her. But that seemed hard to believe. At no time in the last forty-eight hours had Mary Ann been home? It didn't make sense. She adjusted her sun hat to cover more of her face and reached for the bottle of sunscreen. When Peter got back she'd tell him she thought this was a waste and that they needed to go back to the drawing board.

Another ten minutes passed, and Amy was having a really hard time staying awake when she heard a screen door slam shut. Her eyes flew open and sleep fled as she again focused on the building. A woman was walking down the front walk. Amy grabbed her binoculars and focused.

_Well that's why we couldn't find her!_ She watched Mary Ann climb into her car. _She must've gotten rid of her old car when she moved! D***! She thought of everything._

Grabbing her cell phone, Amy focused on the license plate and quickly hit the speed dial for the local police department. "Yes Lieutenant Baker? It's Amy Benson. I need you to be on the look out for a gray Chevey Malibu, license number…" She finished reciting the plate number and listened as it was repeated back to her. "That's correct. That's the car our missing lady is driving."

As she hung up, she wondered what was taking her partner so long. She dialed his cell phone, got voice mail, and left a brief, irritated message. She continued to fume over the irony, but calmed down after a few minutes.

_That's OK. Now that we know what she's driving, we can catch her when she comes back. And then it will all be over._


	46. Chapter 45

**Rating: R--mature subject matter/crime plot**

Chapter 45 ~

"I can't believe that we missed her!"

It was several hours later, they had switched to a different stakeout spot, and Peter was still berating himself that he had been gone when Mary Ann appeared. Who incidentally had not reappeared since she'd left late afternoon.

"Don't beat yourself up. We didn't know she was driving a different car. We'd been watching the place for two days without any sign of her. It's just one of those things." Amy said.

"I know. But I also know an innocent man is about to stand trial in a couple days, and if we're going to stop it from taking place we don't need these kinds of things to happen."

Amy shrugged. How many times were they going to go over this? It happened, she threw a small tantrum, and got over it; was already concentrating on the next thing. She wasn't going to keep repeating herself to make Peter feel better. But it was getting late, she was hungry again, and her water bottle was empty. She stretched a little and then turned to her partner.

"How about I go get us some dinner?"

"I guess I could eat." Peter was still put out and Amy rolled her eyes lightly. She wished he could just focus.

"What do you want?"

"It doesn't matter. Whatever you get is fine."

Amy started to walk toward the car. "OK. I'll call you when I decide and you can tell me what you want."

Peter didn't answer. He watched absently as Amy pulled away from the spot and went back to watching the apartment. His attention was drawn back as suddenly she turned around and came speeding back. She was leaning out the window and frantically gesturing for him to come over.

"Hurry up! Get in!"

Peter didn't ask any questions; just ran for the passenger side of the car, figuring that it must be about Mary Ann. "Did they find our car?"

"Better!" Amy made another U-turn and sped down the street. "They found our girl."

"Really? Where?" Peter asked.

Amy looked sober. "Back alley behind the restaurant where she works."

Peter's heart jumped into his throat.

"I don't know all the details," Amy continued. "They just said we need to get to Manchester General—like _right now_—if we were going to talk to her."

A feeling of dread settled into Peter's stomach. This was not good.

* * *

"Are you kidding me?" Luis wasn't shocked as much as disgusted.

Ethan was more objective. "From his point of view, what I guess would be his point of view, I guess it would make sense."

"He hurt _family_, Ethan. _Fancy is family_. I'm not even talking about what he had done to me right now." Luis was back to pacing, and Ethan continued to look through the papers the investigator had brought.

"Are you sure this is it? You didn't miss anything else?" Ethan asked him.

"Well, I don't think so. But honestly, I put these pieces together and didn't look too much further." the investigator answered.

Ethan looked thoughtful. "Keep digging." He finally said. "I want to go into this with as much information—ammunition if you will—as I can. I want to be able to bury him if need be."

Luis looked a little surprised. "Wow Ethan. When did you start playing hardball?"

Ethan threw the files down and his desk and looked up at the other two men with narrowed eyes. "When he arranged the rape of two people. I don't even care what his story is. Rape is one of the most heinous crimes there is. And I'm going to make sure he knows that."

* * *

Amy and Peter rushed into the emergency room at Manchester General Hospital, and were met at the desk by a police officer that took them to a side room that was serving as a briefing room for the detectives and officers.

"Benson and Williams?"

"Uh…yeah. I'm Peter Williams and this is Amy Benson."

"Hello." Amy shook hands with the detective.

"I'm Detective Lewis. Good to meet you both."

"So what do we have here?" Amy asked.

"We found your missing lady, I already told you, in the back alley behind the restaurant she works at. The staff was worried when she didn't show up for work, but when she didn't answer her phone when they called, they just figured that she was another one of those that quit without notice. Dish washer took out the trash, and found her."

Peter was writing as fast as he could. "So exactly what are we dealing with?"

"Beaten nearly to death, raped, and according to her by more than one man. By the look of things, I wouldn't doubt it."

"Dear God." Amy covered her face and even Peter was having a hard time staying in his role.

"How bad?" he asked.

"The only reason you're here is because we're waiting for the surgeon. Doctor's are anticipating a lot of internal damage. Her blood pressure is low and dropping—she's bleeding from somewhere. She's not breathing too well. She's in and out of consciousness, but when she's awake she's lucid. You better hurry up though. Once the surgeon gets here, you'll be out of luck."

Peter nodded. "Thanks."

The detectives left the room, and were led by one of the nurses to Mary Ann's. "You're in luck." she said. "She's awake right now, but she does have some pretty heavy pain meds on board. She's a little sleepy."

Walking into her room, Peter and Amy weren't prepared for what they found. 'Beaten nearly to death' was a grossly inadequate description. They barely recognized her between her injuries, bandages, and tubes and wires attached to machines all over the room. Her breathing was shallow, so an oxygen mask covered what little they might have been able to see. The smell of blood permeated the room, and they both suddenly felt nauseated.

"Mary Ann?" Amy took the lead and Peter was more than happy to let her. "I'm Detective Benson and this is my partner Detective Williams."

Mary Ann turned slightly toward the sound of Amy's voice and Amy found herself looking into the woman's eyes. They were so swollen that she couldn't open them far, but her torture and pain shown through.

"We know you already told the other detectives what happened, but we'd like to hear it for our investigation just in case the two incidents happen to be related. Since you can't write right now, we will be taping this. Is that OK with you?"

Mary Ann nodded.

Peter hit record on the Dictaphone and Mary Ann began.

"I was running late to work, so my usual place in the parking lot was taken and I had to park further down the block on the street. I almost reached the employee entrance near the back, when I heard a scuffle behind me. Before I could turn to see what it was, a hand covered my mouth, and I was lifted off the ground by a very large man and carried into the alley." She paused trying to collect herself, then continued.

"He threw me on the ground, and that's when I heard the other two voices. Then they just started beating me…and then…then…they…"

Mary Ann couldn't finish as she started to cry. Alarms rang as her heart rate increased and her Oxygen saturation decreased with the force of her sobs.

"It's OK." Amy was quick to jump in. "Take your time. We can talk about other aspects right now."

Mary Ann shook her head and fought to control her emotions. Soon she could speak clearly, even though the tears continued to fall. "No. I need to tell you." And she finished her story with no more interruption.

"I'm really sorry to make this harder on you than it already is, but we need to talk to you about why we came to New Hampshire to talk to you." Amy said. "Are you up for that."

Mary Ann nodded again, and the investigators marveled at her strength. They almost could forget that she herself was a suspect in a crime, and indeed had already been convicted of one.

"We're here to talk to you about the rape of Fancy Crane."

Mary Ann closed her eyes then and turned away from Amy. "I didn't do it, but I helped the person who did."

"Mary Ann, do you know your rights?" She wasn't under arrest and Peter needed to make sure she was aware of what she was doing.

"Yes. I know I don't have to answer any questions without my attorney present, and that if I can't afford one I'll be appointed one by the state. But I know what I'm doing. After today I have absolutely no doubt he's out to get me. I'll be safer in jail."

"Who's out to get you?" Amy asked.

"Mr. Crane. He's mad at me for leaking those stories about his family to the media."

Amy frowned. This didn't make sense. If Mary Ann was telling the truth and Julian Crane really was punishing her for that, he'd really gone over the top. "Is there anything else he's angry with you about?"

"I don't think so." Mary Ann answered. "At least that was the reason he fired me."

"OK." Amy and Peter were still confused, but were aware of the time constraints and pushed on. "Well, back to Fancy Crane. You say you helped the person who raped her? How so?"

"I was the one that got the sample of Luis's seamen," she said.

"Can you be more specific as to how you actually did that?" Amy asked. She nodded as Mary Ann confirmed what Luis remembered, then asked the next question.

"So you got the sample, then what?"

Mary Ann took a steadying breath, and tears trickled out of her eyes. "I put the sample in a syringe, I gave it to him, and then…I…I watched while he…put…put the sample into Fancy."

Amy tried to stay calm as she asked; "You gave the syringe to '_him_'? To whom are you referring?" The investigators waited, barely daring to breathe.

Mary Ann took a minute to compose herself before answering.

"Christopher Boothe."


	47. Chapter 46

**Rating: R--continued discussion of previous crime plot**

Chapter 46 ~

_Christopher Boothe?! _Amy and Peter looked at each other in shock.

"I'm sorry. Did you say Christopher Boothe? As in the husband of Sheridan Crane?" Amy asked.

Mary Ann nodded. "Yes. That is the man I'm talking about. The whole plan was his."

"Why?" Peter was remembering Theresa's comment about Sheridan still being in love with her brother, and wanted to know if she had been right.

"He said that Luis was in the way. He said that he had to keep him away from Ms. Crane. That he was afraid that Ms. Crane still had feelings for Luis, because she acted so jealously about Luis and Ms. Fancy being together. He was afraid that someday she'd get up the courage and fight to get Luis back. Chris said that he couldn't allow that to happen, so he had to get rid of him."

Amy took the next question. "Why this way? Why did he need to involve Fancy?"

Mary took a few moments to breathe then answered. "He said it was the perfect way to kill two birds with one stone. To get Luis convicted of something so vile would not only insure he'd go to prison, but make Ms. Crane hate him as well. He said that it also allowed him to punish Ms. Fancy for hurting her aunt. He felt it was Ms. Fancy's fault that Ms. Crane was drawn back to Luis, that it was her fault that he was in danger of losing his marriage. He said that this would destroy her life the way she was destroying his."

Only years of training kept the detectives in their professional modes. Never in a million years would they have guessed Chris to be capable of this. Seeing that Amy was getting upset and noticing commotion starting up outside of the room, Peter finished up.

"How did you get brought into all this? What was the arrangement?"

Mary Ann really felt like she was starting to wear out, but tried to stay awake to answer. "I'd been selling Crane secrets to the press for a little while. This particular day, I was at Ms. Crane's cottage to clean, and thought I was alone when I made the call. But I wasn't. Chris was in the other room and overheard me. But instead of getting mad, he understood. He asked me to sit down and he was so kind. He asked why I would hurt innocent people like that? And I was so taken aback by his behavior that my story just poured out. About losing my job and being given all these fines to pay as part of my deal, and how I needed the money. I begged him not to report me. I promised to never do it again if he'd only not turn me in to Mr. Crane. Then he said that he didn't plan to turn me in. In fact, he thought that I might be just the kind of person he was looking for. When I asked what he meant, he told me his plan.

"At first, I was appalled, and refused to do it. But then he said he was pretty sure I would. I didn't want to lose this job too did I? Then he told me how much he would pay me. I couldn't believe it. I said he could never come up with that kind of money. And he said that yes he could. That he had access to more money than I could dream of." Mary Ann coughed slightly, then continued weakly. "I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't turn down the money. So I shook hands and we sealed the deal."

Mary Ann did cough then. Her chest rattled, and her body shook with the effort. Alarms rang again and various medical staff rushed in. One of the nurses turned to Peter.

"I'm sorry, you'll have to leave now. The surgeon is here and we have to get her to the OR immediately."

Mary Ann was whisked away before either investigator could answer.

Amy turned to her partner. "Do you think this is isolated? A coincidence that she happens to get nearly killed in the middle of our investigation?" Skepticism rang through her voice, and Peter answered with conviction in his.

"Not on your life."

* * *

"You finished the job?"

"Yep. She'll learn her lesson."

He handed over the agreed upon amount. "Thank you. Now lose that number. I don't want any trail that can link us together."

"No problem. You're the boss." The slip of paper with his number written on it was torn to tiny shreds and thrown to whatever slight breeze that would carry them away. "Nice doing business with ya."

With those parting words, the men left. He watched as they turned the corner and—he hoped—out of his life for good.

He needed a drink.

He couldn't believe that he had actually been party to something like this. He didn't dare pray to God for mercy. His priest couldn't even help him now. Forget Purgatory. He was sure there was a special place in Hell for people that did things like this.

Yep. He was definitely sure there was.

And he would surely be going.

* * *

"OK. Keep me posted."

"Was that something about Mary Ann?" The Lopez-Fitzgeralds were gathered in Pilar's living room going over the new evidence with him when Ethan received the call.

"Yes. They found her, but she's been badly hurt." Ethan paused, debating how much to share, then opting to disclose everything. "She's been gang raped, is in surgery, and doctor's aren't sure if she's going to make it."

Pilar, ever faithful in her religion, quickly crossed herself as she prayed, various members of her family doing the same.

"Peter says they have enough to fill in the gaps of Luis's story, which is good, but now they're wondering if the two have anything to do with each other." Ethan finished.

"They think her rape is connected to her part in my case?" Luis wanted to be clear.

Ethan nodded. "Peter thinks it is. Until she comes out of surgery and they can talk to her more, they won't know for sure. But right now they're working with the Manchester PD to see what matches. Hopefully they'll get answers and get back here in the next day or so."

"Luis's trial will start before then." Paloma pointed out.

"I know. What I think we should do is take what we have to the DA. Under the circumstances, I think they'd have to file for a continuance so they can review the new evidence. If they don't, I will."

Luis nodded. "Do it." he said, then smiled to himself. Ethan was already on the phone.

* * *

"Hit me again. And this time, leave the bottle."

Two shots of Whiskey and it wasn't enough. It wouldn't be enough until he was passed out, until he couldn't remember what he had done, until he didn't have to face the guilt.

He chuckled. It was ironic. All his life, he was going to break the cycle. He was going to be better, do better. He was not going to be anything like his drunken, abusive, no account father. His father really had been a poor excuse for a man, and he had promised himself he would never be like him. Even when he was doing something that was a little…unscrupulous, he could always say 'well, at least I'm not like my father'. Now here he sat, engaging in the same behavior. Even using his father's drink of choice.

Technically though, he had accomplished his goal. He was nothing like his father. He was worse than him, yes. But at least he wasn't like him. Even on his worst day, his father had never facilitated the rape of a woman.

Third shot down. Then number four.

_This is starting to feel about right._

"_We interrupt this program with breaking news…"_

He could hear the TV somewhere in the background, but ignored it and poured shot number five.

"…_Manchester police are asking for your help in the investigation of a particularly violent crime on the Lower East Side…"_

_If the cops can't solve their own cases, what are they[/i] good for? _he laughed to himself as he prepared to down the burning liquid.

"…_Her name is Mary Ann Smith…" _

Whiskey spewed across the bar and the bartender looked personally offended.

"Hey! Watch it!" But he wasn't paying attention. The effects of the Whiskey temporarily forgotten.

"…_She is said to be in very critical condition at Manchester General Hospital, undergoing surgery as we speak. Doctors will not give us a prognosis other than to say that it is 'touch and go' at this time. She appears to be new to the area, and police are begging anyone with any information to call this number…"_

"No. No, no, no, no! This can not be happening!" He grabbed his keys and started to leave but was stopped by the bartender.

"Hey! You need to pay up!"

"Oh, sorry. Here." He reached into his pocket and threw some bills on the bar, not paying attention to how much he left. Then he ran from the building.

* * *

"So you think our case is related to yours? How?" Detective Lewis was up for anything that gave him a lead, because so far his forensics team didn't have much to tell him.

Peter leaned forward. "OK. Mary Ann already thinks this happened to her because Julian Crane is punishing her for exploiting his family's private life. But this is above and beyond his normal tricks. Raping a woman for blabbing to the tabloids is not fair play."

"Yeah, so?" Detective Lewis wasn't following.

"So…." Peter continued. "When we first started following this theory of the crime, I questioned Mr. Crane, with the idea that he had paid her to do this, and he acted shocked and angry about it. I remember thinking that his behavior didn't fit someone that had conceived that plot to start with. But then Theresa Winthrop said it wouldn't be the first time Julian had been involved in hurting his own family, and we continued investigating with that in mind."

Light dawned on the other detective's face as he listened. "You think that Julian Crane decided to take matters into his own hands don't you?"

"He would certainly consider it most appropriate." Amy added. "Doing to the woman he thinks is responsible exactly what she was supposed to have done to his daughter."

Peter nodded. "There's just one problem. Julian doesn't get his hands dirty. He won't risk getting caught in a compromising situation."

"So how do we find the guys he paid to do this?" Amy asked. Both she and Peter turned to Detective Lewis who did not look hopeful.

"There's a bar that we always go to when we need information. If there's something sketchy going on, it's usually there. I guess we can go there and start asking around." He nodded to two members of his team and they left, immediately understanding what they were to do. "Besides that, let's hope we get some tips from people watching the news, and I'll make a call to my crime lab. See if they have anything yet."

* * *

He walked into the Emergency waiting room at Manchester General and took a seat in the back corner. Picking up a magazine, he tried to look inconspicuous. He could see into a room off to the side that was full of police officers and detectives, and he wondered if any news had come back on Mary Ann. Two detectives nodded as they were given instructions and then left. Where were they going? The man that appeared to be in charge turned away to make a phone call. Who was he calling? Watching as two other detectives, a man and a woman, pulled out notepads to compare notes, he began to panic a little. He didn't know those guys he had hired. How did he know that they hadn't left something to identify them? And how did he know that it couldn't be linked back to him?

He looked back into the room. The first detective had finished his phone call and was talking to the man and woman. Their conversation looked intense and now all three of them were comparing notes. _What were_ they saying? Unable to stand it anymore, he casually walked over to the water fountain that was across from the room but down the hall a little ways. Close enough to get a sense of things, but not close enough to draw attention to himself. He bent to take a drink and tried to listen.

"_So you really think Crane would go that far?"_

He tried not to choke to death.

"_No doubt. He's wealthy and entitled. He was just caught helping his son frame Luis's brother."_

"_Yeah, I remember that. But to order a rape on a woman? I can't believe even a Crane would do something like that…!"_

Just then, a doctor came into the room, and everyone turned their attention to her.

"_Doctor, how is she?"_

"_How soon can we talk to her?"_

There was a pregnant pause, and he strained to hear.

"_I'm sorry but you can't speak with her. She's gone."_


	48. Chapter 47

Chapter 47 ~

"She's gone?" Peter didn't have to look around to know the other occupants of the room were staring at the doctor, as disbelieving as he was.

"Yes. I'm sorry."

He tried not to be infuriated with the woman. She was so calm, adopting the proper demeanor. So quiet and appropriately saddened as she sank their investigation with the removal of Mary Ann's body to the morgue.

"We got in and found her case to be much more involved than we initially anticipated." she elaborated. "They really did a number on her. Broken bones, ruptured spleen, several vital organs damaged, and that's not even considering the injuries that would've been inflicted during the rape. She was bleeding out...basically coded from the trauma and loss of blood."

"So what you're saying is that we now have a homicide on our hands?" It was a rhetorical question on Detective Lewis's part, but the doctor answered anyway.

"I don't deal with the legal jargon. We already called for your ME to come; you'll have to talk to him after he does the final exam to make it official. But, in my professional opinion—off the record—yes. If I had to guess, it would appear that she was in perfect health until today."

* * *

The investigators and police officers stood silently upon the surgeon's exit. Detective Lewis was especially quiet. Without his victim to talk to, his job had just gotten a lot harder. He looked around at his team. They were waiting for his direction.

"OK. So, we're waiting for Malcom to get here to do his preliminary exam in the operating room. Which means we're not leaving here until he does. So let's take it from the top…."

Amy and Peter stepped to a quiet corner of the room, letting the Manchester PD take over. This really wasn't their problem anymore; they had the information to clear Luis. But with Julian Crane a big part of the theory of the crime, it felt like they should be doing something to help.

"I know in my gut that Julian is behind this. I just can't figure out how he's managed to weasel out of it."

Amy knew he was going to obsess about it all the way back to Harmony. Telling him not to waste his time trying to solve another department's case would be a waste of hers, so she didn't even try.

"Come on. We've got a long drive back to Maine. Let's say our good-byes and I'll call Mr. Winthrop from the car.

Peter followed behind his partner, but he didn't really attend to what she had said or what she was doing. Standing slightly apart from the group, he was surprised when an officer approached him instead of one of his own superiors.

"Sir? I'm sorry to bother you, but could you step outside for a minute."

"Yeah, sure." Peter followed the officer out of the room and outside the building. Once there, Peter's attention was directed to a small, unimportant looking man talking on a cell phone and the officer explained why.

"He seemed pretty interested in what was going on in the briefing room. He came over to get a drink from the fountain and just kept hanging around. When the doctor said that that lady was dead, he about died. Then he made phone call, muttering something about 'this wasn't what was supposed to happen'."

"Really?" Peter looked thoughtful, then sly. "Well, since he seems to like spying so much, what do you say we go have a listen?"

* * *

"_If you're calling, I assume it's done?"_

"Yes sir. It's taken care of."

"_Payment has been made?"_

"Yes sir."

"_Good. Now she can live with the same pain she inflicted on my daughter."_

He swallowed hard. "That's not going to be happening…sir."

"_What's not going to be happening?"_ The voice was losing some of its congeniality.

"She isn't going to be dealing with or remembering anything."

"_What are you talking about?"_

"She's…she's dead…sir." He waited for the explosion.

"_She's dead? How? How could you allow that to happen? Murder was not part of the plan!"_

"I couldn't control what they did! I wasn't even there when it happened!"

"_You should've given strict instructions to only hurt her—not kill her!"_

"I did!"

"_Then why is she dead!?"_

"I guess they were a little rougher than they needed to be. These are criminals we're talking about. Maybe they deviated from the plan a little." He heard grumbling on the line and tried to smooth it over.

"I'm sorry sir. But isn't her being dead better than being alive? She can't talk now."

"_No, but you know how police find ways to solve the crimes anyway. This is not over!"_

"Well, then what are we going to do?" he asked timidly.

"_We aren't going to do anything. The arrangement is the same as it's always been. If things don't go according to plan—you're on your own!"_

"But sir…"

_Click._

"It looks like he's done with the call." The officer turned to Peter. "And it kind of sounded like he was talking to someone about the case." When Peter didn't answer, the officer moved toward the man, but Peter held him back.

"Hold on…wait a minute…." The man was apparently rattled about how the call had gone. Looking around to be sure he wasn't being watched, he threw the cell phone away, and started to hurry across the parking lot.

"Now."

Peter's stride quickly ate up the distance and he clapped his hand on the smaller man's shoulder.

"Hi. I saw you talking on the phone over there, and uh…was just wondering who you were talking to?"

The man was obviously shaken by Peter's sudden appearance and direct questioning, but tried to cover. "Hey. Let me go! What are you doing listening in on a private conversation anyway?"

Peter smiled but didn't let go. "Well, you know. I was just walking by, and it kind of sounded like you were talking about a friend of mine that just died. And since I don't know you, I of course am curious."

The man again tried to get away from Peter's grip and brush off his questioning. "Look. I was just talking to a friend of my own, and I don't know anything about yours. I'm really sorry though."

"Uh huh. I don't believe you." Peter turned to the officer standing next to him. "Go get that cell phone out of the trash."

As the officer turned to do as instructed, the man became extremely agitated—almost fearful. "Hey! You can't do that! That's my phone!"

"Call the last number logged." Peter instructed when the officer had retrieved the object in question.

"You can't do that! That's private!" The man was struggling to get the phone back into his possession. He was desperate, and Peter was sure they were on the right track.

"Except you threw it into a public trash can. It's not private anymore."

"If you don't let me go and give me my phone, I'll have your jobs!"

Peter ignored the man and turned back to the officer. "What's the number?"

The officer paused as he listened, then he turned to Peter.

"It's the Crane estate."

"How about that." Peter turned to the man and noticed with satisfaction that the blood had drained out of his face. "I don't know who you are, but you are my new best friend."

* * *

"What? How? OK. OK. See you when you get back to Harmony."

Pilar and her family sat tensely as Ethan hung up the phone. The shock on his face lending a feeling of foreboding to the room. They didn't have to ask if there was something wrong.

"She's gone. Mary Ann is gone."

* * *

"You go and question the admitting staff again, you talk to her coworkers, and you let me know the minute Malcom gets here. There has got to be something we missed."

Detective Lewis was nearing the end of his rope, and Amy was trying to be supportive when Peter came in, the now subdued little man in tow.

"Where have you been?" Amy was testy. "And who's this?"

Peter grinned. "This is our new best friend, isn't that right?" He turned mockingly to his captive who only scowled at him. "We overheard him talking on the phone about a case that sounded a lot like the one we're dealing with now. And he was talking to someone…" he paused for dramatic effect. "…On the Crane Estate. What do you think about that?"

The implied meaning in Peter's statement dawned on both of the other detectives, and Detective Lewis approached with narrowed eyes.

"What's your name?"

The man didn't answer right away, and Detective Lewis started to get angry.

_I asked--what is your name?"_

Realizing that there was no way out, the man's shoulders slumped in defeat and he answered quietly.

"My name is Stuart Allen."


	49. Chapter 48

Chapter 48 ~

"_Hey. Did you hear about that case in New Hampshire? That lady that died? They think Mr. Crane hired a hit on her!"_

"_Really? Why do they think that?"_

"_Apparently the guy that was in charge had ties to Crane Industries and he says Mr. Crane ordered it."_

"_Of course Mr. Crane is denying it."_

"_What else is he going to do?"_

Chris listened to the water cooler chatter and tried to keep a low profile. It had been all over the news about Mary Ann and what had happened to her. The whole business made him nervous. The stories had been all about the rape and the theory of that crime; no mention of her connection to him or Fancy and Luis had been made. But he had seen two of the PI's Ethan had hired during the segment. He could only guess they were down there for one thing. He hoped that Mary Ann's death had transpired before they had gotten what they had gone for, and nothing in either investigation pointed back to him.

At least they'd stopped asking about the Cayman account. But that didn't provide much relief. If they really hadn't been able to find what they were looking for, Mary Ann's death would make them even more intent on finding out who was tapping that account. He would have to think of something to put them off that track. For now though, he had to act as normal as possible.

Easier said than done. Maybe he should take a break. Get a cup of coffee, regroup. As Chris stood up to do just that, he felt the air leave his lungs.

Walking into the accounting office was Detective Williams and his partner. And by the direct eye contact immediately made, Chris knew they were headed right for him. Something about the glint in the other man's eye made Chris wonder if his number had been called.

_Stay calm! Don't let them know that they have you rattled._

"Hello, Detective. Is there something I can do for you?" he asked as soon as they reached his desk.

Peter nodded. "Yes actually. You can turn around and put your hands behind your back."

"I'm sorry, what?" Chris tried to act affronted.

"Please turn around and put your hands behind your back." Peter repeated. Amy stepped forward. The handcuffs were blindingly bright to Chris's eyes.

"Christopher Boothe, you are under arrest for grand theft, conspiracy to commit rape, the rape of Fancy Crane and rape facilitation of Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you can not afford one…"

Chris was paraded out of the office to the shocked and horrified stares of his coworkers, but he didn't really notice.

_Game over. You blew it buddy. Mr. Crane is going to kill you and Sheridan is never going to forgive this._

* * *

"Luis!" Sheridan rushed to throw her arms around him when walked into the front room at his mother's house.

"Thanks for coming so fast. We need to talk."

"You said that when you called." Sheridan stood uncomfortably. She had heard that his trial was on hold and would probably be dropped pending review of new evidence. It had been all over the news the last few days. But other than a brief phone call when the news had first been broken they hadn't talked at all. This was not how she had pictured things going when they finally did.

"Um. Here. Sit down." Luis motioned to the couch and sat in the chair to the side. "You know that the charges against me are being dropped as we speak."

Sheridan's eye's lit up. "It's official? Luis that's wonderful!" She sat forward and reached the distance to hold Luis's hand, and was again unnerved as he pulled his hand away before she could reach it. "Luis, what's wrong?"

He cleared his throat. "Well, if they're dropping the charges against me, it's because they have another suspect in mind. You realize that don't you?"

She nodded.

"In fact, I was told that this individual is being arrested this morning. I'll be filing formal charges this afternoon. Fancy will be too."

"Really? She didn't tell me." Sheridan was confused.

"I asked her not to. She was so angry I was afraid she would say or do something she would regret later."

"Why would her talking to me about her rapist make her angry?"

"Because it was Chris."

Sheridan went slack jawed and her eyes widened in disbelief. "Chris? No! I know that Fancy isn't really his cup of tea, but he'd never hurt her!"

Luis shook his head. "Oh he did. But this wasn't as much about Fancy as it was about me."

"What could he possibly have against you? You've never done anything to him."

"Except steal your affection." Luis answered softly. "Chris did this to get me convicted and sent to prison so I'd be out of your life because he thinks you're still in love with me."

"Of course I love you! We've been through so much together, and we've been friends for years…"

"Sheridan." Luis interrupted her. "Tell the truth. It's time we got everything out in the open."

"I am telling the truth!" Sheridan's eyes filled with tears, and she turned away from him, still trying to deny it all.

Luis shook his head. "No Sheridan. I don't think you are. And my mistake was taking you at your word all this time. I should've put distance between us a long time ago."

"You don't mean that! Luis! We're friends. And we shared and lost a child. We'll always be a part of each other's lives." Sheridan knew her voice was starting to sound shrill, but she didn't like what Luis was implying.

"Yeah we did share a life—lives even—once upon a time. But in this life, we aren't together. And we can't be. And it only has a little to do with Chris anymore. Since you decided to stay with him, I was forced to move on. I fell for Fancy, and you gave us your blessing."

Sheridan sniffed. "I thought I could be OK with it. But it was so hard you know. I wanted to be committed to my marriage, but I guess I hated that you could actually be happy with someone else."

"Yeah. I do know. It's how I felt when you married Chris. But I understand how that happens, and I believe you can love more than one person in your lifetime. It might not be the same, but it's still good. That's what I have with Fancy. It's not going away anytime soon."

Sheridan was openly crying now.

"I should've faced how you were acting and known that if it was obvious to me, Chris could see it too. As mad as I am at him right now, I know that's hard on a guy. To have the woman he loves want someone else."

"Are you saying that you don't want to be friends anymore?" Sheridan was afraid to ask.

"We'll always be friends. You're right. We've been through too much together not to be. But I think we need to make sure that the line is definite. We need to do a better job of being only friends. That means we don't spend time alone together, we don't lean on each other exclusively for things. Just friends like we're friends with Ethan or with Sam, or with the Russells. Because for right now, that's all we're going to be."

"Luis please. I don't know if that's enough for me." Sheridan left the couch to put her arms around his neck.

Luis hugged her briefly before he put her gently but firmly away from him. "I'm sorry, but it will have to be. Fancy and I have a lot of work to do to get past this, but we plan to do it together. And hopefully after that we will be back to normal. I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize that. I hope you understand."

Still sitting at his knee, Sheridan understood. And her heart broke.

* * *

Luis sat beside Fancy, Ethan and one of the Crane lawyers behind them, as Chris was led into the room. His earlier compassion for the man while talking to Sheridan evaporated. He couldn't believe this part was finally over. During his questioning, Chris had heard Mary Ann's taped confession and had lawyered up. Luis was a free man.

But the rest had just begun. He still had to testify against Chris. The whole world would have to know that he was raped too. How was he supposed to deal with that? Fancy said she'd help him, but right now even that wasn't a comfort. It was true what they said. Rape effected every part of one's life. He wasn't sure he'd be able to get through it.

Silence reigned around the table. Chris couldn't look at Luis or Fancy and they were too angry to know what to say. Chris's lawyer apparently had an idea.

"So. My client and I have seen your evidence, what are you offering?"

Ethan looked at Luis who shook his head "no". He was embarrassed and testifying would be mortifying, but he would see it through. Chris wasn't going to get a free pass from him.

"My client and I aren't interested in any deal. We're instructing the DA we want to go to trial."

"My client as well." Fancy's lawyer spoke up.

"Chris. We were friends. You married my aunt. How could you?" Fancy finally asked

Chris didn't answer.

"Don't you have anything to say for yourself? Ethan followed.

Chris stood without answering, and called for the guard.

Then he was gone. A lone tear on the table where he'd sat the only thing he left behind.

* * *

"_We're live outside the Harmony courthouse where the arraignment of Christopher Boothe has just taken place. The grand jury has determined that there is enough evidence to charge him with multiple crimes, but the ones of most interest—the rape of Fancy Crane and the rape facilitation of Officer Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald. With the new charges filed against Mr. Boothe, the old ones against Mr. Lopez-Fitzgerald are being vacated, and it is official that he will be reinstated as a member of Harmony PD as soon as possible._

_In a related new item, it has been determined—in a controversial verdict by the grand jury--that this did not in fact lead to the death of Mr. Boothe's accomplice, Mary Ann Smith. In fact, only one man had been charged with her death, a Mr. Stuart Allen, even though he insists that he only hired the men responsible as ordered by Mr. Julian Crane. A rep for the Crane family categorically denies the allegations, and describes Mr. Allen as 'a disgruntled ex-Crane employee with a vendetta against the family'. It is a story that we will of course be following in the weeks and months to come. Again, live from Harmony Courthouse…."_

Pilar turned the TV off. "Thank God this is over." She turned to her family that was gathered in the living room. "My sons are free!"

A cheer went up at that and the celebration began.

"Mama, you went all out!" Theresa laughed, surveying the buffet Pilar had set. All of Luis's and Miguel's favorite Mexican dishes were available in plenty, colorful in array. Several different kinds of meat were on the grill, under the watchful eye of Martin. Ethan was blending Margarita's for the adults and virgin ones for the kids, which were going fast in the hot weather. There weren't any decorations around the house, but the chatter and laughter of family and friends with music in the background was atmosphere enough.

Pilar laughed too. "I couldn't help myself. Your brothers, this whole family has been under a cloud too long. I wanted to give them everything they love to celebrate."

Theresa hugged her mother and no words were needed. They did indeed deserve to celebrate. And this was the perfect way to do it.

"So what can I get for you?" Martin looked up to see his oldest daughter standing next to him with a plate.

"That barbecued pork looks good."

"You got it." Martin took her plate and served up a portion of the meat, while looking sideways at Theresa.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine." She wasn't looking at him.

"And the baby?"

"The baby's fine." She took the plate when he had finished. "Thanks."

"Theresa?" Martin stopped her as she turned to walk away. "With your brother's lives back to normal, I was hoping you and I could spend some time together. I know I have a lot to make up for, but I'd like to try if you'd let me."

Theresa faced him then, her whole countenance void of emotion. "I was hoping we wouldn't have to do this today. Don't get the situation wrong Dad. Just because I'm not running from you doesn't mean I've forgiven or forgotten what you did. I'm willing to let the kids spend time with you, but that's it. Nothing else has changed between the two of us."

Martin's face fell, but she refused to let herself be moved.

Even though everything inside of her cried to her to do so.

* * *

Later that night, Theresa lay in bed unable to sleep. She thought back on the last six months and couldn't believe how much they'd been through already. She remembered the feeling of doom that had accompanied the news of her brother's arrests and how she had felt it on and off ever since. But now they were free. She and Ethan were still running Crane Industries, and they had a new baby on the way. Things were looking up. There wasn't a reason to feel doom anymore. With that thought in mind, she finally fell asleep.

It was somewhere near midnight when the first pain hit…


	50. Chapter 49

Chapter 49 ~

_12:00._

The bedside clock glowed in glaring red as Theresa curled into a ball on her side. The pain—it was so intense it took her breath away. She didn't even dare to think what could be happening. She just concentrated on getting through the contraction. After about thirty seconds, it started to release, and she could breath normally, but Theresa didn't relax. She counted and waited, watching the clock with baited breath.

_12:05_

_12:10_

Maybe it was a fluke thing.

_12:15_

Another contraction racked her body, drawing a low moan from throat. Ethan stirred, opening his eyes. She clutched her belly, and tried to breathe. Was it just her imagination, or was this one stronger than the first?

_2: 25_

When the third one hit, she knew she was in trouble, and Ethan knew it too. He watched her writhe in pain, and was already reaching for the phone when she was finally able to speak.

"Ethan—the baby! It's coming!"

* * *

"Eve! You have to do something! It's too soon!" Ethan was frantic as soon as he saw the doctor in the ER.

Eve followed the paramedics into the waiting cubicle in time to witness Theresa having yet another contraction. She quickly donned gloves in preparation for an exam while firing questions at whoever could answer.

"How far apart are they?"

"When did they start?"

"Has she been in this much pain the whole time?"

"Theresa can you hear me?"

Theresa nodded as the contraction subsided and was able to answer in a fearful voice. "They started about midnight, have been coming closer and closer together, and lasting longer each time." There were tears in her eyes and she clutched Ethan's hand. "Please. Tell me we can stop this. It's too soon!"

Eve finished her internal exam and shook her head. "Theresa, you're already dilated to a seven, you're almost 100 percent effaced…and your water just broke. I'm sorry, but your baby is coming tonight."

The tears flowed from Theresa's eyes and Ethan clung to her in panic. This could not be happening! She was only six months along. Could their child live in the outside world already? He didn't think so, but he had to hope. To do anything else, to even think that their child might not survive--well he just couldn't think that way. Panic threatened to overcome him as another contraction took over his wife's body. Even he could see Eve was right; there was no stopping the labor at this point.

"Prepare for delivery in cubicle eight! And get Flight for Life on the phone! We're going to need them here ASAP if this baby comes as fast as I think!"

Overhearing Eve's order, Ethan began to pray.

* * *

"OK, Theresa. You're fully dilated now. Are you ready to push?" Eve looked up from her exam.

"I've been ready, but I've been trying not to." Theresa was still crying. "This is really happening isn't it? I'm having my baby tonight and there's no way to stop it?"

Eve looked at her with sorrowful eyes. "Yes sweetie. You are having this baby tonight…" she was interrupted as Theresa braced herself for another contraction, and the process of delivering a child began.

Theresa couldn't stop crying. She knew that her body was just doing what it was supposed to do, but she couldn't help but wish that it would stop. She knew it was way too soon for her child to be making an entrance into the world, but it couldn't be helped.

"Good Theresa. I can see the head. Just a few more pushes and you should meet the newest member of your family."

She wished Eve wouldn't try to put her at ease. This wasn't the way it was supposed to be. They were supposed to be welcoming their child with joy and much anticipation. Not with fear, panic, and a hope that everything would be fine. She didn't know if she could do this. She was so tired already. She wasn't sure she had the strength. She didn't think she had any place left to pull from. Not even Ethan's supportive words, his whispers of love, gave her strength.

"Come on Theresa. You can do this." Eve encouraged.

"Whatever happens, we're going to get through it. You hear me? I'm going to be right here the whole time." Ethan had his right arm around her, propping her forward from behind, and was holding her left hand with his own. He gently kissed her cheek, and Theresa closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and pushed with all her might.

For a moment, all she felt was relief that the excruciating pain was over, and Theresa took a second to relax against Ethan's chest. But then she realized she didn't hear a baby crying, and the staff was hurrying around the little cubicle while Eve barked orders.

"_I need an ambu bag over here! Right now!"_

"_Get an IV—he needs IV access!"_

"_Where is that helicopter? We need them here right now! We're not going to last long without ventilation…"_

In all of the hubbub, Theresa perked up at the sound of one word…

"…_he…"_

"Ethan? Is it a boy?" she asked. Tears were sliding down Ethan's face now, but he was true to his word. He had not left her side. "Ethan. Tell me!"

"Yes. We have another son." His eyes never left the table were Eve was working on their newborn child.

"It's not good is it?" Theresa didn't even have to ask. The tears and the fear on her husband's face told her the truth.

He shook his head and wept harder. "I think he's fighting for his life, Baby."

Finally overcome, husband and wife clung to each other and gave into their fear.

* * *

"No! You can't take my son without me!" Theresa was nearly hysterical as the Flight for Life crew prepared to take her yet unnamed son to Maine Medical Center's NICU in Portland. The trouble had started when they said that they only had room for the baby; neither Ethan nor Theresa could fly with them.

"Theresa, I don't have to tell you that it is of utmost importance that your son get to the NICU right away. You're not stable enough to go yet, even by ambulance. And these helicopters simply don't have room for extra people." Eve tried to reason with her patient, but should've known it was futile.

"I can't let my baby fly by himself. He needs his mother with him! You find a way to get me in that helicopter!"

The pilot shook his head. "I'm sorry ma'am. I really am. But with the ventilator, and monitoring and emergency equipment, we only have room for the crew." His shoulders dropped slightly at Theresa's tears. He couldn't imagine how horrible it must be to let your sick child leave your site in the hands of strangers. "We'll take the best care of him we possibly can. I promise. And as soon as they let you, you'll be right up there with him."

Theresa suddenly turned to Ethan, tears still pouring down her cheeks. "You go. Follow in the car. At least one of us will be with our son as soon as possible. I'll get Mama or Luis to bring me as soon as they let me go."

"Are you sure?" Ethan was obviously torn, feeling both the baby and Theresa needed him right now.

"Yes." Theresa was firm. "One of us has to be with him."

Ethan nodded, then bent to kiss her. "OK. I'll have Eve call your mom, and I'll see you as soon as you can get there. I love you."

Theresa hugged him then pushed him toward the door. "I love you too Ethan. Go. Take care of our baby!"

* * *

Ethan was pacing the halls outside of the NICU when Pilar pushed Theresa in a wheelchair around the corner.

"Ethan!"

"Oh, Honey! You're here." Ethan held her tightly in his arms. He wasn't sure how he had been making it without her. He had gotten to the hospital not long after the helicopter, and upon reaching the NICU was told that the doctor was with his son, and would be out to talk to him as soon as possible, but that was it. It was becoming a nerve-wracking wait.

"Any word yet?" Pilar asked.

Ethan shook his head. "Nobody knows anything, except the doctor is with him." He turned to Theresa then. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. All I care about is our son."

"Mr. and Mrs. Winthrop?"

A young man in light blue scrubs suddenly appeared, looking grave, and they assumed he was the doctor.

"Yes. That's us." Ethan said. "How is our son?" Theresa couldn't speak. She just looked at the doctor with pleading eyes.

"I'm Dr. Malloy. Why don't we have a seat in the waiting room." When everyone had found a chair he continued.

"I'm not going to beat around the bush. This is really serious."

Ethan and Theresa looked at each other fearfully. "How serious?" Ethan asked.

"Your son is dangerously premature. There are certain characteristics that let us know that he is indeed six months gestation, but he is small, more like five months. Combine his small size with the fact that his lungs are not equipped to function on their own at this gestational age…let's just say he's got two strikes against him already."

"Dear God." Pilar crossed herself in prayer and tears filled her eyes.

"But he's going to live right? You can make him better." Theresa finally spoke, then became more forceful when Dr. Malloy didn't say anything.

"Tell me you're going to save our son! Tell me! Tell me, I said!"

"I can't!" Dr. Malloy answered.

"No!" Theresa buried her head in Ethan's shoulder.

Ethan wanted the cards up front on the table. "What exactly are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I will do everything in my power, but I don't know if I can save your baby."


	51. Chapter 50

Chapter 50 ~

"No…no…no! This can not be happening." Theresa still had her head buried in Ethan's shoulder, her tears making his shirt wet.

"You don't know if you can save our baby? What does that mean exactly? What kind of chances are we talking here? I mean—does he have a fighting chance? Do we prepare for the worst? What are we dealing with?" Ethan demanded.

Dr. Malloy looked thoughtful. "I can't really give you an answer."

"What? Why not?! Theresa snapped. "You're the doctor! You're supposed to have all the answers!"

"Believe me. This is the part of my job I don't like." The doctor seemed unfazed by Theresa's outburst. "I can only advise you based on my best medical knowledge. And that knowledge tells me that there are too many variables here for me to give you a 'straight answer' if you will.

"At six months gestation, your son is not ready to live in this world on his own. You know that. His lungs are immature—underdeveloped. We won't be able to even think of his maybe beginning to breathe on his own for at least two more weeks, and then we'll have to be very careful. Breathing on his own will require a lot of work on his part and he will tire out if we try to get rid of the ventilator too soon.

"Also, his immune system is not fully developed either. At his age, he only has produced a few agents needed for a functioning system, and he no longer has any of the agents that are passed on through you, Mrs. Winthrop. He'll be much more susceptible to infection right now. In fact, that will be one of the main things that can mean the difference between..."

"Our son's life or death?" Ethan finished.

Dr. Malloy nodded. "Those are the two main things. We still don't know how he'll respond to his new environment. Some babies can handle it fine, others can't deal with the stimulation of the world, and need a perfectly quiet, dark, and strictly controlled environment. And we don't have any idea how much his small birth weight will factor in. I think it will make this more challenging, but we just won't know."

"Stop. Stop! I can't take this anymore." Theresa's heart was breaking thinking of her son's suffering, and Ethan was silent.

Dr. Malloy looked at them with empathy. "Look. I just want you to know all the facts and be as prepared as possible for what's upcoming. But parts of my job I love most are some of the miracles I see. Sometimes there are children that leave here and we never expected it to be possible. I don't know if that will be the case with your son. But I do know that if we are going to save him, this is about the youngest he could be. So don't give up hope. It's only the first night. A lot of good can still happen."

"I need to see him." Theresa suddenly seemed to gain some control over her emotions. "I need to see him right now."

"Of course. Right this way."

* * *

"He's so small." Gloved and gowned, Theresa and Ethan were standing beside the incubator that would serve as their son's bed for the next several weeks, probably months. Besides the ventilator, he was hooked up to IV solutions, monitors; there didn't seem to be a part of his little body that wasn't connected to something—even his head.

Ethan turned to the nurse standing with them. "Can we touch him?"

"Sure." the nurse answered. You can reach your hand in through one of the holes on the side. But be sure to touch lightly and softly. You may even have to go one at a time. We figured out during his admission that he can't handle excessive amounts of stimulation at one time. You can talk to him too. At this age he can hear things."

Ethan and Theresa nodded, then turned to each other.

"You go first." he said to her.

Theresa shook her head. "No. You. I've been feeling him inside me for six months. You go first."

Swallowing hard, he nodded his thanks, and slowly reached his gloved hand into the incubator.

"Hey, Champ! It's me—Daddy." Tears clogged his throat, and for a moment all he could do was stroke his son's tiny hand with his index finger. "You sure where in a hurry to get here. I guess you were just too excited to be out here with the rest of us, seeing what all the fuss was about."

Theresa chuckled tearfully, and listened as her husband continued.

"We might have to work on that impatient thing you got going on when you get older." he said with a chuckle of his own. "But I'm so happy you're here—even if it is a little early. Don't plan on going anywhere, you hear me? The only place you're going is home. Home with me, and Mommy, and Bud, and Jane, and Lily, and all the other family that can't wait to see you."

It was Theresa's turn now. She wanted to hold him in the worst way, but since that was impossible, she tried to make do with the next best thing. Reaching in, she placed her hand on his stomach, and felt her heart clench at how tiny he was. Basically, the whole trunk of his little body fit in the palm of her hand. She rubbed his tummy gently while she tried to think of everything that she wanted to say.

"Hey there Little Guy. It's Mommy. And I want you to listen to your daddy, OK? You're not allowed to go anywhere but home with us, so don't even think about doing anything else. We love you very much."

"Do you have a name picked out yet?" the nurse asked pleasantly. She was attaching the small card that said "Baby Boy Winthrop" to the side of the bed.

"A name! Ethan we didn't even think of a name!" Theresa was horrified, and Ethan tried to reassure her.

"Well you know, we thought we'd have more time. And we were kind of busy with the trial and stuff."

"I guess." Theresa was only mildly pacified. "Any ideas?"

Ethan looked thoughtfully at their son. "We've always given our kids names that meant something to us, or that were appropriate to the occasion. I think we definitely should take the time to do the same with him."

Theresa agreed. "I'll have Mama go and buy a baby name book. I can't wait for someone to bring ours from home."

"Oh. You don't have to do that." the nurse interrupted. "We have a lot of parents in your same predicament, so we keep a couple books here. I also can recommend a few websites for you to look at. You can use the computer in the family lounge."

* * *

"_Are you coming up to see them?"_

Martin had a moment of indecision, but stood firm to his resolve. "No, I don't think so. Theresa wouldn't be happy to see me, and I don't want to make this more stressful than it already is for her."

"_I think Theresa needs her family around her now. Her whole family."_

Martin appreciated Pilar's emphasis on the word 'whole', but still declined. "No. I think I'll see if Mrs. Patterson will let the kids spend today with me, give them something to do to keep their minds off things. I think I'll be of more help if I just stay away."

"Well. If you're sure."

"I am. Tell them that I love them though. Please?"

Pilar sniffed on the other end of the line. _"I will. We'll keep you updated too."_

Pilar walked back into the family lounge outside of the NICU and found her daughter and son-in-law staring at the computer screen. Walking over, she placed a hand on each of their backs.

"What are you doing? You've already seen him?"

"Yes, we've seen him. And his name is Joshua." Theresa answered.

"Joshua?" Pilar asked, and Ethan nodded.

"Joshua Gabriel. 'He who God protects'."

"Joshua Gabriel." Pilar tried the name on her tongue. "I love it. How is he?" Her grandmother's concern resurfacing.

Ethan filled her in on everything, and then Theresa wondered where she had been.

"I was talking to your papa`. I knew he would be worried."

"Is he coming up here?" Theresa asked.

Pilar shook her head. "No. Don't worry. He knew you wouldn't want him here, and he doesn't want to make this more stressful for you than it already is."

Theresa dipped her head. Then she looked back at her mother with clear eyes. "Call him back. I want to talk to him."

"Mija?" Pilar was surprised, as was Ethan.

"Call him." Theresa said again. "I want to talk to him."

Pilar quickly pulled out her cell phone and dialed the number. "It's ringing." she said and handed the phone to her daughter.

"Hello?"

"_Papa`? It's Theresa."_

Martin's heart threatened to burst out of his chest. "Hey Theresa. How are you doing?"

"_Fine physically. Everything else is kind of hard."_

"I can't even begin to imagine. I'm praying for all of you." Martin said.

"_Thanks."_

The conversation stalled after that, and Martin wasn't sure how to fill the pause. Before he could try, Theresa spoke again.

"_Mama said that you weren't coming up here because you thought it would be too stressful for me."_

Martin swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yes. I heard you loud and clear the last time we talked."

"_I want you to come."_

"What?" Martin was sure he had heard wrong.

"_I want you to feel free to come. I told you I wouldn't keep the kids from you, and that includes Joshua now. So I won't be upset if you come to see him."_

"I'd love to see him. But only if you're sure this is what you want." Martin couldn't believe how calm he sounded.

"_It is. Come anytime."_

The conversation ended then, and Martin felt the tears forming in his eyes. His baby girl wanted him to come and meet her son! He tried not to hold to any illusions that this magically fixed everything between them, but he prayed that it was a start.


	52. Chapter 51

Chapter 51 ~

"Mija? Theresa?" Pilar was standing over her sleeping daughter, with the muffin and cup of coffee she had requested not ten minutes ago. Now Theresa lay sound asleep in the recliner in the family lounge. Shaking her head motherly, Pilar reached for one of the blankets the staff had graciously let them use, and covered Theresa up.

For the last few days, Ethan and Theresa had haunted the halls between the lounge and the NICU, and at least one of them was always with Josh (as his name had been shortened to already). There was a hotel of sorts associated with the hospital that was available for out of town family of patients that would be hospitalized long term, but except to shower and change clothes, the couple hadn't been to their rooms. On one hand, Pilar fully understood their need to be close to their son, and couldn't imagine herself doing anything else had it been one of her children that was critically ill. But on the other hand, she couldn't help but wish that they both would take more breaks. Actually go and get a decent amount of rest instead of cat napping in the lounge. They both were so tired they were ready to drop.

At least they would be taking a little break today when the kids came. Ethan and Theresa were still discussing if the kids should be allowed to see their baby brother in such a serious condition. They worried that the girls especially would be frightened by all the medical equipment and tubes and wires, but it was decided that they should at least be brought up to see their parents. They hadn't seen them since Joshua had been born, and in fact had awakened that particular morning to both parents being gone.

Pilar took a seat herself and reached for a magazine. She hadn't been reading long when Martin showed up with Mrs. Patterson and the kids.

"Abuela!" the kids exclaimed before Pilar could quiet them. But it didn't matter. Theresa was sleeping so soundly she probably wouldn't have heard a tow truck drive through the building.

"We need to talk quietly, OK? Your mom is very tired, so we should let her sleep for awhile." The kids were gathered around their mom's chair, but did as they were told and didn't speak.

"So? How are things?" Martin asked and he and Mrs. Patterson found seats around the room as well.

Pilar sighed. "The same." Her voice was resigned. "But at least they aren't worse."

"Is Ethan with him now?" Mrs. Patterson asked then, and Pilar nodded.

"One of them is always with him."

The next few minutes were spent in quiet conversation, and then Theresa started to stir. Lily was in her lap before Theresa was even fully awake.

"Hi Mommy!"

"Hey Baby!" Theresa murmured sleepily as she returned Lily's hug. Soon, Bud and Jane were coming over for hugs of their own. "Daddy and I have missed you all so much."

"We miss you too." Jane said, and Bud agreed.

"Yeah. Cory and I can't play ball like when Dad plays with us. Nobody can bat; we just throw the ball back and forth. That's kind of boring. Uncle Noah played with us and it was nice, but not the same."

Theresa laughed. "Did you bring your ball and glove with you?"

Bud shook his head to the negative. "I didn't know if we'd be allowed to play here."

"Well, no. Not here at the hospital, but there's probably a park around here somewhere where you could." Theresa looked thoughtful. "Maybe we should look for one when we're out for lunch, huh? Then the next time you come, you can bring your gloves."

"Yeah!" Bud was very happy about that idea.

"Mommy, I brought Cinderella." Jane piped up.

"Cinerella." Lily clapped her hands.

"We haven't read that one together in a long time, have we?" Theresa said.

"No. Can we read it today?" Jane asked.

"I don't see why not." Theresa answered, and Jane smiled.

"Where's Dad?" Bud asked. "Is he with Josh?"

"Your Abuela went to let him know you're here now." Martin added after Theresa had nodded 'yes'.

Jane suddenly looked troubled.

"Jane? What's wrong?" Theresa asked.

"Are we going to see Josh today?"

Theresa paused, thinking back to her and Ethan's discussion of this very thing…

"_I don't know, Honey. There's a lot of strange stuff in the room that might be scary for kids." Ethan said._

"_I know. But I think Bud especially is old enough to understand what is going on, and we'll just explain to the girls that their baby brother is really sick right now and that everything they see is to help make him better." _

_Ethan still looked unconvinced. "True. Are we sure they're ready to see him like this though? Maybe we can wait until some of the equipment and things can be taken off."_

_Theresa had shaken her head. "When will that be? We have no idea. I just think that maybe they should be allowed to see him…in case…" she had trailed off then, and Ethan had immediately gone on the defensive._

"_In case what? In case what, Theresa?"_

"_You know what."_

"_In case he dies, you mean? Theresa, he's not going to die."_

"_How do you know? The doctor won't even make that promise."_

"_He's not going to die because after all the pain we've been through in our lives, God just wouldn't let that happen." Ethan sounded sure._

"_How do you know that? God let this happen."_

"_But He will not take our son. He won't do that." He was very adamant._

"_Why? Because we don't want Him to? Ethan, we didn't want this either. But we have it. And the truth is…Josh could die."_

"_No. He won't! Where is this coming from? You're the one that always believes in miracles, and fate, and destiny, and faith. You always were the one saying that if you just believed hard enough you could make anything happen. Why aren't you saying that now?"_

_Theresa's eyes had filled with tears. "I don't know."_

"_Yes! You do!" Ethan always knew her better than she knew herself._

"_I can't explain it." Theresa answered as the tears started to fall._

"_Well try!" Ethan demanded. "I can't get through this if you don't believe with me…"_

"Mom?" Bud's voice broke through her memory. "Are we?"

"I don't know." Theresa answered. "Your dad and I've been talking about that. You know there's a lot of equipment and tubes and things that are hooked up to your brother that will be strange for you to look at. We're not sure if you're ready to see him like that. What do you think?"

"I want to see him." Bud's answer was firm.

"Me too." Jane said. "Don't you think Josh should know we came to see him?"

Everyone in the room looked at each other, and Theresa's eyes met Ethan's. She wasn't sure when he had come in, but was fairly sure that he had heard most of the conversation. After an unspoken agreement, Ethan came over and put his arms around his two oldest children.

"If that's what you think, I think we should go see your brother."

* * *

"He's really small." Jane's words echoed her mother's from the first time she'd seen him as well.

"Yeah. Looking at Mom's stomach, I thought he'd be bigger too." Bud answered. He never took his eyes off his little brother, so he didn't see the good-natured eye roll the woman in question gave him, or notice his father's slight cough to cover his laugh.

High above the bed in her father's arms, Lily didn't look scared, just curious. "Is Dosh going to be good?" she asked in childish simplicity, and her pronunciation of her brother's name brought a smile to her parents' lips.

"Well, the doctors and nurses are working very hard to make Josh better." Ethan put emphasis on the letter 'J'. "Can you say Josh?" He again put the emphasis on the correct sound and waited for his young daughter to do the same.

"Dosh." Lily repeated looking seriously into Ethan's face.

"No Lily." Bud piped up. "Josh. Just like Jane. Jane. Josh."

"Jane…Dosh." Lily tried again.

Bud shook his head. "I don't get it. She can say 'Jane'. Why can't she say 'Josh'?"

Theresa was still laughing. "It's OK. She'll get it eventually."

"Can we touch him?" Jane asked.

"Umm. I don't know that that's such a good idea." Theresa answered. "You can talk to him quietly though. He can hear you."

Jane moved a little closer and toward the head of the incubator, careful not to touch anything. "What do we say?"

"Just tell him who you are, and that you love him very much, and that you want him to get better so he can come home with us. That kind of thing." Ethan said.

Jane nodded. "Hi Josh. I'm your big sister, Jane." She paused for minute, her brow furrowed in thought. "We really want you to get better soon." She didn't know what else to say, so Bud took a turn.

"Yeah. You got to get better so you can come home. And me and Dad can teach you how to play ball, and we can play in the pool. And you have to taste Mrs. Patterson's french fries. They are the best!" Bud paused now too. "I don't know what else to say."

"That's OK." Theresa rubbed his back. "He know you're here."

Lily started getting wiggly, and Ethan decided that it was time to cut the visit short. "OK guys. I think it's time to say goodbye to Josh."

"Bye Josh." Bud said.

"Love you." Jane replied next.

"Bye Dosh." Lily never wanted to be left out.

Theresa's heart was high in her throat as the rest of her family turned toward the door. She couldn't leave just yet. She always felt like if she turned her back for even one second he'd slip away before she could turn back, and her heart couldn't take that thought.

"Mom? Are you coming."

Bud again broke through her thoughts.

"Yeah honey. I'll be right there." Theresa smiled at her son, and then turned back to Josh.

"Bye my precious baby boy. Mommy loves you very much. I'll be back later—I promise. So don't go anywhere."

As Theresa caught up with the rest of her family, she prayed that the day would come when she could say those things as she held him in her arms and kissed his little head in the nursery at home.


	53. Chapter 52

Chapter 52 ~

"I'll be frank. Josh has had somewhat a difficult time the last few weeks."

Ethan and Theresa only nodded at Dr. Malloy's opening statement. They were well aware of everything Josh had been through in the last six weeks. For awhile, it looked like everything would be fine. He put on weight, he was able to handle more and more stimuli from the outside environment, his vital signs had always been stable and strong. He even showed signs that the surfactant treatments that had been started to facilitate the process of lung development and his ability to breathe on his own were working. He'd steadily been "breathing over" the ventilator (meaning he was breathing more times in a minute than the number of breaths the ventilator was set to give him) for two weeks, and they had been ready to extubate.

But he had suddenly spiked a temperature of nearly 104 degrees, it was found that he had a systemic blood infection, and he had been on antibiotics for the last three weeks. During that time, the infection wreaked havoc on his little body, and his respiratory status declined again. In fact, at one point the ventilator was again breathing for him one hundred percent of the time. Thankfully, he seemed to take a turn for the better. The blood tests showed the infection was gone, though he would stay on antibiotics for a few more days as a precaution. His vital signs had again stabilized, and he was again beginning to breathe over the ventilator.

For some reason though, Theresa could not take comfort. She still carried with her a feeling of unease, a feeling of dread. The vision of her barely holding on as her life sank beneath her had come back in full force. Ethan thought she was borrowing trouble. He found hope in the smallest things, in even one breath their son breathed on his own. He lived blissfully in the belief that Josh would be leaving with them for home in a few weeks, and couldn't fathom why Theresa couldn't. It was something they argued about constantly…

"_Babe. I don't get you. I always thought you'd be the one carrying me! Giving me the undying hope. Reminding me that you believed in us when no one else did, and you turned out to been right. And that you'd be right about this too. That fate meant for us to be happy, so nothing bad could happen. Where is that eternal optimism that I love about you so much?"_

"… '_So nothing bad could happen'? Ethan look around! Something bad has already happened. And I talked about fate when I was a child! When the only bad thing to happen to me really was the time Matt Olsen chased me around the playground and told all the other boys I had cooties in the third grade. Even fighting for you was more of a romantic fairly tale adventure than a problem. This is real life. And our son is really fighting for his. And he really could lose the battle. We're not kids anymore. I have to grow up sometime._

"_And what about you? I always thought you'd be there to catch me when I fall. That you'd always be my hero, my rock, my safe place in the harbor. Where is that strength I love so much about you?"_

_Ethan's temple pulsed as he gritted his teeth. "Strength? You want to know where it is? It's tied to my hope that everything is going to be fine. In the place where my dream of the day we take him home and put him to bed in his little bassinet in his freshly finished nursery lives. Because without that hope, without that dream, my strength doesn't exist, OK? It simply doesn't exist."_

"_Then how can you expect me to be upbeat and positive if your strength—the one I rely on so much—isn't there?" _

"_You used to be able to! You used to be able to make me believe in anything you chose no matter how ridiculous or inappropriate anyone else thought it was. Why can't you do it now?" Ethan's eyes pleaded with her, the pain unbearable to her heart._

"_I don't know!" she cried. "I don't know. I just…can't…"_

It broke Theresa's heart that she and Ethan couldn't really grieve together on this, weren't truly supporting each other. But what were they supposed to do? Things had happened so fast, and they were reacting to one scenario after the next so quickly they were just keeping their heads above water.

"Yes, Doctor. We know things haven't been easy, but Josh is getting better right? I mean, you said the infection is gone, and he's starting to breathe on his own again." Ethan looked at the doctor, begging him with the unspoken word for him to tell him they had nothing to worry about, and Theresa brought her attention back to the meeting.

Dr. Malloy looked guarded. "That is true. However, a set back like the one Josh experienced really can do a number on a premature baby, especially one that had as many challenges as Josh." He paused and Theresa spoke.

"Has it effected Josh in a harmful way?"

"Not that we can see on paper. Like I said, he has shown definite signs of improvement. But when I look at your son, I don't see the _quality _of improvement that I'd like." Dr. Malloy gave the couple a minute to digest this.

"What are you saying then?" Theresa asked. Ethan sat next to her tensely. He reached for her hand, and gripped it in a death vice, and in that moment she knew she had to be the strong one. She didn't know how she'd do it, but she couldn't break down for Ethan's sake.

The good doctor had obviously given this a lot of thought as he began to speak immediately. "I think we've reached a deciding juncture—a now or never time if you will—with your son. He is breathing over the vent as we discussed, his labs and vitals are stable. I'm afraid that if we leave him on the ventilator too long now, he'll become dependent on it, and we'll never be able to get him off."

"So…ahem." Ethan cleared his throat. "So you want to remove the ventilator?"

"Are you sure he's ready?" Theresa asked.

Dr. Malloy didn't confirm or deny his feelings in his body language. "We've been slowly weaning the ventilator off, and I think that we're to a level where we could remove it safely." He looked serious. "I think it's time to see if he can do this. And if he can't, we can always re intubate for a little while."

"You'll be watching him the whole time right? Nobody's going to leave his side until we know if he really can breathe on his own?" Theresa was desperate to know, and Dr. Malloy nodded.

"Absolutely. I'll never leave his side."

"When will you do this? Today?" Ethan asked.

"Ideally. You and your wife talk about it and let me know what you think. But I'm prepared to do it as soon as you give the word."

Ethan and Theresa sat in silence when the doctor left.

"I've dreamed of this moment since the day he was born, and now that it's here I'm scared out of my mind." Ethan's voice was hoarse, telling of the truth of his statement.

Theresa knew exactly the feeling that he was describing. Her own fear was threatening to choke her to death. But she suddenly had clarity in her thoughts, an epiphany of sorts. She didn't know where it had come from, but she knew it was true.

"You were talking about fate earlier." Ethan looked at her steadily and she continued. "I'm not sure if fate is appropriate here, but if there ever was a time to believe in something greater, something beyond human imagination, I think this would be it. This is the time to have a little faith."

Ethan nodded and he smiled as some of the old Theresa seemed to come through. "You're right. He's going to be fine. They're going to turn off the ventilator, and he's going to breathe on his own. I know it. OK then. Let's give Dr. Malloy the go ahead."

"Um Ethan, wait." Theresa looked to have something on her mind.

"What is it?"

"I think we should wait until we can get all our family to come and see him." she said. Her reason was immediately clear to Ethan.

"Theresa! He's not going to die! He's going to be fine! Where's that faith you were just talking about?" His tone was accusing.

Theresa closed her eyes. "I'm not saying that he won't be fine. I just think we need to give our families time to be here in case this doesn't work. Especially the kids." He still looked mad, so she tried again. "I'm just trying to think practically. You taught me that!"

"He's not going to die." Ethan said again, but his voice was losing some of its venom. His demeanor begging for her to agree.

Theresa couldn't do that. Not even to comfort her husband. She simply gave a sympathetic nod.

"Let's go call the family."

Theresa laid her hand gently against the incubator and looked lovingly at her precious baby. He had changed a lot since that first night and she loved him as completely as it was possible to love another human being. It never ceased to amaze her how deep and all encompassing a mother's love could be. How the more she gave, the more her heart had to give. She didn't have less for each of her children as the next ones came along, but it instead grew with leaps and bounds. In the six short weeks Joshua had been alive, she couldn't imagine her life without him. It was like he had always been a part of it.

And today, she might be asked to let him go.

Could she really? If called upon to give her son back to The One who had given him, could she do it? The tears that immediately sprang into her eyes told her she couldn't. She tried to follow Ethan's example and simply believe that it all would turn out well. Believe that Josh would breathe on his own when they turned off the ventilator. Believe that they would rock him to sleep in their own home in merely a few weeks time. Closing her eyes, she tried to picture it…she in the newly refinished rocker, Josh in her arms. Ethan kneeling beside them, his own hand resting against Josh's head allowing his arm to hold them both…

"_Help me!" She struggled to keep from falling in the water that was preparing to swallow her. "Help me! Help!"_

"Theresa?"

She was jerked out of the vision, gasping for breath, at the sound of Paloma's voice.

"Are you OK?" Paloma's eyes were concerned, as were Noah's who stood beside her. Theresa hadn't hear them come in.

"I'm fine." Theresa tried to force a smile. "It's just hard, you know."

"I can't even imagine." Paloma hugged her sister. "Pretty much all our family is here. We all rode up at the same time. The staff is making us take turns coming in."

"Yeah. And Dad and Jess will be here soon. I'm not sure about Ivy, but I don't think she'd miss this." Noah added.

Theresa didn't say anything, but she doubted that Ivy would come. Ivy had been to the hospital only a handful of times to see her grandson, and said that it was just too hard to see him like this.

"OK. Great. You guys stay awhile then, and I'll go see everyone else in the lounge."

"Hi Theresa." Martin reached to give his oldest daughter a hug and she didn't pull away. Martin took this as he always did, as a victory for the moment. She had been true to her word, and had not once kept him from seeing the newest member of her family in the last six weeks. And though she never initiated conversation or shows of affection, she didn't shy away when he did. He wasn't sure if that meant she'd forgiven him or not, but he took it for what it was and was grateful for it.

"How are you holding up, Mija?" Pilar was next with a hug.

Theresa shrugged. "As well as can be expected I guess." She looked around the room. "Where are the kids?"

"Ethan took them to the vending machine. He knew you'd gripe about the chocolate, but he figured this one time wouldn't hurt." Luis answered. He held out his arm from where he sat on the couch with Fancy, and Theresa sat close. Miguel and Kay came close too. They didn't need to say anything. She felt their support. Kay must've sensed what Theresa was afraid to say, because she patted her hand and leaned forward encouragingly.

"It's going to be fine. The doctor wouldn't be doing this if he didn't think it was time. Josh is going to be fine."

"That's what I keep trying to tell her." Ethan had gotten back with the kids and was sitting beside her, making the couch a tight fit for the four adults. The girls hopped up into various grown up laps, Bud sat on the arm of the couch by his father, and Ethan looked at his wife. "This is the beginning of something good. I know it."

"So has all your family seen the baby?" Dr. Malloy stood next to Ethan and Theresa beside Josh's bed. "Are you ready?"

Looking at each other and collectively taking a deep breath, they nodded.

"We're…we're ready." Ethan said.

"OK. Well, lets get this tube out and see how he does."

"It's been 45 minutes. He's been breathing on his own for 45 minutes. That's good right?" Theresa turned to the doctor who was watching Josh's vitals by the monitors at the nurses' desk.

Dr. Malloy nodded with a smile. "That's very good. We're not out of the woods yet though. We need to see how long he can sustain it. But this is definitely a good sign!"

"Did you hear that Ethan? It's a good sign!" Some of Theresa's undying optimism was coming back and Ethan grinned as he hugged her.

"I told you it was all going to be fine!"

"Yeah, you did!" Theresa laughed.

They reached the one-hour mark, and Josh didn't seem to be minding a bit that he wasn't hooked to the ventilator anymore. Dr. Malloy became even more optimistic.

"He's looking really good. I think I'll stay a few more minutes to watch and then I'll be on my way."

Theresa turned to Ethan. "Maybe we should let everyone know its going OK. They're probably worried."

When they walked into the lounge everyone stood, their eyes large and questioning.

"He's doing fine!" Ethan exclaimed, and quiet prayers of relief and thanksgiving were raised.

"Oh Mija! That's such good news!" Pilar cried as she hugged Theresa.

"I know!" Theresa's smile stretched off her face. "I was so scared. I didn't dare believe it. But Ethan was right to keep believing."

"So what does the doctor say?" Sam asked.

"He's thinks everything looks just fine. He was just going to stay a few more minutes to watch, but he doesn't think we should have any problems." Ethan answered.

The family talked for a few more minutes and then the kids clamored to see their brother.

"I think that would be a good idea." Theresa said. "As soon as Dr. Malloy says it's OK, we'll take you in."

"Speaking of the doc, maybe we should get back." Ethan said, and Theresa agreed.

"_Code Blue. NICU. Code Blue. NICU."_

The urgent voice over the intercom froze everyone in their tracks.

"_Code Blue. NICU. Code Blue. NICU."_

The message was repeated again, and Ethan and Theresa tried to breathe. Then simultaneously ran from the room. There were several other babies in the NICU so it was entirely possible that the call wasn't for Josh. But until they saw for themselves, they couldn't help the panic.

Reaching the viewing window, Ethan and Theresa took in the site of the code team working around a bed and then felt the world screech to a halt.

It was their son's bed the doctors and nurses were swarming around.

"No! No!" Theresa yelled.

They ran into the room, not following any protocol they had been asked to keep before, and were immediately met by a nurse.

"What happened?" Ethan demanded.

"No…no…no…! You have to save my baby!" Theresa was starting to sob.

"He just got tired. As we were watching, his saturation started dropping, and his respiratory effort increased and became more labored. After about five minutes, Dr. Malloy thought we should re intubate. He was getting ready to call for you when Josh stopped breathing all together and his heart stopped too."

"We weren't here! Ethan, we weren't here!" Theresa was inconsolable, and Ethan was crying as well.

"Please! They have to save our son! They have to!" he choked out.

"Don't worry Mr. Winthrop. They're doing the very best they can. Dr. Malloy won't stop until the last option is exhausted." the nurse answered soothingly.

For the next 45 minutes, the doctors and nurses worked tirelessly over Joshua, the nurse beside them explaining everything as it was done. But Theresa couldn't attend. All she could see was the water waiting to engulf her, the hand holding her out of it straining with the effort.

And then in slow motion it was over. Dr. Malloy raised his hand in a sign to stop, and the staff surrendered in defeat.

"No! No! They can't stop!" Ethan exclaimed.

They watched Dr. Malloy look at the clock. "Time of death…"

"_NOOOOOOO!"_

Hearing the agonized cry of a heartbroken mother, and the guttural sobs of a weeping father, the other parents in the NICU felt their pain.

"NOOOOO!" Theresa cried again. "Ethan, our baby!"

Ethan could only vaguely hear his wife's sobs. His own were deafening in his ears. "Josh-ua!" he whispered brokenly. Unable to hold Theresa up, they both sank to the floor in grief.

And the ocean of water swallowed them both.


	54. Chapter 53

Chapter 53 ~

_The water was freezing cold. It struck like stabbing knives all over her body, and stripped her breath away. Her muscles cramped in rebellion, and she couldn't move._

_She was drowning. She knew it. And yet she was powerless to do otherwise._

"_Ther-esa!"_

_The cry came to her muffled, as if it was spoken through a fog horn miles away. And her head registered one word, one name._

_Ethan._

_He wasn't beside her. And she couldn't see him either. Where was he?_

"_Ther-esa!"_

_There it was again. Ethan was definitely crying for her. And it struck something deep inside her. Something primitive, primal. Something more powerful than the pull of death._

_The will to survive._

"_Theresa!"_

_Mentally crying against the pain, Theresa began to kick with all her might, looking for the surface. Breaking free just as she felt like her lungs would burst, Theresa took a deep gasping breath._

"_Ethan!" She fought the waves as she looked around frantically. "Ethan! Where are you? Ethan!"_

"_Theresa…!"_

Theresa walked quietly out of the master bath and stopped to lean against the door jam and look at her husband. He was sitting silently on the side of their bed, dressed in his Sunday best, playing with the necktie he hadn't put on yet. His shoulders were stooped, as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. She watched as one tear dripped onto his cheek and off his chin, then another that was followed by a third. She walked over and sat beside him, also silently. He didn't look up, but turned his head slightly away to hide the tears. He was trying so hard to be strong for all of them. But it was obvious that he didn't know how he was going to make it through today anymore than she did.

"It's going to be OK Baby." she whispered as she reached her arms around his waist.

"How? When?" His voice broke her heart and started her own tears, which had never been too far away since the minute Joshua had died.

"I don't know. But Mama says it will. She says that we'll survive." Theresa tried to calm herself and draw on her mother's words for strength.

"Is she sure? Because I'm not." He sounded like a lost little boy.

Theresa kissed the side of his neck and lay her head against his shoulder, and tried to breathe through the suffocating pain. She knew her mother was right. Somehow, someday, they would survive.

But how would she ever _live_ without her baby boy?

_

* * *

_

_The water was inky black. So dark that he couldn't see his hand in front of his eyes. He had no sense of direction, no idea how to make it to the top. Or if he was even facing in the right direction. All he knew was an overwhelming sense of emptiness, and the undeniable feeling of being alone in the darkness. _

_He was drowning. He knew it. Strange he wasn't panicking, but instead felt a deadly calm wash over him. What was the point of fighting it? He was going to die. He didn't fear it. In fact, he might even welcome it._

"_E-than!"_

_Theresa._

"_E-than!"_

_Theresa! Where are you?_

_He could hear her voice, floating through the darkness, guiding him to the top. _

"_E-than!"_

_Her voice stirred in him the most basic of his instincts—survival. He fought off the fear of being unable to see and just followed her voice, breaking through into the harsh light of day…_

Ethan looked down at his tiny wife. She looked like something you'd see in an old movie. Dressed from head to toe in striking, elegant black. Her hat sat perfectly on her head, allowing the large brim to basically hide her face from the world, except for the huge eyes that looked haunted from underneath. Her beauty made all the more striking in her grief. Ethan only absently noticed all of this for a minute before he followed her gaze to what was the cause of the tears that were beginning to form.

The small car from the funeral home had arrived.

The memorial of their son was to be a small affair. Only they, with their immediate families and Father Lanningan gathered together at the graveside for a few words. It seemed appropriate. Only their families had known Joshua after all. Anyone else that wanted to pay their respects was to call on the family at Ivy's home after the service. His mother's idea. Ethan would've much rather buried his son, then gone home to bury his sorrow in private. Gathering his strength, whatever little he had, Ethan willed his feet toward the car to do the one thing he felt was his absolute duty as father to do.

Everyone stood quietly around the grave, and watched as the tiniest coffin was lifted from the car, and handed to Ethan by the funeral director. It wasn't a huge effort; it was only about the size of a large shoebox. Ethan's heart stopped beating for just a moment. How was it possible that a whole lifetime of memories and love and happiness, of scraped knees, little league games, grounding for breaking curfew, first loves, how was it possible that they were all contained in this little box? The tears gathered in his eyes again, but he refused to let them fall, and again willed his feet to do his bidding.

Watching Ethan, Theresa marveled at his strength of mind. He had been adamant that he would carry his son to his final rest, but she knew it was killing him. Still, he didn't falter or flinch as he walked between the two lines of relatives and laid Joshua at his designated place, and then took his own beside her.

"We're ready, Father." Ethan said.

"Let us begin." Father Lannigan started the service, and all gathered round.

Theresa only heard bits and pieces of what he was saying. Something about how sad it was to lose a life at so young an age. How unfair it seemed to make parents bury they're own child. All she could see was her son's coffin, the grave waiting to receive it and the engraving on his tombstone…

_Joshua Gabriel Winthrop_

_Beloved son of Ethan and Theresa_

_Beloved brother of Bud, Jane, and Lily_

_July 31, ____– September 14,_____

July 31 through September 14…too short. But then again, a lifetime would've been too short.

"For our ways are not the Lord's ways, or our thoughts His thoughts. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away…" Father Lannigan was still talking.

Theresa didn't understand it when people said that. Was that supposed to make her feel better right now? It didn't. It didn't tell her why God thought it was better for her to lose her son. Just that she was supposed to accept it as a matter of blind faith. Maybe someday. But not today. She couldn't wrap her head around something that big.

"Ethan? Theresa?"

It was time for their part. She swore she was having an out of body experience. How she stepped up to the side of the grave with Ethan, Theresa didn't know. But suddenly, she found herself there, caressing the brightly polished wood of the casket, listening to Ethan as he addressed the family.

"Ahem. When Bud was just a baby, Theresa did what every mother dreams of doing and ended every bedtime with a story. But Theresa took it one step further and when she finished whatever story she read that night, she would always read one more just before she turned out the lights. A particular one that tells of a mother's love for her child for always, right up until the day she is too old to be by their side anymore."

Ethan looked at Pilar, who was nodding with tears in her eyes. Of course she had known of the tradition. She had put her grandchildren to bed many times over the years. Ethan looked over to his own father, also with tears in his eyes. He only had Lily really to share those memories with, but he knew the tradition too.

"It's a ritual we've kept up with Jane and Lily as well." Ethan paused as his emotions became too much, and began again when he had control. "I think the story tells of how Theresa and I feel for Joshua, how we will always feel even though he is no longer with us. And we would like you to join in by listening as we read him his bedtime story."

Sniffs could be heard and tissues were brought out when Ethan finished and turned and wrapped his arms around Theresa's waist, and she opened the brand new book that would be locked away with the few other keepsakes they had for Joshua. Sniffling as well, she drew a deep breath and began,

"_A Mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held him, she sang:_

"_I'll love you forever. _

"_I'll like you for always._

"_As long as I'm living,_

"_My baby you'll be."_

And she read straight through with only a slight falter until she got to the end of the book, when the mother was an old woman and couldn't rock her son anymore, and he rocked her instead. The part that could never happen since Joshua was dead. Then she couldn't read through her tears, and Ethan finished,

"_I'll love you forever. _

"_I'll like you for always._

"_As long as I'm living,_

"_My mommy you'll be._

"_When the son came home that night, he stood for a long time at the top of the stairs. Then he went into the room where his very new baby daughter was sleeping. He picked her up in his arms and very slowly rocked her back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while he rocked her, he sang…"_

The murmurs of their families reciting along as Ethan read could be heard now…

"_I'll love you forever._

"_I'll like you for always._

"_As long as I'm living,_

"_My baby you'll be."_

There was a moment of silence when the story was over, then Father Lannigan moved to end the service.

With some fancy words, and flowery speeches that were appropriate for the occasion Ethan was sure. But he didn't hear. What did it matter? He didn't feel better about his son being gone. Nothing would ever ease that pain.

Then it was time.

Bud, Jane, and Lily joined their parents next to the grave, and each placed a flower of their choosing on top of the casket. Bud had chosen a blue tiger lily he had seen in the flower shop window. He said it was perfect because blue was for boys, and tigers were tough. Jane had chosen a pink and yellow rose from they're own garden because they were her favorite, and Lily had chosen a white carnation simply because it was "pretty".

Then with tears flowing in earnest, everyone watched as Joshua Gabriel Winthrop was lowered to his final resting-place in the ground.

It was done.

* * *

"Thank you."

"Thank you for coming."

"Yes. It's very hard."

"Thank you. We appreciate that very much."

The last of the guests were leaving Ivy's house, and Theresa was beyond drained. Everybody who was anybody had felt the need to come, no matter how they came to be connected with the Winthrops or Crane Industries, or if they even knew the Lopez-Fitzgeralds at all. Ivy was well pleased with the turn out, but Theresa would have much rather it had been just the citizens of Harmony. Their closest friends. And the few friends of the kids that came. Julian and Fox had had the decency for once in their lives to stay away, but Katherine had made an appearance. It took all of Theresa's resolve to be civil and not make a scene in front of everyone. She didn't want her phony sympathies.

On the other hand though, the business of the afternoon kept her mind off of what was about to happen as they rounded up their family and headed for home. Real life was waiting for them there. Waiting to show them just how empty and hollow their happy home could be now that death tainted it. How painful it would become—not to remember, but when others forgot. How the cries and happy sounds and reminders of babies found in life would try her by day, and haunt the halls of her home and heart by night.

All too soon, they were home, pulling up the driveway and into the garage. Before today, driving up between the trees had always given her a sense of peace. A sense of Home. Today it gave her a sense of oppression and doom. They walked into the house and nothing looked different. For some reason, she thought it should. It should be as weary and sad looking as she felt. Lily and Jane were drooping in spite of the early hour and Bud looked tired too, so Mrs. Patterson suggested they make an early evening of it and soon they were off to bed.

Now what? Theresa was lost. She wandered through the rest of the house, the living room, the kitchen, the family room; straightening this here, and turning that there. So lost in her own misery, she didn't notice that Ethan was silently following her wherever she went. Up the stairs her feet carried her, of their own volition she was sure, straight to the nursery and slowly she switched on the lamp.

Soft light flooded the room. Mrs. Patterson and Pilar, along with all of Ethan and Theresa's siblings and Sam too as his time allowed, had worked tirelessly to finish the room, determined that Ethan and Theresa could bring Joshua home to his very own place. Baby Disney in soft pastels had been Theresa's choice of motif, and perfect little Disney babies smiled at her from all over the room. From the wall hangings, to the crib bedding, even the blanket that draped perfectly over the arm of the oak rocker, which matched all the other furniture and trim in the room. She touched a switch on the side of the electronic mobile hanging high above the bed. A soft lullaby began to play…

"_Lullaby. And good night…"_

As the mobile continued to play, she opened the drawers of the little dresser. They were full of freshly washed or brand new clothes. Perfectly folded. Meticulously organized. Theresa pulled out one of the tiny T-shirts and inhaled the scent of new baby. The closet was stocked as well with all the supplies she would've needed, and some only her mother could've thought of. In the corner was the stroller/car seat combo she had picked out, standing ready to safely take its expected charge wherever they needed to go. Along the wall across from the crib was a bookshelf, already loaded with books and toys. It was just as she would've planned it. It was just as she dreamed it.

It mocked her.

Laughed in the face of her grief.

"_Lullaby. And goodnight…"_

_Hahahaha!_

_Just as I dreamed it…_

_Hahahaha!_

_He's gone…_

_Hahahaha!_

"_Lullaby. And goodnight…"_

_Hahahaha!_

"_My baby!" _

_HAHAHAHAAAAAHHAAA…!_

It was too much.

"My baby!" Theresa cried, and ran out of the nursery as if the devil himself was after her.

Still following behind silently, Ethan reached the master bedroom seconds after his wife, and caught her before she hit the floor.

"I'm here." he whispered.

"Ethan, our baby! Our son! I want my son back!" she wept into his arms.

"Shh. It's going to be OK. You're going to be fine." Ethan said all the things you're taught to say in times like this, but his own grief began to overtake him as well. How could he comfort her when all he wanted was the same thing? How could he promise everything would be fine when he wasn't sure himself? All he knew was the he couldn't take her tears. He never could.

"Shh. Baby, please don't cry. Please." He tried to stop the tears, catching each as they fell with kisses all over her face. "Please don't cry."

They didn't know who gave in first, but soon it didn't matter. All that mattered was being together, right then, in that moment. Trying to prove they were still alive. Trying to feel something besides the mind numbing pain of loss.

_Featured excerpts are from the book **Love You Forever** by Robert Munsch. To learn more about the author/see other books written by him go to .com_


	55. Chapter 54

Chapter 54 ~

_The water was so deep. _

_First she had had the sense of floating out to sea. Further and further out she floated till she could no longer see land, till no one could hear her cries. Then she had just concentrated on trying to survive._

_Float. _

_Tread water._

_Float. _

_Tread water._

_Float. _

_Tread water._

_Float?_

_No._

_Sink._

_She was too tired. Too tired to try to survive. It was too hard. Nobody could help her anyway. Even if they could see this far out, they couldn't see this deep. They couldn't feel the vengeance of the ocean pressing against her from every side. Dragging her down to the depths of its unknown with aggression, sure of its ultimate victory._

_She would die now. Die from grief. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad. _

_If she died, she'd be with Joshua. _

_That's all she wanted, to be with her baby boy. To live where he lived. To play where he played. To give him all the love she couldn't give him on this earth. _

_Ethan would understand. He wanted to be with Joshua as much as she did. He must. After all, he was Josh's father…._

Ethan stood with his hands in his pockets, leaning against the door jam of the family room as he had so many times before. Theresa never looked up. He doubted she'd even heard him come in. It had been this way for the last three weeks. Basically since the day after the funeral.

The Funeral.

That's what they called it. Like it hadn't been about a person. It hadn't been about a tiny human being that never had the chance to live. Like it hadn't been their son they had put in the ground. Did they think it would make things better not to acknowledge their pain, their loss? That somehow it might not have really happened if they gave it a generic moniker, an impersonal one? Well, it didn't. As far as Ethan could tell, their non-acknowledgment was only making things worse. The sex they had had on their bedroom floor after Theresa had run from the nursery the first time it became real that Josh was gone was the closest they had been. Ethan thought that things like this were supposed to bring a couple together. So why were they drifting apart?

Maybe because it was easier to ignore it and hope it would go away then to face it? It was easier to lose himself in his work, and in pretending he was "dealing with this really well" as everyone kept saying. To pretend he was being strong for his family when he really wanted to lie in Theresa's arms, and listen to her say that everything would be fine. He wanted to pretend that the last two and a half months hadn't happened and just be "Ethan and Theresa" again. When the world was theirs for the taking, love was sweet, and as long as she was by his side and holding his hand, he could get through anything.

Did that make him a bad father? To wish his son hadn't been born? No. He didn't wish that. He just wanted to take a break. To leave reality, and live in the world Theresa normally lived in. The world where reason didn't belong, and hope and faith and an unwavering belief in fate reigned.

How did he get there though? He felt like he was out in the ocean fighting alone. He called for her, screamed for her even, and she didn't answer. He couldn't see her. He didn't know how long he could last before he'd drown. Panic was setting in.

_Theresa? What's happened to us? How do we get back to where we were? In love, and daring the world to take us on? I miss you. I miss us._

They used to be so in tune. Now, she didn't even know he'd been standing there watching her for ten minutes. She just sat curled in the window seat, blanket wrapped around her as if to ward off the cold even though it was a balmy Indian Summer day. And as always, she sat gazing up at the sky. She often had a crick in her neck afterwards, Ethan knew, but she never seemed to notice until she moved from the window. She looked so serene, so calm that often Ethan would leave without saying a word. He couldn't bear to break the silence she surrounded herself in. Somehow it felt like it was a time that only Theresa had, that no one was allowed to share with her. It hurt him, but he couldn't take that away from her.

Today he had needs of his own. He needed to hear her voice. Talk to her. Feel like they were connecting on some level. Any level at all. Have some sense of normalcy. He couldn't keep quiet any longer.

"I missed you at work today." Ethan took a seat across from her on the edge of the coffee table, and noted with a sinking heart that Theresa didn't startle at the sound of his voice. Maybe she had known he was there all along and had just been ignoring him. "Everyone is concerned about you. They send their love and regards. Valerie can't wait for the day you come back."

She glanced toward him briefly, but didn't say anything. Her demeanor wasn't hostile…it wasn't anything. Ethan tried again.

"We got a lot of work done on the housing project proposal." Ethan had been working like a fiend on that project. It kept his mind off of his aching heart, and gave him a reason to feel like he and Theresa were still partners at something. True, it had been his baby to start with, but Theresa had given him the opportunity to see it fulfilled, and it had turned into their baby. He was going to make it something to be proud of even if she wasn't by his side helping.

Theresa nodded. "That's good." She still wasn't looking at him, and finally he'd had enough.

"Baby, where are you? What's happened to us?"

"What do you mean?" She finally looked at him with something besides a blank stare, and he took that as a good sign to keep talking.

"I mean, I feel like we're drifting apart. Like I don't really know what you're going through right now, and you don't really know what I'm going through. Since the day we got married, we've never had to wonder what the other was thinking…about anything."

Theresa's look didn't change, but she did ask, "What are you going though?"

Ethan felt some frustration at this. What did she think he was thinking? Wait, didn't he just say he didn't think she knew? He was starting to drive himself crazy.

"I feel like I'm out here, floundering, trying to keep from drowning with grief. And I'm alone. You're not with me. And that scares me to death."

Theresa held her head down, and Ethan waited for her to respond. He waited so long, he feared she wasn't going to say anything after all. But then she looked up.

"What do you want me to do?"

Ethan sat beside her and took her hand. "I want you to sit here with me and be Theresa again. I want you to hold my hand and take me back to when we were 'Ethan and Theresa' and I knew nothing bad could happen to us because you said it was so. I want you to make the pain go away. Even if it's just for a little while."

Theresa shook her head sadly. "I don't think I can do that for you, Ethan."

This wasn't the first time she'd made a remark to that effect, and each time she hadn't given him a reason. He'd make her explain this time.

"Sure you can! You always could before. That's who you are!"

"I can't!" she said more firmly than before.

"Why not?" he demanded.

"Because I don't know how to be that person anymore. I don't know who that person even is."

He didn't think it was possible, but Ethan's heart broke.

Again.

To lose his son? That was hard.

But to lose his wife at the same time?

That was unbearable.

"Dad?"

Ethan looked up to see his son standing in the doorway with Jane and Lily. They all looked uncertain, and he made a snap decision. He and Theresa weren't the only ones suffering. The kids could feel the tension too. He wasn't going to let that happen anymore.

"Yeah Buddy?"

"We're bored. We wanted to know if you'd come out and play baseball with us?"

"Sure. I'll meet you outside. Just let me go and change." Ethan took pleasure in watching the eyes of his children light up.

"Cool!" Bud exclaimed and he and the girls ran outside to the backyard.

Ethan turned to ask if Theresa wanted to come outside with them, but then didn't bother.

She was already gazing out into the sky.

* * *

"Hey Batter, Batter, Batter!"

Jane giggled as she stepped up to the plate—one of the flat stones that had been used to mark a path out into the garden. "Daddy, you're silly."

Ethan chuckled. "I wouldn't be laughing if I were you. I'm going to strike you out!"

"No you're not!" Jane answered confidently. "You never do!"

"That's because he still lets you hit the ball." Bud muttered under his breath from his position as catcher.

"What did you say?" Jane asked.

"Nothing." Bud had noticed his father's look, and knew he couldn't give the secret away.

"Hurry up and hit Jane! I want a turn!" Lily called from where she stood behind Ethan. Her glove was way too big, and of course she never caught the ball, but if she didn't try hardest to keep up with the big kids. Ethan loved it.

"And here's the pitch…" Ethan wound up, and pitched a very easy ball, which Jane of course hit, and Lily didn't catch, making Jane get all the way "home" before anyone could get her out.

"My turn! My turn!" Lily dropped her glove and ran to get her little bat, Jane took over as catcher, and Bud took the outfield.

As all the changes were taking place, Ethan looked up and noticed a little boy at the edge of the woods watching.

"Hey, hold on a minute guys." Ethan trotted over to the little boy. "Hey there. Are you lost?"

"No." The little boy didn't seem fazed talking to a stranger.

"OK. Where do you live?" Ethan asked then.

"On the other side of these woods." the child answered matter of factly.

Ethan looked surprised. "Your parents let you come all this way by yourself?"

"I didn't ask them." Again, the child seemed unfazed by any of this, but Ethan was beginning to have some real misgivings.

"Well, don't you think they'll be worried when they figure out you're not home?"

"They're not home right now. The lady that cares for me doesn't mind either. As long as I'm home for dinner, it's OK."

Ethan was really beginning to get concerned now. The child couldn't be more than six years old. Who left their child with someone who didn't care where they were during the day? Then he was further surprised by the next words out of the boy's mouth.

"Can I play with you?"

"I don't mind if you play with us" he began, wanting to be neighborly. "But don't you think you should call your nanny first and let her know where you are?"

"No. The rule is I have to be home by dinner. She won't be worried."

Ethan thought for just a minute. "OK. You can stay for a little while, but I want to go with you when you go back to your house. I don't like the idea of you walking back through the woods by yourself. You could get lost."

"I won't get lost." The boy answered cheerfully and ran toward the yard where Bud, Jane and Lily were watching. "Your daddy said I could play with you." he announced when he reached them.

Well, he certainly wasn't shy; whatever else he might be.

"Cool!" Bud replied. "I say we play boys against girls! What's your name?"

"Jay."

"OK, Jay. We're going to be in the outfield while Lily bats. Then it will be your turn, then mine." Bud quickly explained how it worked and gave him the glove Lily had discarded before.

"I've never played this game before." Jay said.

"Never ever?" Jane was surprised.

"No." Jay didn't look uncomfortable at all. "Can you show me?"

"Sure. Actually, Daddy should show you. He's the best teacher in the world." Jane answered sweetly. "OK, Daddy? Jay's never played before, so can you show him?"

"Sure." Ethan was still baffled, but the boy was in the yard now. He might as well roll with it.

Jay proved to be a fast learner and a natural athlete at that. He picked up on the game quickly and was soon having just as much fun as the rest of the kids. Suddenly he looked up at the sky, and dropped his bat.

"I have to go now. It's almost dinnertime. Thanks for letting me play with you and teaching me Baseball." He started walking back the way he came, but Ethan stopped him.

"No, no. It's a little late. Let me go get my car keys, and I'll drive you home. I want to meet your parents."

"They won't be home yet." Jay answered. "And I'll be fine. I know my way around the woods no problem."

"OK. Then I'll meet your nanny. But either way, wait for me and I'll take you home."

"Can we come with you, Daddy? I wanna go!" Lilly was running after her father and Jane wasn't far behind.

Bud chuckled. "Girls. Do you have any brothers or sisters Jay?" He turned around to talk to their new neighbor and turned just in time to see him run away into the woods.

"Hey! Wait!" Bud yelled as he ran after him. "My dad said to wait for him! Jay!"

Bud ran into the woods after the little boy, but it was no use. He was nowhere to be seen already, and not knowing where he lived, Bud didn't dare try to follow.

"Dad! Dad!" Bud screamed as he ran for home.

"What?" Ethan rushed out the door at the sound of his son's cries.

"He left! He didn't wait! And now I can't find him!"

"Jay? Jay's gone?" Ethan was beginning to panic.

"I turned around and he was running into the woods. I tried to catch him, but I couldn't. Now what?" Bud was looking scared, and Ethan's own heart was pounding.

"I don't know." he answered.

"Mrs. Patterson says to come in. Dinner's ready." Jane poked her head out the back door. "But I told her we had to take Jay home first…hey! Where's Jay?"

"He went home already. Let's go eat." Ethan sent the kids in, but lingered as he looked out into the woods.

He had to figure out a way to make sure that Jay was OK. Because if something happened to another child on his watch, he'd never forgive himself.


	56. Chapter 55

Chapter 55 ~

"Son, I don't know what to tell you."

Ethan gritted his teeth in frustration as he looked at his calm father. "But Dad! I walked for hours in those woods and didn't see a house anywhere! At least not at a distance that was reasonably close enough for a six year old to walk to our house!"

Sam looked as calm as ever. "Did you walk every trail in the woods?"

"Of course not! That would be impossible." Ethan said.

Sam shrugged. "Well then, maybe you just didn't go in the right direction"

"OK. Fine. Can you at least look for him then? I know there's a child out there in those woods that no one cares where he is during the day. I was probably the last one to see him!"

"Well, no one's filed a Missing Persons report for the last few weeks, and for sure not one fitting your description or time frame. I can't do anything if someone doesn't say he's missing." Sam said.

Ethan stood with his hands on his dad's desk and leaned forward. "But Dad. He's just a kid. And I'm worried about him. Can't you just go look?"

"Did he look unkempt?" Sam asked.

"No."

"Did he look malnourished, too thin, like he hadn't eaten?"

"No." Ethan answered again.

"Did he look afraid? Did he have any bruises? Did he look abused in any way?"

Ethan sighed. "No."

Sam shook his head. "Then I have to assume the little boy is fine. Especially since no one has came forward to report their son missing. Ethan, I'm sorry. But I just don't have the man power or the funds to go looking for a problem that doesn't seem to exist." Ethan didn't look at all satisfied with this explanation, but Sam's hands were tied. "Look. Son. Go home. And hope he shows up again. That's all you can do."

* * *

Mrs. Patterson was cleaning in the family room, and watched Theresa with an assessing eye. The housekeeper thoughts she was getting frightfully thin. Though she was too beautiful to ever look bad, Theresa didn't look like she cared much about how she looked. She showered everyday, but that was about it. Her face was void of makeup, her wet hair hung limply around her face and shoulders, tucked simply behind her ears, and she had taken to wearing clothes so casual, it was hard to tell if she was still in her pajamas or not.

But the biggest change wasn't on the outside as much as inside Mrs. Winthrop. She used to bring as much life and energy to this house as the three active kids she loved to chase through it. Rarely without a smile, her eyes always sparkled with some sort of new mischief, and her laugh made you laugh just because you heard it. And the love that she showered on Mr. Winthrop…well, he thrived on it. He lived for it. It was palpable all through the house.

They hadn't been seeing much of any of that since Joshua died. It was like with the death of her son came the death of Theresa's spirit, ergo the death of this home as well. It broke Mrs. Patterson's heart.

Mrs. Patterson finished dusting the coffee table, the stereo console, and finally the piano before she couldn't take it anymore. She silently left the room, went into the kitchen, and returned with one of Theresa's favorite drinks.

"Here. Your favorite—hot apple cider with a Cinnamon stick." She said as she sat next to Theresa in the window seat. "Drink up, and I won't be hearing anything to the contrary." It was true that she was speaking to her employer, but she had always had a motherly instinct toward the younger woman, and Theresa had never discouraged it.

"Thank you." Theresa accepted the mug with a sheepish smile and took a sip, her eyes closing briefly. "Delicious as usual." Theresa didn't say anymore, just looked out the window as she always did.

"You know child," Mrs. Patterson started, "I know you're hurting unbelievably over Little Joshua, but this isn't the way to go about missing him. Take it from someone who's been there."

Theresa looked up in surprise. "What do you mean?"

Mrs. Patterson took a deep breath. It had been a long time since she had talked about this. "Well, a long time ago, Mr. Patterson and I lost a child, too."

Theresa's eyes lit in shared pain, and she looked alive for the first time in eight weeks. "Really?"

Mrs. Patterson nodded. "Our second child. A beautiful baby girl."

"What happened?" Theresa asked.

"Well, she had just been born and everything seemed to be going fine. Then during her first bath, she just stopped breathing. They tried everything they could to revive her, but she died anyway." Mrs. Patterson sniffed. It still made her cry after all these years. "I'd had really hard labor, and she almost didn't make it through that either. In those days they didn't monitor things like they do now you know. The doctor said that the combined stress of the labor and the shock of the new environment was just too much for her."

"I'm so sorry." Theresa's own grief was still too fresh to allow her to say anything else.

"Thank you." Mrs. Patterson was ready to continue the story. "Anyway, when they told me my baby girl was dead, I literally lost my mind with grief. They said that I screamed and screamed and screamed. I even hit one of the nurses, and they had to sedate me."

Theresa's eyes were big, but she didn't interrupt.

"By the time I came back to myself, it was over. It had been several days and my husband had to carry on by himself. He was a proud man, a man's man, and didn't know how to deal with all of this. So he reacted like his own father would've. With what he called tough love. Men didn't cry or carry on about things. They took it like a man and moved on. And they expected everyone around them to do it too. He said that taking care of me was more important that worrying about a dead baby, so he buried her the next day. He didn't even give her a name. He said he didn't see the point. Her birth certificate just said 'Baby Girl Patterson'. When I heard that, I nearly killed him I was so angry."

Theresa nodded, understanding and horror filling her features. "I can't imagine not naming our son. Or Ethan even acting that way."

"Oh. Mr. Winthrop would never. He's a much different man than my Jim was. Anyway, I got better and came home and we never spoke of our daughter again. Never once. Jim never came with me to her grave, never remembered her birthday with me, never acknowledged that either of us had reason to grieve. For awhile, I did just like you. Whenever Jim was gone, I'd just sit and wish for death. Just wish for my baby Jennifer."

Theresa didn't know how Mrs. Patterson had known she was wishing to be with Joshua, but she was more confused by her calling her baby by name. "I thought you said your husband didn't name your daughter?"

"He didn't." Mrs. Patterson answered. "But in my heart, I named her Jennifer. And all I wanted to do was have my baby girl back. Then one day, the good Lord jerked me back to reality. I looked down at my first born son, and he was sitting quietly at my feet. His hair wasn't combed, his face was dirty, and his clothes looked like they were at least a size too small. I didn't know when he had grown out of them. I guess it was when I wasn't paying attention. And then and there I decided that this was not the way to live. I couldn't do it Jim's way, but I couldn't do it the way I had been either.

So I started living again little by little. I started by getting my son some new clothes, and we started playing outside again. And then I started laughing again, and then picking up my hobbies again. And soon, I was all right--again. But that didn't happen till I started living my life_ for_ Jennifer instead of living my life _pining over_ her. That didn't happen until I decided to be a mother she could look down on and be proud of. And it didn't happen over night.

I guess what I'm saying is that right now you don't see how you can live your whole life without Josh, and I'm telling you all you have to do is live one step at a time. One hour at a time. Then a day. Then a week. And then one day, you'll take a look around and realize you're just fine."

Theresa was crying now, but Mrs. Patterson wasn't quite finished.

"But the one thing I could never get back was my marriage. Jim and I died a slow death because of how we didn't deal with Jennifer's death. I resented the fact that he didn't seem to want to remember, and he resented the fact that I did. That ate into all the other aspects of our marriage until we were just strangers with the same last name living in the same house that happened to share several children. I hope I'm not speaking out of turn here, but what you and Mr. Winthrop have is…the stuff of dreams." Mrs. Patterson's look turned almost fierce and she took Theresa's hand forcefully. "Don't let that die. Don't waste it. It comes only once in a lifetime and only to a precious few. Hold on to it with all your might."

"But how? How do I do that?" Theresa cried.

Mrs. Patterson looked out the window. "You can start by not looking out this window _at_ life and going out _into_ it. Breathe the air. Smell the Fall. And after that, just take one step at a time."

Mrs. Patterson smiled sweetly, and left with a motherly pat on her hand, and Theresa tried to take in what she had said. She had lost a child too. Baby Jennifer. And here she was. An old woman that lived to tell about it, and share her warmth and caring with Theresa's own family. She said that all it took was one step at a time. One breath at a time. Theresa thought maybe she could manage that. She could take one step at a time.

Then she thought about the other part of Mrs. Patterson's story. The part where she and her husband fell out of love, and Theresa's tears started again. She could never fall out of love with Ethan, but if he ever fell out of love with her…she'd die. She would truly die. She thought of some of the conversations they'd been having lately, and how all he wanted was to be "Ethan and Theresa" again, and how she had told him she couldn't do that for him anymore. Her heart skipped a beat. What if it was too late? What if it had already started and she couldn't stop it?

_No! No! I won't let that happen! I have to keep Ethan! I have to make sure he knows how much I still love him!_

In a split second she knew what she had to do.

Face her biggest demon. The reason her son had been taken from her.

Throwing off her blanket, she rushed upstairs to her and Ethan's bedroom and threw on a pair of jeans to go with her red T-shirt, and her white Keds tennis shoes. Then she raked a comb through her hair and quickly wound it into a French braid. Satisfied that she at least looked presentable for the task at hand, she grabbed her purse and then ran for the kitchen to get her car keys. Mrs. Patterson was at the sink washing some chicken for dinner.

"I'll be back." Theresa called over her shoulder and grabbed her keys off the counter as she ran past.

"OK…." The housekeeper trailed off when she realized that Mrs. Winthrop was too far past to hear here. Then she smiled. She had a feeling that things would be getting back to normal around here.

* * *

"Ethan! Hello! I'm so glad you asked to see me today. I've been thinking about you and Theresa, but was afraid to intrude." Father Lannigan sat in the pew that Ethan led him to, and waited as Ethan took a seat himself. "How are the two of you doing?"

"Not good." Ethan didn't waste anytime.

Father Lannigan looked concerned. "How so?"

Ethan wasn't sure where to start, but soon the story was just pouring out. "We haven't talked since the funeral. I mean we talk, but they're just words. Nothing that means anything. Nothing about what's really important."

"What do you talk about?"

Ethan shrugged even though the priest couldn't see. "What the kids are doing in school. What Mrs. Patterson is making for dinner. If I had a good day at work or not."

"Theresa still hasn't gone back to work?" Father Lannigan asked for clarification.

"No. She just sits in the window seat in out family room looking out the window."

"And she doesn't talk about Joshua with you at all?"

Ethan started feeling choked up, so he took a minute to answer.

"Ethan?"

"No. We tried to a few weeks ago. I told her I just needed to be 'Ethan and Theresa' again. You know. When things were going good, and nothing bad ever happened. Just leave reality for a little while. Theresa used to be able to do that for me, you know? Now she says that she doesn't even know who that person is."

Father Lannigan nodded. "Ethan, I know how easy it would be and how alluring it is to look on the past and want to go back there. But you can't. You and Theresa have to find a new normal. You have to grow in your marriage. That's what these hard things are for. To make you stronger together. This is the test of what your marriage is made of. You need to help each other."

Ethan was silent.

"Ethan, what are you thinking?"

Ethan paused, trying to put it into words. "I feel like I'm drowning. I can't even see Theresa. How can I help her if I can't even see the way out myself? I used to think that Theresa and I could give each other everything we needed. That we could be there for each other no matter what. Now I'm not so sure. "

Father Lannigan was shocked. "Ethan! You and Theresa are soulmates if there ever was such a thing. You two are definitely meant to be. And I know that you don't think you're going to make it, that you think you can't help Theresa. But if you both start to help each other even if you can't see how you can, you'll find your way back to each other. You will rise from out of the depths."

Ethan was quiet. He hoped so. He really hoped so. Because he couldn't lose Theresa on top of everything else. If he lost her, he would truly die.

_

* * *

_

_Knock Knock._

Theresa thought about running for her life.

Again.

This was the third time she had stood in front of this door, and she had chickened out the first two times. But she couldn't back down. Not if she was going to get her life back.

"_Coming!"_

Theresa's pulse quickened at the sound of his voice, and she almost fainted. Finally, the door opened, and she looked up into his face, her own fear written across hers she was sure. She guessed he knew why she was here.

Because Martin was crying.


	57. Chapter 56

Chapter 56 ~

"Hi."

The word sounded breathy, scared. Theresa hated that. It made her feel like a little girl.

Martin swallowed hard. "Hi." He stood there looking at her for just a minute. "Come in."

"Thanks." Theresa stepped over the threshold into the room. It was pleasant, but pretty standard as far as rooms go. And it was definitely a bachelor's pad. Not dirty, just not a woman's idea of clean. Sitting next to the easy chair was a pair of shoes with the socks hanging out. Cartons of take out food from the Lobster Shack could still be seen on the counter in the kitchenette. Must've been his lunch. Through a doorway off to the side, she saw a newspaper spread over the unmade bed. Martin must have seen the look on Theresa's face, and stepped to close the bedroom door, and hide the cartons.

"Sorry. I wasn't expecting anyone right now. Um, here. Have a seat." He motioned for her to sit on the sofa then grabbed the remote to the TV just before she sat down.

She smiled at him faintly as he took a seat in the recliner, looking at her expectantly. Neither really knew what to say. How did she start this? How did she do the one thing that she swore she never would? The one thing that, if she was honest with herself, she wanted more than anything in the world? Before she could figure it out, he spoke softly.

"I'm glad you're here. I didn't think this day would ever come."

"It wasn't ever going to if I had anything to say about." Theresa didn't now where the words had come from, but once they were out she knew where to start. Where else but at the beginning? "I was so angry at you. And not really for the reason that you think…."

* * *

"Theresa?"

Ethan stepped into the house and immediately called for his wife. He hadn't seen her all day, and was worried about her. "Theresa?" he called again. When she didn't answer, he walked toward the family room, knowing she would be there and hoping that she would maybe be sleeping. Neither of them had been sleeping well, but Theresa's insomnia was worse. He frowned when he entered the room and found it empty. Quickly looking through the rest of the house, he realized she was nowhere to be found, then went in search of their housekeeper, whom he found continuing with dinner preparations.

"Mrs. Patterson? Have you seen Theresa?" he asked.

The older lady nodded. "You just missed her actually. She couldn't have left more than fifteen minutes ago."

Ethan was surprised. "Left? Where did she go?"

"I don't know." Mrs. Patterson said. "She ran through here, grabbed her car keys and said that she'd be back."

"And she didn't give you any idea at all about where she was going?" Ethan clarified.

Mrs. Patterson shook her head to the negative. "I'm sorry."

"That's OK." Ethan reached around her shoulders to give her a quick squeeze. "Thanks. And dinner smells great."

Mrs. Patterson smiled. "I hope she's back in time."

Ethan nodded. "If she isn't, we'll go ahead and feed the kids first." With a final 'thank you' to Mrs. Patterson, Ethan left the kitchen. He wandered into his office and pulled the file on an account that Valerie said needed his attention out of his brief case, but couldn't concentrate, and after ten minutes threw it aside.

Where was Theresa? He was a little worried that after all of these weeks she would suddenly leave the house and not tell anyone where she was going. She said that she would be back, so Ethan guessed he had to take that at face value. He just hoped she wasn't getting herself into trouble in the meantime. She had a tendency to do that; just get an idea in her head and run with it before she thought about the consequences. He had given up trying to stay a step ahead of her and now just went along for the ride.

The only problem this time was he didn't know where the ride was taking them…her. Ethan noted sadly that whatever it was that was so important was obviously one more thing that they couldn't do together right now. In the past, Theresa had been all about them. Even when Ethan had begged her to stop and move on she had refused, insisting that they were destined to go through life hand in hand. And come Hell or high water, she tried to move Heaven and Earth to prove it to him. She had tried to stop all that when she was with Jared, but even then she was an open book for the most part. Repeating the things he had said to her forever and a day, but he knew that she didn't really believe them. She was just 'moving on' because she didn't have a choice.

Now with one blow—granted a very devastating one—he was shut out. Was that really as strong as their relationship was? Strong enough to fight to have the chance to live, but zapped of the needed strength for the long haul? Ethan couldn't believe that. Not after everything they put each other through. Her lies and schemes, his refusal to believe her about Gwen, his taking Jane away from her. How hard had he tried to put her out of his heart and be true to Gwen? How many times had she threatened to divorce him if he didn't change his ways? But he couldn't help it then. He loved Theresa, and there had been no fighting it. So how did they get back to that?

"_Help each other. Even if you don't see how you can." _That's what Father Lannigan had said. Maybe that was the key. Instead of relying on the other to make it better for themselves, they needed to rely on themselves to make it better for the other. If they met in the middle somewhere, maybe they could make it.

What if they were too far-gone to meet in the middle? Ethan sat forward in his chair, determination filling his heart. Then he'd just have to go find her. If he was going to find her, he'd have to follow her footsteps. Follow them to where? It seemed a little silly, he had no idea how this could possibly help, but Ethan went to the only place he could think to start.

The window seat.

* * *

Martin didn't dare breathe. If he did, he was sure he'd shatter the moment, and he'd never be able to put the pieces back together again. Theresa was here. His baby girl was here, in his little room, of her own free will. And she was talking to him. Not talking at him, not ignoring him, not yelling. Really talking. He had feared he'd never live to see the day.

"I was mad about you leaving with Katherine. Have no doubt about that." Theresa said. "I couldn't believe that you'd sacrifice twenty years of your life for a wealthy woman. I couldn't believe you'd sacrifice your family for her. I could've forgiven you for helping her run initially if you had just come back. If you had written or called to explain. I still believe that if you had truly wanted to, you could've let us know you were alive somehow.

"But I used all my anger at that situation to cover my anger over something else. To cover my hurt over something else." Theresa paused in her story, and tears gathered in her eyes.

"Over what Baby Doll? Please tell me!" Martin leaned forward, his eyes never leaving his daughter's face.

The tears fell from behind Theresa's closed eyelids as she heard the familiar pet name. "At that!"

Martin frantically tried to figure out what she meant, but he was coming up empty. Theresa opened her eyes, saw that her father didn't understand, and more tears ran down her cheeks. Martin tried desperately to comprehend, but it was no use. He had to ask.

"At what?"

"You used to call me 'Baby Doll' all the time." Theresa began on an exhale and tried to calm herself.

Martin was even more confused. "You were my Baby Doll. My beautiful baby girl."

Theresa nodded. "I know in my head that's what you meant by it. But in my heart and soul, I never felt it. I felt like the child you didn't ever have time for. I wanted to play ball with you and Antonio and Luis. I wanted to build go-carts with you but I was always on the sidelines. I'd say that I could run as fast Luis, or do as good a job as Antonio, and you'd just look at me with this little smile and say 'of course Baby Doll.', but I didn't think you really meant it. I always felt like you thought I was just the little girl. And maybe you thought that I was just in the way."

"Oh Theresa!" Martin knew where this was going.

"Then Miguel and Paloma were born, and you and Mama both didn't have much time for me. You were always helping Luis and Antonio, and Mama was always taking care of Miguel and Paloma, and whatever I wanted to do was either fine or dismissed out of hand. All I heard was, 'Not now Theresa.', or 'Maybe later Baby Doll'. Do you remember when I won the spelling bee in my class? And I came home and told you I was the best speller in the class?" Again Martin tried frantically to recall the time of which Theresa spoke, and his face flushed red.

Theresa sniffed and shook her head. "I didn't think so. When you got home from work that day, I couldn't wait to tell you. And when I told you, you actually smiled at me, but before you could say anything else Luis and Antonio needed your help with something, and Paloma fell, and Mama called us to dinner, and you never asked me about it again. After that, I just stopped telling you about my days at school."

Martin was crying now. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"Do you remember the clock we used to have from the Old Country?" she asked then.

Martin nodded.

"I broke it. Do you remember what you said to me after you found out?"

"I think I told you not to worry about it. That is was just a clock."

"Yes. You did. But your face didn't really mean it, and then you didn't talk to me for the rest of the night." Theresa was choked up, but she didn't let herself cry this time. "Then when I woke up in the morning you were gone. Dad, that's the last memory I have of you from my childhood. That is the memory I carried with me through my life, tired to squash out. And I thought I had. Until you showed up on my doorstep eleven months ago, and said that you were home for Miguel and Luis. I wanted to be happy for them, but all I could think was that you didn't come home for me, you didn't come home to save me from Alistair. And felt like that little girl all over again, and I hated it! I hated that you could come into my life after 20 years and still make me feel like everything I had and everything I had done and everything I had been through meant nothing to you." Theresa shook her head and bit her bottom lip. "I decided that I wasn't going to let you mean that much to me ever again. I decided that I didn't need you. And your story with Katherine gave me the perfect cover.

"Ethan told me all along that I should tell you this. That I was being unfair to you. Mama tried to tell me the same thing. In my heart, I knew they were right, and I even secretly thought about giving in sometimes. But I was too stubborn to listen. I think God took Josh to punish me for not forgiving you."

"Oh Theresa! Theresa! I'm so sorry!" Martin was quite broken up over her story. "I don't know why God took your son, but you had every right to be angry with me. I haven't given you much reason to feel anything else." He stopped to compose himself, then began a story of his own.

"The moment your mama` handed you to me after you were born, I felt something totally different than I had felt with Antonio and Luis. With them, I looked at them and thought, 'my son!' And I thought of all the things I wanted to teach them, all the things I wanted to teach them about being men. But when I saw you, my beautiful daughter, I felt a fierce need to protect you. You were so tiny, your skin so pink—a perfect china doll I thought. I wanted to give you everything, and protect you from anything that could hurt you. I thought about how fast you would grow up. I thought about all the boys you'd have wrapped around your finger—with those eyes I didn't have any doubt about that. I knew someday, you'd be a beautiful young woman. And the journey would be a lot different than with the boys.

"But I could also see from that very first moment when this little, itty bitty, girl let out this great big wail that you had a fighting spirit about you. You weren't going to keep quiet in this world. You would want to go out and conquer it. I thought about all the ways a tiny little girl like you could get hurt out there in the great big old, rough world, and it scared me to death. All I wanted to do was keep you safe, and I was afraid I didn't know how to. But I vowed to give my last breath trying. That's what all that was about. I was so overprotective of you because you were my little girl.

"As for feeling like we never had time for you, I'm so sorry I made you feel that way. I never meant to. You were such an independent child; I didn't stop to think that you were still my baby girl that needed her daddy's love and attention. I'm sorry I never talked to you again about the spelling bee. I'm sorry that you felt like I was so angry with you over the clock that I wouldn't speak to you for the rest of the night. I was just so worried about what I planned to do.

"And I'm so sorry that I left you to be tortured by Alistair. All of you. I vowed to keep you safe, and I let you down in the worst possible way. And I don't know how to make up for that. Tell me what I have to do! I'll do anything! But please know that I always loved you. Every minute of every day since the day you were born. I have loved you with all of my heart. And I will love you every minute of every day for the rest of my life. No matter how old you get, no matter how many children you have, no matter that you have a husband that lives to love you, you will always be my baby girl. My Theresa. Can you really find it in your heart to give your old man another chance?"

Theresa was crying again, but this time, her eyes held something unfamiliar to Martin. The held something that he had prayed to see since he came back to Harmony eleven months ago.

Love.

She nodded her head slowly. "I'd like that. Can you forgive me for being so mean to you before?"

"There's nothing to forgive, Theresa." he said.

Suddenly she smiled sweetly. "I have just one more condition."

"Name it."

"Will you always call me 'Baby Doll'?"

Martin laughed as he held out his arms. "Come and give your old man a hug…Baby Doll."

Hugging her father for real for the first time since he'd been back, Theresa felt like a little girl again.

And for once she didn't mind.


	58. Chapter 57

Chapter 57 ~

_Follow her footsteps. _

_OK._

_She loves this window seat._

_Why?_

_She's always looking out the window._

Ethan sat in the Theresa's normal spot and looked out the window. He saw the lawn of the side yard. He saw the trees that were the start of the forest.

_What is she always looking at?_

He looked up into the sky like he always watched her do. Ice blue fading to and icy sun set. It was definitely starting to get colder as they got further into November. He hoped wherever she was Theresa remembered to take her jacket. Sometimes when she was focused on something she forgot the most basic things…like her coat in the dead of winter…

_Focus Ethan! Find what Theresa sees through this window!_

Nothing.

He continued looking up into the sky as the sun set. He assumed that when Theresa was doing so, she was thinking of Josh. Probably dreaming of all the things they would be doing together in vivid detail. She probably had whole stories written in her head about their adventures. She probably found it comforting.

He didn't. For him, it was a little…too…too…surreal. Too new age, feel good, spiritual sentimentality. For as much as he loved Theresa for this part of her personality, and as privileged he felt when she took him along for the journey, he was never comfortable with it on his own. In his own skin it felt unnatural, unnerving. Kind of creepy trying to navigate it on his own. Even as a child he had never been one for pretending and imaginary games. He was born and bred on facts, on tangible evidence, on things he could feel and see. Aside from faith in God, he had a hard time believing in things that he couldn't see or prove unless Theresa was there with him to show him the way.

Well she wasn't here, and he couldn't see. He looked down at her blanket where she had left it in her hurry. The red one that was her favorite. It never got old looking at her wrapped in it. It was the color he thought. The red on her skin was absolutely stunning—even if she was only wrapped in an old blanket. He touched it softly, then gently gathered it to his chest. Anything to make him feel close to her right now. He breathed deeply. It still smelled of her. He wasn't sure which of her extensive collection of bath products she had used this morning, but he was pretty sure it was his favorite—at least for today.

_Clank!_

Ethan looked down at the sound and was surprised to find that Theresa's mP3 player had fallen to the floor. It must have been tangled in the blanket and released when he picked it up. He shouldn't have been surprised to find it. Theresa was very musical. She said that music was food for the soul. He remembered the first time that he heard her say that. She was still his mother's young assistant at that time (having left the Book Café where they had originally met), he was still engaged to Gwen, and they were just becoming friends. He remembered thinking that though he himself loved music, he had never thought of it that way. It had just been one of the many things she had said that had that effect on him. He was quickly finding out that she was unlike anyone—male or female—he had ever known. And that if he wasn't careful, she might be the first woman to ever truly make him fall. He reached down and picked up the player, then looked at it thoughtfully as his fingers curled around it. He wondered what she was listening to these days? She was forever changing the songs and downloading new favorites. Whatever fit her mood at the time. Ethan chuckled slightly, popped the attached earphones into his ears, and hit play.

"_First, first time I looked into your eyes_

_I saw heaven, oh, heaven in your eyes…"_

_Hmmm. A little R&B._ Ethan thought, the voice of Brian McKnight flowing out of the headphones. _Nice._

"_Everything I did before you, wasn't worth my while_

_It should've been you all the time_

_I'll do anything, and everything to please you_

_You know how much I need you_

_You're always, always, on my mind…"_

Wasn't that the truth? He hadn't stopped thinking about Theresa since the day he looked into her eyes at the Book Café. He could never forget how much she changed his life. How much he had missed before her, and how miserable he always ended up without her.

"_You're more than wonderful_

_More than amazing_

_Irreplaceable, love, love, of my life_

_You're so incredible, here in these arms tonight_

_The irreplaceable, love, love, of my life…"_

The chorus hit him hard. It was like Brian had taken the words right out of his heart and put them in song. Theresa was the wonderful, amazing, irreplaceable love of his life. He had tired to fight it and do his Crane duty. He had tried to fight it and do his duty—do the honorable thing—by Gwen. He had tried to fight his heart, tired to betray his soul, but it just couldn't be done…

"…_And now I know. You're never coming home. And the house, well it's not even there."_

"_Theresa…" Ethan had reached to touch her and for the first time she recoiled from him._

"_Don't touch me, Ethan! I can't do this anymore. Just go, OK. Just go!"_

_Ethan's heart was doing double time. "No! You don't mean that! You can't!"_

_Theresa nodded, tears streaming. "Yes I do. Now please go." She turned her back on him, shoulders shaking._

"_Theresa, please…." He touched her shoulder to turn her back to him, but she jerked away._

"_GO Ethan!" she sobbed. "Just go!"_

_He left her then, crying in the Roman street, shell-shocked. She couldn't mean it. She never gave up on him. No matter how many protests he made to the contrary, he took comfort in the fact that her heart still belonged to him. He stopped at a nearby café and took a seat away from the street. Of course she wouldn't give up on him. In a few minutes, she would run by here, screaming his name, and he'd take her in his arms and…and…well he didn't want to admit what he would do. _

_Minutes passed, and still she didn't come. He moved forward to a different table. Maybe she wouldn't be able to see him way in the back. He had to be sure he didn't miss her. And still she didn't come. Unable to stand it any longer, Ethan retraced his steps, running to where he had left her. Maybe he could still catch her. Make her understand. _

_Reaching the square where she had last stood, he quickly scanned the crowd…and there she was! She was still there! _

"_Excuse me…excuse me…excuse me…sorry." Ethan bumped and snaked his way through the crowd as fast as he could. "Theresa!" The woman turned, and it wasn't Theresa at all. "Oh. I'm sorry. You looked like someone I know." He quickly apologized. As he turned away, Ethan realized he was standing in the middle of the square. And he felt completely and utterly alone in the middle of the chaos… _

"_Well look at whose here! And to think I thought I could get away from her here. At least they look like they're having a good time."_

_Gwen's voice was chagrined, then warmed slightly, and Ethan followed her eyes to a table where Chad and Whitney were having dinner with Theresa…and that new guy. Jared Casey. And they did seem to be having a good time. Jared leaned close to her and said something that made her laugh. Ethan couldn't hear, but he consoled himself that it was probably something totally stupid. Theresa probably didn't even think it was funny. She was just being nice to the poor guy. _

"_I have to say I'm surprised though." Gwen continued as they were shown to a table—ironically one that gave Ethan a perfect view of their friends. "She hasn't looked our way once, and usually she can smell if you're even in the same vicinity as she is." She paused as more of Theresa's laughter reached them. "Maybe she really has given up on you this time." Gwen looked back across the table when he didn't answer, and scowled at him. But he didn't notice._

_He was too busy watching the love of his life laugh as he hadn't heard her laugh in a long time. Her smile had an extra brilliance to it, and her eyes were sparkling in a way he hadn't seen in a long time. In the way he always thought had been reserved just for him._

_Why didn't she just drive that knife she was using to cut her food straight into his heart? It had to hurt less than this…"_

_Baby you know, you know you're my one and only_

_(All I wanna do is be together)_

_Sugar you know, I'll never leave you lonely_

_In your eyes, in your eyes I see forever_

_Ahhhh, ohhhh, ohhh, ohhhhh,_

_Ahhhhh, ohhhhhh, ohhhh,_

_You're more than wonderful_

_More than amazing_

_The irreplaceable, love, love, of my life_

_You're so incredible, here in these arms tonight_

_The irreplaceable, love, love, of my life…"_

_D***!_ Ethan's throat ached with unshed emotion, and he tried to shake it off. He'd been crying so much lately. At least the song was finished. He wasn't sure how much more of that he could take. Then he sighed as the next one started. Was she trying to kill him…?

"_I can feel the magic floating in the air _

_Being with you gets me that way _

_I watch the sunlight dance across your face And I've _

_never been this swept away…" _

"_All my thoughts seem to settle on the breeze _

_When I'm lying wrapped in your arms _

_The whole world just fades away The only thing I hear _

_is the beating of your heart"_

" _Cause I can feel you breathe It's washing over me _

_Suddenly I'm melting into you _

_There's nothing left to prove Baby all we need is just to be _

_Caught up in the touch The slow and steady rush _

_Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be? …"_

"_Theresa, this is so wrong."_

"_How can it be? That wasn't lust. It was passion. Passion born of love. Passion born of love that has been too long denied."_

"_But I'm married. I took vows. Before God…"_

"_Shhh."_

_She and risen up on one elbow, and then brushed her fingertip across his lips in an attempt to quiet him. It worked. With her hair flowing free around her face, her eye alight with passion, her lips still swollen from the fervency of their kissing…the feel of her skin against his, the weight of her body pressing hard on him, he had forgotten everything else._

"_You took vows you didn't mean. You stood at an altar you didn't want to stand at. You say you love Gwen, but do you love her like this?"_

_She had kissed him then. In a way that set him on fire, and soon he couldn't even hear the irate voice in his head screaming at him to get off of this beach and away from this woman before it was too late. In his heart he knew it was already too late. He was giving in…because…because…he didn't love Gwen like this. And he craved Theresa like an alcoholic craves his next drink. And even though he'd hate himself later, he was going to drink…_

_"Cause I can feel you breathe It's washing over me _

_Suddenly I'm melting into you _

_There's nothing left to prove Baby all we need is just to be _

_Caught up in the touch The slow and steady rush _

_Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be? _

_I can feel you breathe _

_Just breathe..." _

_"Caught up in the touch _

_The slow and steady rush _

_Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be? _

_I can feel you breathe _

_Just breathe…"_

_"I can feel the magic floating in the air Being with you gets me that way..."_

This time the tears would not be stemmed. He had found Theresa again. Not in the woods. Not in the sky. Not even in the window seat really. And come to think of it, she had never really been lost.

He'd found her in his heart and his memories, through her music. Which she had always told him was food for the soul.

He couldn't wait for the day he could tell her just how right she had been.

_Featured Songs:_

"_**Love of My Life"** —Brian McKnight and **"Breathe"** —Faith Hill._


	59. Chapter 58

Chapter 58 ~

Theresa left the B&B, got into her car, and let out a long breath. She couldn't believe she had done it. She'd forgiven her father. Thinking about it, she couldn't stop the giddy feeling in her heart, and soon she was laughing so hard she was crying. It would be slow going, but they would have the kind of relationship a daughter always wanted with her father. She couldn't believe she had spent so long fighting this feeling. She turned the key in the ignition and turned for home.

Driving along, she looked at the trees all around and noticed that she had pretty much missed the changing of the leaves and doing all the fall things that she loved to do. A few of the trees still sported colorful leaves, but they were quickly falling. Well, there would always be next year.

"_You can stop looking out at life and go out into it…"_

Mrs. Patterson's words played clearly in her mind and some of her good mood evaporated. She had been missing out a lot on life. But her baby! How could she enjoy her life when he wasn't here to share it?

"…_I started living for Jennifer instead of pining over her…a mother she could be proud of…"_

"…_One breath…one step at a time…"_

More words of wisdom from Mrs. Patterson's talk. Was that the key? Living _for_ Josh?

"_But…I couldn't get back my marriage…don't waste it…it comes once in a life time…to only a precious few…"_

Ethan. What would happen to them if she couldn't get a handle on this? Mrs. Patterson said that she and her husband had ended up strangers. Theresa shook her head. No. She could not let that happen to her and Ethan. She loved him too much, and sometimes she needed him more than that.

Looking again at the last of the changing leaves, she made a snap decision. At the next turn, she turned left, and followed the little road to a park she and the kids had discovered one summer day. It had a huge Oak tree that reminded her of her Thinking Tree back at her mother's house, and she had loved sitting there watching the kids run around and play. Reaching the park fairly quickly, she pulled off to the side and shut off the ignition. She reached for her windbreaker, and put it on as she got out of the car. It was a little chilly for such a light jacket, but she figured that she wouldn't stay long. Just long enough to enjoy the last of the fall in Josh's memory.

"_If I remember right, the tree was down this path a little ways…yep. There it is._ Theresa stopped to look at the massive Oak. Only about half of its leaves were gone, and the others were quickly fading in color. Under it was a huge pile of dry leaves, and she lowered herself down into the middle of them, pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. It felt a little weird, trying to do something that usually came so easily to her, but she pushed that aside and concentrated on her surroundings, trying to take it all in.

The sky was blue like ice, quickly fading into a beautiful fall sunset. Purple, then red, then orange, then disappearing over the cliffs in the distance. The air was brisk, refreshing, the kind that you loved to spend time in, then curl up by a fire later. Ethan always loved Theresa's face after she had been in the cold. He said that he looked at her pink nose and cheeks and shining eyes and thought she was the most adorable thing in the world.

_Honk! Honk!_

Theresa looked up and saw a formation of geese, flying high and tirelessly, obviously a little late on their flight south for the winter. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She loved the smell of fall. It was hard to explain to people—the smell of fall. It was the smell of pine from the nearby forest. It was the smell of the neighbor's bonfire. It was the smell of Mrs. Waldner's Pumpkin Farm and the smell of Mr. Brown's Apple Orchard. It was the smell of the leaves on the ground, of a hint of winter. That's what fall smelled like. Fall meant school productions, cozy fires in the fireplace, Mrs. Patterson's hot apple cider, a Thanksgiving turkey, looking forward to a Christmas ham, slowing down from a busy summer. To Theresa, fall was like coming home.

_Coming home._

Then Theresa smiled to herself. Yes, fall was like coming home. And home was where the heart was. And her heart was where Joshua lived. Always. No matter where she was, and even though he wouldn't be in her arms, Joshua would be home.

"And I think it's time for me to go home." Theresa was feeling pretty drained, and she could stay out her forever if she wasn't careful…

"Hey! Watch out!"

"Oh!" Theresa gave a startled jump as a soccer ball flew threw the air, narrowly missing her head as she stood to leave.

"Sorry Ma'am!"

Theresa picked up the ball, and turned to hand it to the owner of the voice.

"I didn't mean to scare you." The little boy said.

Theresa smiled. "It's OK. You couldn't see me from the other side of this tree."

The little boy nodded, and made no move to leave. Just looked at her attentively.

"Um. Are you playing out here alone?" Theresa asked. "I didn't know anyone lived out here."

"Oh, I'm playing alone right now. But we all live here." he answered matter of factly.

Theresa looked confused. "Live where?"

The little boy chuckled. "Here silly!" He took her hand as if he had known her all his life and led her around the tree, and down a different path. "We all live here."

Theresa's eyes widened, for 'here' was a big brick building with a huge yard, and kids were playing everywhere.

"This is your family?" Theresa asked in disbelief.

"Sure." The little boy looked at her as if having fifty brothers and sisters was the most natural thing in the world.

"But…your parents…how? " She looked back at him in bewilderment, and he finally took pity on her and explained.

"Oh. There aren't any parents here. Just us kids. And the ladies that take care of us."

"So this is an orphanage. I didn't know we had one here in Harmony." Theresa remarked. "I thought you said this was your family." she added, once again confused.

Again, the child nodded. "Family isn't all about blood you know. Family is whom you decide it is. This is my family."

"That's very true." Theresa was impressed. He couldn't have been more than six years old. "Where did you get so smart?"

The boy shrugged cutely. "I always thought it was obvious."

Theresa laughed. This was a cute kid. He was small for his age she thought. Big brown eyes that seemed to look deep into your soul, light sandy brown hair, and a smile that seemed to light the world.

"What's your name?" he suddenly asked, and Theresa was again thrown at how comfortable he was with her.

"Theresa. I'm Theresa." she answered. "What's your name?"

The child smiled. "Jay. I'm Jay."

* * *

Ethan was sitting in the family room and trying not to panic. It was past dinnerr time, and Theresa still wasn't home. And according to Mrs. Patterson's calculations, she been gone at least three hours.

_7:00._

_7:15._

_7:30._

_7:45._

_8:00._

_Four hours. I'll give her ten more minutes._

_8:10._

Theresa still wasn't home.

Ethan resolutely walked toward the garage, and was pulling on his coat when Mrs. Patterson came silently down the stairs. One look told him that she was worried too.

"I'll be back." he said.

"I'll be praying." she answered, but much like his wife earlier in the day, he was too far gone to hear her.

In his car, Ethan was doing some praying of his own.

_Please God. Let me find her. And wherever she is, keep her safe..._


	60. Chapter 59

Chapter 59 ~

"Ethan! Hi! I didn't expect you. Come on in!" Pilar held the door open for her son-in-law. "Do you want something to drink?"

"No. No. I can't stay long. And I didn't think of it until I was in the car, but it probably would've been easier to call." he answered as he stepped into the foyer.

"What would've been easier?" Pilar asked curiously.

"I'm looking for Theresa. Is she here?"

Concern began to seep into Pilar's eyes. "No. I haven't seen or talked to her all day. Why?"

"Well, she's not at home. Mrs. Patterson said that she suddenly ran out of the house around 4:00 this evening, and didn't say where she was going. Just that she would be back. Obviously since its 8:30, I'm a little worried." Ethan explained in a rush. "Do you know if Luis, Miguel, or Paloma have seen her?"

"They didn't say anything if they did; Paloma is the only one home right now; Paloma!" Pilar's worry was making her run her sentences together.

"Yeah?" Paloma called from somewhere in the back of the house.

"Can you come here please?" Pilar turned back to Ethan. "Are you sure that she didn't tell anyone where she was going?"

Ethan nodded, then approached his sister-in-law as she walked into the front room. "Have you seen or talked to Theresa today?"

Paloma shook her head. "No, Ethan. I haven't. Why? Is she missing?"

"Well, I don't know really. She just left the house without telling anyone where she was going this afternoon." Ethan explained again.

"Did you call Martin?" Pilar asked. "Maybe he knows something?"

Ethan shook his head doubtfully. "I think to Martin is the last place Theresa would go."

Pilar nodded. "True. I so wish they were on better terms; I guess at times I can convince myself that they are."

"I'm sure there's a logical explanation." Paloma tried to comfort them all. "She probably just lost track of time. You know how impulsive she is sometimes."

"Touché." Ethan replied dryly. "But on the other hand, that's what worries me so much. Who knows what she's taken into her head to do this time…" the ringing of the telephone, the cordless extension to which Pilar picked up in the family room, interrupted him.

"Oh Martin!"

Ethan and Paloma listened closely; they were sure Pilar would ask him about Theresa even though they didn't think he would know anything.

"Sure. That would be a big help. With Luis working so many nights lately he hasn't had a lot of time to do it."

Pilar talked for a few more minutes, setting up a time for Martin to stop by in the morning, and telling him that he didn't have to bring breakfast. Ethan wished she would hurry up and ask already. Just to confirm that Martin hadn't seen or heard from his oldest daughter.

"So Martin. This is probably a silly question, but have you seen or talked to Theresa today?" Pilar paused, and then her eyes lit up. "You have?"

Ethan quickly stepped forward and motioned for Pilar to let him speak to Martin.

"Martin! It's Ethan. You say you've heard from Theresa today? You saw her? She came to your place?" Ethan was shocked, as were Pilar and Paloma. "No. I had no idea. She didn't tell us where she was going, and she's not home yet. When did she leave? Uh huh. OK. Thanks. Oh. Don't worry. I'm sure there's a logical explanation. Bye."

Ethan clicked the off button on the handset and turned to see his mother and sister-in-law looking at him expectantly.

"Martin said that Theresa came over to his place at 4:00 this afternoon, and left a little after 5:00. He said that she said that no one knew where she was, so she had to get home right away, and that the afternoon went really well."

Paloma looked at her wristwatch. "That was almost four hours ago." Worry began to creep into her eyes. "What are you going to do?"

Ethan thought quickly. "I'm going to drive the road from the B&B back to our house. I didn't have to go that way when I came in, so maybe she's on that road. Can one of you call my dad? See if he can get a search party together?"

Paloma looked doubtful. "Ethan, it hasn't been twenty-four hours yet. They can't do anything until then."

Ethan wanted to shake her but knew she was speaking as the cop she was, and indeed she confirmed that thought with her next statement.

"I hate that part about missing persons cases. I know that if Theresa didn't make it home, something is wrong. Twenty-four hours could be too long."

"Then call Sam!" Pilar pleaded. "Maybe you can get him to make an exception for us."

Paloma reached for the phone, telling of her decision, and Ethan rushed out the door.

"Thank you! And call me as soon as you know anything!"

* * *

"So Jay. What are you doing playing so late out here?" The mother in Theresa made her ask.

"Well, we had a little time to play before it got dark, and I dribbled my ball all the way out to where you were. It's OK though. As long as I'm back for dinner."

He was a very trusting and very unafraid for a child of his age. And Theresa wasn't sure she liked how 'the ladies' were running things. Letting a six-year-old wander around at dusk so far away from the yard! She had a good mind to just give them a piece of hers!

"OK. Well, why don't I walk you back? I want to let the ladies know you're OK."

Jay shrugged in that cute way, as if to say 'that's really not necessary'. "Sure."

He led the way up the path toward the yard and Theresa followed, looking around curiously. It really was perfect for such a large group of kids. There was a playground consisting of a jungle gym, swing set, and monkey bars. Next to that was an open expanse of black top where a few girls were skipping rope. Beyond them was a field that was bordered by trees, all in glorious fall array. Soon they were walking past a baseball diamond, where a game was in full swing.

"Heads up!"

Theresa jumped for a second time as another ball sailed in their direction. Jay caught it deftly, and threw it back into the game with one smooth move. Theresa was again impressed, with his skill and the fact that he didn't seem to have hurt his hand at all catching that ball without a glove.

"Wow! You look like a professional at that."

Jay smiled. "Thanks! I had a really good teacher."

"That's nice." Theresa said. "Who taught you?"

"We're here." Jay announced, and Theresa forgot about her question as she was led inside. She was surprised when a fairly young woman met her.

"This is Theresa." Jay introduced them. "She was out by the road, and wanted to come back with me so you would know I was OK."

"Hi. I'm Angel." The young woman held out her hand for Theresa to shake it and then introduced another woman, a much older one, which joined them. "And this is Elizabeth. We're two of the ladies that look after the kids."

"Hi." Theresa shook Elizabeth's hand as well. "I just wanted to make sure he got back safely. It's getting kind of dark, and with kids myself, I knew you would be worried."

Both women laughed. "Thank you. But we don't worry about him too much. He's such an explorer. And he's very good about being where he's supposed to be at the appointed times."

Looking at the love in the woman's eyes, Theresa didn't question how much they loved this little boy, and she knew they were right. Somehow she knew that Jay could take care of himself.

"Be quick now and say 'goodbye' to Theresa, Jay. The master is coming to visit tonight and you all need to be in by then, OK?" Angel admonished, and then she and Elizabeth turned to start gathering the other children.

"Well, I better let you go." Theresa bent down to Jay's level. "I'd better get home too. My husband is probably worried, and I still have to get my car. I wish I knew a shortcut back to my house." she continued playfully.

"You should just go through the woods. It wouldn't take you anytime at all to get home." Jay said.

Theresa frowned. " 'Through the woods'? Why would I do that?"

"Because your house is just on the other side." Jay replied.

_

* * *

_

_Nothing! Where could she be?_

Ethan had driven almost the full distance between the B&B and their house and hadn't seen any sign of Theresa or her car anywhere. Reaching the last turn before their road, he made a sharp U-turn.

_Let's try this again. _

He was about to pass Mrs. Waldner's pumpkin farm for a second time, when he got an idea and turned onto the long drive instead. It was a long shot, but if Theresa had gone to see Martin—and the afternoon had actually gone well—anything was possible. Soon, he was trotting up the front steps of the house, and knocking on the door.

"Well hello there, Mr. Winthrop!" The elderly lady was obviously surprised. "What brings you out here so late?"

"I'm looking for my wife." Ethan didn't see the need to waste time with pleasantries. "I was wondering if she had stopped in today at all?"

"No, dear. I haven't seen the Mrs. I've been missing her this fall too."

Ethan's heart sank, even though he knew it wasn't likely Theresa was here. "OK. Thank you for your time."

He got back in his car and his cell phone rang immediately. Checking the caller ID, he saw that it was Pilar, and he answered quickly.

"Hi. Did Paloma talk to my dad?"

"Yes I did." Paloma's voice came over the line. "He can't do anything official, but a few of the cops that are off duty have offered to help look. I told them where you were, and they're headed out that way. If you don't find anything, go straight to the station. Luis and Sam are keeping in touch with the guys, so they can tell you what's going on."

"OK. Thanks."

"Ethan? Don't worry. We're going to find her."

Strain and worry were evident in Ethan's voice when he answered. "Yeah. I know."

_At least I hope so..._

* * *

"Jay, how do you know where I live?" Theresa was understandably suspicious, but he answered as openly as ever.

"I was there a few weeks ago and played baseball with Bud, Jane, Lily, and your husband. Actually, he's the one that taught me to play."

"_I was there a few weeks ago…played baseball…your husband taught me…"_

"You did? I mean, you were?" Theresa tried to remember…bits and pieces of things she'd heard but didn't pay attention to…

_"Daddy? Do you think Jay's OK? We haven't seen him in awhile…I don't know, Sweetheart. But we just have to hope he is…I wish I knew where he lived though…I'm glad we taught him how to play baseball…"_

"_You're_ Jay!" Theresa suddenly put it all together. "You're the little boy my husband was talking about!"

Jay only smiled.

"You have to come with me! He'll be so glad to see you!" Theresa exclaimed.

"I can't." Jay said. "We're not allowed to leave after dark."

Theresa would not be put off. "Then I'll go home and bring him right back. He's wanted to find you since that day. I know he'd love to see where you live."

Again Jay shook his head. "He can come, but not tonight. When the master comes, we never have any guests. But, I have to go inside now."

"Can't you ask if they'll let you come just this one time? Angel? Or Elizabeth?"

"Well, that's not the rules…"

"Joshua! Joshua, come quickly and close the door."

Jay looked over his shoulder and then back at Theresa, whose face was ashen. "They're calling me. I really have to go now."

"Wait!" Theresa stopped the door with the palm of her hand. "What did they just call you?" Then her whole body began to tremble at his answer.

"Joshua. That's my name."


	61. Chapter 60

Chapter 60 ~

"Joshua? Your name is Joshua?" Theresa felt herself begin to crack. The dam she had carefully built around her heart was about to break.

Jay nodded. "Yes. The kids call me Jay. But my name is Joshua."

The tears flowed then. Fast rivers running down her face. But she never took her eyes off the little boy.

"Joshua? Are you coming?" Angel appeared in the doorway and noticed Theresa's tears. She looked down at Jay and they shared a look that Theresa didn't understand. Thinking that they must be wondering what she was doing blubbering like an idiot while the cold came in, she hurried to explain.

"I'm sorry. Don't mind me. I just lost a son."

"I know." Jay said.

Too busy trying to get control and searching for a tissue in her jacket pocket, Theresa didn't hear him, and continued. "His name was Joshua too."

"I know." Jay again replied. A tissue magically appeared in his hand and he handed it to Theresa, who blew her nose and wiped her eyes, and still didn't hear what he had just said.

"His name was Joshua." she repeated. "Joshua Gabriel Winthrop."

"_I know_." Jay said a third time, with emphasis.

Theresa looked at him in surprise. "What? How could you possibly know that?" she sniffed. "Oh wait. My husband must have told you when you were at our house before."

Jay shook his head. "He didn't tell me anything about your son."

"Then how could you know about him?" Theresa asked again.

Jay looked at her, his eyes clear as day, his demeanor solid as a rock.

"I know because_ I_ am Joshua Gabriel Winthrop…Mom."

The little blood left in Theresa's face drained away, and her eyes conveyed her disbelief as she heard what he called her.

" 'Mom'? You just called me 'Mom'."

Jay chuckled. "Yes, I did. I believe that is what most children call their mothers. And you are my mother."

The tears could not be stopped after that. And they were not quiet tears, or even heavy weeping. They were gut wrenching, body jerking sobs that dropped Theresa to the ground in an instant.

* * *

"Ethan will you sit down? You're making me nervous pacing back and forth like that." Sam stood behind his desk watching his son try to wear a path in the tile of the station house floor.

"_You're_ nervous? Hello! My wife is the one missing out there!" Ethan stopped pacing long enough to point that out to Sam. "You can't possibly be as nervous as me!" He resumed pacing, and Sam gave Luis a look, and gave up on trying to convince Ethan to sit.

"So Ethan. Papa` actually said that Theresa stopped over to see him and that the visit went well?" Luis was still wondering over that fact.

Ethan sighed then dropped into a chair, leaving Sam to sigh with relief. "Yeah. That's what he said. But I was in such a hurry to leave and look for Theresa that I didn't ask any specifics."

"I can't wait to find out what that's about. Dang it Theresa! Where are you!" Luis stared at the phone, willing it to ring. They had yet to hear from any of the guys that were out looking for his sister.

"Staring at the phone isn't going to make it ring Luis." Sam remarked tiredly.

Both Ethan and Luis gave him the evil eye.

"You know what this is?" Sam came from behind the desk and put his hand on Ethan's shoulder. "This is Theresa. She probably just went for a drive to clear her head after seeing Martin and lost track of time. You know how she does. She'll show up at home totally oblivious to the fact that she's had us worried half to death and she'll tell us about this…this…great little roadside café that had the best vanilla chai tea or something." Sam smiled. "It's her way. And as much as it drives you crazy sometimes, you both know you love her for it."

Ethan and Luis were smiling sheepishly as Sam finished.

"That has happened once or twice." Luis said.

"Yeah." Ethan was thoughtful. "I'd feel a whole lot better if Mrs. Patterson called right now to say that Theresa was home. But Martin said that she wanted to get right home since we didn't know where she was. I don't think she's stopped at some great roadside café after a long drive." Ethan shook his head. "Something's wrong. I can feel it."

_Ring. Ring._

The phone on Luis's desk rang at just that moment.

"See?" Sam looked at Ethan encouraging. "They already found her."

"Harmony PD. Lopez-Fitzgerald speaking." Luis answered quickly, then paused to listen for a minute before his head dropped into his hand. "Oh s***."

Ethan felt his heart jump into his throat and he leaned forward as Luis finished the call.

"OK. We'll be right there."

"Where are we going?" Ethan asked already buttoning his coat and reaching for his car keys.

"To the hospital." Luis answered. He also was getting ready to go, never stopping to ask Sam if it was all right. "They found her, and you were right about something being wrong."

"How bad?" Ethan's heart was pounding so hard he felt like his head was going to explode.

Luis looked at him seriously. "They said she's in pretty tough shape."

Fear flooded Ethan's body. Then without a word to anyone he turned and ran for the door.

_

* * *

_

_Mom…You're my mother…I am Joshua Gabriel Winthrop..._

"No. No. He can not be my son! My son died!"

Jay didn't say anything as he and Angel helped Theresa to her feet and brought her into the entryway of the building out of the cold.

"How can you be my son? My son died!" Theresa suddenly demanded. It was just her and Jay in the entryway now.

"Yes. I did die."

"But you're not even a baby!" Theresa pointed out. "My son was only six weeks old!"

Jay nodded. "Things aren't the same here as you remember."

"What do you mean?" Theresa was confused.

"I mean you've been given a very rare opportunity. Most of the time when people die, their loved ones go through life never knowing, always wondering about them. You get to see that I'm fine, and I'm happy. You know what I look like, and the kind of person I am. You don't have to live your life missing me and wondering what could've been. Now you know."

"Oh Josh!" Theresa called him by the name they had given him. The name she knew him by in her heart. "My son!" She looked at him and stopped just short of wrapping him in her arms, though they ached to do so. "Can I…is it OK if I hold you?" she finally whispered.

Jay grinned as he dropped into Theresa's lap and wrapped his arms around her neck.

Theresa wrapped her own arms around her son, trying to hold all of his at once. She was holding her son! It had been her biggest regret that she had never gotten to hold him before he died, and it was the one thing she had ached to do more than anything else since. And it felt better than she could've ever imagined. It felt as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

All too soon for Theresa, Jay pulled away, though he didn't leave her lap.

"It's time for you to go now."

Theresa shook her head and stroked his light brown hair. Now that she knew he was her son, she could see the resemblance to Ethan quite strongly. Their other children had Ethan's blue eyes, but looked mostly like her. Josh looked mostly like Ethan. The idea made her smile.

"You look just like your father you know."

Jay looked at her like she was silly then laughed. "Of course I know that! I know I look just like Dad." He looked at her quietly for a minute then spoke again.

"I know something else too."

"What?" Theresa asked softly. She was still amazed she was holding her little boy.

"I know Dad is waiting for you. He's waiting for you to come back. To the life you had before. And it's time. That's why you have to go now."

"No. I just found you. I can't go now!" Theresa started to cry again. "Please. I can't leave."

"You have to. Dad's waiting."

"How do you know? How do you know he'll actually be waiting for me?" Theresa didn't have to ask to what Josh was referring. She knew "life before" really meant "to how your relationship was before I died".

"Mom! Please!" he answered with all the knowing he could muster. "Dad is always waiting for you. He always will be. He loves you that much."

"But how do I leave you again?" Theresa cried. "Why did you have to die?"

"I can't tell you that." Jay answered. "Some things you'll have to wait to ask the Master when you come to stay. But you're not really leaving me. You have a real picture to keep in your heart now. Whenever you think of me, you'll see me here. You'll see my playing with the other kids. You'll see my playing baseball and soccer. You'll remember Angel and Elizabeth. So really, you're taking me with you—in spirit. And with Dad to hold your hand, and my sisters and brother to keep you on track, you'll be just fine."

Theresa sniffed softly. "You think so?"

Jay nodded. "You know, Dad was having a hard time too. One of the things that he mourned was that he'd never teach me to play baseball."

"I guess you fixed that, huh?" Theresa laughed tearfully

"Yeah." Jay smiled. " He was so nice even though he didn't know who I was. Remember that."

Theresa was confused. "Remember what?"

" 'Be not forgetful to entertain strangers. For thereby some have entertained angels unawares.' You never know if I'll be coming to visit, or what form I'll come to you in. So be nice to everyone you meet, OK?" He gave her a wink, so much like his father's that Theresa melted even as she laughed.

"That's a very good lesson. I'll be extra sure to teach it to Bud, Jane and Lily too."

"Good. But you really have to go now. Dad's waiting." Jay stood and pulled Theresa to her feet as well.

Theresa caught a glimpse out the window and noticed that it had gotten quite dark and the wind was starting to blow. "It's so dark out. How do I get back?" she asked.

"Through the woods. I'll show you." Jay took her hand, and led her outside.

Following trustingly even though it was pitch black, Theresa kept up with Jay as he ran. He ran so fast she thought he might be flying. In no time at all, they reached the woods at the edge of the playground.

"This is as far as I can go this time. Stay on the path, and you'll get home safely." Jay let to of her hand, and started floating backward away from her.

"No! Wait!" Theresa cried. "I need you! What if I can't see the path? What do I do then?"

"Follow your heart!" Jay called to her. "It will lead you home!"

"Josh!" Theresa felt the tears welling in her eyes as she watched her son float away.

"It's OK, Mom. It's time for you to go now. Tell Dad, Bud, Jane, and Lily that I love them. I love you Mom! Bye!"

"Bye Son! I love you too!" Theresa watched until she couldn't see him anymore, then started home through the woods.

It was very dark, and the deeper she got into them, the harder it was to see the path until she couldn't see it at all. Soon she was lost and she began to despair of ever getting home to Ethan and the kids.

"_Follow your heart! It will lead you home!"_

Josh had told her to follow her heart. He had told her that it would lead her home.

_Follow my heart. That's all I have to do. Follow my heart…follow my heart…follow my heart…_

"Follow my heart…follow my heart…follow… my…"

"Theresa? Theresa? Can you open your eyes? Baby, wake up."

_Ethan! I'm home!_

"Ethan?" Theresa murmured weakly.

"Oh. Thank you Lord!" Ethan breathed.

"I'll go get Eve." Luis said and quickly left the hospital room.

Theresa let her eyes flutter open. They met Ethan's immediately as he leaned over her. He was holding her hand. "What happened?" she asked sleepily.

"We're not sure." Ethan began. "But we think you were hit by a car. Probably by a drunk driver since you were the only one found on the road by that park."

Theresa tried to think, but her head ached too much. "I don't remember."

Ethan kissed her fingers. "That's OK. You need to get your rest now." He settled the covers more closely around Theresa then sat on the edged of the bed, his palms resting on the bed on either side of her waist. "What were you doing out by that park anyway?"

That she could remember.

"I saw him!"

"Saw who?" Ethan asked.

"Our son! I saw Joshua!"

Ethan didn't say anything. Maybe Theresa's head injury would be worse than they thought.

"Ethan? Did you hear me? I said I saw our son!"

"Yeah. I heard you…" Ethan trailed off.

"And that's not even the best part!" Theresa continued. "He's Jay! Your Jay! The one you taught to play baseball in the yard before he disappeared? He's Joshua. Our son!"

Ethan paled. She was saying Jay was their son? That couldn't be possible. "Well, that's nice. We can talk about it more when you've had some sleep." He hoped that after a nap she's be thinking more clearly. Clearly hitting her head had made her mix all the events of the last few months together.

"I don't need to sleep!" she laughed. "Ethan! I saw our son! It must've been Heaven, but I don't know. But anyway, the kids call him Jay, which is why he introduced himself that way to you. He's fine. He's happy. He told us it's OK to live our lives again. And to always remember to be nice to people we don't know because we'll never know if it's him visiting or not. And that he loves you and Bud and Jane and Lily."

She laughed again, and it was the same laugh she had as a starry-eyed young girl back in the day. And her face. It was positively glowing. From the inside out. As if that light that had gone out when Joshua died, the light that he had missed so much, had suddenly been rekindled.

Could it be? Could she have really seen their son while she was unconscious?

"Ethan? Isn't it wonderful? Our son. He looks just like you. He winks like you. And he's so smart. He told me you were waiting. That you always would be. That you loved me that much. And he was right. Here you are!" She looked at him soberly for a minute. "I'm sorry I've been so impossible to live with. I love you more than my own life. You know that right?"

Whether she had actually seen Joshua or not, whether he had actually helped bring about this change in his wife or not, those were words Ethan had longed to hear. Hearing Theresa say she loved him was oxygen to his lungs, the blood in his veins. He leaned forward on his hands and kissed her tenderly on the lips, felt the old passion she had for him, and listened to her sigh contentedly.

"Yes. I know." he smiled. "I love you even more."

As he brushed her hair away from her face, his hand brushed against something soft on the pillow. Picking it up, his eyes grew wide with wonder.

It was a small white feather.

And then he knew.

He looked down at his wife, but she didn't notice. Her eyes held the old sparkle as she dreamed. Dreamed big, dreamed the impossible.

Or like tonight, remembered their son.

Looking up to the ceiling he whispered, "Thank you Joshua Gabriel Winthrop! I love you too!"


	62. Epilogue

Epilogue ~

_**Spring**_

"Are you sure that you're up to this?"

"Yes. Are you?"

"I think so."

"I'm glad we're doing it together."

"Me too."

Ethan turned into the cemetary drive, and then turned right down a short path, and Theresa took a deep breath. She was definitely glad that she and Ethan were doing this together.

Finally.

She felt the car slow to a stop, and heard Ethan say,

"Here we are."

The familiar dinging sound of a car door being opened filled the space between them as Ethan moved to get out. He cast one more glance in her direction and noticed her hesitation.

"Are you coming? We don't have to do this if you're not ready."

Theresa shook her head. She was finished with running. She had made so much progress since she had seen Joshua—wherever it had been. She still wasn't sure if it had been a dream or if she had really been to the other side. But it didn't matter. He had helped her find the strength to go on, and this would prove it. She reached and opened her own door.

"I'm ready to do this."

Theresa walked around the front of the car to where Ethan was waiting for her on the driver's side, and took his offered hand. Ethan's long stride ate up the ground, and they were there before Theresa had prepared herself.

_Joshua Gabriel Winthrop…._

"Wow. Even after all this time it's still hard to believe isn't it?" Ethan pushed his sunglasses higher on his nose and gripped Theresa's hand tighter.

Theresa didn't say anything. No words were really needed. She knelt down, pulling Ethan with her, and set her packages down. She ran her hand over the smooth stone, thinking fond thoughts of her baby boy.

"Hey Josh. I'd say 'it's Mommy, and Daddy's here too', but I'm pretty sure you know that."

Ethan chuckled. "Yeah. You're probably right here, hiding in the bushes somewhere watching us."

Theresa sniffed. "We miss you. A little more everyday I think. But it helps remembering that you're safe and happy, just like you said it would."

"We brought you something." Ethan reached for one of the packages in front of Theresa. "We brought you your first baseball and glove. Like the one you used at our house when you visited. It even has your name on it so everyone knows it's yours."

He paused here, and Theresa rubbed his back. It was such a cute little set, and they had it encased in an all-weather display case to protect it from the elements. The casing was a little bit heavy so it wouldn't get blown away, and Theresa thought it would be perfect. She also had a variety of colorful spring flowers to place in the planters built into the base of the headstone.

"I'm glad that the groundskeeper keeps the plots so neat. We don't have to worry about weeds or anything." Ethan said. Then he placed the case with the glove and ball behind the main part of the stone, the part with Joshua's name on it.

They had been working silently planting the flowers for a few minutes when a small white butterfly fluttered around them and perched on the very tip of one of the flowers. The sight made Theresa smile.

"Look Ethan! Isn't it beautiful?"

Ethan nodded with a smile of his own. "I wonder what kind it is?"

"It's the kind that reminds us that there is always life after winter." she answered confidently.

_It's the kind that reminds us that there is always life after winter._

The old Theresa was definitely back.

It had taken a long time. It had taken a lot of heartache over the last year. Sometimes he had wondered if they would make it.

_You will rise from out of the depths…_

That's what Father Lannigan had told him way back then. When Ethan wasn't sure his marriage was going to survive. Ethan made a mental note to tell him how right he had been.

They had risen from the depths of their despair over Joshua.

They had overcome their differing opinions over Martin.

They had won against Julian once again.

They had weathered the storms associated with Miguel and Luis's trials.

They were still standing. Battered and bruised. Tattered and broken.

But not destroyed.

In fact, Ethan had come to learn that many good things could come from out of the depths of tragedy and sorrow. Some of his greatest gifts had come out of the trial and heartache of the last year. He didn't take even on minute for granted anymore. He watched his children grow with new eyes, and made a point to cherish every moment. He made a point to find a reason to smile everyday, laugh often. He thanked God everyday for family—his own with Theresa, his in-laws, and his mother, even though she drove him crazy sometimes. He thanked God for his health, his job, his home. He even was able to thank Him for Joshua. For through Joshua, he and Theresa had learned how to love each other more, how to support each other better.

And his marriage was the greatest gift of all.

Suddenly, the butterfly took flight again, and Theresa stood, shading her eyes as she watched it disappear. Ethan didn't have to be able to see her eyes to know that they were shining. When she couldn't see the butterfly anymore, Theresa dropped back to the ground, and looked curiously at her smiling husband.

"What? What are you smiling about?"

"Just thinking. About what you said. That is was the kind of butterfly that reminds us of life after winter. It sounds like something you'd say back when we were Ethan and Theresa."

Theresa looked thoughtful. "You know. I want to thank you. I always meant to, but I don't think I ever did."

Ethan frowned. "Thank me for what?"

"For reminding me who I was. For remembering me when I was young even though I forgot."

"Of course I remember." Ethan said matter of factly. "I remember everything about you. You're my heart."

Theresa smiled. "That works out pretty good. Because you're mine. And one more thing. We'll always be Ethan and Theresa. Even when we're old and gray, and getting our dentures mixed up."

Ethan laughed and reached to give her a hug. "I can't wait."

Yep.

He was pretty sure he couldn't love Theresa anymore than he did in that moment and certain that this was the best thing to come from all they'd gone through:

Love.

Love from the depths of his soul.


End file.
